Re: rough day...

[Guest guest]

Hi ,I can relate to your day. I don't know there was something in the air! I had a rough day myself yesterday. I did fine with the eating until evening. It seem people were at their rudest yesterday. STRESSED me out!!! All I can say is don't beat yourself up. Start again today. Last night after eating and eating I too, felt bloated and fat! Today, I'm starting fresh. We can do this!DebbieSubject: rough day...To: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Tuesday, June

22, 2010, 8:21 AM

Hi All

Yesterday was a rough day for me. Nothing seemed to go right and I feel like I'm under quite a bit of stress at this point in my life. The problem is that I don't know how to deal with stress, I guess.

I felt like I'd been doing well trying to eat normally and not think about calories or diets lately. But, as soon as I got stressed out I found that I just ate and ate and ate... Of course, that led to feeling bloated and fatter... And today I'm trying not to, but I keep entertaining the idea of a diet or some sort of restriction.

Any tips as to how to break this cycle? I'm trying to look at the positive side and recognize that at least I know what triggered these actions (stress), but knowing this didn't stop me from mindlessly, quickly overeating all day...

I'm just already so scared to trust myself to know when and how much to eat, so whenever this happens, it shakes that trust even more :/

Thanks for reading,

[Guest guest]

Hi ,I can relate to your day. I don't know there was something in the air! I had a rough day myself yesterday. I did fine with the eating until evening. It seem people were at their rudest yesterday. STRESSED me out!!! All I can say is don't beat yourself up. Start again today. Last night after eating and eating I too, felt bloated and fat! Today, I'm starting fresh. We can do this!DebbieSubject: rough day...To: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Tuesday, June

22, 2010, 8:21 AM

Hi All

Yesterday was a rough day for me. Nothing seemed to go right and I feel like I'm under quite a bit of stress at this point in my life. The problem is that I don't know how to deal with stress, I guess.

I felt like I'd been doing well trying to eat normally and not think about calories or diets lately. But, as soon as I got stressed out I found that I just ate and ate and ate... Of course, that led to feeling bloated and fatter... And today I'm trying not to, but I keep entertaining the idea of a diet or some sort of restriction.

Any tips as to how to break this cycle? I'm trying to look at the positive side and recognize that at least I know what triggered these actions (stress), but knowing this didn't stop me from mindlessly, quickly overeating all day...

I'm just already so scared to trust myself to know when and how much to eat, so whenever this happens, it shakes that trust even more :/

Thanks for reading,

[Guest guest]

, for me I think it's starting to help to just to recognize

that I'm not really hungry when I eat outside of meals. I just want

something to eat whether it's because I'm bored or stressed or

whatever. I think you nailed it when you said "I don't know how to

deal with stress, I guess." Join the party. For everyone who drinks

too much, eats too much, shops too much, watches TV too much, etc.,

etc., we don't know how to deal with our stress either. I think the

real trick is to find something constructive to do with those stressful

feelings instead of eating. Some people exercise, some people soak in

the tub, some people meditate or do yoga, some people distract

themselves doing some physical work, because I don't think you can

avoid stress altogether, so you just have to find something that calms

you without resorting to eating 2 dozen cookies, a pound bag of

M & Ms and/or a half gallon of Blue Bell (I know of what I speak) and

making yourself sick.

As Geneen Roth described them in Women, Food and God, some people

figure the best way to go is to just restrict what they eat, punish

themselves for "being so weak" and devote themselves to losing weight

by eating grapefruit or steak (or whatever the latest craze is) to

atone for the sin of letting themselves eat. The other lot is my

choice - nobody is telling me what to eat, when or where. So I'm a

permitter or someone who'll just stuff my face full of chocolate

brownies and whine about the number on the scale and then fret about

what to do about it. But the bottom line is it isn't about the food

anyway. It's about coping with stress without using food to calm

yourself. I think we all have to find our own coping mechanisms.

Does that help?

