Re: a step back to move forward

November 9, 2010

Yes exactly! I have experienced the same. The great thing is that with IE when we have an episode like this it leads to deeper understanding instead of to a session of self criticism like it would on a diet. I'm understanding more of what Geneen means about food being a doorway... JodySent from my iPhone

Hi,

I had a really 'bad' afternoon yesterday. It started at noon, I ate my normal lunch & then was watching tv while my grandson was napping & I just started to MINDLESSLY eat taco chips & chocolate. I couldn't stop. It was like some 'monster' had control of me. It lasted 3 hours & then it miraculously stopped. When I looked back to try to figure out what was going on for me. I realized that Monday from 12:30 - 4 my mom used to come over & visit me. She passed suddenly this May & obviously, I'm still really missing her. lots of times I don't know what day it is & then I feel the emptiness in my body & it is one of the 3 days that she used to be here.

Once, I had figured out why I had reached so unconsciously for the food I realized that NO amount of food will ever fill that space so I hope that next time I will remember THAT instead of reaching mindlessly to fill up what cannot be filled up with food. I need to FEEL the pain of losing my mom right at that time & know that NOTHING else will satisfy the emptiness that I feel.

The journey to IE IS long & winding path with many twists & turns BUT somehow, my emotions seem to provide some sort of map for getting to where I am going. I need to listen to them more closely because they are telling me where I need to turn.

mj

November 9, 2010

Yes exactly! I have experienced the same. The great thing is that with IE when we have an episode like this it leads to deeper understanding instead of to a session of self criticism like it would on a diet. I'm understanding more of what Geneen means about food being a doorway... JodySent from my iPhone

Hi,

I had a really 'bad' afternoon yesterday. It started at noon, I ate my normal lunch & then was watching tv while my grandson was napping & I just started to MINDLESSLY eat taco chips & chocolate. I couldn't stop. It was like some 'monster' had control of me. It lasted 3 hours & then it miraculously stopped. When I looked back to try to figure out what was going on for me. I realized that Monday from 12:30 - 4 my mom used to come over & visit me. She passed suddenly this May & obviously, I'm still really missing her. lots of times I don't know what day it is & then I feel the emptiness in my body & it is one of the 3 days that she used to be here.

Once, I had figured out why I had reached so unconsciously for the food I realized that NO amount of food will ever fill that space so I hope that next time I will remember THAT instead of reaching mindlessly to fill up what cannot be filled up with food. I need to FEEL the pain of losing my mom right at that time & know that NOTHING else will satisfy the emptiness that I feel.

The journey to IE IS long & winding path with many twists & turns BUT somehow, my emotions seem to provide some sort of map for getting to where I am going. I need to listen to them more closely because they are telling me where I need to turn.

mj

November 9, 2010

Hi Everyone,

This is my 1st post/introduction. But some of you might know me from the WFG yahoo support group I am active in as well. I am supposed to introduce myself as per the group leader's request. And MJ your post I could really relate to right away. Since being on this IE journey feelings surfaced of delayed grief from my mother's passing 4 yrs ago. And many pounds later, I am figuring out that I am eating and stuffing my feelings down. It has been such a struggle to discover those feelings and ALLOW my painful childhood feelings to surface as well. I was sexually abused by my father as a child, and grew up poor with very little food in the house. The food bank was an event I so looked forward to. And although I can afford to eat anything I want now as an adult, I am figuring out I eat in excess to make up for a childhood of deprovation. ONLY AFTER NOT DIETING ANYMORE, WAS THAT REVLATION ABLE TO SURFACE.

I am grateful to this IE journey, however this is far harder than the sexual abuse recovery for me (hard to believe right). I feel as though currently where I am at right now, I have taken 3 steps back to my 1 step forward.

