Re: walls and gates = romantic relationships

[Guest guest]

, It kills me reading your situation. I've already been where you are now

except for one huge difference. I threw those morals to the wind and went crazy

for many years. It was very self defeating and quite horrible. All the sex in

the world will not take away that feeling of loneliness. I promise. It will

also not make the guys stay around. You have to believe me there. Most of them

will have sex with anyone, anytime, anywhere. No feelings necessary. If you

think you feel bad after a kiss and then no return texts, just imagine if you

had gone any further. It is a terrible feeling.

I ended up right where you are now, in college (from 25- 30), alone, no dates,

but with a little girl to raise alone. Your dream man will come along at the

perfect time in your life. I know it. Mine showed up around age 35. I believe

that with a lot more morals, wise decisions, and self love, he would have come

along a lot sooner. You are doing it all the right way. Stay strong and love

YOU.

PS> no more drunk texting, that never ends well.

>

> This is so off topic but I have to know:

>

> I met a guy, we hit it off instantaneously.. We were both a little tipsy and

> kissed. a lot, but nothing else. the next day he texted me .. and then we

> texted for a little he said I was hot and smokin and perfect (which im not

> but it was still flattering and a good sign), and nothing! I am going back

> to school far away in a month, and am 6 years younger than he is.. could

> this be the reason why he isn't texting back. Is it desperate if I text him:

> " I want to see you again when you're in the city, call me sometime. " ... I

> mean this is after a 2 week period of no texts, and the last text I sent was

> last weekend, I said " thinking of you. " I know mushy, but I was intoxicated,

> and just met someone so great, but so not for me, and so I was lonely and

> thinking about how much I liked this guy! And he didn't write me back.. I

> can't believe someone can seem so into you, and then nothing. I know I can't

> let some jerk make me feel bad about myself, but the truth is my pride is

> hurt. And I watch these tv shows like sex and the city, where these women

> are so confident and get men at the snap of their finger, and I feel like

> wow I am so much younger than these people, if I am not enjoying myself

> -carefree and flirtatious- with men when I am young, when am I going to do

> it?

>

> Here's the other revelation: men my own age are not attracted to me! I work

> at express, and part of my job is to greet. When guys my age come in and I

> say hello.. they barely look and nod, when men in their mid to late 20s come

> in, they smile a nice toothy smile and say hey how are you! In the movies,

> and in the novels, and shows, the men are supposed to ask for your number

> and then take you out on a few dates.. I mean, are guys nowadays too lazy to

> put in work.. do they expect to get laid without dating and romance. Here's

> the other thing I've been contemplating: Am I missing out by saving myself

> until the one I love comes along? Am I depriving myself of great sex, just

> because of my stupid moral conscious? I kissed a guy for the first time

> without dating the other day, and look where that got me.. nowhere. I just

> feel like wow, I am a really great catch, and it's not like I want to get

> married and have children, I just want to see a movie, walk in the park and

> make out under the stars, it's so 7th grade but that's okay. I just don't

> know why I have such a hard time getting guys to ask me out. They are

> attracted to me, but then nothing happens. They just look and walk away. And

> at parties, once they hear I'm leaving they run away.. And at school, all

> the guys are slutty because of the 60 female 40 male ratio. Any advice? I'm

> too young to join okcupid and deep down I want someone to be smitten with me

> from across the room, not a virtual playground.

>

> The thing is it's a Saturday night and I am alone, eating ramen noodles, and

> wearing my new jeans to sleep in hopes to break them in.. I guess I could

> have gone out .. but my best friend has a boy friend and we are on two

> different playing fields now.. She never wants to do the single stuff

> anymore.. UGH will I be lonely on Saturday night forever? And, why can't I

> stop eating. I gained like 13 lbs this year from stress and the pill to

> clear my acne, my nada, being stalked at college. I have so many unresolved

> issues, I guess I can answer my own questions: I can't have a boy friend

> right now because I need to learn how to love myself and resolve my issues

> before I can let someone in.

>

> These walls have to go though. I want to experiment flirting more with the

> customers.. Being a little more outgoing and confident.. let's see how it

> goes. God, I miss being wanted.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

, It kills me reading your situation. I've already been where you are now

except for one huge difference. I threw those morals to the wind and went crazy

for many years. It was very self defeating and quite horrible. All the sex in

the world will not take away that feeling of loneliness. I promise. It will

also not make the guys stay around. You have to believe me there. Most of them

will have sex with anyone, anytime, anywhere. No feelings necessary. If you

think you feel bad after a kiss and then no return texts, just imagine if you

had gone any further. It is a terrible feeling.

