Guest guest Posted August 20, 2010 Report Share Posted August 20, 2010 I'll let you know when it happens for me. > > Can anyone identify the moment they " grew up? " > > I'm reading the Road Less Traveled. Scot Peck talks about how he grew up and > left behind his parent's expectations for what he would be. In his case, he > was 15 and left boarding school against his parent's wishes. > > I think as KOs we are molded to enable our Nada's sickness and given > specific roles within the family. To shrug off these roles and walk away > from it because we want to lead our own lives is to grow up. > > In my case, I know the exact moment I grew up. I was 28 (old, I know) and I > decided to divorce my ass of a husband. This was something of a sin > according to the FOO and I knew my relationship would never be the same with > them. But I did it anyway. My FOO said the expected HORRRIBLE things, and I > have not really seen them since. I've seen them a few times, but I never did > pick my role and job in the family back up again. > > Anyone else have this growing up experience? I prepped for it for months, > knowing I would be alone. But I didn't realize what a blessing the aloneness > would bring. I was scared. But I have LOVED it! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 2010 Report Share Posted August 20, 2010 I'll let you know when it happens for me. > > Can anyone identify the moment they " grew up? " > > I'm reading the Road Less Traveled. Scot Peck talks about how he grew up and > left behind his parent's expectations for what he would be. In his case, he > was 15 and left boarding school against his parent's wishes. > > I think as KOs we are molded to enable our Nada's sickness and given > specific roles within the family. To shrug off these roles and walk away > from it because we want to lead our own lives is to grow up. > > In my case, I know the exact moment I grew up. I was 28 (old, I know) and I > decided to divorce my ass of a husband. This was something of a sin > according to the FOO and I knew my relationship would never be the same with > them. But I did it anyway. My FOO said the expected HORRRIBLE things, and I > have not really seen them since. I've seen them a few times, but I never did > pick my role and job in the family back up again. > > Anyone else have this growing up experience? I prepped for it for months, > knowing I would be alone. But I didn't realize what a blessing the aloneness > would bring. I was scared. But I have LOVED it! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 2010 Report Share Posted August 20, 2010 I'll let you know when it happens for me. > > Can anyone identify the moment they " grew up? " > > I'm reading the Road Less Traveled. Scot Peck talks about how he grew up and > left behind his parent's expectations for what he would be. In his case, he > was 15 and left boarding school against his parent's wishes. > > I think as KOs we are molded to enable our Nada's sickness and given > specific roles within the family. To shrug off these roles and walk away > from it because we want to lead our own lives is to grow up. > > In my case, I know the exact moment I grew up. I was 28 (old, I know) and I > decided to divorce my ass of a husband. This was something of a sin > according to the FOO and I knew my relationship would never be the same with > them. But I did it anyway. My FOO said the expected HORRRIBLE things, and I > have not really seen them since. I've seen them a few times, but I never did > pick my role and job in the family back up again. > > Anyone else have this growing up experience? I prepped for it for months, > knowing I would be alone. But I didn't realize what a blessing the aloneness > would bring. I was scared. But I have LOVED it! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 2010 Report Share Posted August 20, 2010 ha ha ha, victoria sounds like a good story! On Fri, Aug 20, 2010 at 4:14 PM, S. wrote: > > > I'll let you know the answer to that question, when I am not > embarrassed by the answer. > > Groan. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 2010 Report Share Posted August 20, 2010 ha ha ha, victoria sounds like a good story! On Fri, Aug 20, 2010 at 4:14 PM, S. wrote: > > > I'll let you know the answer to that question, when I am not > embarrassed by the answer. > > Groan. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 2010 Report Share Posted August 20, 2010 ha ha ha, victoria sounds like a good story! On Fri, Aug 20, 2010 at 4:14 PM, S. wrote: > > > I'll let you know the answer to that question, when I am not > embarrassed by the answer. > > Groan. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 2010 Report Share Posted August 20, 2010 maybe victoria was the daughter in the dear abby column? Ha ha, just teasing!! On Fri, Aug 20, 2010 at 4:11 PM, Girlscout Cowboy < girlscout.cowboy@...> wrote: > ha ha ha, victoria sounds like a good story! > > On Fri, Aug 20, 2010 at 4:14 PM, S. wrote: > >> >> >> I'll let you know the answer to that question, when I am not >> embarrassed by the answer. >> >> Groan. >> >> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 2010 Report Share Posted August 20, 2010 maybe victoria was the daughter in the dear abby column? Ha ha, just teasing!! On Fri, Aug 20, 2010 at 4:11 PM, Girlscout Cowboy < girlscout.cowboy@...