Re: walls and gates = romantic relationships

[Guest guest]

- Can you see this gang of older women gathered around you, yelling

" Noooooooooo! - don't cave in to the horndogs!! "

Wendi is absolutely right - hang on to your standards and take it slow. It

really is going to get better, as long as you continue to work on YOU - keep

learning, keep taking care of yourself, keep being open to new friendships (not

hookups - friendships).

Men may indeed love " bitches " - just like women love " bad boys " - but while they

are temporarily fascinating, they're exhausting to live with and not worth it in

the end. Nice people really do wind up together, much of the time.

Your friend sounds like a gem - gay guys are wonderful friends, and they'll

outlast any series of boyfriends.

I wanted to clarify what I said before - don't go do activities just because

there are guys there. Winding up watching NFL games every Monday - when you

hate football - would be self-defeating. So if you had plenty of money and

time, and you were planning the vacation of your dreams, what five things would

you do? Make a list, then figure out how you can start doing each of those

things while you're at school. Those are the activities you should pursue.

Even if one of your dreams is to spend your life studying the works of Jane

Austen, you might run into a dreamy Faulkner scholar if you join the literary

society. Go with what you want to do, but pursue your passions for your own

sake - and you'll run into people who are pursuing theirs.

And hey, even if it doesn't happen while you're in school, you have a LOT of

years left in your life - and the guys you meet after graduation will actually

have jobs!

Hang in there -

> >

> > This is so off topic but I have to know:

> >

> > I met a guy, we hit it off instantaneously.. We were both a little tipsy and

> > kissed. a lot, but nothing else. the next day he texted me .. and then we

> > texted for a little he said I was hot and smokin and perfect (which im not

> > but it was still flattering and a good sign), and nothing! I am going back

> > to school far away in a month, and am 6 years younger than he is.. could

> > this be the reason why he isn't texting back. Is it desperate if I text him:

> > " I want to see you again when you're in the city, call me sometime. " ... I

> > mean this is after a 2 week period of no texts, and the last text I sent was

> > last weekend, I said " thinking of you. " I know mushy, but I was intoxicated,

> > and just met someone so great, but so not for me, and so I was lonely and

> > thinking about how much I liked this guy! And he didn't write me back.. I

> > can't believe someone can seem so into you, and then nothing. I know I can't

> > let some jerk make me feel bad about myself, but the truth is my pride is

> > hurt. And I watch these tv shows like sex and the city, where these women

> > are so confident and get men at the snap of their finger, and I feel like

> > wow I am so much younger than these people, if I am not enjoying myself

> > -carefree and flirtatious- with men when I am young, when am I going to do

> > it?

> >

> > Here's the other revelation: men my own age are not attracted to me! I work

> > at express, and part of my job is to greet. When guys my age come in and I

> > say hello.. they barely look and nod, when men in their mid to late 20s come

> > in, they smile a nice toothy smile and say hey how are you! In the movies,

> > and in the novels, and shows, the men are supposed to ask for your number

> > and then take you out on a few dates.. I mean, are guys nowadays too lazy to

> > put in work.. do they expect to get laid without dating and romance. Here's

> > the other thing I've been contemplating: Am I missing out by saving myself

> > until the one I love comes along? Am I depriving myself of great sex, just

> > because of my stupid moral conscious? I kissed a guy for the first time

> > without dating the other day, and look where that got me.. nowhere. I just

> > feel like wow, I am a really great catch, and it's not like I want to get

> > married and have children, I just want to see a movie, walk in the park and

> > make out under the stars, it's so 7th grade but that's okay. I just don't

> > know why I have such a hard time getting guys to ask me out. They are

> > attracted to me, but then nothing happens. They just look and walk away. And

> > at parties, once they hear I'm leaving they run away.. And at school, all

> > the guys are slutty because of the 60 female 40 male ratio. Any advice? I'm

> > too young to join okcupid and deep down I want someone to be smitten with me

> > from across the room, not a virtual playground.

> >

> > The thing is it's a Saturday night and I am alone, eating ramen noodles, and

> > wearing my new jeans to sleep in hopes to break them in.. I guess I could

> > have gone out .. but my best friend has a boy friend and we are on two

> > different playing fields now.. She never wants to do the single stuff

> > anymore.. UGH will I be lonely on Saturday night forever? And, why can't I

> > stop eating. I gained like 13 lbs this year from stress and the pill to

> > clear my acne, my nada, being stalked at college. I have so many unresolved

> > issues, I guess I can answer my own questions: I can't have a boy friend

> > right now because I need to learn how to love myself and resolve my issues

> > before I can let someone in.

> >

> > These walls have to go though. I want to experiment flirting more with the

> > customers.. Being a little more outgoing and confident.. let's see how it

> > goes. God, I miss being wanted.

> >

> >

> >