Re: bpd SIL moved out today...

[Guest guest]

If your SIL does move into her own place with her two small children and your

brother in tow, and if she does mistreat or neglect her children you can call

and report her to child protective services.

These days it apparently takes a shocking amount of abuse or neglect to get

anything accomplished; I've heard stories of CPS workers investigating and

saying that a filthy house (to the point of reeking, urine-soaked,

feces-encrusted carpets and mattresses swarming with cockroaches and other

vermin) is not sufficient to qualify as " abuse " or warrant having the children

removed. To me, that is shocking.

But if the children begin showing visible signs of abuse once they are out from

under your wing and your mother's wing, then I'd call CPS and at least get a

paper trail started.

-Annie

>

> There was a terrible confrontation with her today. I am unbelievably sad for

her kids and what they are going to grow up in. Her kids are one and two and

already split good and bad. I am devastated for the two year old, whom I am very

close to and watch every day.

>

> I keep feeling that my mother, whom they actually lived with (I live in a

different house on the land) may have been right about just bending over and

taking anything she dishes out no matter what in order to keep the kids here.

She got up and said " i'm leaving' for like the millionth time, and once I

realized she was really going I spoke my mind to her about alot of things. And

now I have this horrible guilt about how I should have begged her to stay for

the sake of the kids (in fairness I did ask her before I started if there was

anything at all I could say to make her stay...of course she said no because

she's been threatening to leave but it was just a matter of time.

>

> But i just have this horrible codependency in me right now about how I should

have been completely humble and begged her to stay. and it terrifies me what her

kids are going to go through. I guess I would like to say if anyone can remember

me and those kids in their prayers it would be appreciated. because there is

really nothing anyone can do. it's done. I am so sad, not knowing if I did or

said the wrong or right thing or if it even matters at all. it was just a bad

day all around but now those precious kids are gone and they are not coming

back. it's such agony.

>

[Guest guest]

If your SIL does move into her own place with her two small children and your

brother in tow, and if she does mistreat or neglect her children you can call

and report her to child protective services.

These days it apparently takes a shocking amount of abuse or neglect to get

anything accomplished; I've heard stories of CPS workers investigating and

saying that a filthy house (to the point of reeking, urine-soaked,

feces-encrusted carpets and mattresses swarming with cockroaches and other

vermin) is not sufficient to qualify as " abuse " or warrant having the children

removed. To me, that is shocking.

But if the children begin showing visible signs of abuse once they are out from

under your wing and your mother's wing, then I'd call CPS and at least get a

paper trail started.

-Annie

>

> There was a terrible confrontation with her today. I am unbelievably sad for

her kids and what they are going to grow up in. Her kids are one and two and

already split good and bad. I am devastated for the two year old, whom I am very

close to and watch every day.

>

> I keep feeling that my mother, whom they actually lived with (I live in a

different house on the land) may have been right about just bending over and

taking anything she dishes out no matter what in order to keep the kids here.

She got up and said " i'm leaving' for like the millionth time, and once I

realized she was really going I spoke my mind to her about alot of things. And

now I have this horrible guilt about how I should have begged her to stay for

the sake of the kids (in fairness I did ask her before I started if there was

anything at all I could say to make her stay...of course she said no because

she's been threatening to leave but it was just a matter of time.

>

> But i just have this horrible codependency in me right now about how I should

have been completely humble and begged her to stay. and it terrifies me what her

kids are going to go through. I guess I would like to say if anyone can remember

me and those kids in their prayers it would be appreciated. because there is

really nothing anyone can do. it's done. I am so sad, not knowing if I did or

said the wrong or right thing or if it even matters at all. it was just a bad

day all around but now those precious kids are gone and they are not coming

back. it's such agony.

>

[Guest guest]

If your SIL does move into her own place with her two small children and your

brother in tow, and if she does mistreat or neglect her children you can call

and report her to child protective services.

These days it apparently takes a shocking amount of abuse or neglect to get

anything accomplished; I've heard stories of CPS workers investigating and

saying that a filthy house (to the point of reeking, urine-soaked,

feces-encrusted carpets and mattresses swarming with cockroaches and other

vermin) is not sufficient to qualify as " abuse " or warrant having the children

removed. To me, that is shocking.

But if the children begin showing visible signs of abuse once they are out from

under your wing and your mother's wing, then I'd call CPS and at least get a

paper trail started.

-Annie

>

> There was a terrible confrontation with her today. I am unbelievably sad for

her kids and what they are going to grow up in. Her kids are one and two and

already split good and bad. I am devastated for the two year old, whom I am very

close to and watch every day.

>

> I keep feeling that my mother, whom they actually lived with (I live in a

different house on the land) may have been right about just bending over and

taking anything she dishes out no matter what in order to keep the kids here.

She got up and said " i'm leaving' for like the millionth time, and once I

realized she was really going I spoke my mind to her about alot of things. And

now I have this horrible guilt about how I should have begged her to stay for

the sake of the kids (in fairness I did ask her before I started if there was

anything at all I could say to make her stay...of course she said no because

she's been threatening to leave but it was just a matter of time.

>

> But i just have this horrible codependency in me right now about how I should

have been completely humble and begged her to stay. and it terrifies me what her

kids are going to go through. I guess I would like to say if anyone can remember

me and those kids in their prayers it would be appreciated. because there is

really nothing anyone can do. it's done. I am so sad, not knowing if I did or

said the wrong or right thing or if it even matters at all. it was just a bad

day all around but now those precious kids are gone and they are not coming

back. it's such agony.

>

[Guest guest]

You have gotten some excellent support and advice. BP's are unpredictable- so

you never know what will happen next. I think you should call social services-

that is what we call it in my area- and at least make them aware and start the

paper trail.

I am so sorry for what you are experiencing- and I will pray for you and those

precious children.

Malindab

>

> There was a terrible confrontation with her today. I am unbelievably sad for

her kids and what they are going to grow up in. Her kids are one and two and

already split good and bad. I am devastated for the two year old, whom I am very

close to and watch every day.

>

> I keep feeling that my mother, whom they actually lived with (I live in a

different house on the land) may have been right about just bending over and

taking anything she dishes out no matter what in order to keep the kids here.

She got up and said " i'm leaving' for like the millionth time, and once I

realized she was really going I spoke my mind to her about alot of things. And

now I have this horrible guilt about how I should have begged her to stay for

the sake of the kids (in fairness I did ask her before I started if there was

anything at all I could say to make her stay...of course she said no because

she's been threatening to leave but it was just a matter of time.

