oof. need some support guys :(

[Guest guest]

Hello Everyone, I am so upset right now. I got really triggered by something someone said and when stuff like this happens it is so hard to not go right back into dieting mentality.For several years I was a size 12... partially due to living overseas, partially to not eating, partially to smoking almost a pack a day, Then I returned to the US and got a desk job and while I did diet it was a constant and eternal fight to remain at a 12. So about two years ago quitting smoking was the "last nail in the coffin" that and getting away from a very abusive relationship....as it were and my weight went back to about a size 12, last year I got tired of fighting my body and let myself go back to where it usually is, a size 14.. and Ive been working really really hard to accept

myself.This morning a cleaning lady who I have not seen in probably 3 years or so came in and grabbed my arms saying, "Wow girl you got really really thick! You have been eating a lot, haven't you? You used to be thin!"And I did not really respond she is just this little old lady but it triggered in me all the old stuff, the shame, feeling like an utter loser cause I cant keep thin, mostly shame though, and feeling like, wow have I gotten "that" bad? I need to diet. ASAP. I really need some encouragement right now bccause I am fighting major tears here at my desk at work. :(Jenna

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