Guest guest Posted August 13, 2010 Report Share Posted August 13, 2010 well said, why I chose to walk away and try to avoid dealing with her crazy friends as much as possible, they all hear her side and never ask mine or what I have going on in my life. More later. proflaf Subject: Arguing with nada To: WTOAdultChildren1 Date: Friday, August 13, 2010, 1:39 PM Â I wanted to add that its very frustrating if not impossible to have a rational, productive, adult-to-adult conversation with one's bpd/npd mother. Its like trying to interview a slick politician, or a criminal law attorney. (I think most politicians start out as lawyers, actually.) Politicians, if you've noticed, almost never answer a question with a direct " yes " or " no. " Sometimes, they won't even answer the question asked at all, but will start talking about something else entirely. They're slippery, they refuse to be pinned down. They actually take courses and training in how to be manipulative, how to put a " spin " on an answer to make themselves look good, and how to talk around a question without actually answering it clearly. Our country is run by nadas and fadas! -Annie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2010 Report Share Posted August 13, 2010 Annie You hit the key, without realizing it. It is not an adult to adult conversation. If you have the good fortune to heal enough to grow up, the it is always an adult, You, and a spoiled, tempermental child. If you stay the adult and control , not the conversation, but the ground rules for it, you can be healthy. It doesnt matter if you prevail or not, you simply are going to refuse to talk to a pouting or temper tantrum child, even if said child lives in a 60 year old body. No one will ever win with them, but we will prevail by refusing to play when it goes to that level. That may start as bounderies, and progress to LC or NC. The name of the game is for you to stay healthy. Doug > > I wanted to add that its very frustrating if not impossible to have a rational, productive, adult-to-adult conversation with one's bpd/npd mother. Its like trying to interview a slick politician, or a criminal law attorney. (I think most politicians start out as lawyers, actually.) > > Politicians, if you've noticed, almost never answer a question with a direct " yes " or " no. " Sometimes, they won't even answer the question asked at all, but will start talking about something else entirely. > > They're slippery, they refuse to be pinned down. They actually take courses and training in how to be manipulative, how to put a " spin " on an answer to make themselves look good, and how to talk around a question without actually answering it clearly. > > Our country is run by nadas and fadas! > > -Annie > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2010 Report Share Posted August 13, 2010 Annie You hit the key, without realizing it. It is not an adult to adult conversation. If you have the good fortune to heal enough to grow up, the it is always an adult, You, and a spoiled, tempermental child. If you stay the adult and control , not the conversation, but the ground rules for it, you can be healthy. It doesnt matter if you prevail or not, you simply are going to refuse to talk to a pouting or temper tantrum child, even if said child lives in a 60 year old body. No one will ever win with them, but we will prevail by refusing to play when it goes to that level. That may start as bounderies, and progress to LC or NC. The name of the game is for you to stay healthy. Doug > > I wanted to add that its very frustrating if not impossible to have a rational, productive, adult-to-adult conversation with one's bpd/npd mother. Its like trying to interview a slick politician, or a criminal law attorney. (I think most politicians start out as lawyers, actually.) > > Politicians, if you've noticed, almost never answer a question with a direct " yes " or " no. " Sometimes, they won't even answer the question asked at all, but will start talking about something else entirely. > > They're slippery, they refuse to be pinned down. They actually take courses and training in how to be manipulative, how to put a " spin " on an answer to make themselves look good, and how to talk around a question without actually answering it clearly. > > Our country is run by nadas and fadas! > > -Annie > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 14, 2010 Report Share Posted August 14, 2010 I am a believer in this. I just think the nada/fada operate from a dot in the center of the circle. The dot is " me " and the circle is the world and their main impetus is to always be drawing everyone and everything in the circle closer to the dot that is them. I do beleive there is alot of personality disorder in politics, because empty people tend toward megalomania. > > I wanted to add that its very frustrating if not impossible to have a rational, productive, adult-to-adult conversation with one's bpd/npd mother. Its like trying to interview a slick politician, or a criminal law attorney. (I think most politicians start out as lawyers, actually.) > > Politicians, if you've noticed, almost never answer a question with a direct " yes " or " no. " Sometimes, they won't even answer the question asked at all, but will start talking about something else entirely. > > They're slippery, they refuse to be pinned down. They actually take courses and training in how to be manipulative, how to put a " spin " on an answer to make themselves look good, and how to talk around a question without actually answering it clearly. > > Our country is run by nadas and fadas! > > -Annie > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 14, 2010 Report Share Posted August 14, 2010 I am a believer in this. I just think the nada/fada operate from a dot in the center of the circle. The dot is " me " and the circle is the world and their main impetus is to always be drawing everyone and everything in the circle closer to the dot that is them. I do beleive there is alot of personality disorder in politics, because empty people tend toward megalomania. > > I wanted to add that its very frustrating if not impossible to have a rational, productive, adult-to-adult conversation with one's bpd/npd mother. Its like trying to interview a slick politician, or a criminal law attorney. (I think most politicians start out as lawyers, actually.) > > Politicians, if you've noticed, almost never answer a question with a direct " yes " or " no. " Sometimes, they won't even answer the question asked at all, but will start talking about something else entirely. > > They're slippery, they refuse to be pinned down. They actually take courses and training in how to be manipulative, how to put a " spin " on an answer to make themselves look good, and how to talk around a question without actually answering it clearly. > > Our country is run by nadas and fadas! > > -Annie > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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