>

> But i just have this horrible codependency in me right now about how I should

have been completely humble and begged her to stay. and it terrifies me what her

kids are going to go through. I guess I would like to say if anyone can remember

me and those kids in their prayers it would be appreciated. because there is

really nothing anyone can do. it's done. I am so sad, not knowing if I did or

said the wrong or right thing or if it even matters at all. it was just a bad

day all around but now those precious kids are gone and they are not coming

back. it's such agony.

>

[Guest guest]

You have gotten some excellent support and advice. BP's are unpredictable- so

you never know what will happen next. I think you should call social services-

that is what we call it in my area- and at least make them aware and start the

paper trail.

I am so sorry for what you are experiencing- and I will pray for you and those

precious children.

Malindab

>

> There was a terrible confrontation with her today. I am unbelievably sad for

her kids and what they are going to grow up in. Her kids are one and two and

already split good and bad. I am devastated for the two year old, whom I am very

close to and watch every day.

>

> I keep feeling that my mother, whom they actually lived with (I live in a

different house on the land) may have been right about just bending over and

taking anything she dishes out no matter what in order to keep the kids here.

She got up and said " i'm leaving' for like the millionth time, and once I

realized she was really going I spoke my mind to her about alot of things. And

now I have this horrible guilt about how I should have begged her to stay for

the sake of the kids (in fairness I did ask her before I started if there was

anything at all I could say to make her stay...of course she said no because

she's been threatening to leave but it was just a matter of time.

>

> But i just have this horrible codependency in me right now about how I should

have been completely humble and begged her to stay. and it terrifies me what her

kids are going to go through. I guess I would like to say if anyone can remember

me and those kids in their prayers it would be appreciated. because there is

really nothing anyone can do. it's done. I am so sad, not knowing if I did or

said the wrong or right thing or if it even matters at all. it was just a bad

day all around but now those precious kids are gone and they are not coming

back. it's such agony.

>

[Guest guest]

You have gotten some excellent support and advice. BP's are unpredictable- so

you never know what will happen next. I think you should call social services-

that is what we call it in my area- and at least make them aware and start the

paper trail.

I am so sorry for what you are experiencing- and I will pray for you and those

precious children.

Malindab

>

> There was a terrible confrontation with her today. I am unbelievably sad for

her kids and what they are going to grow up in. Her kids are one and two and

already split good and bad. I am devastated for the two year old, whom I am very

close to and watch every day.

>

> I keep feeling that my mother, whom they actually lived with (I live in a

different house on the land) may have been right about just bending over and

taking anything she dishes out no matter what in order to keep the kids here.

She got up and said " i'm leaving' for like the millionth time, and once I

realized she was really going I spoke my mind to her about alot of things. And

now I have this horrible guilt about how I should have begged her to stay for

the sake of the kids (in fairness I did ask her before I started if there was

anything at all I could say to make her stay...of course she said no because

she's been threatening to leave but it was just a matter of time.

>

> But i just have this horrible codependency in me right now about how I should

have been completely humble and begged her to stay. and it terrifies me what her

kids are going to go through. I guess I would like to say if anyone can remember

me and those kids in their prayers it would be appreciated. because there is

really nothing anyone can do. it's done. I am so sad, not knowing if I did or

said the wrong or right thing or if it even matters at all. it was just a bad

day all around but now those precious kids are gone and they are not coming

back. it's such agony.

>

[Guest guest]

thanks, you accurately described the situation but they apparently don't care

about emotional torment and since she is here (and my brother follows her

wherever she goes like a lost puppy because he is so whipped) we don't let it

get that messed up. I can't even get a case open. When I called and talked to

them about a month ago I felt like they responded to me as a meddling relative

who was just overly concerned. In my state cleaning is not ad criteria for

neglect, the environment has to be hazardous to the child, and apparently mental

abuse doesn't count.

> >

> > >

> > >

> > > There was a terrible confrontation with her today. I am unbelievably sad

> > > for her kids and what they are going to grow up in. Her kids are one and

two

> > > and already split good and bad. I am devastated for the two year old, whom

I

> > > am very close to and watch every day.

> > >

> > > I keep feeling that my mother, whom they actually lived with (I live in a

> > > different house on the land) may have been right about just bending over

and

> > > taking anything she dishes out no matter what in order to keep the kids

> > > here. She got up and said " i'm leaving' for like the millionth time, and

> > > once I realized she was really going I spoke my mind to her about alot of

> > > things. And now I have this horrible guilt about how I should have begged

> > > her to stay for the sake of the kids (in fairness I did ask her before I

> > > started if there was anything at all I could say to make her stay...of

> > > course she said no because she's been threatening to leave but it was just

a

> > > matter of time.

> > >

> > > But i just have this horrible codependency in me right now about how I

> > > should have been completely humble and begged her to stay. and it

terrifies

> > > me what her kids are going to go through. I guess I would like to say if

> > > anyone can remember me and those kids in their prayers it would be

> > > appreciated. because there is really nothing anyone can do. it's done. I

am

> > > so sad, not knowing if I did or said the wrong or right thing or if it

even

> > > matters at all. it was just a bad day all around but now those precious

kids

> > > are gone and they are not coming back. it's such agony.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

thanks, you accurately described the situation but they apparently don't care

about emotional torment and since she is here (and my brother follows her

wherever she goes like a lost puppy because he is so whipped) we don't let it

get that messed up. I can't even get a case open. When I called and talked to

them about a month ago I felt like they responded to me as a meddling relative

who was just overly concerned. In my state cleaning is not ad criteria for

neglect, the environment has to be hazardous to the child, and apparently mental

abuse doesn't count.

> >

> > >

> > >

> > > There was a terrible confrontation with her today. I am unbelievably sad

> > > for her kids and what they are going to grow up in. Her kids are one and

two

> > > and already split good and bad. I am devastated for the two year old, whom

I

> > > am very close to and watch every day.

> > >

> > > I keep feeling that my mother, whom they actually lived with (I live in a

> > > different house on the land) may have been right about just bending over

and

> > > taking anything she dishes out no matter what in order to keep the kids

> > > here. She got up and said " i'm leaving' for like the millionth time, and

> > > once I realized she was really going I spoke my mind to her about alot of

> > > things. And now I have this horrible guilt about how I should have begged

> > > her to stay for the sake of the kids (in fairness I did ask her before I

> > > started if there was anything at all I could say to make her stay...of

> > > course she said no because she's been threatening to leave but it was just

a

> > > matter of time.