I ended up right where you are now, in college (from 25- 30), alone, no dates,

but with a little girl to raise alone. Your dream man will come along at the

perfect time in your life. I know it. Mine showed up around age 35. I believe

that with a lot more morals, wise decisions, and self love, he would have come

along a lot sooner. You are doing it all the right way. Stay strong and love

YOU.

PS> no more drunk texting, that never ends well.

>

> This is so off topic but I have to know:

>

> I met a guy, we hit it off instantaneously.. We were both a little tipsy and

> kissed. a lot, but nothing else. the next day he texted me .. and then we

> texted for a little he said I was hot and smokin and perfect (which im not

> but it was still flattering and a good sign), and nothing! I am going back

> to school far away in a month, and am 6 years younger than he is.. could

> this be the reason why he isn't texting back. Is it desperate if I text him:

> " I want to see you again when you're in the city, call me sometime. " ... I

> mean this is after a 2 week period of no texts, and the last text I sent was

> last weekend, I said " thinking of you. " I know mushy, but I was intoxicated,

> and just met someone so great, but so not for me, and so I was lonely and

> thinking about how much I liked this guy! And he didn't write me back.. I

> can't believe someone can seem so into you, and then nothing. I know I can't

> let some jerk make me feel bad about myself, but the truth is my pride is

> hurt. And I watch these tv shows like sex and the city, where these women

> are so confident and get men at the snap of their finger, and I feel like

> wow I am so much younger than these people, if I am not enjoying myself

> -carefree and flirtatious- with men when I am young, when am I going to do

> it?

>

> Here's the other revelation: men my own age are not attracted to me! I work

> at express, and part of my job is to greet. When guys my age come in and I

> say hello.. they barely look and nod, when men in their mid to late 20s come

> in, they smile a nice toothy smile and say hey how are you! In the movies,

> and in the novels, and shows, the men are supposed to ask for your number

> and then take you out on a few dates.. I mean, are guys nowadays too lazy to

> put in work.. do they expect to get laid without dating and romance. Here's

> the other thing I've been contemplating: Am I missing out by saving myself

> until the one I love comes along? Am I depriving myself of great sex, just

> because of my stupid moral conscious? I kissed a guy for the first time

> without dating the other day, and look where that got me.. nowhere. I just

> feel like wow, I am a really great catch, and it's not like I want to get

> married and have children, I just want to see a movie, walk in the park and

> make out under the stars, it's so 7th grade but that's okay. I just don't

> know why I have such a hard time getting guys to ask me out. They are

> attracted to me, but then nothing happens. They just look and walk away. And

> at parties, once they hear I'm leaving they run away.. And at school, all

> the guys are slutty because of the 60 female 40 male ratio. Any advice? I'm

> too young to join okcupid and deep down I want someone to be smitten with me

> from across the room, not a virtual playground.

>

> The thing is it's a Saturday night and I am alone, eating ramen noodles, and

> wearing my new jeans to sleep in hopes to break them in.. I guess I could

> have gone out .. but my best friend has a boy friend and we are on two

> different playing fields now.. She never wants to do the single stuff

> anymore.. UGH will I be lonely on Saturday night forever? And, why can't I

> stop eating. I gained like 13 lbs this year from stress and the pill to

> clear my acne, my nada, being stalked at college. I have so many unresolved

> issues, I guess I can answer my own questions: I can't have a boy friend

> right now because I need to learn how to love myself and resolve my issues

> before I can let someone in.

>

> These walls have to go though. I want to experiment flirting more with the

> customers.. Being a little more outgoing and confident.. let's see how it

> goes. God, I miss being wanted.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

- From the standpoint of an old person, who nonetheless was once in your

shoes, here are some thoughts:

I don't know what the deal was with the " brief encounter " guy, but being " a

little tipsy " (or a lot drunk) isn't a great way to meet a new boyfriend. The

term " beer goggles " comes to mind... so maybe he was never interested, maybe he

was but got busy, maybe he ran into somebody older whose lifestyle matches his -

maybe he's a jerk, maybe not. No telling. This is one of those situations you

just chalk up to experience (you got to practice kissing!), and move on. Don't

spend a lot of time worrying about him, or the time you spent together.

