Thoughts on loneliness and suicide

[Guest guest]

Hi Ladies,I have a few moments, now that my turkey is in the oven, and God put on my heart something I needed to talk about with some of you. Not all of you, but those who are alone or feeling lonely this holiday season. It's a tough time for some of us, for various reasons. Sometimes this season brings back memories that are cherished and bring joy, but sometimes the holidays bring times of painful memories that would rather be forgotten. Sometimes just the loneliness we feel while others are celebrating can make us despondent. For our family, this holiday will likely not ever be the same, with the passing of my beloved nephew. Suicide is something that none of us wants to face, either in our own life, or when discovering that someone you know is trying to cope with the aftermath of a suicide in their

family. It's so hard to know how to respond. Suicide is not a foreign idea to those of us with breast implants.....we have known women on this group and in the breast implant issue who have sadly, tragically ended their life even as we have tried to love them through their struggles. Many, many women with illness associated with breast implants contemplate suicide, yours truly included. There were times when I sat on the edge of my bed and thought how I could best do it so that there were no messes to clean up. But ultimately, I just knew and clung to the fact that my God loves me completely, and my family desperately needs me...my children need me. My husband needs me. My parents would absolutely be destroyed by the ultimate selfish act of taking my own life and leaving them to mourn. Suicide is just not an answer, no matter how desperate the situation. It may seem an easy way out, but it creates so

much more pain than if you just reach out to someone and ask for help.We have no answers as to why my nephew took his own life. We are still deeply grieving, and tomorrow and the days following are going to be extremely heartbreaking for us as we mourn together in burying this young man who had so much life ahead of him. I just wish so much that, first of all, I would have corresponded with him more frequently to know his needs more intimately, but most of all, I wish he would have reached out to anyone of us who would have done anything for him, to help him.And so I turn my thoughts to those women who are lurking here and staying silent....there are literally hundreds of you women out there who have never posted on our group. I know, because I see the memberships and the numbers of new women who sign up daily, yet we never hear from you. I respect everything about you....and I know that sometimes it

is very troubling to write publicly about your struggles and fears and concerns. Some of you are just too timid and shy to come out and tell us what you are going through; others are too afraid of being found out, who have names that could be recognized easily. Please hear me...I respect you for your choices, and I want to help you in whatever way I can. I just don't want you to be alone or feel that you can't talk to someone about your struggles. If you need to reach out to someone, but are too afraid to, please do not let your fear consume you....Please just reach out. Talk to someone. A friend, a family member, a church staff member, anyone who you think might be willing to spend time with you. I'm here if you need me. I've been through enough in this issue that my shoulders are wide and strong....and I can carry alot. Just know that suicide is never an answer, ever. There are

people who love you and care for you, if only you let them know you need an ear and a shoulder. Sometimes that person may be someone you least expect to be available to you, but who understands the pain you feel better than anyone else. Just reach out. I've toyed with the idea of making our email addresses hidden so that those who want to write without fear of being discovered can do so freely. We've had cases where I had to go back and delete all the posts from women who were mortified that they've revealed something private about themselves to the world on this group. If you are one who lurks because you are afraid of revealing your identity, would you please let me know how I can help you? Ladies, I never, ever, ever thought my family would be going through the pain and anguish we now are. It's devastating. If you are one who has contemplated suicide as a way to find relief from your sorrows,

please listen to me and do not do this, as it leaves so much pain in its wake. My grief has been overwhelming in the last few days, and I've even wondered if it is going to bring back some symptoms....I've had a few things that have made me nervous. The worst is yet to come as we bury him and say goodbye forever.I care about you all....and just wanted to let you know....don't ever do anything that is final without reaching out first....we are here if you need someone, and if you don't want to write publicly, please write me privately. I'm here if you need an ear.God bless you all,Patty