Dawn

Hi All

Yesterday was a rough day for me. Nothing seemed to go right and I feel

like I'm under quite a bit of stress at this point in my life. The

problem is that I don't know how to deal with stress, I guess.

I felt like I'd been doing well trying to eat normally and not think

about calories or diets lately. But, as soon as I got stressed out I

found that I just ate and ate and ate... Of course, that led to feeling

bloated and fatter... And today I'm trying not to, but I keep

entertaining the idea of a diet or some sort of restriction.

Any tips as to how to break this cycle? I'm trying to look at the

positive side and recognize that at least I know what triggered these

actions (stress), but knowing this didn't stop me from mindlessly,

quickly overeating all day...

I'm just already so scared to trust myself to know when and how much to

eat, so whenever this happens, it shakes that trust even more :/

Thanks for reading,

[Guest guest]

, your message is very timely for me and I can relate. Yesterday, I

received an email from my nephew with pictures from his recent wedding. I was

in many of those pictures, and was mentally crushed at how " large " I looked!

Rather than focusing on fond memories of the wedding and how happy and beautiful

my nephew and his bride looked, I was immediately caught up in shame and

self-loathing. I spent yesterday battling obsessive thoughts about how I need

to lose weight and do it now, and I'd better reconsider this whole IE thing, and

get myself back to Weight Watchers, and on and on and on it went. Last night I

gave into a pint of Ben & Jerry's . . . yes, it's now allowed, but I wasn't even

remotely hungry. The good news is that I realized after a few bites that it

didn't even taste good, and I put it back in the freezer. But today, like you,

the diet police were back in my head and I found myself judging everything I

wanted to put in my mouth (too fattening, too many calories, all this is just

making me fatter, etc.).

I did eventually talk myself off the ledge of my self-induced stupor, and this

evening I'm asking myself what did I learn from this experience? As Laurie has

said a few times in her posts, I got curious about what this was all about. I'm

still thinking that through, but I did realize that in the midst of my battle,

that I have gone through a mental shift and parts of that were able to shine

through the cracks in my armor, so to say. For example, I didn't eat the whole

pint of ice cream. In truth I only had a few bites, and had an awareness that I

wasn't hungry, and was successful at stopping and putting it back. I also was

able to work through the pressure to go back on another diet, because I know in

my heart of hearts that dieting has not worked for me, and there has to be a

better way. Finally, I was able to talk to myself and reinforce the fact that

IE is a process, and a new one for me, and to allow myself to be patient with my

progress or sometimes lack of it.

Dieting has been a way of life for many of us for many years, and it is going to

take some time to learn new behaviors and get the diet police out of our heads.

I'm not sure I'm offering up any tips on how to break the cycle, other than to

acknowledge the small day-to-day victories (and it sounds like you've had many

successful days) and recognize this new awareness surrounding our thoughts and

food. I admit that I struggle with being kind to myself, and I still avoid the

mirror like the plague, but there are glimmers of hope.

Just reading everyone's posts has been tremendously encouraging for me. All the

best to you.

PJ

>

> Hi All

>

> Yesterday was a rough day for me. Nothing seemed to go right and I feel like

I'm under quite a bit of stress at this point in my life. The problem is that I

don't know how to deal with stress, I guess.

>

> I felt like I'd been doing well trying to eat normally and not think about

calories or diets lately. But, as soon as I got stressed out I found that I

just ate and ate and ate... Of course, that led to feeling bloated and

fatter... And today I'm trying not to, but I keep entertaining the idea of a

diet or some sort of restriction.

>

> Any tips as to how to break this cycle?

[Guest guest]

, your message is very timely for me and I can relate. Yesterday, I

received an email from my nephew with pictures from his recent wedding. I was

in many of those pictures, and was mentally crushed at how " large " I looked!