I look forward to reading and sharing with you all on this difficult journey.

a

>> Hi,> > I had a really 'bad' afternoon yesterday. It started at noon, I ate my normal lunch & then was watching tv while my grandson was napping & I just started to MINDLESSLY eat taco chips & chocolate. I couldn't stop. It was like some 'monster' had control of me. It lasted 3 hours & then it miraculously stopped. When I looked back to try to figure out what was going on for me. I realized that Monday from 12:30 - 4 my mom used to come over & visit me. She passed suddenly this May & obviously, I'm still really missing her. lots of times I don't know what day it is & then I feel the emptiness in my body & it is one of the 3 days that she used to be here.> > Once, I had figured out why I had reached so unconsciously for the food I realized that NO amount of food will ever fill that space so I hope that next time I will remember THAT instead of reaching mindlessly to fill up what cannot be filled up with food. I need to FEEL the pain of losing my mom right at that time & know that NOTHING else will satisfy the emptiness that I feel.> > The journey to IE IS long & winding path with many twists & turns BUT somehow, my emotions seem to provide some sort of map for getting to where I am going. I need to listen to them more closely because they are telling me where I need to turn. > > mj>

November 9, 2010

Hi Everyone,

This is my 1st post/introduction. But some of you might know me from the WFG yahoo support group I am active in as well. I am supposed to introduce myself as per the group leader's request. And MJ your post I could really relate to right away. Since being on this IE journey feelings surfaced of delayed grief from my mother's passing 4 yrs ago. And many pounds later, I am figuring out that I am eating and stuffing my feelings down. It has been such a struggle to discover those feelings and ALLOW my painful childhood feelings to surface as well. I was sexually abused by my father as a child, and grew up poor with very little food in the house. The food bank was an event I so looked forward to. And although I can afford to eat anything I want now as an adult, I am figuring out I eat in excess to make up for a childhood of deprovation. ONLY AFTER NOT DIETING ANYMORE, WAS THAT REVLATION ABLE TO SURFACE.

I am grateful to this IE journey, however this is far harder than the sexual abuse recovery for me (hard to believe right). I feel as though currently where I am at right now, I have taken 3 steps back to my 1 step forward.

I look forward to reading and sharing with you all on this difficult journey.

a

>> Hi,> > I had a really 'bad' afternoon yesterday. It started at noon, I ate my normal lunch & then was watching tv while my grandson was napping & I just started to MINDLESSLY eat taco chips & chocolate. I couldn't stop. It was like some 'monster' had control of me. It lasted 3 hours & then it miraculously stopped. When I looked back to try to figure out what was going on for me. I realized that Monday from 12:30 - 4 my mom used to come over & visit me. She passed suddenly this May & obviously, I'm still really missing her. lots of times I don't know what day it is & then I feel the emptiness in my body & it is one of the 3 days that she used to be here.> > Once, I had figured out why I had reached so unconsciously for the food I realized that NO amount of food will ever fill that space so I hope that next time I will remember THAT instead of reaching mindlessly to fill up what cannot be filled up with food. I need to FEEL the pain of losing my mom right at that time & know that NOTHING else will satisfy the emptiness that I feel.> > The journey to IE IS long & winding path with many twists & turns BUT somehow, my emotions seem to provide some sort of map for getting to where I am going. I need to listen to them more closely because they are telling me where I need to turn. > > mj>

November 9, 2010

Hi Everyone,

This is my 1st post/introduction. But some of you might know me from the WFG yahoo support group I am active in as well. I am supposed to introduce myself as per the group leader's request. And MJ your post I could really relate to right away. Since being on this IE journey feelings surfaced of delayed grief from my mother's passing 4 yrs ago. And many pounds later, I am figuring out that I am eating and stuffing my feelings down. It has been such a struggle to discover those feelings and ALLOW my painful childhood feelings to surface as well. I was sexually abused by my father as a child, and grew up poor with very little food in the house. The food bank was an event I so looked forward to. And although I can afford to eat anything I want now as an adult, I am figuring out I eat in excess to make up for a childhood of deprovation. ONLY AFTER NOT DIETING ANYMORE, WAS THAT REVLATION ABLE TO SURFACE.

I am grateful to this IE journey, however this is far harder than the sexual abuse recovery for me (hard to believe right). I feel as though currently where I am at right now, I have taken 3 steps back to my 1 step forward.