Likewise, the guys who come into the store where you work aren't looking for a

girlfriend, they're looking for a shirt or a pair of pants. If you seem

" invisible " to them, it's because they're focused on a shopping list at the

moment. As an employee, you're not immediately identifiable as date-bait. Work

isn't the place to meet guys (i.e. customers). You can stand at the door,

yearning for love, and they still won't pick up on it. Guys are kind of

single-minded that way...

A sociology professor I had years ago told us that we would not likely meet our

mate at a bar, and that we should look for him/her at church instead. That

seemed really simplistic and ridiculously old-fashioned at the time (and still

does) but what he was saying was this - when you're looking for someone to date

- or be your boyfriend - you need to look where there is a high concentration of

guys you'd like to get to know. Men swilling beer in a bar or funneling from a

keg at a frat party - this isn't a good hunting ground, if you get my drift. As

somebody who married a man and is raising a son, I can also guarantee you that

going to the premiere of one of those " Twilight " movies will NOT get you

surrounded by guys, nor will hanging around the girl's dorm, sighing about your

lack of a love life. You have to go " where the boys are. "

So when you get to school, even if there's a 60:40 gender split, you have to

find the places where your fellow students of the male persuasion congregate,

then pick some of those venues where you can be comfortable. Do they play

Ultimate Frisbee? Do they watch intramural sports? Can you bear to get

involved in something like that? Or, if you're the outdoorsy type, does your

college rec department have a bulletin board for kayaking trips, hiking outings,

or sharing expenses for travel? That would give you an instant topic for easy

conversation, and let you assess your fellow travelers - whether they are

competent, or just buffoons. Or what about playing in a pickup band? Joining

the swing dance club? doing a service project with the environmental club?

There MUST be something you're interested in that would also draw some

like-minded guys. And keep in mind that people who are interestED in something

are interestING to talk to.

Even if you don't meet the man of your dreams, you'll wind up being a

better-rounded person with some new friends. Those friends might have other

friends who can lead you to somebody to love. You never know.

Good luck with it - I hope you find a fabulous guy who thinks you're the most

incredible woman in the world. Or at least that you have a good time looking!

>

> This is so off topic but I have to know:

>

> I met a guy, we hit it off instantaneously.. We were both a little tipsy and

> kissed. a lot, but nothing else. the next day he texted me .. and then we

> texted for a little he said I was hot and smokin and perfect (which im not

> but it was still flattering and a good sign), and nothing! I am going back

> to school far away in a month, and am 6 years younger than he is.. could

> this be the reason why he isn't texting back. Is it desperate if I text him:

> " I want to see you again when you're in the city, call me sometime. " ... I

> mean this is after a 2 week period of no texts, and the last text I sent was

> last weekend, I said " thinking of you. " I know mushy, but I was intoxicated,

> and just met someone so great, but so not for me, and so I was lonely and

> thinking about how much I liked this guy! And he didn't write me back.. I

> can't believe someone can seem so into you, and then nothing. I know I can't

> let some jerk make me feel bad about myself, but the truth is my pride is

> hurt. And I watch these tv shows like sex and the city, where these women

> are so confident and get men at the snap of their finger, and I feel like

> wow I am so much younger than these people, if I am not enjoying myself

> -carefree and flirtatious- with men when I am young, when am I going to do

> it?

>

> Here's the other revelation: men my own age are not attracted to me! I work

> at express, and part of my job is to greet. When guys my age come in and I

> say hello.. they barely look and nod, when men in their mid to late 20s come

> in, they smile a nice toothy smile and say hey how are you! In the movies,

> and in the novels, and shows, the men are supposed to ask for your number

> and then take you out on a few dates.. I mean, are guys nowadays too lazy to

> put in work.. do they expect to get laid without dating and romance. Here's

> the other thing I've been contemplating: Am I missing out by saving myself

> until the one I love comes along? Am I depriving myself of great sex, just

> because of my stupid moral conscious? I kissed a guy for the first time

> without dating the other day, and look where that got me.. nowhere. I just

> feel like wow, I am a really great catch, and it's not like I want to get

> married and have children, I just want to see a movie, walk in the park and

> make out under the stars, it's so 7th grade but that's okay. I just don't

> know why I have such a hard time getting guys to ask me out. They are

> attracted to me, but then nothing happens. They just look and walk away. And

> at parties, once they hear I'm leaving they run away.. And at school, all

> the guys are slutty because of the 60 female 40 male ratio. Any advice? I'm

> too young to join okcupid and deep down I want someone to be smitten with me

> from across the room, not a virtual playground.