> > >

> > > But i just have this horrible codependency in me right now about how I

> > > should have been completely humble and begged her to stay. and it

terrifies

> > > me what her kids are going to go through. I guess I would like to say if

> > > anyone can remember me and those kids in their prayers it would be

> > > appreciated. because there is really nothing anyone can do. it's done. I

am

> > > so sad, not knowing if I did or said the wrong or right thing or if it

even

> > > matters at all. it was just a bad day all around but now those precious

kids

> > > are gone and they are not coming back. it's such agony.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

thanks, you accurately described the situation but they apparently don't care

about emotional torment and since she is here (and my brother follows her

wherever she goes like a lost puppy because he is so whipped) we don't let it

get that messed up. I can't even get a case open. When I called and talked to

them about a month ago I felt like they responded to me as a meddling relative

who was just overly concerned. In my state cleaning is not ad criteria for

neglect, the environment has to be hazardous to the child, and apparently mental

abuse doesn't count.

> >

> > >

> > >

> > > There was a terrible confrontation with her today. I am unbelievably sad

> > > for her kids and what they are going to grow up in. Her kids are one and

two

> > > and already split good and bad. I am devastated for the two year old, whom

I

> > > am very close to and watch every day.

> > >

> > > I keep feeling that my mother, whom they actually lived with (I live in a

> > > different house on the land) may have been right about just bending over

and

> > > taking anything she dishes out no matter what in order to keep the kids

> > > here. She got up and said " i'm leaving' for like the millionth time, and

> > > once I realized she was really going I spoke my mind to her about alot of

> > > things. And now I have this horrible guilt about how I should have begged

> > > her to stay for the sake of the kids (in fairness I did ask her before I

> > > started if there was anything at all I could say to make her stay...of

> > > course she said no because she's been threatening to leave but it was just

a

> > > matter of time.

> > >

> > > But i just have this horrible codependency in me right now about how I

> > > should have been completely humble and begged her to stay. and it

terrifies

> > > me what her kids are going to go through. I guess I would like to say if

> > > anyone can remember me and those kids in their prayers it would be

> > > appreciated. because there is really nothing anyone can do. it's done. I

am

> > > so sad, not knowing if I did or said the wrong or right thing or if it

even

> > > matters at all. it was just a bad day all around but now those precious

kids

> > > are gone and they are not coming back. it's such agony.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

thanks, I made that call and nothing came of it. This is the south and I guess

it's backwards down here. I am not giving up. i am just discouraged.

> >There was a terrible confrontation with her today. I am

> >unbelievably sad for her kids and what they are going to grow

> >up in. Her kids are one and two and already split good and bad.

> >I am devastated for the two year old, whom I am very close to

> >and watch every day.

> >

> >I keep feeling that my mother, whom they actually lived with (I

> >live in a different house on the land) may have been right

> >about just bending over and taking anything she dishes out no

> >matter what in order to keep the kids here. She got up and said

> > " i'm leaving' for like the millionth time, and once I realized

> >she was really going I spoke my mind to her about alot of

> >things. And now I have this horrible guilt about how I should

> >have begged her to stay for the sake of the kids (in fairness I

> >did ask her before I started if there was anything at all I

> >could say to make her stay...of course she said no because

> >she's been threatening to leave but it was just a matter of

> >time.

> >

> >But i just have this horrible codependency in me right now

> >about how I should have been completely humble and begged her

> >to stay. and it terrifies me what her kids are going to go

> >through. I guess I would like to say if anyone can remember me

> >and those kids in their prayers it would be appreciated.

> >because there is really nothing anyone can do. it's done. I am

> >so sad, not knowing if I did or said the wrong or right thing

> >or if it even matters at all. it was just a bad day all around

> >but now those precious kids are gone and they are not coming

> >back. it's such agony.

>

> --

> Katrina

>

[Guest guest]

thanks, I made that call and nothing came of it. This is the south and I guess

it's backwards down here. I am not giving up. i am just discouraged.

> >There was a terrible confrontation with her today. I am

> >unbelievably sad for her kids and what they are going to grow

> >up in. Her kids are one and two and already split good and bad.

> >I am devastated for the two year old, whom I am very close to

> >and watch every day.

> >

> >I keep feeling that my mother, whom they actually lived with (I

> >live in a different house on the land) may have been right

> >about just bending over and taking anything she dishes out no

> >matter what in order to keep the kids here. She got up and said

> > " i'm leaving' for like the millionth time, and once I realized

> >she was really going I spoke my mind to her about alot of

> >things. And now I have this horrible guilt about how I should

> >have begged her to stay for the sake of the kids (in fairness I

> >did ask her before I started if there was anything at all I

> >could say to make her stay...of course she said no because

> >she's been threatening to leave but it was just a matter of

> >time.

> >

> >But i just have this horrible codependency in me right now

> >about how I should have been completely humble and begged her

> >to stay. and it terrifies me what her kids are going to go

> >through. I guess I would like to say if anyone can remember me

> >and those kids in their prayers it would be appreciated.

> >because there is really nothing anyone can do. it's done. I am

> >so sad, not knowing if I did or said the wrong or right thing

> >or if it even matters at all. it was just a bad day all around

> >but now those precious kids are gone and they are not coming

> >back. it's such agony.

>

> --

> Katrina

>

[Guest guest]

thanks so much for sharing that detail, that gives me hope. I don't think they

will be removed as long as my brother stays married to her and if he divorces

her she will take them and leave and go to another town 3 hours away where her

family lives. My brothers role is that of a dog you are training to sit and beg

for a treat. She holds out the treat and he puts his paws up in begging

position, she gives him the treat and pats him on the head, and he sits there

with his tongue lolling out like an idiot. Just like the borderline that ruined

my other brother's life and is now ruining his child's life, she controls him

through sex. She will use him up, chew him up, and spit him out and leave him

with nothing, taking the kids and moving on to her next victim. He will go

through hell and high water to get custody of his kids, and he will probably

fail. She will end up in a trailer somewhere or on section 8 and welfare,

selling prescription drugs out the back door. After a point they won't be in our

lives. I just saw my other brother's child for the first time in 7 years this

last month.

My other brother tells a story of when he had lost it all, even contact with his

child, was sleeping in his car. It broke down, and he had to walk 3 miles to

work. He had to walk back to the garage and pick up an alternator for his car on

the way. They gave him the wrong alternator so he had to walk back to the parts

store and get another one. On the way he went to a 'mart and bought a pack of

underwear, then while walking back to his car he met a homeless man begging for

money and he said that he told the guy, 'I don't have any money but I did just

buy some underwear', so he gives the homeless guy the pack of underwear, for

which the guy was incredibly grateful. So whenever I talk about my youngest

brother and his idiot blindness with regards to this woman I always say he is

going to end up just like my other brother, sleeping in his car and giving out

underwear to homeless people, that that is what marriage to a borderline can do

to you.

> > >

> > > There was a terrible confrontation with her today. I am unbelievably sad

for her kids and what they are going to grow up in. Her kids are one and two and

already split good and bad. I am devastated for the two year old, whom I am very

close to and watch every day.