I look forward to reading and sharing with you all on this difficult journey.

a

>> Hi,> > I had a really 'bad' afternoon yesterday. It started at noon, I ate my normal lunch & then was watching tv while my grandson was napping & I just started to MINDLESSLY eat taco chips & chocolate. I couldn't stop. It was like some 'monster' had control of me. It lasted 3 hours & then it miraculously stopped. When I looked back to try to figure out what was going on for me. I realized that Monday from 12:30 - 4 my mom used to come over & visit me. She passed suddenly this May & obviously, I'm still really missing her. lots of times I don't know what day it is & then I feel the emptiness in my body & it is one of the 3 days that she used to be here.> > Once, I had figured out why I had reached so unconsciously for the food I realized that NO amount of food will ever fill that space so I hope that next time I will remember THAT instead of reaching mindlessly to fill up what cannot be filled up with food. I need to FEEL the pain of losing my mom right at that time & know that NOTHING else will satisfy the emptiness that I feel.> > The journey to IE IS long & winding path with many twists & turns BUT somehow, my emotions seem to provide some sort of map for getting to where I am going. I need to listen to them more closely because they are telling me where I need to turn. > > mj>

November 9, 2010

Wow, great insight, mj. I bet next time this happens you'll be able to stop it

now that you know the source. Good for you for digging deep.

Josie

>

> Hi,

>

> I had a really 'bad' afternoon yesterday. It started at noon, I ate my normal

lunch & then was watching tv while my grandson was napping & I just started to

MINDLESSLY eat taco chips & chocolate. I couldn't stop. It was like some

'monster' had control of me. It lasted 3 hours & then it miraculously stopped.

When I looked back to try to figure out what was going on for me. I realized

that Monday from 12:30 - 4 my mom used to come over & visit me. She passed

suddenly this May & obviously, I'm still really missing her. lots of times I

don't know what day it is & then I feel the emptiness in my body & it is one of

the 3 days that she used to be here.

>

> Once, I had figured out why I had reached so unconsciously for the food I

realized that NO amount of food will ever fill that space so I hope that next

time I will remember THAT instead of reaching mindlessly to fill up what cannot

be filled up with food. I need to FEEL the pain of losing my mom right at that

time & know that NOTHING else will satisfy the emptiness that I feel.

>

> The journey to IE IS long & winding path with many twists & turns BUT somehow,

my emotions seem to provide some sort of map for getting to where I am going. I

need to listen to them more closely because they are telling me where I need to

turn.

>

> mj

>

November 9, 2010

Hello a,

welcome to the group. It is good to have you here. Thank you for posting &

sharing with us. I find that for many of us the backgrounds are so familiar

because there are so many common " issues " . The support from the members of

these groups is/has been so key to my continued recovery. I am so grateful that

people are so willing to share at such personal levels. Thank you again for

sharing.

mj

> >

> > Hi,

> >

> > I had a really 'bad' afternoon yesterday. It started at noon, I ate my

> normal lunch & then was watching tv while my grandson was napping & I

> just started to MINDLESSLY eat taco chips & chocolate. I couldn't stop.

> It was like some 'monster' had control of me. It lasted 3 hours & then

> it miraculously stopped. When I looked back to try to figure out what

> was going on for me. I realized that Monday from 12:30 - 4 my mom used

> to come over & visit me. She passed suddenly this May & obviously, I'm

> still really missing her. lots of times I don't know what day it is &

> then I feel the emptiness in my body & it is one of the 3 days that she

> used to be here.

> >

> > Once, I had figured out why I had reached so unconsciously for the

> food I realized that NO amount of food will ever fill that space so I

> hope that next time I will remember THAT instead of reaching mindlessly

> to fill up what cannot be filled up with food. I need to FEEL the pain

> of losing my mom right at that time & know that NOTHING else will

> satisfy the emptiness that I feel.

> >

> > The journey to IE IS long & winding path with many twists & turns BUT

> somehow, my emotions seem to provide some sort of map for getting to

> where I am going. I need to listen to them more closely because they are

> telling me where I need to turn.

> >

> > mj

> >

>

November 9, 2010