>

> The thing is it's a Saturday night and I am alone, eating ramen noodles, and

> wearing my new jeans to sleep in hopes to break them in.. I guess I could

> have gone out .. but my best friend has a boy friend and we are on two

> different playing fields now.. She never wants to do the single stuff

> anymore.. UGH will I be lonely on Saturday night forever? And, why can't I

> stop eating. I gained like 13 lbs this year from stress and the pill to

> clear my acne, my nada, being stalked at college. I have so many unresolved

> issues, I guess I can answer my own questions: I can't have a boy friend

> right now because I need to learn how to love myself and resolve my issues

> before I can let someone in.

>

> These walls have to go though. I want to experiment flirting more with the

> customers.. Being a little more outgoing and confident.. let's see how it

> goes. God, I miss being wanted.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

- From the standpoint of an old person, who nonetheless was once in your

shoes, here are some thoughts:

I don't know what the deal was with the " brief encounter " guy, but being " a

little tipsy " (or a lot drunk) isn't a great way to meet a new boyfriend. The

term " beer goggles " comes to mind... so maybe he was never interested, maybe he

was but got busy, maybe he ran into somebody older whose lifestyle matches his -

maybe he's a jerk, maybe not. No telling. This is one of those situations you

just chalk up to experience (you got to practice kissing!), and move on. Don't

spend a lot of time worrying about him, or the time you spent together.

Likewise, the guys who come into the store where you work aren't looking for a

girlfriend, they're looking for a shirt or a pair of pants. If you seem

" invisible " to them, it's because they're focused on a shopping list at the

moment. As an employee, you're not immediately identifiable as date-bait. Work

isn't the place to meet guys (i.e. customers). You can stand at the door,

yearning for love, and they still won't pick up on it. Guys are kind of

single-minded that way...

A sociology professor I had years ago told us that we would not likely meet our

mate at a bar, and that we should look for him/her at church instead. That

seemed really simplistic and ridiculously old-fashioned at the time (and still

does) but what he was saying was this - when you're looking for someone to date

- or be your boyfriend - you need to look where there is a high concentration of

guys you'd like to get to know. Men swilling beer in a bar or funneling from a

keg at a frat party - this isn't a good hunting ground, if you get my drift. As

somebody who married a man and is raising a son, I can also guarantee you that

going to the premiere of one of those " Twilight " movies will NOT get you

surrounded by guys, nor will hanging around the girl's dorm, sighing about your

lack of a love life. You have to go " where the boys are. "

So when you get to school, even if there's a 60:40 gender split, you have to

find the places where your fellow students of the male persuasion congregate,

then pick some of those venues where you can be comfortable. Do they play

Ultimate Frisbee? Do they watch intramural sports? Can you bear to get

involved in something like that? Or, if you're the outdoorsy type, does your

college rec department have a bulletin board for kayaking trips, hiking outings,

or sharing expenses for travel? That would give you an instant topic for easy

conversation, and let you assess your fellow travelers - whether they are

competent, or just buffoons. Or what about playing in a pickup band? Joining

the swing dance club? doing a service project with the environmental club?

There MUST be something you're interested in that would also draw some

like-minded guys. And keep in mind that people who are interestED in something

are interestING to talk to.

Even if you don't meet the man of your dreams, you'll wind up being a

better-rounded person with some new friends. Those friends might have other

friends who can lead you to somebody to love. You never know.

Good luck with it - I hope you find a fabulous guy who thinks you're the most

incredible woman in the world. Or at least that you have a good time looking!

>

> This is so off topic but I have to know:

>

> I met a guy, we hit it off instantaneously.. We were both a little tipsy and

> kissed. a lot, but nothing else. the next day he texted me .. and then we

> texted for a little he said I was hot and smokin and perfect (which im not

> but it was still flattering and a good sign), and nothing! I am going back

> to school far away in a month, and am 6 years younger than he is.. could

> this be the reason why he isn't texting back. Is it desperate if I text him:

> " I want to see you again when you're in the city, call me sometime. " ... I

> mean this is after a 2 week period of no texts, and the last text I sent was

> last weekend, I said " thinking of you. " I know mushy, but I was intoxicated,

> and just met someone so great, but so not for me, and so I was lonely and

> thinking about how much I liked this guy! And he didn't write me back.. I

> can't believe someone can seem so into you, and then nothing. I know I can't

> let some jerk make me feel bad about myself, but the truth is my pride is

> hurt. And I watch these tv shows like sex and the city, where these women

> are so confident and get men at the snap of their finger, and I feel like

> wow I am so much younger than these people, if I am not enjoying myself

> -carefree and flirtatious- with men when I am young, when am I going to do

> it?