Rather than focusing on fond memories of the wedding and how happy and beautiful

my nephew and his bride looked, I was immediately caught up in shame and

self-loathing. I spent yesterday battling obsessive thoughts about how I need

to lose weight and do it now, and I'd better reconsider this whole IE thing, and

get myself back to Weight Watchers, and on and on and on it went. Last night I

gave into a pint of Ben & Jerry's . . . yes, it's now allowed, but I wasn't even

remotely hungry. The good news is that I realized after a few bites that it

didn't even taste good, and I put it back in the freezer. But today, like you,

the diet police were back in my head and I found myself judging everything I

wanted to put in my mouth (too fattening, too many calories, all this is just

making me fatter, etc.).

I did eventually talk myself off the ledge of my self-induced stupor, and this

evening I'm asking myself what did I learn from this experience? As Laurie has

said a few times in her posts, I got curious about what this was all about. I'm

still thinking that through, but I did realize that in the midst of my battle,

that I have gone through a mental shift and parts of that were able to shine

through the cracks in my armor, so to say. For example, I didn't eat the whole

pint of ice cream. In truth I only had a few bites, and had an awareness that I

wasn't hungry, and was successful at stopping and putting it back. I also was

able to work through the pressure to go back on another diet, because I know in

my heart of hearts that dieting has not worked for me, and there has to be a

better way. Finally, I was able to talk to myself and reinforce the fact that

IE is a process, and a new one for me, and to allow myself to be patient with my

progress or sometimes lack of it.

Dieting has been a way of life for many of us for many years, and it is going to

take some time to learn new behaviors and get the diet police out of our heads.

I'm not sure I'm offering up any tips on how to break the cycle, other than to

acknowledge the small day-to-day victories (and it sounds like you've had many

successful days) and recognize this new awareness surrounding our thoughts and

food. I admit that I struggle with being kind to myself, and I still avoid the

mirror like the plague, but there are glimmers of hope.

Just reading everyone's posts has been tremendously encouraging for me. All the

best to you.

PJ

>

> Hi All

>

> Yesterday was a rough day for me. Nothing seemed to go right and I feel like

I'm under quite a bit of stress at this point in my life. The problem is that I

don't know how to deal with stress, I guess.

>

> I felt like I'd been doing well trying to eat normally and not think about

calories or diets lately. But, as soon as I got stressed out I found that I

just ate and ate and ate... Of course, that led to feeling bloated and

fatter... And today I'm trying not to, but I keep entertaining the idea of a

diet or some sort of restriction.

>

> Any tips as to how to break this cycle?

[Guest guest]

, your message is very timely for me and I can relate. Yesterday, I

received an email from my nephew with pictures from his recent wedding. I was

in many of those pictures, and was mentally crushed at how " large " I looked!

Rather than focusing on fond memories of the wedding and how happy and beautiful

my nephew and his bride looked, I was immediately caught up in shame and

self-loathing. I spent yesterday battling obsessive thoughts about how I need

to lose weight and do it now, and I'd better reconsider this whole IE thing, and

get myself back to Weight Watchers, and on and on and on it went. Last night I

gave into a pint of Ben & Jerry's . . . yes, it's now allowed, but I wasn't even

remotely hungry. The good news is that I realized after a few bites that it

didn't even taste good, and I put it back in the freezer. But today, like you,

the diet police were back in my head and I found myself judging everything I

wanted to put in my mouth (too fattening, too many calories, all this is just

making me fatter, etc.).

I did eventually talk myself off the ledge of my self-induced stupor, and this

evening I'm asking myself what did I learn from this experience? As Laurie has

said a few times in her posts, I got curious about what this was all about. I'm

still thinking that through, but I did realize that in the midst of my battle,

that I have gone through a mental shift and parts of that were able to shine

through the cracks in my armor, so to say. For example, I didn't eat the whole

pint of ice cream. In truth I only had a few bites, and had an awareness that I

wasn't hungry, and was successful at stopping and putting it back. I also was

able to work through the pressure to go back on another diet, because I know in

my heart of hearts that dieting has not worked for me, and there has to be a

better way. Finally, I was able to talk to myself and reinforce the fact that

IE is a process, and a new one for me, and to allow myself to be patient with my

progress or sometimes lack of it.