> > >

> > > I keep feeling that my mother, whom they actually lived with (I live in a

different house on the land) may have been right about just bending over and

taking anything she dishes out no matter what in order to keep the kids here.

She got up and said " i'm leaving' for like the millionth time, and once I

realized she was really going I spoke my mind to her about alot of things. And

now I have this horrible guilt about how I should have begged her to stay for

the sake of the kids (in fairness I did ask her before I started if there was

anything at all I could say to make her stay...of course she said no because

she's been threatening to leave but it was just a matter of time.

> > >

> > > But i just have this horrible codependency in me right now about how I

should have been completely humble and begged her to stay. and it terrifies me

what her kids are going to go through. I guess I would like to say if anyone can

remember me and those kids in their prayers it would be appreciated. because

there is really nothing anyone can do. it's done. I am so sad, not knowing if I

did or said the wrong or right thing or if it even matters at all. it was just a

bad day all around but now those precious kids are gone and they are not coming

back. it's such agony.

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

thanks so much for sharing that detail, that gives me hope. I don't think they

will be removed as long as my brother stays married to her and if he divorces

her she will take them and leave and go to another town 3 hours away where her

family lives. My brothers role is that of a dog you are training to sit and beg

for a treat. She holds out the treat and he puts his paws up in begging

position, she gives him the treat and pats him on the head, and he sits there

with his tongue lolling out like an idiot. Just like the borderline that ruined

my other brother's life and is now ruining his child's life, she controls him

through sex. She will use him up, chew him up, and spit him out and leave him

with nothing, taking the kids and moving on to her next victim. He will go

through hell and high water to get custody of his kids, and he will probably

fail. She will end up in a trailer somewhere or on section 8 and welfare,

selling prescription drugs out the back door. After a point they won't be in our

lives. I just saw my other brother's child for the first time in 7 years this

last month.

My other brother tells a story of when he had lost it all, even contact with his

child, was sleeping in his car. It broke down, and he had to walk 3 miles to

work. He had to walk back to the garage and pick up an alternator for his car on

the way. They gave him the wrong alternator so he had to walk back to the parts

store and get another one. On the way he went to a 'mart and bought a pack of

underwear, then while walking back to his car he met a homeless man begging for

money and he said that he told the guy, 'I don't have any money but I did just

buy some underwear', so he gives the homeless guy the pack of underwear, for

which the guy was incredibly grateful. So whenever I talk about my youngest

brother and his idiot blindness with regards to this woman I always say he is

going to end up just like my other brother, sleeping in his car and giving out

underwear to homeless people, that that is what marriage to a borderline can do

to you.

> > >

> > > There was a terrible confrontation with her today. I am unbelievably sad

for her kids and what they are going to grow up in. Her kids are one and two and

already split good and bad. I am devastated for the two year old, whom I am very

close to and watch every day.

> > >

> > > I keep feeling that my mother, whom they actually lived with (I live in a

different house on the land) may have been right about just bending over and

taking anything she dishes out no matter what in order to keep the kids here.

She got up and said " i'm leaving' for like the millionth time, and once I

realized she was really going I spoke my mind to her about alot of things. And

now I have this horrible guilt about how I should have begged her to stay for

the sake of the kids (in fairness I did ask her before I started if there was

anything at all I could say to make her stay...of course she said no because

she's been threatening to leave but it was just a matter of time.

> > >

> > > But i just have this horrible codependency in me right now about how I

should have been completely humble and begged her to stay. and it terrifies me

what her kids are going to go through. I guess I would like to say if anyone can

remember me and those kids in their prayers it would be appreciated. because

there is really nothing anyone can do. it's done. I am so sad, not knowing if I

did or said the wrong or right thing or if it even matters at all. it was just a

bad day all around but now those precious kids are gone and they are not coming

back. it's such agony.

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

thanks so much for sharing that detail, that gives me hope. I don't think they

will be removed as long as my brother stays married to her and if he divorces

her she will take them and leave and go to another town 3 hours away where her

family lives. My brothers role is that of a dog you are training to sit and beg

for a treat. She holds out the treat and he puts his paws up in begging

position, she gives him the treat and pats him on the head, and he sits there

with his tongue lolling out like an idiot. Just like the borderline that ruined

my other brother's life and is now ruining his child's life, she controls him

through sex. She will use him up, chew him up, and spit him out and leave him

with nothing, taking the kids and moving on to her next victim. He will go

through hell and high water to get custody of his kids, and he will probably

fail. She will end up in a trailer somewhere or on section 8 and welfare,

selling prescription drugs out the back door. After a point they won't be in our

lives. I just saw my other brother's child for the first time in 7 years this

last month.

My other brother tells a story of when he had lost it all, even contact with his

child, was sleeping in his car. It broke down, and he had to walk 3 miles to

work. He had to walk back to the garage and pick up an alternator for his car on

the way. They gave him the wrong alternator so he had to walk back to the parts

store and get another one. On the way he went to a 'mart and bought a pack of

underwear, then while walking back to his car he met a homeless man begging for

money and he said that he told the guy, 'I don't have any money but I did just

buy some underwear', so he gives the homeless guy the pack of underwear, for

which the guy was incredibly grateful. So whenever I talk about my youngest

brother and his idiot blindness with regards to this woman I always say he is

going to end up just like my other brother, sleeping in his car and giving out

underwear to homeless people, that that is what marriage to a borderline can do

to you.

> > >

> > > There was a terrible confrontation with her today. I am unbelievably sad

for her kids and what they are going to grow up in. Her kids are one and two and

already split good and bad. I am devastated for the two year old, whom I am very

close to and watch every day.

> > >

> > > I keep feeling that my mother, whom they actually lived with (I live in a

different house on the land) may have been right about just bending over and

taking anything she dishes out no matter what in order to keep the kids here.

She got up and said " i'm leaving' for like the millionth time, and once I

realized she was really going I spoke my mind to her about alot of things. And

now I have this horrible guilt about how I should have begged her to stay for

the sake of the kids (in fairness I did ask her before I started if there was

anything at all I could say to make her stay...of course she said no because

she's been threatening to leave but it was just a matter of time.

> > >

> > > But i just have this horrible codependency in me right now about how I

should have been completely humble and begged her to stay. and it terrifies me

what her kids are going to go through. I guess I would like to say if anyone can

remember me and those kids in their prayers it would be appreciated. because

there is really nothing anyone can do. it's done. I am so sad, not knowing if I

did or said the wrong or right thing or if it even matters at all. it was just a

bad day all around but now those precious kids are gone and they are not coming

back. it's such agony.

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

(((((Joe)))))

You must just be beside yourself with frustration and anguish. It really is

sickening that the public will get all hot and bothered and righteously angry

when its little pet animals that are being neglected and mistreated. Neighbors

will come outside and loudly demand that the ASPCA do something about a bad pet

owner who neglects his puppy or beats it until it shrieks and yelps, yet

children are just supposed to " take it " and " bounce back. "

At least the little ones are back for a while where you and your mother can

offer them face to face attention and affection, calmness, and stability.

I read an article recently that said that a child's personality is pretty much

set by age 6 (an individual's personality is formed partly by inborn genetic

temperament traits, and partly by experience/environment) so the more positive,

loving, nurturing experiences you can give these children the better off they'll

be.

Bless your heart for caring about them.

-Annie

> >

> > There was a terrible confrontation with her today. I am unbelievably sad for

her kids and what they are going to grow up in. Her kids are one and two and

already split good and bad. I am devastated for the two year old, whom I am very

close to and watch every day.

> >

> > I keep feeling that my mother, whom they actually lived with (I live in a

different house on the land) may have been right about just bending over and

taking anything she dishes out no matter what in order to keep the kids here.

She got up and said " i'm leaving' for like the millionth time, and once I

realized she was really going I spoke my mind to her about alot of things. And

now I have this horrible guilt about how I should have begged her to stay for

the sake of the kids (in fairness I did ask her before I started if there was

anything at all I could say to make her stay...of course she said no because

she's been threatening to leave but it was just a matter of time.

> >

> > But i just have this horrible codependency in me right now about how I

should have been completely humble and begged her to stay. and it terrifies me

what her kids are going to go through. I guess I would like to say if anyone can

remember me and those kids in their prayers it would be appreciated. because

there is really nothing anyone can do. it's done. I am so sad, not knowing if I

did or said the wrong or right thing or if it even matters at all. it was just a

bad day all around but now those precious kids are gone and they are not coming

back. it's such agony.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

(((((Joe)))))

You must just be beside yourself with frustration and anguish. It really is

sickening that the public will get all hot and bothered and righteously angry

when its little pet animals that are being neglected and mistreated. Neighbors

will come outside and loudly demand that the ASPCA do something about a bad pet

owner who neglects his puppy or beats it until it shrieks and yelps, yet

children are just supposed to " take it " and " bounce back. "

At least the little ones are back for a while where you and your mother can

offer them face to face attention and affection, calmness, and stability.

I read an article recently that said that a child's personality is pretty much

set by age 6 (an individual's personality is formed partly by inborn genetic

temperament traits, and partly by experience/environment) so the more positive,

loving, nurturing experiences you can give these children the better off they'll

be.

Bless your heart for caring about them.

-Annie

> >

> > There was a terrible confrontation with her today. I am unbelievably sad for

her kids and what they are going to grow up in. Her kids are one and two and

already split good and bad. I am devastated for the two year old, whom I am very

close to and watch every day.

> >

> > I keep feeling that my mother, whom they actually lived with (I live in a

different house on the land) may have been right about just bending over and

taking anything she dishes out no matter what in order to keep the kids here.

She got up and said " i'm leaving' for like the millionth time, and once I

realized she was really going I spoke my mind to her about alot of things. And

now I have this horrible guilt about how I should have begged her to stay for

the sake of the kids (in fairness I did ask her before I started if there was

anything at all I could say to make her stay...of course she said no because

she's been threatening to leave but it was just a matter of time.

> >

> > But i just have this horrible codependency in me right now about how I

should have been completely humble and begged her to stay. and it terrifies me

what her kids are going to go through. I guess I would like to say if anyone can

remember me and those kids in their prayers it would be appreciated. because

there is really nothing anyone can do. it's done. I am so sad, not knowing if I

did or said the wrong or right thing or if it even matters at all. it was just a

bad day all around but now those precious kids are gone and they are not coming

back. it's such agony.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

(((((Joe)))))

You must just be beside yourself with frustration and anguish. It really is

sickening that the public will get all hot and bothered and righteously angry

when its little pet animals that are being neglected and mistreated. Neighbors

will come outside and loudly demand that the ASPCA do something about a bad pet

owner who neglects his puppy or beats it until it shrieks and yelps, yet

children are just supposed to " take it " and " bounce back. "

At least the little ones are back for a while where you and your mother can

offer them face to face attention and affection, calmness, and stability.

I read an article recently that said that a child's personality is pretty much

set by age 6 (an individual's personality is formed partly by inborn genetic

temperament traits, and partly by experience/environment) so the more positive,

loving, nurturing experiences you can give these children the better off they'll

be.

Bless your heart for caring about them.

-Annie

> >

> > There was a terrible confrontation with her today. I am unbelievably sad for

her kids and what they are going to grow up in. Her kids are one and two and

already split good and bad. I am devastated for the two year old, whom I am very

close to and watch every day.

> >

> > I keep feeling that my mother, whom they actually lived with (I live in a

different house on the land) may have been right about just bending over and

taking anything she dishes out no matter what in order to keep the kids here.

She got up and said " i'm leaving' for like the millionth time, and once I

realized she was really going I spoke my mind to her about alot of things. And

now I have this horrible guilt about how I should have begged her to stay for

the sake of the kids (in fairness I did ask her before I started if there was

anything at all I could say to make her stay...of course she said no because

she's been threatening to leave but it was just a matter of time.

> >

> > But i just have this horrible codependency in me right now about how I

should have been completely humble and begged her to stay. and it terrifies me

what her kids are going to go through. I guess I would like to say if anyone can

remember me and those kids in their prayers it would be appreciated. because

there is really nothing anyone can do. it's done. I am so sad, not knowing if I

did or said the wrong or right thing or if it even matters at all. it was just a

bad day all around but now those precious kids are gone and they are not coming

back. it's such agony.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Oh, for cryin' out loud - tell your brother that a whole bunch of people want to

send him a message - it's time to grow a spine and be a father! It's much

easier for him to find another source of sex than it is for his kids to grow up

with a crazy woman and nobody to protect them.

> > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > There was a terrible confrontation with her today. I am unbelievably sad

> > > > for her kids and what they are going to grow up in. Her kids are one and

two

> > > > and already split good and bad. I am devastated for the two year old,

whom I

> > > > am very close to and watch every day.

> > > >

> > > > I keep feeling that my mother, whom they actually lived with (I live in

a

> > > > different house on the land) may have been right about just bending over

and

> > > > taking anything she dishes out no matter what in order to keep the kids

> > > > here. She got up and said " i'm leaving' for like the millionth time, and

> > > > once I realized she was really going I spoke my mind to her about alot

of

> > > > things. And now I have this horrible guilt about how I should have

begged

> > > > her to stay for the sake of the kids (in fairness I did ask her before I

> > > > started if there was anything at all I could say to make her stay...of

> > > > course she said no because she's been threatening to leave but it was

just a

> > > > matter of time.

