just saw nada tonight !

[Guest guest]

I went to an Italian fest in my old neighborhood that runs for 3 days.

My whole family looks forward to it. Once a year I see friends and

distant family there. I have been doing this just about ever year for

the past 35 years. All the other Italians do too and it's nice to see

old faces. I knew nada goes but she doesn't like to be out late so I

went around 7pm figuring if by chance she was there this night their

would be less of a chance to see her. I was in line to get some food

and there is nada..My heart sank and I panicked...but I turned around

and looked away. I don't know if she saw me...I think she did..she

usually doesn't miss a thing. I realize that if she said something to

me I have no idea what I would say....she is known to cause a

scene..Like my " daughter I miss you and run to hug ans kiss me " or the

total opposite and call me nasty Italian names. I decided that if she

did anything I would play dead...not say anything not do anything. I

refuse to lower myself to making a scene...I would walk away but I was

in line at this moment and had just paid and was waiting for my

families food order so I couldn't.

She saw my aunt (her sister) which is also no contact with her

(because my mother had an affair with her husband). My aunt wasn't

lucky enough to avoid her. It's hard for me to translate what happen

because it was in Italian but I'll do my best and either way I'm sure

you'll get the gist. She walked up to my aunt and said a sarcastic

hey there gorgeous..It really means the opposite. My aunt didn't

acknowledge her or say anything she just stayed quiet and my mother

started following her scream obscenities to her and calling her

" troia " Pronounce " Troy YA " It means fat female pig...It's what she

called me my whole life. when my other aunts and uncles that were

there told me this..I said she called her troia...how dare she I

though that was her pet name for me:)...I tried to make light of the

whole thing but what a freakin witch

I don't know if I could just let her say those things to me in public

around my friends.....I think a confrontation is at some point

inevitable...what should I do..I need to be prepared and I'm not I

still am terrified of her.

By the way..my kids saw her ran to her and kissed her. They have been

raised that way...to be polite to family. I will not tell them not to

talk to there grand mother or put my feelings for her on them....they

can choose to see her or not. They know she is hurtful to me and are

happy she's out of my life. They are young teens and I still do not

want to tell them everything..when they get older I will or maybe I

won't.

So guys what do I do..if I have a confrontation?..I'm angry I wanna

tell her off...I know it will get me no where. but sometime my mouth

has a mind of it's own. I would appreciate any advice for dealing with

confrontation.

Stefanie