> wrote: > ha ha ha, victoria sounds like a good story! > > On Fri, Aug 20, 2010 at 4:14 PM, S. wrote: > >> >> >> I'll let you know the answer to that question, when I am not >> embarrassed by the answer. >> >> Groan. >> >> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 2010 Report Share Posted August 20, 2010 I'll let you know the answer to that question, when I am not embarrassed by the answer. Groan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 2010 Report Share Posted August 20, 2010 I'll let you know the answer to that question, when I am not embarrassed by the answer. Groan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 2010 Report Share Posted August 20, 2010 I'll let you know the answer to that question, when I am not embarrassed by the answer. Groan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2010 Report Share Posted August 21, 2010 I usually respond to sentiments like this as, " Well, yes, most of the time; ideally, that is what happens. That is what we all hope will happen. " But this reminds me of another saying, that goes something like, " That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger " and while that sounds plausible and hopeful on first reading, I've always thought, " Well, gee, you know, sometimes that which doesn't kill us can still leave us maimed for life. I don't think of just barely surviving total emotional annihilation as " stronger " , I guess. " Kind of a downer, I realize, but I guess I'm not feeling very cheerful today. -Annie > > > > Can anyone identify the moment they " grew up? " > > > > I'm reading the Road Less Traveled. Scot Peck talks about how he grew up and > > left behind his parent's expectations for what he would be. In his case, he > > was 15 and left boarding school against his parent's wishes. > > > > I think as KOs we are molded to enable our Nada's sickness and given > > specific roles within the family. To shrug off these roles and walk away > > from it because we want to lead our own lives is to grow up. > > > > In my case, I know the exact moment I grew up. I was 28 (old, I know) and I > > decided to divorce my ass of a husband. This was something of a sin > > according to the FOO and I knew my relationship would never be the same with > > them. But I did it anyway. My FOO said the expected HORRRIBLE things, and I > > have not really seen them since. I've seen them a few times, but I never did > > pick my role and job in the family back up again. > > > > Anyone else have this growing up experience? I prepped for it for months, > > knowing I would be alone. But I didn't realize what a blessing the aloneness > > would bring. I was scared. But I have LOVED it! > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 25, 2010 Report Share Posted August 25, 2010 In a sense I feel like I was always an adult, but that I still haven't grown up. I've always sort of had an " old spirit " , I think living with my nada forced me to be an adult in many ways. But at the same time, I still feel like I'm " faking " my way through actual adulthood. Casey > > Can anyone identify the moment they " grew up? " > > I'm reading the Road Less Traveled. Scot Peck talks about how he grew up and > left behind his parent's expectations for what he would be. In his case, he > was 15 and left boarding school against his parent's wishes. > > I think as KOs we are molded to enable our Nada's sickness and given > specific roles within the family. To shrug off these roles and walk away > from it because we want to lead our own lives is to grow up. > > In my case, I know the exact moment I grew up. I was 28 (old, I know) and I > decided to divorce my ass of a husband. This was something of a sin > according to the FOO and I knew my relationship would never be the same with > them. But I did it anyway. My FOO said the expected HORRRIBLE things, and I > have not really seen them since. I've seen them a few times, but I never did > pick my role and job in the family back up again. > > Anyone else have this growing up experience? I prepped for it for months, > knowing I would be alone. But I didn't realize what a blessing the aloneness > would bring. I was scared. But I have LOVED it! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 30, 2010 Report Share Posted August 30, 2010 yes i agree it is really tough to 'grow up when we were faced with the tasks not of being children cared for by our parents but forced into the adult role and trying to take care of them instead... no wonder we end up knowing so little about ourselves nor having much opportunity to really 'grow up'.. it is still a dilemma to me today, making choices and trying to decide if something really is a good fit for me or not.. i try to pay attention to the little things that make me happy.. even as small as a certain color i might find i prefer and going ahead and choosing that for some of my clothes and other things.. becoming aware of what really excites me from the inside what really 'turns me on' and then trying to follow that lead with some action and see how i feel afterwards.  