> > > >

> > > > But i just have this horrible codependency in me right now about how I

> > > > should have been completely humble and begged her to stay. and it

terrifies

> > > > me what her kids are going to go through. I guess I would like to say if

> > > > anyone can remember me and those kids in their prayers it would be

> > > > appreciated. because there is really nothing anyone can do. it's done. I

am

> > > > so sad, not knowing if I did or said the wrong or right thing or if it

even

> > > > matters at all. it was just a bad day all around but now those precious

kids

> > > > are gone and they are not coming back. it's such agony.

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

Oh, for cryin' out loud - tell your brother that a whole bunch of people want to

send him a message - it's time to grow a spine and be a father! It's much

easier for him to find another source of sex than it is for his kids to grow up

with a crazy woman and nobody to protect them.

> > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > There was a terrible confrontation with her today. I am unbelievably sad

> > > > for her kids and what they are going to grow up in. Her kids are one and

two

> > > > and already split good and bad. I am devastated for the two year old,

whom I

> > > > am very close to and watch every day.

> > > >

> > > > I keep feeling that my mother, whom they actually lived with (I live in

a

> > > > different house on the land) may have been right about just bending over

and

> > > > taking anything she dishes out no matter what in order to keep the kids

> > > > here. She got up and said " i'm leaving' for like the millionth time, and

> > > > once I realized she was really going I spoke my mind to her about alot

of

> > > > things. And now I have this horrible guilt about how I should have

begged

> > > > her to stay for the sake of the kids (in fairness I did ask her before I

> > > > started if there was anything at all I could say to make her stay...of

> > > > course she said no because she's been threatening to leave but it was

just a

> > > > matter of time.

> > > >

> > > > But i just have this horrible codependency in me right now about how I

> > > > should have been completely humble and begged her to stay. and it

terrifies

> > > > me what her kids are going to go through. I guess I would like to say if

> > > > anyone can remember me and those kids in their prayers it would be

> > > > appreciated. because there is really nothing anyone can do. it's done. I

am

> > > > so sad, not knowing if I did or said the wrong or right thing or if it

even

> > > > matters at all. it was just a bad day all around but now those precious

kids

> > > > are gone and they are not coming back. it's such agony.

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

well, it's like this. he works full time. when he comes home she 'clocks out'

and he cares for both kids, gets them dinner, etc...sometimes he doesn't get

dinner til ten oclock at night, after he has put them to bed. on the weekends,

he cares for both of them all day long both days. Between work and being in

charge of them at all hours when he is home while she sleeps or surfs the

internet, he really doesn't have time to breathe. And that's all she does during

the day as well, facebook and internet games. No cleaning at all, no laundry, no

bill paying, no nothing that someone in a partnership does. She microwaves the

kids some lunch at noon and then might make them some macaroni or something for

dinner. That's it. Everything else, he does when he gets home from work. I think

he's probably too tired to think most of the time. It wouldn't work for me, but

then I am female and probably would be able to get custody.

If he grows a spine, and tries to assert any authority, she will leave and take

his kids. He has a snowball's chance in Hades of getting custody. My other

borderline sister-in-law got hooked on meth and arrested for 'disturbing the

peace' which a cop told my brother was prostitution knocked down to a lower

charge, and he STILL couldn't get custody, and doesn't have it to this day. It

really is a different perspective on disrag dads. Every time something happens

this woman doesn't like, she picks up both kids and says, " I'm leaving " . After

witnessing my other brother's custody battle, none of us have any faith whatever

he will be able to gain custody of these children. It sucks.

> > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > There was a terrible confrontation with her today. I am unbelievably

sad

> > > > > for her kids and what they are going to grow up in. Her kids are one

and two

> > > > > and already split good and bad. I am devastated for the two year old,

whom I

> > > > > am very close to and watch every day.

> > > > >

> > > > > I keep feeling that my mother, whom they actually lived with (I live

in a

> > > > > different house on the land) may have been right about just bending

over and

> > > > > taking anything she dishes out no matter what in order to keep the

kids

> > > > > here. She got up and said " i'm leaving' for like the millionth time,

and

> > > > > once I realized she was really going I spoke my mind to her about alot

of

> > > > > things. And now I have this horrible guilt about how I should have

begged

> > > > > her to stay for the sake of the kids (in fairness I did ask her before

I

> > > > > started if there was anything at all I could say to make her stay...of

> > > > > course she said no because she's been threatening to leave but it was

just a

> > > > > matter of time.

> > > > >

> > > > > But i just have this horrible codependency in me right now about how I

> > > > > should have been completely humble and begged her to stay. and it

terrifies

> > > > > me what her kids are going to go through. I guess I would like to say

if

> > > > > anyone can remember me and those kids in their prayers it would be

> > > > > appreciated. because there is really nothing anyone can do. it's done.

I am

> > > > > so sad, not knowing if I did or said the wrong or right thing or if it

even

> > > > > matters at all. it was just a bad day all around but now those

precious kids

> > > > > are gone and they are not coming back. it's such agony.

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

well, it's like this. he works full time. when he comes home she 'clocks out'

and he cares for both kids, gets them dinner, etc...sometimes he doesn't get

dinner til ten oclock at night, after he has put them to bed. on the weekends,

he cares for both of them all day long both days. Between work and being in

charge of them at all hours when he is home while she sleeps or surfs the

internet, he really doesn't have time to breathe. And that's all she does during

the day as well, facebook and internet games. No cleaning at all, no laundry, no

bill paying, no nothing that someone in a partnership does. She microwaves the

kids some lunch at noon and then might make them some macaroni or something for

dinner. That's it. Everything else, he does when he gets home from work. I think

he's probably too tired to think most of the time. It wouldn't work for me, but

then I am female and probably would be able to get custody.

If he grows a spine, and tries to assert any authority, she will leave and take

his kids. He has a snowball's chance in Hades of getting custody. My other

borderline sister-in-law got hooked on meth and arrested for 'disturbing the

peace' which a cop told my brother was prostitution knocked down to a lower

charge, and he STILL couldn't get custody, and doesn't have it to this day. It

really is a different perspective on disrag dads. Every time something happens

this woman doesn't like, she picks up both kids and says, " I'm leaving " . After

witnessing my other brother's custody battle, none of us have any faith whatever

he will be able to gain custody of these children. It sucks.

> > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > There was a terrible confrontation with her today. I am unbelievably

sad

> > > > > for her kids and what they are going to grow up in. Her kids are one

and two

> > > > > and already split good and bad. I am devastated for the two year old,

whom I

> > > > > am very close to and watch every day.