Dieting has been a way of life for many of us for many years, and it is going to

take some time to learn new behaviors and get the diet police out of our heads.

I'm not sure I'm offering up any tips on how to break the cycle, other than to

acknowledge the small day-to-day victories (and it sounds like you've had many

successful days) and recognize this new awareness surrounding our thoughts and

food. I admit that I struggle with being kind to myself, and I still avoid the

mirror like the plague, but there are glimmers of hope.

Just reading everyone's posts has been tremendously encouraging for me. All the

best to you.

PJ

>

> Hi All

>

> Yesterday was a rough day for me. Nothing seemed to go right and I feel like

I'm under quite a bit of stress at this point in my life. The problem is that I

don't know how to deal with stress, I guess.

>

> I felt like I'd been doing well trying to eat normally and not think about

calories or diets lately. But, as soon as I got stressed out I found that I

just ate and ate and ate... Of course, that led to feeling bloated and

fatter... And today I'm trying not to, but I keep entertaining the idea of a

diet or some sort of restriction.

>

> Any tips as to how to break this cycle?

[Guest guest]

Thank you all so much for your responses. I can't even begin to explain how

much it helps me to receive support and know others go through the same things I

go through.

I feel like I can say that although I have taken steps backwards, I have also

taken forward steps too. Such as recognizing WHY I'm eating when I'm not

hungry. I've been thinking lately of how it seems that I've never been able to

actually respond to and deal with my stress or anxiety. I used to smoke, drink,

do recreational drugs, and over-exercise depending upon what I was dealing with

and what kind of people I surrounded myself with. And now that I've given up

all of those, I eat. I've traded one crutch with another more 'socially

acceptable' way of dealing...

Yesterday I began counting calories. Of course I thought this time it will

work, this time is different. I'm sure we all know it's not, but logic is not

in the room at this time. And I found myself overeating at breakfast because

I'd already counted those calories, so I might as well eat them. And eating

junk for lunch because 'a calorie is a calorie' even though my body feels low

and tired after. Next I'm driving and emailing myself to remember to calculate

how many calories were in a bite I snagged before walking out the door.

Absolutely ridiculous.

That's not listening to my body. It's not paying attention to hunger, not

enjoying my food, not eating what makes my body feel good. All I was doing was

ADDING to my stress and anxiety. One more thing that I don't need to worry

about...

I'm embarrassed that I keep stepping backwards. But, I feel a little better

that I made a healthy, satisfying dinner that wasn't measured or weighed. It

was good for me and it was what my body was craving. And I feel good after

eating it.

I'm just so exhausted... I hope this wasn't too much of a ramble Again, I

just want to thank you all that responded because reading your opinions and

experiences helps me to reflect and figure out what's going on

Good night,

[Guest guest]

Thank you all so much for your responses. I can't even begin to explain how

much it helps me to receive support and know others go through the same things I

go through.

I feel like I can say that although I have taken steps backwards, I have also

taken forward steps too. Such as recognizing WHY I'm eating when I'm not

hungry. I've been thinking lately of how it seems that I've never been able to

actually respond to and deal with my stress or anxiety. I used to smoke, drink,

do recreational drugs, and over-exercise depending upon what I was dealing with

and what kind of people I surrounded myself with. And now that I've given up

all of those, I eat. I've traded one crutch with another more 'socially

acceptable' way of dealing...

Yesterday I began counting calories. Of course I thought this time it will

work, this time is different. I'm sure we all know it's not, but logic is not

in the room at this time. And I found myself overeating at breakfast because

I'd already counted those calories, so I might as well eat them. And eating

junk for lunch because 'a calorie is a calorie' even though my body feels low

and tired after. Next I'm driving and emailing myself to remember to calculate

how many calories were in a bite I snagged before walking out the door.

