excited but really scared - help?

[Guest guest]

I am new to all this and on the one hand am feeling very hopeful about healing

my relationship to food and on the other hand am finding this surprisingly (tho'

really I shouldn't be surprised) terrifying.

DH and I did our crazy fun shopping spree Sat. night, buying all kinds of

formerly forbidden foods, in quantity.

I've had moments these last few days that have been exciting. One was when I

was stressed at work and admitted to myself I wasn't physically hungry and sat

with the stress even tho' it was hard, instead of eating. Another was an aha

moment about connecting with my physical hunger. And still another not only

exciting but profound moment was when I found myself thinking it's really

possible for me to learn through this approach to eating, deep down inside that

my needs will be met - I had a glimpse of how profound the healing from this can

be for all of life, not only about food.

But then, ah, the terror. I've been struggling with once I've eaten certain

foods when hungry, then I can't seem to stop even when not hungry. I go back to

questioning whether I have an allergy or addiction that makes me crave more,

more, more once I start, rather like an alcoholic. And yet, I so want to learn

to trust my body. This just feels so right! But, I question, will I really be

able to do it? It's very hard!

I've often said, I have many virtues but patience has never been one of them. I

want to be patient and know at the early stages of this, my behavior is likely

to be expected. But it's scary. I don't want the discomfort of more weight. I

don't want to have to buy new clothes.

How do you get to where you decide in favor of wanting to feel light and free

when hiking come spring (just my own example), instead of in favor of the next

bites of the chocolate or graham crackers? I know my body wants the former.

But I'm still choosing the latter.

Help?

Thanks for being there,