> > > > >

> > > > > I keep feeling that my mother, whom they actually lived with (I live

in a

> > > > > different house on the land) may have been right about just bending

over and

> > > > > taking anything she dishes out no matter what in order to keep the

kids

> > > > > here. She got up and said " i'm leaving' for like the millionth time,

and

> > > > > once I realized she was really going I spoke my mind to her about alot

of

> > > > > things. And now I have this horrible guilt about how I should have

begged

> > > > > her to stay for the sake of the kids (in fairness I did ask her before

I

> > > > > started if there was anything at all I could say to make her stay...of

> > > > > course she said no because she's been threatening to leave but it was

just a

> > > > > matter of time.

> > > > >

> > > > > But i just have this horrible codependency in me right now about how I

> > > > > should have been completely humble and begged her to stay. and it

terrifies

> > > > > me what her kids are going to go through. I guess I would like to say

if

> > > > > anyone can remember me and those kids in their prayers it would be

> > > > > appreciated. because there is really nothing anyone can do. it's done.

I am

> > > > > so sad, not knowing if I did or said the wrong or right thing or if it

even

> > > > > matters at all. it was just a bad day all around but now those

precious kids

> > > > > are gone and they are not coming back. it's such agony.

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

well, it's like this. he works full time. when he comes home she 'clocks out'

and he cares for both kids, gets them dinner, etc...sometimes he doesn't get

dinner til ten oclock at night, after he has put them to bed. on the weekends,

he cares for both of them all day long both days. Between work and being in

charge of them at all hours when he is home while she sleeps or surfs the

internet, he really doesn't have time to breathe. And that's all she does during

the day as well, facebook and internet games. No cleaning at all, no laundry, no

bill paying, no nothing that someone in a partnership does. She microwaves the

kids some lunch at noon and then might make them some macaroni or something for

dinner. That's it. Everything else, he does when he gets home from work. I think

he's probably too tired to think most of the time. It wouldn't work for me, but

then I am female and probably would be able to get custody.

If he grows a spine, and tries to assert any authority, she will leave and take

his kids. He has a snowball's chance in Hades of getting custody. My other

borderline sister-in-law got hooked on meth and arrested for 'disturbing the

peace' which a cop told my brother was prostitution knocked down to a lower

charge, and he STILL couldn't get custody, and doesn't have it to this day. It

really is a different perspective on disrag dads. Every time something happens

this woman doesn't like, she picks up both kids and says, " I'm leaving " . After

witnessing my other brother's custody battle, none of us have any faith whatever

he will be able to gain custody of these children. It sucks.

> > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > There was a terrible confrontation with her today. I am unbelievably

sad

> > > > > for her kids and what they are going to grow up in. Her kids are one

and two

> > > > > and already split good and bad. I am devastated for the two year old,

whom I

> > > > > am very close to and watch every day.

> > > > >

> > > > > I keep feeling that my mother, whom they actually lived with (I live

in a

> > > > > different house on the land) may have been right about just bending

over and

> > > > > taking anything she dishes out no matter what in order to keep the

kids

> > > > > here. She got up and said " i'm leaving' for like the millionth time,

and

> > > > > once I realized she was really going I spoke my mind to her about alot

of

> > > > > things. And now I have this horrible guilt about how I should have

begged

> > > > > her to stay for the sake of the kids (in fairness I did ask her before

I

> > > > > started if there was anything at all I could say to make her stay...of

> > > > > course she said no because she's been threatening to leave but it was

just a

> > > > > matter of time.

> > > > >

> > > > > But i just have this horrible codependency in me right now about how I

> > > > > should have been completely humble and begged her to stay. and it

terrifies

> > > > > me what her kids are going to go through. I guess I would like to say

if

> > > > > anyone can remember me and those kids in their prayers it would be

> > > > > appreciated. because there is really nothing anyone can do. it's done.

I am

> > > > > so sad, not knowing if I did or said the wrong or right thing or if it

even

> > > > > matters at all. it was just a bad day all around but now those

precious kids

> > > > > are gone and they are not coming back. it's such agony.

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

thanks, yeah, my parents left down for the weekend so they are here and for all

we know they may have slithered back in. really not sure what is going on with

them.

I wasn't there when bpd SIL came back but my mother said she made a great big

dramatic show by sitting in the den and crying her eyes out and then going in

the kids bedroom (which she did not clean or vaccum one single time in ten

months) and sitting in the rocking chair and crying for about ten minutes. She's

a wack job. On top of that my mother cried off and on all day friday, and with

that bpd narcissism she has to make that someone else's problem, and then their

is my npd saying over and over " I'm not taking any responsibility for this " when

in fact he was the one that incited it by cursing at her and slamming the back

door so hard it got jammed shut, which has never happened before. So I'm kind of

glad the parental units left town and glad the witch-queen and her slave and

spawn are camping out here for the weekend because at least the kids are safe.

The worst of all this is seeing her hurt the two year old, whom she has split

black (he has some sensory delays and resentment toward his brother but that is

ALL her fault for abandoning him completely when the one year old was born.) I

think in general to adults she is definitely a queen but she has definite witch

tendencies toward the two year old. I confronted her about some of it but this

weekend has been typical, my brother in the den caring for both kids while she

has her head jammed up in facebook, as usual. Literally at the other house the

water and lights would get turned off because she would not take responsibility

for any of that stuff and he wouldn't keep up with it. They actually aren't on

drugs. It's bizarre. But he told my mother he is going to " man up " and take

control of his family, this weekend. I told him a while back that he was going

to have to accept that he was going to have to do anything and everything that

got done in his house, that she would never change, that he would have to hire a

maid because she absolutely will not clean, etc, etc, etc.

He's just in denial still. My sense is by the time he comes out of it it will

be too late.

i am trying very hard to take this one day at a time do I don't go out of my

mind. I hope they will stay a while but they are killing my dad and ruining my

parents already rocky marriage. It's just a mess. I'm just glad the kids are

here for today.

> > >

> > > There was a terrible confrontation with her today. I am unbelievably sad

for her kids and what they are going to grow up in. Her kids are one and two and

already split good and bad. I am devastated for the two year old, whom I am very

close to and watch every day.

> > >

> > > I keep feeling that my mother, whom they actually lived with (I live in a

different house on the land) may have been right about just bending over and

taking anything she dishes out no matter what in order to keep the kids here.

She got up and said " i'm leaving' for like the millionth time, and once I

realized she was really going I spoke my mind to her about alot of things. And

now I have this horrible guilt about how I should have begged her to stay for

the sake of the kids (in fairness I did ask her before I started if there was

anything at all I could say to make her stay...of course she said no because

she's been threatening to leave but it was just a matter of time.

> > >

> > > But i just have this horrible codependency in me right now about how I

should have been completely humble and begged her to stay. and it terrifies me

what her kids are going to go through. I guess I would like to say if anyone can

remember me and those kids in their prayers it would be appreciated. because

there is really nothing anyone can do. it's done. I am so sad, not knowing if I

did or said the wrong or right thing or if it even matters at all. it was just a

bad day all around but now those precious kids are gone and they are not coming

back. it's such agony.

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

thanks, yeah, my parents left down for the weekend so they are here and for all

we know they may have slithered back in. really not sure what is going on with

them.

I wasn't there when bpd SIL came back but my mother said she made a great big

dramatic show by sitting in the den and crying her eyes out and then going in

the kids bedroom (which she did not clean or vaccum one single time in ten

months) and sitting in the rocking chair and crying for about ten minutes. She's

a wack job. On top of that my mother cried off and on all day friday, and with

that bpd narcissism she has to make that someone else's problem, and then their

is my npd saying over and over " I'm not taking any responsibility for this " when

in fact he was the one that incited it by cursing at her and slamming the back

door so hard it got jammed shut, which has never happened before. So I'm kind of

glad the parental units left town and glad the witch-queen and her slave and

spawn are camping out here for the weekend because at least the kids are safe.

The worst of all this is seeing her hurt the two year old, whom she has split

black (he has some sensory delays and resentment toward his brother but that is

ALL her fault for abandoning him completely when the one year old was born.) I

think in general to adults she is definitely a queen but she has definite witch

tendencies toward the two year old. I confronted her about some of it but this

weekend has been typical, my brother in the den caring for both kids while she

has her head jammed up in facebook, as usual. Literally at the other house the

water and lights would get turned off because she would not take responsibility

for any of that stuff and he wouldn't keep up with it. They actually aren't on

drugs. It's bizarre. But he told my mother he is going to " man up " and take

control of his family, this weekend. I told him a while back that he was going

to have to accept that he was going to have to do anything and everything that

got done in his house, that she would never change, that he would have to hire a

maid because she absolutely will not clean, etc, etc, etc.

He's just in denial still. My sense is by the time he comes out of it it will

be too late.

i am trying very hard to take this one day at a time do I don't go out of my

mind. I hope they will stay a while but they are killing my dad and ruining my

parents already rocky marriage. It's just a mess. I'm just glad the kids are

here for today.

> > >

> > > There was a terrible confrontation with her today. I am unbelievably sad

for her kids and what they are going to grow up in. Her kids are one and two and

already split good and bad. I am devastated for the two year old, whom I am very

close to and watch every day.

> > >

> > > I keep feeling that my mother, whom they actually lived with (I live in a

different house on the land) may have been right about just bending over and

taking anything she dishes out no matter what in order to keep the kids here.

She got up and said " i'm leaving' for like the millionth time, and once I

realized she was really going I spoke my mind to her about alot of things. And

now I have this horrible guilt about how I should have begged her to stay for

the sake of the kids (in fairness I did ask her before I started if there was

anything at all I could say to make her stay...of course she said no because

she's been threatening to leave but it was just a matter of time.

> > >

> > > But i just have this horrible codependency in me right now about how I

should have been completely humble and begged her to stay. and it terrifies me

what her kids are going to go through. I guess I would like to say if anyone can

remember me and those kids in their prayers it would be appreciated. because

there is really nothing anyone can do. it's done. I am so sad, not knowing if I

did or said the wrong or right thing or if it even matters at all. it was just a

bad day all around but now those precious kids are gone and they are not coming

back. it's such agony.

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

thanks, yeah, my parents left down for the weekend so they are here and for all

we know they may have slithered back in. really not sure what is going on with

them.

I wasn't there when bpd SIL came back but my mother said she made a great big

dramatic show by sitting in the den and crying her eyes out and then going in

the kids bedroom (which she did not clean or vaccum one single time in ten

months) and sitting in the rocking chair and crying for about ten minutes. She's

a wack job. On top of that my mother cried off and on all day friday, and with

that bpd narcissism she has to make that someone else's problem, and then their

is my npd saying over and over " I'm not taking any responsibility for this " when

in fact he was the one that incited it by cursing at her and slamming the back

door so hard it got jammed shut, which has never happened before. So I'm kind of

glad the parental units left town and glad the witch-queen and her slave and

spawn are camping out here for the weekend because at least the kids are safe.

The worst of all this is seeing her hurt the two year old, whom she has split

black (he has some sensory delays and resentment toward his brother but that is

ALL her fault for abandoning him completely when the one year old was born.) I

think in general to adults she is definitely a queen but she has definite witch

tendencies toward the two year old. I confronted her about some of it but this

weekend has been typical, my brother in the den caring for both kids while she

has her head jammed up in facebook, as usual. Literally at the other house the

water and lights would get turned off because she would not take responsibility

for any of that stuff and he wouldn't keep up with it. They actually aren't on

drugs. It's bizarre. But he told my mother he is going to " man up " and take

control of his family, this weekend. I told him a while back that he was going

to have to accept that he was going to have to do anything and everything that

got done in his house, that she would never change, that he would have to hire a

maid because she absolutely will not clean, etc, etc, etc.

He's just in denial still. My sense is by the time he comes out of it it will

be too late.

i am trying very hard to take this one day at a time do I don't go out of my

mind. I hope they will stay a while but they are killing my dad and ruining my

parents already rocky marriage. It's just a mess. I'm just glad the kids are

here for today.

> > >

> > > There was a terrible confrontation with her today. I am unbelievably sad

for her kids and what they are going to grow up in. Her kids are one and two and

already split good and bad. I am devastated for the two year old, whom I am very

close to and watch every day.

> > >

> > > I keep feeling that my mother, whom they actually lived with (I live in a

different house on the land) may have been right about just bending over and

taking anything she dishes out no matter what in order to keep the kids here.

She got up and said " i'm leaving' for like the millionth time, and once I

realized she was really going I spoke my mind to her about alot of things. And

now I have this horrible guilt about how I should have begged her to stay for

the sake of the kids (in fairness I did ask her before I started if there was

anything at all I could say to make her stay...of course she said no because

she's been threatening to leave but it was just a matter of time.

> > >

> > > But i just have this horrible codependency in me right now about how I

should have been completely humble and begged her to stay. and it terrifies me

what her kids are going to go through. I guess I would like to say if anyone can

remember me and those kids in their prayers it would be appreciated. because

there is really nothing anyone can do. it's done. I am so sad, not knowing if I

did or said the wrong or right thing or if it even matters at all. it was just a

bad day all around but now those precious kids are gone and they are not coming

back. it's such agony.

> > >

> >

>