Resenting IE

[Guest guest]

This is a vent, and ask for ideas post.

I'm feeling frustrated with IE right now.

For one, I have two small children, who are home with me most all the time

still. The oldest is in preschool 3 mornings a week, but that's it. The only

meal I have any peace at is dinner, and even that is small peace. Trying to eat

peacefully and mindfully is difficult at best and with their ages, I can't not

eat around them. I know, I do eat less when not constantly distracted and

interrupted by them, and that often I eat more because of the stress a meal can

be. But at the same time, I'm too close to the situation and don't know what to

do about it.

Secondly, I never get to eat what I want! Okay, that sounds like a crazy

statement. Isn't part of IE allowing ourselves, giving ourselves permission to

eat what we want. Well, I want ice cream and cookies and candy. I don't

however want those items for breakfast, lunch or dinner. At those times of the

day, I want the appropriate types of foods. Then, it turns out, most of my

eating has been stress induced, not hunger, and it comes around, that I'm almost

never hungry when I mentally want, or my taste-buds (still not my stomach,)

wants the junk. Then I hear the voices in my head. I hear the diet voices,

saying, " Oh the calories and the fat! horrors, tsk. " and I even hear the IE

voice saying, " you can have that if you want it, it is okay, but do you really

want it? " Turns out the answer is usually no, I don't really want that. (I too

have found I don't really like mochas, even though I used to drink many.) I'm

starting to resent that gentle IE voice, because even though it's telling me I

can have it, it also feels like it's telling me I can't because the answer is, I

don't really want it, and that's part of IE learning that difference so I don't

eat it, and I have wonderful yummy peppermint ice cream going bad in my freezer

and it's December and I have all sorts of holiday goodies in my pantry, and they

are going to rot there before I reach the 'right' hunger to eat them!

So, anyone got any ideas? What's wrong here. I should be happy that I'm

distinguishing better between my head, mouth and emotional hunger and my true

stomach hunger. Instead, I'm getting upset and resentful.

Dawn