Re: just saw nada tonight !

[Guest guest]

Stefanie--

I'm just amazed you are so calm and have such strong presence of mind right now.

I have to say--I'd be a pitiful mess if I had just lived through that last

night!!!

I have no advice, other than to say your approach seems balanced and

intelligent. Don't be a victim, and don't pick fights. That's as healthy as it

gets, I believe!

I applaud your strength and your well-balanced approach. And I say

KUDOS to you for keeping nada's crazy in perspective.

Blessings,

Karla

p.s. Way to go with your kids!! What a great mom you are!! Incredible,

considering you're a KO. How wonderful for your family!!!

>

> I went to an Italian fest in my old neighborhood that runs for 3 days.

> My whole family looks forward to it. Once a year I see friends and

> distant family there. I have been doing this just about ever year for

> the past 35 years. All the other Italians do too and it's nice to see

> old faces. I knew nada goes but she doesn't like to be out late so I

> went around 7pm figuring if by chance she was there this night their

> would be less of a chance to see her. I was in line to get some food

> and there is nada..My heart sank and I panicked...but I turned around

> and looked away. I don't know if she saw me...I think she did..she

> usually doesn't miss a thing. I realize that if she said something to

> me I have no idea what I would say....she is known to cause a

> scene..Like my " daughter I miss you and run to hug ans kiss me " or the

> total opposite and call me nasty Italian names. I decided that if she

> did anything I would play dead...not say anything not do anything. I

> refuse to lower myself to making a scene...I would walk away but I was

> in line at this moment and had just paid and was waiting for my

> families food order so I couldn't.

>

> She saw my aunt (her sister) which is also no contact with her

> (because my mother had an affair with her husband). My aunt wasn't

> lucky enough to avoid her. It's hard for me to translate what happen

> because it was in Italian but I'll do my best and either way I'm sure

> you'll get the gist. She walked up to my aunt and said a sarcastic

> hey there gorgeous..It really means the opposite. My aunt didn't

> acknowledge her or say anything she just stayed quiet and my mother

> started following her scream obscenities to her and calling her

> " troia " Pronounce " Troy YA " It means fat female pig...It's what she

> called me my whole life. when my other aunts and uncles that were

> there told me this..I said she called her troia...how dare she I

> though that was her pet name for me:)...I tried to make light of the

> whole thing but what a freakin witch

>

> I don't know if I could just let her say those things to me in public

> around my friends.....I think a confrontation is at some point

> inevitable...what should I do..I need to be prepared and I'm not I

> still am terrified of her.

>

> By the way..my kids saw her ran to her and kissed her. They have been

> raised that way...to be polite to family. I will not tell them not to

> talk to there grand mother or put my feelings for her on them....they

> can choose to see her or not. They know she is hurtful to me and are

> happy she's out of my life. They are young teens and I still do not

> want to tell them everything..when they get older I will or maybe I

> won't.

>

> So guys what do I do..if I have a confrontation?..I'm angry I wanna

> tell her off...I know it will get me no where. but sometime my mouth

> has a mind of it's own. I would appreciate any advice for dealing with

> confrontation.

>

> Stefanie

>