>

> Here's the other revelation: men my own age are not attracted to me! I work

> at express, and part of my job is to greet. When guys my age come in and I

> say hello.. they barely look and nod, when men in their mid to late 20s come

> in, they smile a nice toothy smile and say hey how are you! In the movies,

> and in the novels, and shows, the men are supposed to ask for your number

> and then take you out on a few dates.. I mean, are guys nowadays too lazy to

> put in work.. do they expect to get laid without dating and romance. Here's

> the other thing I've been contemplating: Am I missing out by saving myself

> until the one I love comes along? Am I depriving myself of great sex, just

> because of my stupid moral conscious? I kissed a guy for the first time

> without dating the other day, and look where that got me.. nowhere. I just

> feel like wow, I am a really great catch, and it's not like I want to get

> married and have children, I just want to see a movie, walk in the park and

> make out under the stars, it's so 7th grade but that's okay. I just don't

> know why I have such a hard time getting guys to ask me out. They are

> attracted to me, but then nothing happens. They just look and walk away. And

> at parties, once they hear I'm leaving they run away.. And at school, all

> the guys are slutty because of the 60 female 40 male ratio. Any advice? I'm

> too young to join okcupid and deep down I want someone to be smitten with me

> from across the room, not a virtual playground.

>

> The thing is it's a Saturday night and I am alone, eating ramen noodles, and

> wearing my new jeans to sleep in hopes to break them in.. I guess I could

> have gone out .. but my best friend has a boy friend and we are on two

> different playing fields now.. She never wants to do the single stuff

> anymore.. UGH will I be lonely on Saturday night forever? And, why can't I

> stop eating. I gained like 13 lbs this year from stress and the pill to

> clear my acne, my nada, being stalked at college. I have so many unresolved

> issues, I guess I can answer my own questions: I can't have a boy friend

> right now because I need to learn how to love myself and resolve my issues

> before I can let someone in.

>

> These walls have to go though. I want to experiment flirting more with the

> customers.. Being a little more outgoing and confident.. let's see how it

> goes. God, I miss being wanted.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

- From the standpoint of an old person, who nonetheless was once in your

shoes, here are some thoughts:

I don't know what the deal was with the " brief encounter " guy, but being " a

little tipsy " (or a lot drunk) isn't a great way to meet a new boyfriend. The

term " beer goggles " comes to mind... so maybe he was never interested, maybe he

was but got busy, maybe he ran into somebody older whose lifestyle matches his -

maybe he's a jerk, maybe not. No telling. This is one of those situations you

just chalk up to experience (you got to practice kissing!), and move on. Don't

spend a lot of time worrying about him, or the time you spent together.

Likewise, the guys who come into the store where you work aren't looking for a

girlfriend, they're looking for a shirt or a pair of pants. If you seem

" invisible " to them, it's because they're focused on a shopping list at the

moment. As an employee, you're not immediately identifiable as date-bait. Work

isn't the place to meet guys (i.e. customers). You can stand at the door,

yearning for love, and they still won't pick up on it. Guys are kind of

single-minded that way...

A sociology professor I had years ago told us that we would not likely meet our

mate at a bar, and that we should look for him/her at church instead. That

seemed really simplistic and ridiculously old-fashioned at the time (and still

does) but what he was saying was this - when you're looking for someone to date

- or be your boyfriend - you need to look where there is a high concentration of

guys you'd like to get to know. Men swilling beer in a bar or funneling from a

keg at a frat party - this isn't a good hunting ground, if you get my drift. As

somebody who married a man and is raising a son, I can also guarantee you that

going to the premiere of one of those " Twilight " movies will NOT get you

surrounded by guys, nor will hanging around the girl's dorm, sighing about your

lack of a love life. You have to go " where the boys are. "

So when you get to school, even if there's a 60:40 gender split, you have to

find the places where your fellow students of the male persuasion congregate,

then pick some of those venues where you can be comfortable. Do they play

Ultimate Frisbee? Do they watch intramural sports? Can you bear to get

involved in something like that? Or, if you're the outdoorsy type, does your

college rec department have a bulletin board for kayaking trips, hiking outings,

or sharing expenses for travel? That would give you an instant topic for easy

conversation, and let you assess your fellow travelers - whether they are

competent, or just buffoons. Or what about playing in a pickup band? Joining

the swing dance club? doing a service project with the environmental club?

There MUST be something you're interested in that would also draw some

like-minded guys. And keep in mind that people who are interestED in something

are interestING to talk to.

Even if you don't meet the man of your dreams, you'll wind up being a

better-rounded person with some new friends. Those friends might have other

friends who can lead you to somebody to love. You never know.

Good luck with it - I hope you find a fabulous guy who thinks you're the most

incredible woman in the world. Or at least that you have a good time looking!

>

> This is so off topic but I have to know:

>

> I met a guy, we hit it off instantaneously.. We were both a little tipsy and

> kissed. a lot, but nothing else. the next day he texted me .. and then we

> texted for a little he said I was hot and smokin and perfect (which im not

> but it was still flattering and a good sign), and nothing! I am going back

> to school far away in a month, and am 6 years younger than he is.. could

> this be the reason why he isn't texting back. Is it desperate if I text him:

> " I want to see you again when you're in the city, call me sometime. " ... I

> mean this is after a 2 week period of no texts, and the last text I sent was

> last weekend, I said " thinking of you. " I know mushy, but I was intoxicated,

> and just met someone so great, but so not for me, and so I was lonely and

> thinking about how much I liked this guy! And he didn't write me back.. I

> can't believe someone can seem so into you, and then nothing. I know I can't

> let some jerk make me feel bad about myself, but the truth is my pride is

> hurt. And I watch these tv shows like sex and the city, where these women

> are so confident and get men at the snap of their finger, and I feel like

> wow I am so much younger than these people, if I am not enjoying myself

> -carefree and flirtatious- with men when I am young, when am I going to do

> it?

>

> Here's the other revelation: men my own age are not attracted to me! I work

> at express, and part of my job is to greet. When guys my age come in and I

> say hello.. they barely look and nod, when men in their mid to late 20s come

> in, they smile a nice toothy smile and say hey how are you! In the movies,

> and in the novels, and shows, the men are supposed to ask for your number

> and then take you out on a few dates.. I mean, are guys nowadays too lazy to

> put in work.. do they expect to get laid without dating and romance. Here's

> the other thing I've been contemplating: Am I missing out by saving myself

> until the one I love comes along? Am I depriving myself of great sex, just

> because of my stupid moral conscious? I kissed a guy for the first time

> without dating the other day, and look where that got me.. nowhere. I just

> feel like wow, I am a really great catch, and it's not like I want to get

> married and have children, I just want to see a movie, walk in the park and

> make out under the stars, it's so 7th grade but that's okay. I just don't

> know why I have such a hard time getting guys to ask me out. They are

> attracted to me, but then nothing happens. They just look and walk away. And

> at parties, once they hear I'm leaving they run away.. And at school, all

> the guys are slutty because of the 60 female 40 male ratio. Any advice? I'm

> too young to join okcupid and deep down I want someone to be smitten with me

> from across the room, not a virtual playground.

>

> The thing is it's a Saturday night and I am alone, eating ramen noodles, and

> wearing my new jeans to sleep in hopes to break them in.. I guess I could

> have gone out .. but my best friend has a boy friend and we are on two

> different playing fields now.. She never wants to do the single stuff

> anymore.. UGH will I be lonely on Saturday night forever? And, why can't I

> stop eating. I gained like 13 lbs this year from stress and the pill to

> clear my acne, my nada, being stalked at college. I have so many unresolved

> issues, I guess I can answer my own questions: I can't have a boy friend

> right now because I need to learn how to love myself and resolve my issues

> before I can let someone in.

>

> These walls have to go though. I want to experiment flirting more with the

> customers.. Being a little more outgoing and confident.. let's see how it

> goes. God, I miss being wanted.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

- Can you see this gang of older women gathered around you, yelling

" Noooooooooo! - don't cave in to the horndogs!! "

Wendi is absolutely right - hang on to your standards and take it slow. It

really is going to get better, as long as you continue to work on YOU - keep

learning, keep taking care of yourself, keep being open to new friendships (not

hookups - friendships).

