Re: triggers triggers and more triggers

[Guest guest]

Some days, I feel that way. I'm glad that my husband and i went through

rigorous marriage counseling before we got married, because it covered the

" I " statements. I can tell you it helps a lot! Hope your bf gets the hang of

it soon.

Mostly, lately, I've been feeling sad. My new night shift job at a dorm is

causing me to be more emotional (for lack of sleep), and last night when I

saw a girl hug her brother when saying goodbye, I felt all sad because I

thought of my little brother, missing what could have been. (He's still

suckered over to the dark side of my fada.)

Holly

On Sat, Sep 4, 2010 at 3:09 PM, Girlscout Cowboy <girlscout.cowboy@...

> wrote:

>

>

> Do you feel like every where you look their are triggers? My day started

> driving for coffee with boyfriend. I was singing along to the radio when he

> joined in in a total mocking, phoney voice. I told him to quit it, he was

> ruining the song for me. He kept it up. Finally I said, " I feel like I'm 10

> years old again, trapped in a car with my brother who doesn't know when to

> stop teasing me. " So then he gets upset and tells me I'm accusing him of

> being horrible like my family. So, I explained what an " I " statement is and

> asked him to google it and learn the concept since he had never heard of it

> (I just think men don't get as interested in all this stuff). When I say " I

> feel, " I'm not saying anything about who you are, just about how I

> personally feel right now. He's like oh okay. But it was like a 2 or 3 hour

> argument. . . ugh.

>

> Then I go to get my hair done (this is something I HATE! I'd rather get a

> pap smear than get my hair done), and it was way past due. I spent 2 hours

> with an irritating girl prattling at me about her family and wondering

> about

> mine. . . Finally I had to explain " I don't talk to my family. " OOOOH,

> okay.

> . .

>

> I wonder if the hair dresser triggered me because nada goes to hers weekly

> and bitches about me, and then she expected ME to get my hair done at the

> same place. Ugh.

>

> I'm not sure. I just know I HATE it!!!

>

> I'm exhausted, headache, neck ache etc. Its only 2 and I feel ready for

> bed.

> I'd call that a trigger. What do you guys think?

>

>

[Guest guest]

Some days, I feel that way. I'm glad that my husband and i went through

rigorous marriage counseling before we got married, because it covered the

" I " statements. I can tell you it helps a lot! Hope your bf gets the hang of

it soon.

Mostly, lately, I've been feeling sad. My new night shift job at a dorm is

causing me to be more emotional (for lack of sleep), and last night when I

saw a girl hug her brother when saying goodbye, I felt all sad because I

thought of my little brother, missing what could have been. (He's still

suckered over to the dark side of my fada.)

Holly

On Sat, Sep 4, 2010 at 3:09 PM, Girlscout Cowboy <girlscout.cowboy@...

> wrote:

>

>

> Do you feel like every where you look their are triggers? My day started

> driving for coffee with boyfriend. I was singing along to the radio when he

> joined in in a total mocking, phoney voice. I told him to quit it, he was

> ruining the song for me. He kept it up. Finally I said, " I feel like I'm 10

> years old again, trapped in a car with my brother who doesn't know when to

> stop teasing me. " So then he gets upset and tells me I'm accusing him of

> being horrible like my family. So, I explained what an " I " statement is and

> asked him to google it and learn the concept since he had never heard of it

> (I just think men don't get as interested in all this stuff). When I say " I

> feel, " I'm not saying anything about who you are, just about how I

> personally feel right now. He's like oh okay. But it was like a 2 or 3 hour

> argument. . . ugh.

>

> Then I go to get my hair done (this is something I HATE! I'd rather get a

> pap smear than get my hair done), and it was way past due. I spent 2 hours

> with an irritating girl prattling at me about her family and wondering

> about

> mine. . . Finally I had to explain " I don't talk to my family. " OOOOH,

> okay.

> . .

