Welcome!

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I'm new to all this just a few days ago, too...Really something to learn when

you've wondered all you life what the heck is wrong with one of your

parents...Mine was my Mother...I have survived her better than some of my

siblings...I'm the oldest, somehow with her making me everyones parent, I also

was able to ignore her, and put her in her place along the way, with very often

in my life not speaking to her for years at a time...I am there right now, and

it's amazing when there is no contact how peaceful and calm my life is when my

phone isn't ringing every 15 minutes...I'm not sure what it would be like to

have a Dad have BPD, my father was an alcoholic, so he wasn't always a piece of

cake, but he had a heart, and respect for us as adults, where she of course has

never met those qualifications as a parent...My younger sister is in therapy

too, and I'm hoping to get her on this web site soon as she gets her computer up

and running again...She needs this even worse than I, as she has had a rougher

time dealing with Mother or (Nada and Fada), as they say on here...Good luck! I

think we are in the right place...Jill

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> Hi, I am , a brand new member.  My hope for this website is to get

> support from people who have to deal with similar situations.  I have recently

> figured out after a lifetime of confusion and denial that my father has BPD. 

I

> currently go to therapy to deal with his latest outburst, but could use a

> support group.  He hasn't talked to me for two months because of some

perceived

> wrong I did to him.  I am reading " Stop Walking on Eggshells " which is really

> helping.  My mother has read it and really benefited from it, she has enabled

> him my whole life but even this last episode has opened her eyes.  I am having

a

> hard time letting go of the anger and resentment.  I feel like once again, I

> have to be the mature one and now the responsibility is once again on me

to call

> him again because he refuses to call or write me.  I am working on my

> self-esteem so I am ready for anything that may come out of his mouth.  I want

> to still have a relationship with him, as there are good parts about him.  I

> just have to learn how to have boundaries, something he and I are not used to,

> and learn how to not let him ruin me if he wants to.  So, that's it in a

> nutshell.  Hopefully there are adult children who can help me learn how to

make

> that first move to start our relationship again without falling into the same

> pitfalls or feeling resentful.  Thank you!

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