Re: Re: nada wants to visit but too sick

[Guest guest]

,

I also meant to say that yes, our family camps regularly. At first, in part,

because it was one of the few things nada would not try to do with us or

want to do with us. But after five years of camping, it has become a

wonderful way for us to spend time together that we all love. And we do

always go to campgrounds that as far as she is concerned have no cell phone

service!

Unfortunately, my husband's parents will be coming for the day (they live

closer, but work so can only come on weekends) to celebrate with the boys

the same weekend. So, we won't be able to go out of town entirely that

weekend, but I do like the idea of simply not saying anything more to nada

about her visiting or not visiting. I kind of wish I never brought it up. I

thought it would be the end of the conversation - 'no duh mom, you are too

ill to travel that far', but instead she seems to be more actively

considering trying than if I had never brought it up.

She may or may not bring it up with me again, but me bringing it up somehow

seems to just reinforce in her mind that I am either really wanting her to

come or I don't want her to come depending on her frame of mind and what she

is projecting on that particular day. She is far enough away that she can

not simply show up and if she really does consider seriously coming at the

very least she needs us to pick her up at the train station - again, she

will have to bring it up. If she does, I will talk to her if she does bring

it up possibly suggesting rather than trying to rush a trip now when she may

not be up for it to wait and see how she feels and she could always come at

a later date if/when her health improves - which is unlikely, but might

stand a chance of her hearing more than 'I don't want her to come.'

Thanks,

MY

> ,

>

> Besides the casino visits (as long as she practically has a nurse to take

> care of her) amazing me but, that she has managed to get the doctor's office

> to come out to her car to give her her shot, is just remarkable to me. It

> seems there is nothing she can't get people to do for her. She apparently

> just calls when she gets there and they come out to give her her shot. Talk

> about being the queen!

>

> MY

>

>

> On Mon, Aug 23, 2010 at 1:21 PM, shirleyspawn

wrote:

>

>>

>>

>> My - Take the boys camping on their birthday weekend. You can rent or

>> borrow the equipment and go to a state park where they have all the

>> amenities. Some parks even have cabins you can rent, if you don't want to

>> fool with the tent. Then call Nada and announce your plans, and say NOTHING

>> about her not coming. The boys will enjoy it (assuming they're older than

>> 2), and there's no way Nada is going to huff and puff her way up a trail.

>>

>> We've done a lot of camping over the years (not just as a way to avoid my

>> mother - we actually enjoy it) - and my mom used to talk about coming with

>> us, renting a Winnebago, etc. It never came to anything. Too much work for

>> her, when it comes down to it. If she can't come to my house, demand that I

>> wait on her, then complain about everything, it's no fun for her.

>>

>> By the way - the line about your mom going to the casino struck me funny.

>> She's so pitiful she can't leave the house - EXCEPT to go to the casino! And

>> I'm assuming that's not a no-smoking zone, right? So her breathing problems

>> don't stop her from sitting in a smoky giant bar for hours at a time - but

>> they give her a good topic to use in dominating the conversation and

>> dictating the terms of her visits. Give me a break, Nada!

>>

>>

>>

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