it's a process like the growing we didn't have a chance to do while we were children, but i find that slowly, step by step we can 'grow' ourselves and discover who we truly are inside..best wishes on your journey,ann Subject: Re: growing up To: WTOAdultChildren1 Date: Wednesday, August 25, 2010, 12:18 PM  In a sense I feel like I was always an adult, but that I still haven't grown up. I've always sort of had an " old spirit " , I think living with my nada forced me to be an adult in many ways. But at the same time, I still feel like I'm " faking " my way through actual adulthood. Casey > > Can anyone identify the moment they " grew up? " > > I'm reading the Road Less Traveled. Scot Peck talks about how he grew up and > left behind his parent's expectations for what he would be. In his case, he > was 15 and left boarding school against his parent's wishes. > > I think as KOs we are molded to enable our Nada's sickness and given > specific roles within the family. To shrug off these roles and walk away > from it because we want to lead our own lives is to grow up. > > In my case, I know the exact moment I grew up. I was 28 (old, I know) and I > decided to divorce my ass of a husband. This was something of a sin > according to the FOO and I knew my relationship would never be the same with > them. But I did it anyway. My FOO said the expected HORRRIBLE things, and I > have not really seen them since. I've seen them a few times, but I never did > pick my role and job in the family back up again. > > Anyone else have this growing up experience? I prepped for it for months, > knowing I would be alone. But I didn't realize what a blessing the aloneness > would bring. I was scared. But I have LOVED it! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 30, 2010 Report Share Posted August 30, 2010 yes i agree it is really tough to 'grow up when we were faced with the tasks not of being children cared for by our parents but forced into the adult role and trying to take care of them instead... no wonder we end up knowing so little about ourselves nor having much opportunity to really 'grow up'.. it is still a dilemma to me today, making choices and trying to decide if something really is a good fit for me or not.. i try to pay attention to the little things that make me happy.. even as small as a certain color i might find i prefer and going ahead and choosing that for some of my clothes and other things.. becoming aware of what really excites me from the inside what really 'turns me on' and then trying to follow that lead with some action and see how i feel afterwards.  it's a process like the growing we didn't have a chance to do while we were children, but i find that slowly, step by step we can 'grow' ourselves and discover who we truly are inside..best wishes on your journey,ann Subject: Re: growing up To: WTOAdultChildren1 Date: Wednesday, August 25, 2010, 12:18 PM  In a sense I feel like I was always an adult, but that I still haven't grown up. I've always sort of had an " old spirit " , I think living with my nada forced me to be an adult in many ways. But at the same time, I still feel like I'm " faking " my way through actual adulthood. Casey > > Can anyone identify the moment they " grew up? " > > I'm reading the Road Less Traveled. Scot Peck talks about how he grew up and > left behind his parent's expectations for what he would be. In his case, he > was 15 and left boarding school against his parent's wishes. > > I think as KOs we are molded to enable our Nada's sickness and given > specific roles within the family. To shrug off these roles and walk away > from it because we want to lead our own lives is to grow up. > > In my case, I know the exact moment I grew up. I was 28 (old, I know) and I > decided to divorce my ass of a husband. This was something of a sin > according to the FOO and I knew my relationship would never be the same with > them. But I did it anyway. My FOO said the expected HORRRIBLE things, and I > have not really seen them since. I've seen them a few times, but I never did > pick my role and job in the family back up again. > > Anyone else have this growing up experience? I prepped for it for months, > knowing I would be alone. But I didn't realize what a blessing the aloneness > would bring. I was scared. But I have LOVED it! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 31, 2010 Report Share Posted August 31, 2010 When I was younger I was terrified of making any choices at all, even small ones (like what food to pick from a menu or what to wear). I had so much experience of making a choice and feeling it being wrong and having my nada explode. (even though I could make the same choice another time and have it be right, or make the opposite choice and it still being wrong.) It took therapy for me to finally be able to make decisions for myself without panicking about whether it was " correct " . Casey > > > > > > > > > > Can anyone identify the moment they " grew up? " > > > > > > > > > > I'm reading the Road Less Traveled. Scot Peck talks about how he grew up and > > > > > left behind his parent's expectations for what he would be. In his case, he > > > > > was 15 and left boarding school against his parent's wishes. > > > > > > > > > > I think as KOs we are molded to enable our Nada's sickness and given > > > > > specific roles within the family. To shrug off these roles and walk away > > > > > from it because we want to lead our own lives is to grow up. > > > > > > > > > > In my case, I know the exact moment I grew up. I was 28 (old, I know) and I > > > > > decided to divorce my ass of a husband. This was something of a sin > > > > > according to the FOO and I knew my relationship would never be the same with > > > > > them. But I did it anyway. My FOO said the expected HORRRIBLE things, and I > > > > > have not really seen them since. I've seen them a few times, but I never did > > > > > pick my role and job in the family back up again. > > > > > > > > > > Anyone else have this growing up experience? I prepped for it for months, > > > > > knowing I would be alone. But I didn't realize what a blessing the aloneness > > > > > would bring. I was scared. But I have LOVED it! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 31, 2010 Report Share Posted August 31, 2010 When I was younger I was terrified of making any choices at all, even small ones (like what food to pick from a menu or what to wear). I had so much experience of making a choice and feeling it being wrong and having my nada explode. (even though I could make the same choice another time and have it be right, or make the opposite choice and it still being wrong.) It took therapy for me to finally be able to make decisions for myself without panicking about whether it was " correct " . Casey > > > > > > > > > > Can anyone identify the moment they " grew up? " > > > > > > > > > > I'm reading the Road Less Traveled. Scot Peck talks about how he grew up and > > > > > left behind his parent's expectations for what he would be. In his case, he > > > > > was 15 and left boarding school against his parent's wishes. > > > > > > > > > > I think as KOs we are molded to enable our Nada's sickness and given > > > > > specific roles within the family. To shrug off these roles and walk away > > > > > from it because we want to lead our own lives is to grow up. > > > > > > > > > > In my case, I know the exact moment I grew up. I was 28 (old, I know) and I > > > > > decided to divorce my ass of a husband. This was something of a sin > > > > > according to the FOO and I knew my relationship would never be the same with > > > > > them. But I did it anyway. My FOO said the expected HORRRIBLE things, and I > > > > > have not really seen them since. I've seen them a few times, but I never did > > > > > pick my role and job in the family back up again. > > > > > > > > > > Anyone else have this growing up experience? I prepped for it for months, > > > > > knowing I would be alone. But I didn't realize what a blessing the aloneness > > > > > would bring. I was scared. But I have LOVED it! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 31, 2010 Report Share Posted August 31, 2010 When I was younger I was terrified of making any choices at all, even small ones (like what food to pick from a menu or what to wear). I had so much experience of making a choice and feeling it being wrong and having my nada explode. (even though I could make the same choice another time and have it be right, or make the opposite choice and it still being wrong.) It took therapy for me to finally be able to make decisions for myself without panicking about whether it was " correct " . Casey > > > > > > > > > > Can anyone identify the moment they " grew up? " > > > > > > > > > > I'm reading the Road Less Traveled. Scot Peck talks about how he grew up and > > > > > left behind his parent's expectations for what he would be. In his case, he > > > > > was 15 and left boarding school against his parent's wishes. > > > > > > > > > > I think as KOs we are molded to enable our Nada's sickness and given > > > > > specific roles within the family. To shrug off these roles and walk away > > > > > from it because we want to lead our own lives is to grow up. > > > > > > > > > > In my case, I know the exact moment I grew up. I was 28 (old, I know) and I > > > > > decided to divorce my ass of a husband. This was something of a sin > > > > > according to the FOO and I knew my relationship would never be the same with > > > > > them. But I did it anyway. My FOO said the expected HORRRIBLE things, and I > > > > > have not really seen them since. I've seen them a few times, but I never did > > > > > pick my role and job in the family back up again. > > > > > > > > > > Anyone else have this growing up experience? I prepped for it for months, > > > > > knowing I would be alone. But I didn't realize what a blessing the aloneness > > > > > would bring. I was scared. But I have LOVED it! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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