Guest guest Posted August 21, 2010 Report Share Posted August 21, 2010 I usually respond to sentiments like this as, " Well, yes, most of the time; ideally, that is what happens. That is what we all hope will happen. " But this reminds me of another saying, that goes something like, " That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger " and while that sounds plausible and hopeful on first reading, I've always thought, " Well, gee, you know, sometimes that which doesn't kill us can still leave us maimed for life. I don't think of just barely surviving total emotional annihilation as " stronger " , I guess. " Kind of a downer, I realize, but I guess I'm not feeling very cheerful today. -Annie > > > > Can anyone identify the moment they " grew up? " > > > > I'm reading the Road Less Traveled. Scot Peck talks about how he grew up and > > left behind his parent's expectations for what he would be. In his case, he > > was 15 and left boarding school against his parent's wishes. > > > > I think as KOs we are molded to enable our Nada's sickness and given > > specific roles within the family. To shrug off these roles and walk away > > from it because we want to lead our own lives is to grow up. > > > > In my case, I know the exact moment I grew up. I was 28 (old, I know) and I > > decided to divorce my ass of a husband. This was something of a sin > > according to the FOO and I knew my relationship would never be the same with > > them. But I did it anyway. My FOO said the expected HORRRIBLE things, and I > > have not really seen them since. I've seen them a few times, but I never did > > pick my role and job in the family back up again. > > > > Anyone else have this growing up experience? I prepped for it for months, > > knowing I would be alone. But I didn't realize what a blessing the aloneness > > would bring. I was scared. But I have LOVED it! > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2010 Report Share Posted August 21, 2010 I think I left home at 18 and stuffed everything deep down and just went on. and then I ended back around them and i had to go through it with feeling. and it has helped me realize it was way worse than I remembered it. and I won't go through the rest of my life with this gray sludge of not understanding them or exactly what it was I survived growing up. I don't think I was grown up then even though I wholly rejected everything they'd taught me. I just had it stuffed down but they had some authority. but I am not sure I am 'grown up' yet. I have had very little success in my adult life and maybe I define that as being grown up, when I feel i am somewhat successful. I don't know. > > Can anyone identify the moment they " grew up? " > > I'm reading the Road Less Traveled. Scot Peck talks about how he grew up and > left behind his parent's expectations for what he would be. In his case, he > was 15 and left boarding school against his parent's wishes. > > I think as KOs we are molded to enable our Nada's sickness and given > specific roles within the family. To shrug off these roles and walk away > from it because we want to lead our own lives is to grow up. > > In my case, I know the exact moment I grew up. I was 28 (old, I know) and I > decided to divorce my ass of a husband. This was something of a sin > according to the FOO and I knew my relationship would never be the same with > them. But I did it anyway. My FOO said the expected HORRRIBLE things, and I > have not really seen them since. I've seen them a few times, but I never did > pick my role and job in the family back up again. > > Anyone else have this growing up experience? I prepped for it for months, > knowing I would be alone. But I didn't realize what a blessing the aloneness > would bring. I was scared. But I have LOVED it! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2010 Report Share Posted August 21, 2010 I think I left home at 18 and stuffed everything deep down and just went on. and then I ended back around them and i had to go through it with feeling. and it has helped me realize it was way worse than I remembered it. and I won't go through the rest of my life with this gray sludge of not understanding them or exactly what it was I survived growing up. I don't think I was grown up then even though I wholly rejected everything they'd taught me. I just had it stuffed down but they had some authority. but I am not sure I am 'grown up' yet. I have had very little success in my adult life and maybe I define that as being grown up, when I feel i am somewhat successful. I don't know. > > Can anyone identify the moment they " grew up? " > > I'm reading the Road Less Traveled. Scot Peck talks about how he grew up and > left behind his parent's expectations for what he would be. In his case, he > was 15 and left boarding school against his parent's wishes. > > I think as KOs we are molded to enable our Nada's sickness and given > specific roles within the family. To shrug off these roles and walk away > from it because we want to lead our own lives is to grow up. > > In my case, I know the exact moment I grew up. I was 28 (old, I know) and I > decided to divorce my ass of a husband. This was something of a sin > according to the FOO and I knew my relationship would never be the same with > them. But I did it anyway. My FOO said the expected HORRRIBLE things, and I > have not really seen them since. I've seen them a few times, but I never did > pick my role and job in the family back up again. > > Anyone else have this growing up experience? I prepped for it for months, > knowing I would be alone. But I didn't realize what a blessing the aloneness > would bring. I was scared. But I have LOVED it! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2010 Report Share Posted August 21, 2010 I think I left home at 18 and stuffed everything deep down and just went on. and then I ended back around them and i had to go through it with feeling. and it has helped me realize it was way worse than I remembered it. and I won't go through the rest of my life with this gray sludge of not understanding them or exactly what it was I survived growing up. I don't think I was grown up then even though I wholly rejected everything they'd taught me. I just had it stuffed down but they had some authority. but I am not sure I am 'grown up' yet. I have had very little success in my adult life and maybe I define that as being grown up, when I feel i am somewhat successful. I don't know. > > Can anyone identify the moment they " grew up? " > > I'm reading the Road Less Traveled. Scot Peck talks about how he grew up and > left behind his parent's expectations for what he would be. In his case, he > was 15 and left boarding school against his parent's wishes. > > I think as KOs we are molded to enable our Nada's sickness and given > specific roles within the family. To shrug off these roles and walk away > from it because we want to lead our own lives is to grow up. > > In my case, I know the exact moment I grew up. I was 28 (old, I know) and I > decided to divorce my ass of a husband. This was something of a sin > according to the FOO and I knew my relationship would never be the same with > them. But I did it anyway. My FOO said the expected HORRRIBLE things, and I > have not really seen them since. I've seen them a few times, but I never did > pick my role and job in the family back up again. > > Anyone else have this growing up experience? I prepped for it for months, > knowing I would be alone. But I didn't realize what a blessing the aloneness > would bring. I was scared. But I have LOVED it! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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