Re: Just how delusional do BPD mom's get?

[Guest guest]

Although one of the criteria for diagnosing bpd is " Transient, stress-related

paranoid ideation (thoughts) delusions or severe dissociative symptoms " the key

point is " stress-related. " Its not typical for the person with bpd to display

delusional thinking when she's not particularly stressed.

I think the child's mother may just be deeply in denial and rather narcissistic

as well as bpd; but I suppose its possible that if the mother sincerely believes

what she told her child (this new man I just met is your biological father, so

call him " dad " ) she might have either (a) sub-normal intelligence or ( one of

the delusional disorders like schizophrenia.

I'm no psychologist, this is just my amateur, personal opinion.

-Annie

> >

> > Hello All-

> >

> > Okay, so our wonderful foster daughter () told me the other day her BPD

mom () insisted that every boyfriend she ever had for more than a few days

be called " dad " .

> >

> > Not just as a formality, but because truly believed that every one of

these guys was the 's biological father.

> >

> > WTF?

> >

> > When pointed out this was physically impossible, her mom flew into

rages.

> >

> > Has anyone experienced this level of delusion in their BPD mom, or is there

something else going on here?

> >

> > Letty

> >

>

[Guest guest]

((((((elora)))))

I think your mother probably had/has more than just bpd. Something in the

paranoid or delusional disorder category. But I'm no professional, that's just

me speculating as a KO and reader of material on mental illnesses. I think that

your mother was clearly too disturbed to have been raising a child; I'm so sorry

you weren't rescued from that inappropriate situation.

The system seems to me to be very broken when kids are just allowed to live with

severely mentally ill, delusional parents who could easily and casually kill

their child on a whim. Then all that happens is that another " tragic accidental

child death " is added to the statistics. Its just wrong.

-Annie

>

> They can get nuttier than a fruit cake.

>

> My mother beleived when I was 11 that I was out to get her " boyfriend " (who

was in his 40s and had bad oral and physical hygeine, not to mention that he was

a complete loser) and that I was seducing him and wanted to knock her off for

the insurance $$

>

> She tried to kill me one night because she thought she saw me with my

nightgown over my head shaking my booty.

>

> She beleived that our dog was posessed by the devil (I loved that dog) and had

him put down.

>

> She thought my father was cheating on her and tried to frame him for attempted

murder by firing his service revolver through my bedroom window.

>

> She beleived, even after my stepfather finally left her that he was trying to

kill her from 4 provinces away.

>

> She tried to tell me that my husband was cheating on me, and he came to

confide in her one night and hit on her while he was away on course. *facepalm*

>

> They create their own reality.

[Guest guest]

((((((elora)))))

I think your mother probably had/has more than just bpd. Something in the

paranoid or delusional disorder category. But I'm no professional, that's just

me speculating as a KO and reader of material on mental illnesses. I think that

your mother was clearly too disturbed to have been raising a child; I'm so sorry

you weren't rescued from that inappropriate situation.

The system seems to me to be very broken when kids are just allowed to live with

severely mentally ill, delusional parents who could easily and casually kill

their child on a whim. Then all that happens is that another " tragic accidental

child death " is added to the statistics. Its just wrong.

-Annie

>

> They can get nuttier than a fruit cake.

>

> My mother beleived when I was 11 that I was out to get her " boyfriend " (who

was in his 40s and had bad oral and physical hygeine, not to mention that he was

a complete loser) and that I was seducing him and wanted to knock her off for

the insurance $$

>

> She tried to kill me one night because she thought she saw me with my

nightgown over my head shaking my booty.

>

> She beleived that our dog was posessed by the devil (I loved that dog) and had

him put down.

>

> She thought my father was cheating on her and tried to frame him for attempted

murder by firing his service revolver through my bedroom window.

>

> She beleived, even after my stepfather finally left her that he was trying to

kill her from 4 provinces away.

>

> She tried to tell me that my husband was cheating on me, and he came to

confide in her one night and hit on her while he was away on course. *facepalm*

>

> They create their own reality.

[Guest guest]

MIne says and does some pretty strange things too. I guess they could be called

" delusional. " Her claims to have had cancer 5 times but never had any chemo or

radiation. That seems biologically impossible. How about her claim to have

worked for the FBI just one night spying on the Mafia?

Or more recently, after my Dad died we worked very hard to handle all the

paperwork, finances, insurance, etc. that comes after a death. Got all the money

in order and in accounts that bring in a decent income for her each month. She

sat around during those 6 months or so smoking and bitching about my Dad. Now

she says she's amazed at how good she is with money, she has so much money now

because she knows how to save. Yoohoo - what about the months of phone calls and

emails and paperwork we dealt with just so she could have money in her accounts?

Guess she forgot about all that.

>

> Hello All-

>

> Okay, so our wonderful foster daughter () told me the other day her BPD

mom () insisted that every boyfriend she ever had for more than a few days

be called " dad " .

>

> Not just as a formality, but because truly believed that every one of

these guys was the 's biological father.

>

> WTF?

>

> When pointed out this was physically impossible, her mom flew into

rages.

>

> Has anyone experienced this level of delusion in their BPD mom, or is there

something else going on here?

