Re: Divorcing your BPD parent - have you done it?

[Guest guest]

I can't do that at work, where she likes to corner me because I can't be rude in

front of clients and I *have* to pick up the phone without knowing who's on the

other line.

I haven't answered a phone call from her on my cell or home phone for months.

> > > >

> > > > I want to limit my relationship with my BPD

> > mother. With the help of my therapist, I'm going to send her

> > an email to explain and set some boundaries. I'm not brave

> > enough to cut her out of my life completely, but I don't

> > want to see much of her anymore. I especially don't want to

> > have to endure another Christmas season with her. I've run

> > out of the energy to even talk to her on the phone.

> > > >

> > > > Have any of you done this in a straightforward

> > kind of way (as opposed to slowly phasing out)while living

> > in the same city? Success stories? Horror stories?

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ------------------------------------

> >

> > **This group is based on principles in Randi Kreger's new

> > book The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality

> > Disorder: New Tips and Tools to Stop Walking on Eggshells,

> > available at www.BPDCentral.com.** Problems? Write @...

> > DO NOT RESPOND ON THE LIST.

> >

> > To unsub from this list, send a blank email to

WTOAdultChildren1-unsubscribe

> >

> >

> > Recommended: " Toxic Parents, " " Surviving a Borderline

> > Parent, " and " Understanding the Borderline Mother " (hard to

> > find)

[Guest guest]

I think any client would understand hearing you say, " Mother, I am at work and

cannot take personal calls here. Talk to you later. " and then hanging up. Not

rude, and setting a boundary. If she persists in calling, then you have a

harassment issue...SHE is the one who looks like an asshole as long as all you

keep saying is that same thing, each time she calls. If it interferes with

business, then that can be dealt with from the business.

>

> Subject: Re: Divorcing your BPD parent - have you done it?

> To: WTOAdultChildren1

> Date: Thursday, September 2, 2010, 10:47 PM

> I can't do that at work, where she

> likes to corner me because I can't be rude in front of

> clients and I *have* to pick up the phone without knowing

> who's on the other line.

>

> I haven't answered a phone call from her on my cell or home

> phone for months.

>

>

> > > > >

> > > > > I want to limit my relationship with my

> BPD

> > > mother. With the help of my therapist, I'm going

> to send her

> > > an email to explain and set some boundaries. I'm

> not brave

> > > enough to cut her out of my life completely, but

> I don't

> > > want to see much of her anymore. I especially

> don't want to

> > > have to endure another Christmas season with her.

> I've run

> > > out of the energy to even talk to her on the

> phone.

> > > > >

> > > > > Have any of you done this in a

> straightforward

> > > kind of way (as opposed to slowly phasing

> out)while living

> > > in the same city? Success stories? Horror

> stories?

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > ------------------------------------

> > >

> > >  **This group is based on principles in

> Randi Kreger's new

> > > book The Essential Family Guide to Borderline

> Personality

> > > Disorder: New Tips and Tools to Stop Walking on

> Eggshells,

> > > available at www.BPDCentral.com.** Problems?

> Write @...

> > > DO NOT RESPOND ON THE LIST.

> > >

> > > To unsub from this list, send a blank email to

WTOAdultChildren1-unsubscribe

> > >

> > >

> > > Recommended: " Toxic Parents, " " Surviving a

> Borderline

> > > Parent, " and " Understanding the Borderline

> Mother " (hard to

> > > find)

[Guest guest]

Thanks for your response, .

This confirms that I've been doing the right thing, just not for long enough

yet. Just hearing how freakishly similar our mothers with BPD are is comforting

(to know that someone else has to do this).

So, thanks.

K

> > > >>

> > > >>>> I want to limit my relationship with my BPD mother. With the help of

my

> > > >>>>

> > > >> therapist, I'm going to send her an email to explain and set some

> > > >> boundaries. I'm not brave enough to cut her out of my life completely,

but I

> > > >> don't want to see much of her anymore. I especially don't want to have

to

> > > >> endure another Christmas season with her. I've run out of the energy to

even

> > > >> talk to her on the phone.

> > > >>

> > > >>>> Have any of you done this in a straightforward kind of way (as

opposed

> > > >>>>

> > > >> to slowly phasing out)while living in the same city? Success stories?

Horror

> > > >> stories?

> > > >>

> > > >>

> > > >>

> > > >>

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >