Guest guest Posted August 13, 2010 Report Share Posted August 13, 2010 Seriously, do these people have a script for being the victim that they share with one another? Cause that letter reads SO familiar! > > I decided to post " the letter " . This is the one my momster delivered the > day after I came home from the hospital with DD2. It was the first and only > time she has seen DD2. I have been told that there is nothing wrong with > the letter, it is not hurtful, it is not nasty, it is not abusive, and I am > overreacting. Here it is: > > It's time I have a talk with you. I'm writing because I don't want any > screaming or yelling. I can't take it anymore. I just have to get this off > my chest. Please don't get me wrong, I am not blaming everything on you and > (hubby), I am just letting you know what is bothering me. (me), you only > get one mother in this world. I am sorry you got stuck with me.I don't know > what I did to you in life that makes you so hateful towards me. If you > would like to talk about it I am here for you. I always will be. I have > been a worry wart all my life, It drove me nuts when you kids were little. > I can't change, you will just have to accept it. I accept the way you are. > There are things I don't agree with you about. But I don't yell at you like > you do me. You and (hubby) both treat me like shit. I have to walk on > eggshells every time I come to your house. I am so afraid of saying or > doing something wrong. In fear that you will yell at me. That's not the > way it's supposed to be. You are my daughter, I should feel very > comfortable in your house. And the fact that you won't let me watch your > kids, just puts a knife right through my heart. I have been watching > (neice) since she was born. And I do a hell of a job with her. It gives us > time to bond together. You won't give me that chance to bond with (DD1) and > I'm sure the same with (DD2). What does (hubby)'s mother have that I > don't? She gets to keep (DD1) overnight every week. Why can't I? You have > never given me an honest answer. I really need to know. And the fact that > you called me 20 minutes before (DD2) was born, is just proof you did not > want me there. A very important moment in my life, to be there when my > granddaughter was born, you took that away from me. But I see (best friend) > was there. You must have called me last. Another stab in the heart. > Honey, I don't want to go on like this, I want us all to get along. (me), > this is the hardest thing I ever had to do in life, but I have to do it. > Until you and (hubby) start treating me with respect, I can no longer come > to your house. However, I hope you can find it in your heart to bring the > kids over to see me. I love all three of my grand babies more than life > itself > > Mom > > First, " if you would like to talk about it I am here for you " --I tried when > I called her to discuss boundaries and how she has hurt me. She screamed > over me and would not listen. > > " I don't yell at you like you do me " --most times she doesn't yell but has > other family gang up on me or pushes something over and over until I cave. > She does scream at the top of her lungs at times. > > As for me yelling at her it has only been 4 times in 18 months. 1)DD1's > first Christmas when I spent all day cooking and she showed up and demanded > I leave the meal to sit and get cold because she wanted to see my 4 month > old open gifts. She freaked out and I yelled at her to leave. 2) DD2's > second Christmas when she called 2 weeks before and demanded I abandon all > my plans so she could have her " right " to have Christmas at her house. > 3)The day I went into labor with DD2 when she ignored my request to stop > interfering with DD1 5 TIMES in less than an hour. 4) When I was in late > labor and about to deliver she whined to me about all the ways I could die > in the hospital. > > " The fact that you won't let me watch your kids... " --This is because with my > niece she leaves her alone with 2 mean dogs, refuses to use a safe and > properly installed carseat, and smokes in a closed car with her and then > asks people not to tell my brother. > > " You have never given me an honest answer " --We have discussed it several > times. > > " You won't give me the chance to bond with DD1--She was at our house for > hours one a week and often invited herself over without asking other times. > > That I did not want her at the birth was true but also she told me she did > not want to be there and I called her all night and her phone was out of > order. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2010 Report Share Posted August 13, 2010 What stands out to me about this letter is her complete lack of regret or self-examination. She's just soooo clueless about what she might have done wrong. The bit about how you would just have to " accept it " - whatever she might have done while worrying too much when you were little. There's no contrition there, there's no apology there, just a marvelously acted part of an innocent who is graciously reaching out to someone who is wounding them. And since many nadas do seem to be genuinely delusional, she may in fact totally believe her act. stay strong! julie > > The funny thing is is she was in my life at this point MORE than she ever > was. She visited 1-2 times per week to see my DD. The letter was the > reason that NC began. She made it clear she would only see the kids(she > delivered this the first and only time she saw my 2nd daughter) on her terms > so...she stopped seeing the kids. It was more meant, i think, to coerce me > into letting her have her way where my kids are concerned. Fat chance. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 14, 2010 Report Share Posted August 14, 2010 Wow. Passive/aggression. Projection. Blame-shifting. Jealousy. Entitlement. Attempted enmeshment. Manipulation. Bizarre accusations. Claiming victim. Delusional " I'm here for you. " Narcissistic " you took away a very important thing in MY life. " (HELLO!! YOU WERE GIVING BIRTH!! Her preference was NOT the most important concern!!) And let's not forget the timing: the one day that should have been about your comfort and your family is the one day she has to act out and claim your attention. This is one of the most pure forms of a BPD's toxic brew I've ever seen. Sorry you had to go through this. You owe her no reasons, and you are clearly not the crazy/hateful/mean/screaming/selfish one here. And I would sooner pull a stranger off the street than have her watch my kids. Even without the smoking, and that's saying something. Sheesh. What's a girl gotta do to get a break. Twins? No, that wouldn't do it .. . .I'll keep thinking. Blessings, Karla > > I decided to post " the letter " . This is the one my momster delivered the > day after I came home from the hospital with DD2. It was the first and only > time she has seen DD2. I have been told that there is nothing wrong with > the letter, it is not hurtful, it is not nasty, it is not abusive, and I am > overreacting. Here it is: > > It's time I have a talk with you. I'm writing because I don't want any > screaming or yelling. I can't take it anymore. I just have to get this off > my chest. Please don't get me wrong, I am not blaming everything on you and > (hubby), I am just letting you know what is bothering me. (me), you only > get one mother in this world. I am sorry you got stuck with me.I don't know > what I did to you in life that makes you so hateful towards me. If you > would like to talk about it I am here for you. I always will be. I have > been a worry wart all my life, It drove me nuts when you kids were little. > I can't change, you will just have to accept it. I accept the way you are. > There are things I don't agree with you about. But I don't yell at you like > you do me. You and (hubby) both treat me like shit. I have to walk on > eggshells every time I come to your house. I am so afraid of saying or > doing something wrong. In fear that you will yell at me. That's not the > way it's supposed to be. You are my daughter, I should feel very > comfortable in your house. And the fact that you won't let me watch your > kids, just puts a knife right through my heart. I have been watching > (neice) since she was born. And I do a hell of a job with her. It gives us > time to bond together. You won't give me that chance to bond with (DD1) and > I'm sure the same with (DD2). What does (hubby)'s mother have that I > don't? She gets to keep (DD1) overnight every week. Why can't I? You have > never given me an honest answer. I really need to know. And the fact that > you called me 20 minutes before (DD2) was born, is just proof you did not > want me there. A very important moment in my life, to be there when my > granddaughter was born, you took that away from me. But I see (best friend) > was there. You must have called me last. Another stab in the heart. > Honey, I don't want to go on like this, I want us all to get along. (me), > this is the hardest thing I ever had to do in life, but I have to do it. > Until you and (hubby) start treating me with respect, I can no longer come > to your house. However, I hope you can find it in your heart to bring the > kids over to see me. I love all three of my grand babies more than life > itself > > Mom > > First, " if you would like to talk about it I am here for you " --I tried when > I called her to discuss boundaries and how she has hurt me. She screamed > over me and would not listen. > > " I don't yell at you like you do me " --most times she doesn't yell but has > other family gang up on me or pushes something over and over until I cave. > She does scream at the top of her lungs at times. > > As for me yelling at her it has only been 4 times in 18 months. 1)DD1's > first Christmas when I spent all day cooking and she showed up and demanded > I leave the meal to sit and get cold because she wanted to see my 4 month > old open gifts. She freaked out and I yelled at her to leave. 2) DD2's > second Christmas when she called 2 weeks before and demanded I abandon all > my plans so she could have her " right " to have Christmas at her house. > 3)The day I went into labor with DD2 when she ignored my request to stop > interfering with DD1 5 TIMES in less than an hour. 4) When I was in late > labor and about to deliver she whined to me about all the ways I could die > in the hospital. > > " The fact that you won't let me watch your kids... " --This is because with my > niece she leaves her alone with 2 mean dogs, refuses to use a safe and > properly installed carseat, and smokes in a closed car with her and then > asks people not to tell my brother. > > " You have never given me an honest answer " --We have discussed it several > times. > > " You won't give me the chance to bond with DD1--She was at our house for > hours one a week and often invited herself over without asking other times. > > That I did not want her at the birth was true but also she told me she did > not want to be there and I called her all night and her phone was out of > order. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 14, 2010 Report Share Posted August 14, 2010 , that is a great analysis!! BTW: Did anyone else's nada use " honor thy father and mother " as a manipulation/power tool? I can still hear her spitting those words at me. They meant " take my abuse and freakish power plays without protest. " Sheesh. > > *Someone who didn't know the dynamics of your > relationship could easily paint you as the bad guy, which is probably > why some have told you that you are overreacting* > > This exactly! I have been able to pinpoint 4 distinct outlooks that people > in my life take. 3 of them don't get it. They are: > > - The " honor thy mother, she's your mother no matter what " group. They > beleive that giving birth to me automatically solidifies a lifelong > relationship NO MATTER WHAT. If she will not be reasonable, respect me, or > even listen to me I still must continue the relationship for no other reason > than she's my mother. If she will not take responsibility for her part than > I must shoulder all the responsibility for carrying on the relationship. If > I do not I will regret it forever and ever after she passes.(My aunt/her > sister has actually said to me that I will regret how I treat her and I am > depriving my children of a grandma IN SPITE OF that fact that she knows my > mother puts my niece in danger.) > - The " it must be you " group. These are the people who do not see the > behind closed doors treatment I receive. They see only that my mother > spoils me. Buying excessive(also cheap, unwanted) gifts = good mother. > Since I am so spoiled I must be overreacting and therefore all the horrible > things my mother says about me must be true. They either join my mother in > putting me down and telling me how horrible of a daughter I am or feel sorry > for my mother and give her advice such as having me arrested, punishing me > severely, or getting me the mental help that I need(which I do/did but not > for the reasons they thought and my mother would never take me to therapy > because that would out her) > - The " your mother is sick in the head " group. This is the group of > people who recognize that my mother has issues but instead of realizing that > a child should not be treated this way they take the opinion of " your mother > is sick and therefore we must just tolerate her, if she had cancer you > wouldn't abandon her and this is no different. Effectively, they also make > my mother's issues my responsibility. I hear things like " it's just how she > is " from them. > - The " supporters " group. These are the few people in my life who > beleive me wholeheartedly, support me in my decisions regarding my > relationship with mom, and understand that it is not my fault and I have no > obligation to take her crap. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 14, 2010 Report Share Posted August 14, 2010 , that is a great analysis!! BTW: Did anyone else's nada use " honor thy father and mother " as a manipulation/power tool? I can still hear her spitting those words at me. They meant " take my abuse and freakish power plays without protest. " Sheesh. > > *Someone who didn't know the dynamics of your > relationship could easily paint you as the bad guy, which is probably > why some have told you that you are overreacting* > > This exactly! I have been able to pinpoint 4 distinct outlooks that people > in my life take. 3 of them don't get it. They are: > > - The " honor thy mother, she's your mother no matter what " group. They > beleive that giving birth to me automatically solidifies a lifelong > relationship NO MATTER WHAT. If she will not be reasonable, respect me, or > even listen to me I still must continue the relationship for no other reason > than she's my mother. If she will not take responsibility for her part than > I must shoulder all the responsibility for carrying on the relationship. If > I do not I will regret it forever and ever after she passes.(My aunt/her > sister has actually said to me that I will regret how I treat her and I am > depriving my children of a grandma IN SPITE OF that fact that she knows my > mother puts my niece in danger.) > - The " it must be you " group. These are the people who do not see the > behind closed doors treatment I receive. They see only that my mother > spoils me. Buying excessive(also cheap, unwanted) gifts = good mother. > Since I am so spoiled I must be overreacting and therefore all the horrible > things my mother says about me must be true. They either join my mother in > putting me down and telling me how horrible of a daughter I am or feel sorry > for my mother and give her advice such as having me arrested, punishing me > severely, or getting me the mental help that I need(which I do/did but not > for the reasons they thought and my mother would never take me to therapy > because that would out her) > - The " your mother is sick in the head " group. This is the group of > people who recognize that my mother has issues but instead of realizing that > a child should not be treated this way they take the opinion of " your mother > is sick and therefore we must just tolerate her, if she had cancer you > wouldn't abandon her and this is no different. Effectively, they also make > my mother's issues my responsibility. I hear things like " it's just how she > is " from them. > - The " supporters " group. These are the few people in my life who > beleive me wholeheartedly, support me in my decisions regarding my > relationship with mom, and understand that it is not my fault and I have no > obligation to take her crap. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 14, 2010 Report Share Posted August 14, 2010 , that is a great analysis!! BTW: Did anyone else's nada use " honor thy father and mother " as a manipulation/power tool? I can still hear her spitting those words at me. They meant " take my abuse and freakish power plays without protest. " Sheesh. > > *Someone who didn't know the dynamics of your > relationship could easily paint you as the bad guy, which is probably > why some have told you that you are overreacting* > > This exactly! I have been able to pinpoint 4 distinct outlooks that people > in my life take. 3 of them don't get it. They are: > > - The " honor thy mother, she's your mother no matter what " group. They > beleive that giving birth to me automatically solidifies a lifelong > relationship NO MATTER WHAT. If she will not be reasonable, respect me, or > even listen to me I still must continue the relationship for no other reason > than she's my mother. If she will not take responsibility for her part than > I must shoulder all the responsibility for carrying on the relationship. If > I do not I will regret it forever and ever after she passes.(My aunt/her > sister has actually said to me that I will regret how I treat her and I am > depriving my children of a grandma IN SPITE OF that fact that she knows my > mother puts my niece in danger.) > - The " it must be you " group. These are the people who do not see the > behind closed doors treatment I receive. They see only that my mother > spoils me. Buying excessive(also cheap, unwanted) gifts = good mother. > Since I am so spoiled I must be overreacting and therefore all the horrible > things my mother says about me must be true. They either join my mother in > putting me down and telling me how horrible of a daughter I am or feel sorry > for my mother and give her advice such as having me arrested, punishing me > severely, or getting me the mental help that I need(which I do/did but not > for the reasons they thought and my mother would never take me to therapy > because that would out her) > - The " your mother is sick in the head " group. This is the group of > people who recognize that my mother has issues but instead of realizing that > a child should not be treated this way they take the opinion of " your mother > is sick and therefore we must just tolerate her, if she had cancer you > wouldn't abandon her and this is no different. Effectively, they also make > my mother's issues my responsibility. I hear things like " it's just how she > is " from them. > - The " supporters " group. These are the few people in my life who > beleive me wholeheartedly, support me in my decisions regarding my > relationship with mom, and understand that it is not my fault and I have no > obligation to take her crap. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 14, 2010 Report Share Posted August 14, 2010 they really do have a homing device for moments that are not about them and know how to swindle you into thinking about them when they are the last person the focus should be on, even if it's outrageous demands and accusations and all that jazz. It would be tempting to reply, " sorry mom, didn't have time to get to this as I have a newborn, will try to read it when I have more time, maybe when my new daughter is through breastfeeding. " etc. Hugs, I have heard that kind of crap from both my parents all my life. Grrrr. > > I decided to post " the letter " . This is the one my momster delivered the > day after I came home from the hospital with DD2. It was the first and only > time she has seen DD2. I have been told that there is nothing wrong with > the letter, it is not hurtful, it is not nasty, it is not abusive, and I am > overreacting. Here it is: > > It's time I have a talk with you. I'm writing because I don't want any > screaming or yelling. I can't take it anymore. I just have to get this off > my chest. Please don't get me wrong, I am not blaming everything on you and > (hubby), I am just letting you know what is bothering me. (me), you only > get one mother in this world. I am sorry you got stuck with me.I don't know > what I did to you in life that makes you so hateful towards me. If you > would like to talk about it I am here for you. I always will be. I have > been a worry wart all my life, It drove me nuts when you kids were little. > I can't change, you will just have to accept it. I accept the way you are. > There are things I don't agree with you about. But I don't yell at you like > you do me. You and (hubby) both treat me like shit. I have to walk on > eggshells every time I come to your house. I am so afraid of saying or > doing something wrong. In fear that you will yell at me. That's not the > way it's supposed to be. You are my daughter, I should feel very > comfortable in your house. And the fact that you won't let me watch your > kids, just puts a knife right through my heart. I have been watching > (neice) since she was born. And I do a hell of a job with her. It gives us > time to bond together. You won't give me that chance to bond with (DD1) and > I'm sure the same with (DD2). What does (hubby)'s mother have that I > don't? She gets to keep (DD1) overnight every week. Why can't I? You have > never given me an honest answer. I really need to know. And the fact that > you called me 20 minutes before (DD2) was born, is just proof you did not > want me there. A very important moment in my life, to be there when my > granddaughter was born, you took that away from me. But I see (best friend) > was there. You must have called me last. Another stab in the heart. > Honey, I don't want to go on like this, I want us all to get along. (me), > this is the hardest thing I ever had to do in life, but I have to do it. > Until you and (hubby) start treating me with respect, I can no longer come > to your house. However, I hope you can find it in your heart to bring the > kids over to see me. I love all three of my grand babies more than life > itself > > Mom > > First, " if you would like to talk about it I am here for you " --I tried when > I called her to discuss boundaries and how she has hurt me. She screamed > over me and would not listen. > > " I don't yell at you like you do me " --most times she doesn't yell but has > other family gang up on me or pushes something over and over until I cave. > She does scream at the top of her lungs at times. > > As for me yelling at her it has only been 4 times in 18 months. 1)DD1's > first Christmas when I spent all day cooking and she showed up and demanded > I leave the meal to sit and get cold because she wanted to see my 4 month > old open gifts. She freaked out and I yelled at her to leave. 2) DD2's > second Christmas when she called 2 weeks before and demanded I abandon all > my plans so she could have her " right " to have Christmas at her house. > 3)The day I went into labor with DD2 when she ignored my request to stop > interfering with DD1 5 TIMES in less than an hour. 4) When I was in late > labor and about to deliver she whined to me about all the ways I could die > in the hospital. > > " The fact that you won't let me watch your kids... " --This is because with my > niece she leaves her alone with 2 mean dogs, refuses to use a safe and > properly installed carseat, and smokes in a closed car with her and then > asks people not to tell my brother. > > " You have never given me an honest answer " --We have discussed it several > times. > > " You won't give me the chance to bond with DD1--She was at our house for > hours one a week and often invited herself over without asking other times. > > That I did not want her at the birth was true but also she told me she did > not want to be there and I called her all night and her phone was out of > order. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 14, 2010 Report Share Posted August 14, 2010 Wow , how infuriating! So much of this distortion of the truth and language are familiar to me. I have been trying to set boundaries lately too and like you am unwilling to compromise and allow the cycle to continue. Some of the lines that stood out to me were: I can't change, you will just have to accept it. I accept the way you are. - My mother has always said stuff like this- " I am me and I'm not going to change. I reckon I'm pretty beautiful etc. I love how she infused this with her being so reasonable and understanding. She can accept, why can't you??!! I'm writing because I don't want any screaming or yelling. I can't take it any more. - My mother has turned around everything that I have tried to calmly and rationally say to her (I am guessing she has done all the screaming and yelling!) for example,telling me that my phone messages have been so unpredictable this last year after I told her that her sms's were unpredictable (My reasoning for requesting no phone contact). In fear that you will yell at me. That's not the way it's supposed to be. You are my daughter, you took that away from me. - My mother keeps saying that she can't handle being scolded by me and I am forever taking away her " rights " as a mother. She even said that my daughter was hers. She frequently refers to her rights and thinks that she somehow owns me. My mother also thought I had told her last when I shared the news of my pregnancy with her. She also has massive jealousy of my best friend, who I asked to have at the birth. They basically can't stand any criticism- perceived or real. Because of their black and white thinking, if they sense criticism, then they fear their whole being is flawed and so start their projecting etc. Thus all of the behaviours they are " accused " of are suddenly imparted on the " accuser " as being the rightful owners of this behaviour. Also, they have a massive fear of abandonment and so if they sense you are pulling away, they will get in first- ie. this is the hardest thing I ever had to do in life, but I have to do it. > Until you and (hubby) start treating me with respect, I can no longer come to your house. My mother used to come to my house frequently unannounced and always at a really inconvenient time- when we were settling the baby etc. I swear she did it on purpose. I would open the door and she would say " Hi, I just came because I need a cuddle. You said I could come over any time " . She would stare intently at me and my partner for a reaction. Then I would be irritable and each time she left I would feel bad because I didn't make my own mother comfortable in my own house!! My mother has also offered the " understanding mother " tactics amidst the verbal abuse and offered to be there for me if I needed anything. I even had brief moments of vain hopes that she might take on what I requested and try and change some of her behaviour because she seemed so reasonable at fleeting moments. " Fleeting " being the operative word! It's tiring isn't it. I hope it helps even just a little to know that others are going through very similar stuff. It sounds like you are coping amazingly well. Stay strong in your boundary setting. I wish you all the best with this. With warmth, Lynda > > I decided to post " the letter " . This is the one my momster delivered the > day after I came home from the hospital with DD2. It was the first and only > time she has seen DD2. I have been told that there is nothing wrong with > the letter, it is not hurtful, it is not nasty, it is not abusive, and I am > overreacting. Here it is: > > It's time I have a talk with you. I'm writing because I don't want any > screaming or yelling. I can't take it anymore. I just have to get this off > my chest. Please don't get me wrong, I am not blaming everything on you and > (hubby), I am just letting you know what is bothering me. (me), you only > get one mother in this world. I am sorry you got stuck with me.I don't know > what I did to you in life that makes you so hateful towards me. If you > would like to talk about it I am here for you. I always will be. I have > been a worry wart all my life, It drove me nuts when you kids were little. > I can't change, you will just have to accept it. I accept the way you are. > There are things I don't agree with you about. But I don't yell at you like > you do me. You and (hubby) both treat me like shit. I have to walk on > eggshells every time I come to your house. I am so afraid of saying or > doing something wrong. In fear that you will yell at me. That's not the > way it's supposed to be. You are my daughter, I should feel very > comfortable in your house. And the fact that you won't let me watch your > kids, just puts a knife right through my heart. I have been watching > (neice) since she was born. And I do a hell of a job with her. It gives us > time to bond together. You won't give me that chance to bond with (DD1) and > I'm sure the same with (DD2). What does (hubby)'s mother have that I > don't? She gets to keep (DD1) overnight every week. Why can't I? You have > never given me an honest answer. I really need to know. And the fact that > you called me 20 minutes before (DD2) was born, is just proof you did not > want me there. A very important moment in my life, to be there when my > granddaughter was born, you took that away from me. But I see (best friend) > was there. You must have called me last. Another stab in the heart. > Honey, I don't want to go on like this, I want us all to get along. (me), > this is the hardest thing I ever had to do in life, but I have to do it. > Until you and (hubby) start treating me with respect, I can no longer come > to your house. However, I hope you can find it in your heart to bring the > kids over to see me. I love all three of my grand babies more than life > itself > > Mom > > First, " if you would like to talk about it I am here for you " --I tried when > I called her to discuss boundaries and how she has hurt me. She screamed > over me and would not listen. > > " I don't yell at you like you do me " --most times she doesn't yell but has > other family gang up on me or pushes something over and over until I cave. > She does scream at the top of her lungs at times. > > As for me yelling at her it has only been 4 times in 18 months. 1)DD1's > first Christmas when I spent all day cooking and she showed up and demanded > I leave the meal to sit and get cold because she wanted to see my 4 month > old open gifts. She freaked out and I yelled at her to leave. 2) DD2's > second Christmas when she called 2 weeks before and demanded I abandon all > my plans so she could have her " right " to have Christmas at her house. > 3)The day I went into labor with DD2 when she ignored my request to stop > interfering with DD1 5 TIMES in less than an hour. 4) When I was in late > labor and about to deliver she whined to me about all the ways I could die > in the hospital. > > " The fact that you won't let me watch your kids... " --This is because with my > niece she leaves her alone with 2 mean dogs, refuses to use a safe and > properly installed carseat, and smokes in a closed car with her and then > asks people not to tell my brother. > > " You have never given me an honest answer " --We have discussed it several > times. > > " You won't give me the chance to bond with DD1--She was at our house for > hours one a week and often invited herself over without asking other times. > > That I did not want her at the birth was true but also she told me she did > not want to be there and I called her all night and her phone was out of > order. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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