Guest guest Posted November 15, 2010 Report Share Posted November 15, 2010 hi Jami, I can totally relate to your post. It is so confusing at times. I seem to need to have " something " (first it was peanut butter, banana & whole grain toast, then brie with pretzels) for about a month it seems EVERY DAY!!!!! either until it is gone (the brie) or I am just plain sick of it (the toast). LOL I didn't eat a lot of those things (unlike the cake for those couple of days. I would just take one piece of toast or a handful of pretzels with a few thin slices of cheese as part of my lunch. Lately it has been the one slice of pesto pizza that I seem to want after every gym workout. Today I sort of made up my mind that I didn't really need it today BUT my feet made their way over to the pizza place anyway & boy, did I enjoy that piece. Funny, even though every time I have a piece of that yummy pizza, I want another one but then I tell myself " let's just sit with this piece in the tummy for awhile & if you still want it, & if we do go and order another one. " In the month that I have been eating pizza there I have NEVER ordered that second piece. I definitely think that for me there is something about the numbing of the emotional state that has me getting piece after piece of cake when I am NOT at all hungry. I really need to be the non-judgmental OBSERVER & CURIOSITY seeker when that is happening & dig deeper into the WHY. That's the only way that I will be able to change the behavior is by being conscious of how & why it happens. mj > > > > > > > > > What was going on for you when you were reaching into your desk for those > > > hidden candy bars? What were you feeling - bored, anxious,.....? How did > > > you feel when you covered over the empty wrappers with paper? Why did you > > > feel this way? > > > > > > ~~~ > > > I have actually given a lot of thought into your questions (above). I > > > know the experts believe we are eating out of some feelings, like boredom, > > > sadness etc. What was I really feeling? Honestly, I was at work doing my job > > > that I love, when I was suddenly hit with an urge to eat the candy. I > > > told myself I didn't really want that...I had promised myself not to do that, > > > my face is already a mess from previous encounters with the candy and yet > > > those overwhelming thoughts of the candy continued. Even as I was reaching > > > into the drawer for them, I kept telling myself not to do it. Even as I > > > was pulling off the wrappers and chewing the candy. I wasn't bored, > > > stressed, hurt, sad, lonely none of it. I was an addict going for my drug and > > > ruining my life yet another inch. How did I feel when I covered it with paper? > > > I was ashamed of my weakness, yet again, Why did I feel this > > > way...because I am a fat person with a garbage can full of candy wrappers. A garbage > > > can that is emptied every day so obviously it happened in one day. I felt > > > like the housekeeper must think there wasn't any wonder why I am so fat. It > > > all becomes self loathing in some respect that I can't seem to conquer this > > > addiction. I can finally admit that it is an addiction though. I had > > > given up all white flour and sugars for about 21 days before Halloween. Since > > > then though, it's been a real struggle with some days so bad and others > > > just enough off to insure a continuing of the issue. > > > > > > I've considered addiction therapy but honestly since it's not drug or > > > alcohol, it's not considered much. My last doctor kept tell me to try harder! > > > I couldn't believe the ignorance of that advice. I actually eat very > > > healthy foods when I'm not overtaken by the sugar. I have been fighting this for > > > 30 years since I was 25. I've never won for more than a few months. > > > > > > Sunny > > > > > > Sunny > > > > > > Best! > > > > > > Sunny > > > > > > In Beaverton, OR > > > > > > > > > In a message dated 11/14/2010 9:45:17 A.M. Pacific Standard Time, > > > imhere4u1232000@ writes: > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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