>

> Letty

>

[Guest guest]

MIne says and does some pretty strange things too. I guess they could be called

" delusional. " Her claims to have had cancer 5 times but never had any chemo or

radiation. That seems biologically impossible. How about her claim to have

worked for the FBI just one night spying on the Mafia?

Or more recently, after my Dad died we worked very hard to handle all the

paperwork, finances, insurance, etc. that comes after a death. Got all the money

in order and in accounts that bring in a decent income for her each month. She

sat around during those 6 months or so smoking and bitching about my Dad. Now

she says she's amazed at how good she is with money, she has so much money now

because she knows how to save. Yoohoo - what about the months of phone calls and

emails and paperwork we dealt with just so she could have money in her accounts?

Guess she forgot about all that.

>

> Hello All-

>

> Okay, so our wonderful foster daughter () told me the other day her BPD

mom () insisted that every boyfriend she ever had for more than a few days

be called " dad " .

>

> Not just as a formality, but because truly believed that every one of

these guys was the 's biological father.

>

> WTF?

>

> When pointed out this was physically impossible, her mom flew into

rages.

>

> Has anyone experienced this level of delusion in their BPD mom, or is there

something else going on here?

>

> Letty

>

[Guest guest]

Katrina,

When I was a child, my nada implied that her boyfriend at the time was my

father, that they had met many years before my birth. I didn't know what to

think, I was too young I guess. And I already had parents: my nada's mother and

father raised me. I only found out she was my " real " mother, and not my sister,

when I was six.

Then, when I was a bit older, she married a Frenchman. She quickly started

hinting that he was my biological father, that they had met in Africa, where she

lived for a few years, one year before my birth. I was not too happy about that

as I didn't like the guy (he was a psychopath) and I didn't want to have French

blood running in my veins! (I'm from Canada, not France).

When I was 15, she then told me that her first love was probably my father. He

was her cousin... I could not see any resemblance with him and decided then that

she was full of it. Anyway, I didn't need a biological father as I already had a

dad: my grandfather, who I adored.

So... was she just trying to convince me when she was saying those things or was

she so delusional that she believed her lies? One has to wonder.

> At 01:24 PM 08/26/2010 lettydale wrote:

> >Hello All-

> >

> >Okay, so our wonderful foster daughter () told me the

> >other day her BPD mom () insisted that every boyfriend she

> >ever had for more than a few days be called " dad " .

> >

> >Not just as a formality, but because truly believed that

> >every one of these guys was the 's biological father.

> >

> >WTF?

> >

> >When pointed out this was physically impossible, her mom

> >flew into rages.

> >

> >Has anyone experienced this level of delusion in their BPD mom,

> >or is there something else going on here?

> >

> >Letty

>

> --

> Katrina

[Guest guest]

Thanks to all who responded.

A. - so interesting to me that you went through the exact same thing as

our " " did. Though I'm very sorry for your sake that you did. Yours sounds

even worse in a way - the claims spread far enough apart as to seem almost

plausible. At least in " 's " case, her mom's churning through boyfriends

made the claims fishy even to a small child.

Annie and -

Thanks for the advice. In our state " " can petition to have us become her

legal guardians once she turns 14 next year. If all goes well, we could get a

state-sponsored permanent guardianship and she would still be eligible for

health care and benefits.

However, as her foster parents we are not supposed to influence her in any way

in that decision. Technically, we are supposed to be completely neutral about

the situation, and open to the possibility of her willingly returning to her

mom.

Her therapist warns us that these situations can be " sticky " and kids can

sometimes surprise you by returning to the parents who abuse them, since that

bond is so hard to break.

My husband feels she's already given up on her mom and is looking elsewhere for

love and to build a future.

I worry that her over-developed sense of moral responsibility and her extreme

compassion for others might make her feel she has to take care of her mom at the

sacrifice to her own feelings.

Then again, she's happily settling into and furnishing her bedroom, and

regularly talks of things we'll all do together in the next year, ten years,

fifty years from now.

Letty

> > >

> > >

> > > Wow. Okay. Thought I might hear some hard stories, but wow.

> > >

> > > Elora, don't even know how you survived all that insanity. My heart aches

for you. And the part about the dog is just the evil icing on the cake.

Seriously, a DOG possessed by the devil? I wish you had a way-back machine and

could snatch yourself out of there.

> > >

> > > And , interesting how it didn't occur to her that if you really

had " black magic " powers you'd use them to get the hell out?

> > >

> > > Some people really, really shouldn't have children. And yet it's so damn

hard to get those children away, even if they are desperate to go. had

only known us for ONE DAY before she decided that she'd much rather live with us

than her mom.

> > >

> > > Yet we might have to send back to her mom some day, if the court

orders it. Apparently the mom has gotten her psychiatrist and domestic violence

counselor to write notes saying how it's in the mom's " best interests " to be

reunited with her child.

> > >

> > > Meanwhile, she's gloating to about how she's going to " fool

everybody " and get back, then reunite with the guy who tried to kill her

and . (Elora, if you suddenly have fugitive neighbors in Canada, it'll be

us running north with to protect her from her mom! Note: I'm kidding about

that. Mostly.)

> > >

> > > Why is there this obsession with biological parent's rights? Why can they

hurt children over and over again without getting punished or caught? SO many of

the things 's mother has done would result in a jail time if you did them

to a stranger's child.

> > >

> > >

> > > Letty

> >

>