Absolutely ridiculous.

That's not listening to my body. It's not paying attention to hunger, not

enjoying my food, not eating what makes my body feel good. All I was doing was

ADDING to my stress and anxiety. One more thing that I don't need to worry

about...

I'm embarrassed that I keep stepping backwards. But, I feel a little better

that I made a healthy, satisfying dinner that wasn't measured or weighed. It

was good for me and it was what my body was craving. And I feel good after

eating it.

I'm just so exhausted... I hope this wasn't too much of a ramble Again, I

just want to thank you all that responded because reading your opinions and

experiences helps me to reflect and figure out what's going on

Good night,

[Guest guest]

Thank you all so much for your responses. I can't even begin to explain how

much it helps me to receive support and know others go through the same things I

go through.

I feel like I can say that although I have taken steps backwards, I have also

taken forward steps too. Such as recognizing WHY I'm eating when I'm not

hungry. I've been thinking lately of how it seems that I've never been able to

actually respond to and deal with my stress or anxiety. I used to smoke, drink,

do recreational drugs, and over-exercise depending upon what I was dealing with

and what kind of people I surrounded myself with. And now that I've given up

all of those, I eat. I've traded one crutch with another more 'socially

acceptable' way of dealing...

Yesterday I began counting calories. Of course I thought this time it will

work, this time is different. I'm sure we all know it's not, but logic is not

in the room at this time. And I found myself overeating at breakfast because

I'd already counted those calories, so I might as well eat them. And eating

junk for lunch because 'a calorie is a calorie' even though my body feels low

and tired after. Next I'm driving and emailing myself to remember to calculate

how many calories were in a bite I snagged before walking out the door.

Absolutely ridiculous.

That's not listening to my body. It's not paying attention to hunger, not

enjoying my food, not eating what makes my body feel good. All I was doing was

ADDING to my stress and anxiety. One more thing that I don't need to worry

about...

I'm embarrassed that I keep stepping backwards. But, I feel a little better

that I made a healthy, satisfying dinner that wasn't measured or weighed. It

was good for me and it was what my body was craving. And I feel good after

eating it.

I'm just so exhausted... I hope this wasn't too much of a ramble Again, I

just want to thank you all that responded because reading your opinions and

experiences helps me to reflect and figure out what's going on

Good night,

[Guest guest]

Hi, ,

For a while it's going to seem more comforting to go back to what you know...counting calories. Trying anything new feels a bit scary, and so it will be easier to slip back to what feels comfortable than to go forward into something you don't know will work and may require you to look at some things you preferred to distract yourself from by counting calories and obsessing about food.

You don't have to figure out everything at once. The fact that you ate one meal today in response to what your body wanted is awesome! You don't have to do any day perfectly, and working your way slowly into this is kinder to yourself in any case. No one here is judging you harshly...except you yourself. You spent most of your time in your message listing all the things you DIDN'T do and saying you feel embarrassed about them, but spent only three very short sentences to describe a truly fabulous success after a discouraging day. Time to realize that you ROCK!

Tomorrow you can start again. The goals are easy, though not easily accomplished for those of us inclined to obsess about our food: Eat when you're hungry. Eat what your body wants. Stop when you're satisfied. Etc. Get up the next day, repeat. And most of all, be very, very, very kind to yourself. You've beat up on yourself long enough. You can stop now. You deserve so much better.

All best,

Laurie

wrote:

>>>Thank you all so much for your responses. I can't even begin to explain how much it helps me to receive support and know others go through the same things I go through.

I feel like I can say that although I have taken steps backwards, I have also taken forward steps too. Such as recognizing WHY I'm eating when I'm not hungry. I've been thinking lately of how it seems that I've never been able to actually respond to and deal with my stress or anxiety. I used to smoke, drink, do recreational drugs, and over-exercise depending upon what I was dealing with and what kind of people I surrounded myself with. And now that I've given up all of those, I eat. I've traded one crutch with another more 'socially acceptable' way of dealing...