>

> I wonder if the hair dresser triggered me because nada goes to hers weekly

> and bitches about me, and then she expected ME to get my hair done at the

> same place. Ugh.

>

> I'm not sure. I just know I HATE it!!!

>

> I'm exhausted, headache, neck ache etc. Its only 2 and I feel ready for

> bed.

> I'd call that a trigger. What do you guys think?

>

>

[Guest guest]

Some days, I feel that way. I'm glad that my husband and i went through

rigorous marriage counseling before we got married, because it covered the

" I " statements. I can tell you it helps a lot! Hope your bf gets the hang of

it soon.

Mostly, lately, I've been feeling sad. My new night shift job at a dorm is

causing me to be more emotional (for lack of sleep), and last night when I

saw a girl hug her brother when saying goodbye, I felt all sad because I

thought of my little brother, missing what could have been. (He's still

suckered over to the dark side of my fada.)

Holly

On Sat, Sep 4, 2010 at 3:09 PM, Girlscout Cowboy <girlscout.cowboy@...

> wrote:

>

>

> Do you feel like every where you look their are triggers? My day started

> driving for coffee with boyfriend. I was singing along to the radio when he

> joined in in a total mocking, phoney voice. I told him to quit it, he was

> ruining the song for me. He kept it up. Finally I said, " I feel like I'm 10

> years old again, trapped in a car with my brother who doesn't know when to

> stop teasing me. " So then he gets upset and tells me I'm accusing him of

> being horrible like my family. So, I explained what an " I " statement is and

> asked him to google it and learn the concept since he had never heard of it

> (I just think men don't get as interested in all this stuff). When I say " I

> feel, " I'm not saying anything about who you are, just about how I

> personally feel right now. He's like oh okay. But it was like a 2 or 3 hour

> argument. . . ugh.

>

> Then I go to get my hair done (this is something I HATE! I'd rather get a

> pap smear than get my hair done), and it was way past due. I spent 2 hours

> with an irritating girl prattling at me about her family and wondering

> about

> mine. . . Finally I had to explain " I don't talk to my family. " OOOOH,

> okay.

> . .

>

> I wonder if the hair dresser triggered me because nada goes to hers weekly

> and bitches about me, and then she expected ME to get my hair done at the

> same place. Ugh.

>

> I'm not sure. I just know I HATE it!!!

>

> I'm exhausted, headache, neck ache etc. Its only 2 and I feel ready for

> bed.

> I'd call that a trigger. What do you guys think?

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yeah, does that ever go away - the horrible feeling of sadness when you see

another family really showing love. . . Ugh I'm sick of it.

On Sat, Sep 4, 2010 at 9:22 PM, Holly Byers wrote:

> Some days, I feel that way. I'm glad that my husband and i went through

> rigorous marriage counseling before we got married, because it covered the

> " I " statements. I can tell you it helps a lot! Hope your bf gets the hang

> of

> it soon.

>

> Mostly, lately, I've been feeling sad. My new night shift job at a dorm is

> causing me to be more emotional (for lack of sleep), and last night when I

> saw a girl hug her brother when saying goodbye, I felt all sad because I

> thought of my little brother, missing what could have been. (He's still

> suckered over to the dark side of my fada.)

>

> Holly

>

> On Sat, Sep 4, 2010 at 3:09 PM, Girlscout Cowboy <

> girlscout.cowboy@...

> > wrote:

>

> >

> >

> > Do you feel like every where you look their are triggers? My day started

> > driving for coffee with boyfriend. I was singing along to the radio when

> he

> > joined in in a total mocking, phoney voice. I told him to quit it, he was

> > ruining the song for me. He kept it up. Finally I said, " I feel like I'm

> 10

> > years old again, trapped in a car with my brother who doesn't know when

> to

> > stop teasing me. " So then he gets upset and tells me I'm accusing him of

> > being horrible like my family. So, I explained what an " I " statement is

> and

> > asked him to google it and learn the concept since he had never heard of

> it

> > (I just think men don't get as interested in all this stuff). When I say

> " I

> > feel, " I'm not saying anything about who you are, just about how I

> > personally feel right now. He's like oh okay. But it was like a 2 or 3

> hour

> > argument. . . ugh.

> >

> > Then I go to get my hair done (this is something I HATE! I'd rather get a

> > pap smear than get my hair done), and it was way past due. I spent 2

> hours

> > with an irritating girl prattling at me about her family and wondering

> > about

> > mine. . . Finally I had to explain " I don't talk to my family. " OOOOH,

> > okay.

> > . .

> >

> > I wonder if the hair dresser triggered me because nada goes to hers

> weekly

> > and bitches about me, and then she expected ME to get my hair done at the

> > same place. Ugh.

> >

> > I'm not sure. I just know I HATE it!!!

> >

> > I'm exhausted, headache, neck ache etc. Its only 2 and I feel ready for

> > bed.

> > I'd call that a trigger. What do you guys think?

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Yeah, does that ever go away - the horrible feeling of sadness when you see

another family really showing love. . . Ugh I'm sick of it.

On Sat, Sep 4, 2010 at 9:22 PM, Holly Byers wrote:

> Some days, I feel that way. I'm glad that my husband and i went through

> rigorous marriage counseling before we got married, because it covered the

> " I " statements. I can tell you it helps a lot! Hope your bf gets the hang

> of

> it soon.

>

> Mostly, lately, I've been feeling sad. My new night shift job at a dorm is

> causing me to be more emotional (for lack of sleep), and last night when I

> saw a girl hug her brother when saying goodbye, I felt all sad because I

> thought of my little brother, missing what could have been. (He's still

> suckered over to the dark side of my fada.)

>

> Holly

>

> On Sat, Sep 4, 2010 at 3:09 PM, Girlscout Cowboy <

> girlscout.cowboy@...

> > wrote:

>

> >

> >

> > Do you feel like every where you look their are triggers? My day started

> > driving for coffee with boyfriend. I was singing along to the radio when

> he

> > joined in in a total mocking, phoney voice. I told him to quit it, he was

> > ruining the song for me. He kept it up. Finally I said, " I feel like I'm

> 10

> > years old again, trapped in a car with my brother who doesn't know when

> to

> > stop teasing me. " So then he gets upset and tells me I'm accusing him of

> > being horrible like my family. So, I explained what an " I " statement is

> and

> > asked him to google it and learn the concept since he had never heard of

> it

> > (I just think men don't get as interested in all this stuff). When I say

> " I

> > feel, " I'm not saying anything about who you are, just about how I

> > personally feel right now. He's like oh okay. But it was like a 2 or 3

> hour

> > argument. . . ugh.

> >

> > Then I go to get my hair done (this is something I HATE! I'd rather get a

> > pap smear than get my hair done), and it was way past due. I spent 2

> hours

> > with an irritating girl prattling at me about her family and wondering

> > about

> > mine. . . Finally I had to explain " I don't talk to my family. " OOOOH,

> > okay.

> > . .

> >

> > I wonder if the hair dresser triggered me because nada goes to hers

> weekly

> > and bitches about me, and then she expected ME to get my hair done at the

> > same place. Ugh.

> >

> > I'm not sure. I just know I HATE it!!!

> >

> > I'm exhausted, headache, neck ache etc. Its only 2 and I feel ready for

> > bed.

> > I'd call that a trigger. What do you guys think?

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Yes, I do, at times, have triggers EVERYWHERE. I fell into the trap of

leaving nada's house only to accept a job that was a corporate version of a

BPD family. I didn't even realize it until I got laid off and could reflect

on all that happened. During that time was the worst. Faced with triggers

every single day I went to work. I also struggle with triggers from hubby.

Not coming from a FOO like mine he just can't understand how a simple

comment or action from him can trigger such anger or depression. He tries

though and I understand.