Men may indeed love " bitches " - just like women love " bad boys " - but while they

are temporarily fascinating, they're exhausting to live with and not worth it in

the end. Nice people really do wind up together, much of the time.

Your friend sounds like a gem - gay guys are wonderful friends, and they'll

outlast any series of boyfriends.

I wanted to clarify what I said before - don't go do activities just because

there are guys there. Winding up watching NFL games every Monday - when you

hate football - would be self-defeating. So if you had plenty of money and

time, and you were planning the vacation of your dreams, what five things would

you do? Make a list, then figure out how you can start doing each of those

things while you're at school. Those are the activities you should pursue.

Even if one of your dreams is to spend your life studying the works of Jane

Austen, you might run into a dreamy Faulkner scholar if you join the literary

society. Go with what you want to do, but pursue your passions for your own

sake - and you'll run into people who are pursuing theirs.

And hey, even if it doesn't happen while you're in school, you have a LOT of

years left in your life - and the guys you meet after graduation will actually

have jobs!

Hang in there -

> >

> > This is so off topic but I have to know:

> >

> > I met a guy, we hit it off instantaneously.. We were both a little tipsy and

> > kissed. a lot, but nothing else. the next day he texted me .. and then we

> > texted for a little he said I was hot and smokin and perfect (which im not

> > but it was still flattering and a good sign), and nothing! I am going back

> > to school far away in a month, and am 6 years younger than he is.. could

> > this be the reason why he isn't texting back. Is it desperate if I text him:

> > " I want to see you again when you're in the city, call me sometime. " ... I

> > mean this is after a 2 week period of no texts, and the last text I sent was

> > last weekend, I said " thinking of you. " I know mushy, but I was intoxicated,

> > and just met someone so great, but so not for me, and so I was lonely and

> > thinking about how much I liked this guy! And he didn't write me back.. I

> > can't believe someone can seem so into you, and then nothing. I know I can't

> > let some jerk make me feel bad about myself, but the truth is my pride is

> > hurt. And I watch these tv shows like sex and the city, where these women

> > are so confident and get men at the snap of their finger, and I feel like

> > wow I am so much younger than these people, if I am not enjoying myself

> > -carefree and flirtatious- with men when I am young, when am I going to do

> > it?

> >

> > Here's the other revelation: men my own age are not attracted to me! I work

> > at express, and part of my job is to greet. When guys my age come in and I

> > say hello.. they barely look and nod, when men in their mid to late 20s come

> > in, they smile a nice toothy smile and say hey how are you! In the movies,

> > and in the novels, and shows, the men are supposed to ask for your number

> > and then take you out on a few dates.. I mean, are guys nowadays too lazy to

> > put in work.. do they expect to get laid without dating and romance. Here's

> > the other thing I've been contemplating: Am I missing out by saving myself

> > until the one I love comes along? Am I depriving myself of great sex, just

> > because of my stupid moral conscious? I kissed a guy for the first time

> > without dating the other day, and look where that got me.. nowhere. I just

> > feel like wow, I am a really great catch, and it's not like I want to get

> > married and have children, I just want to see a movie, walk in the park and

> > make out under the stars, it's so 7th grade but that's okay. I just don't

> > know why I have such a hard time getting guys to ask me out. They are

> > attracted to me, but then nothing happens. They just look and walk away. And

> > at parties, once they hear I'm leaving they run away.. And at school, all

> > the guys are slutty because of the 60 female 40 male ratio. Any advice? I'm

> > too young to join okcupid and deep down I want someone to be smitten with me

> > from across the room, not a virtual playground.

> >

> > The thing is it's a Saturday night and I am alone, eating ramen noodles, and

> > wearing my new jeans to sleep in hopes to break them in.. I guess I could

> > have gone out .. but my best friend has a boy friend and we are on two

> > different playing fields now.. She never wants to do the single stuff

> > anymore.. UGH will I be lonely on Saturday night forever? And, why can't I

> > stop eating. I gained like 13 lbs this year from stress and the pill to

> > clear my acne, my nada, being stalked at college. I have so many unresolved

> > issues, I guess I can answer my own questions: I can't have a boy friend

> > right now because I need to learn how to love myself and resolve my issues

> > before I can let someone in.

> >

> > These walls have to go though. I want to experiment flirting more with the

> > customers.. Being a little more outgoing and confident.. let's see how it

> > goes. God, I miss being wanted.

> >

> >

> >