Yesterday I began counting calories. Of course I thought this time it will work, this time is different. I'm sure we all know it's not, but logic is not in the room at this time. And I found myself overeating at breakfast because I'd already counted those calories, so I might as well eat them. And eating junk for lunch because 'a calorie is a calorie' even though my body feels low and tired after. Next I'm driving and emailing myself to remember to calculate how many calories were in a bite I snagged before walking out the door. Absolutely ridiculous.

That's not listening to my body. It's not paying attention to hunger, not enjoying my food, not eating what makes my body feel good. All I was doing was ADDING to my stress and anxiety. One more thing that I don't need to worry about...

I'm embarrassed that I keep stepping backwards. But, I feel a little better that I made a healthy, satisfying dinner that wasn't measured or weighed. It was good for me and it was what my body was craving. And I feel good after eating it.

I'm just so exhausted... I hope this wasn't too much of a ramble Again, I just want to thank you all that responded because reading your opinions and experiences helps me to reflect and figure out what's going on

Good night,

<<<

[Guest guest]

Hi, ,

For a while it's going to seem more comforting to go back to what you know...counting calories. Trying anything new feels a bit scary, and so it will be easier to slip back to what feels comfortable than to go forward into something you don't know will work and may require you to look at some things you preferred to distract yourself from by counting calories and obsessing about food.

You don't have to figure out everything at once. The fact that you ate one meal today in response to what your body wanted is awesome! You don't have to do any day perfectly, and working your way slowly into this is kinder to yourself in any case. No one here is judging you harshly...except you yourself. You spent most of your time in your message listing all the things you DIDN'T do and saying you feel embarrassed about them, but spent only three very short sentences to describe a truly fabulous success after a discouraging day. Time to realize that you ROCK!

Tomorrow you can start again. The goals are easy, though not easily accomplished for those of us inclined to obsess about our food: Eat when you're hungry. Eat what your body wants. Stop when you're satisfied. Etc. Get up the next day, repeat. And most of all, be very, very, very kind to yourself. You've beat up on yourself long enough. You can stop now. You deserve so much better.

All best,

Laurie

wrote:

>>>Thank you all so much for your responses. I can't even begin to explain how much it helps me to receive support and know others go through the same things I go through.

I feel like I can say that although I have taken steps backwards, I have also taken forward steps too. Such as recognizing WHY I'm eating when I'm not hungry. I've been thinking lately of how it seems that I've never been able to actually respond to and deal with my stress or anxiety. I used to smoke, drink, do recreational drugs, and over-exercise depending upon what I was dealing with and what kind of people I surrounded myself with. And now that I've given up all of those, I eat. I've traded one crutch with another more 'socially acceptable' way of dealing...

Yesterday I began counting calories. Of course I thought this time it will work, this time is different. I'm sure we all know it's not, but logic is not in the room at this time. And I found myself overeating at breakfast because I'd already counted those calories, so I might as well eat them. And eating junk for lunch because 'a calorie is a calorie' even though my body feels low and tired after. Next I'm driving and emailing myself to remember to calculate how many calories were in a bite I snagged before walking out the door. Absolutely ridiculous.

That's not listening to my body. It's not paying attention to hunger, not enjoying my food, not eating what makes my body feel good. All I was doing was ADDING to my stress and anxiety. One more thing that I don't need to worry about...

I'm embarrassed that I keep stepping backwards. But, I feel a little better that I made a healthy, satisfying dinner that wasn't measured or weighed. It was good for me and it was what my body was craving. And I feel good after eating it.

I'm just so exhausted... I hope this wasn't too much of a ramble Again, I just want to thank you all that responded because reading your opinions and experiences helps me to reflect and figure out what's going on

Good night,

<<<