Re: I must have a sign on my forehead!!!

[Guest guest]

phine,

you know, I wonder if that's why I feel that need to explain myself all the

time. My parents were like that, too. They would say I was a liar if I snuck a

donut (oy, I remember that once. I ate an extra donut and I could hear them

laughing about me in the next room) or did anything without them knowing. I

tried to explain why I wanted it and that I was sorry.

(Interesting about that; to this day, if I do something without telling mother,

I feel SUCH guilt. My brother is like this, too. I've posted about how I'm

trying to avoid telling my mother about a trip my husband and daughter are

taking to a national park and my brother said to me the other day, " you're not

telling her???? do you think that's a good idea? " We're so conditioned. I

mean, we're adults!!!)

Yup, I blew her off. No call back. SO glad I didn't give in to that!!!

Thank you for helping me through that!

> >

> > It says, " if you have BPD...or really ANY PD that requires me to lose my

identity and be available to you 24/7, inquire here! "

> >

> > UGGGRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH! It's like I attract needy people.

> >

> > She's from my church.

> > I don't mind giving people rides once in a while.

> > I don't mind listening to others' problems once in a while.

> >

> > But this woman from my church left me the most presumptuous message that

displayed her sense of entitlement loud and clear. GGGRRRRRR!!!

> >

> > She said, " I've already left other messages regarding tomorrow's event and I

haven't heard back! [exasperated sigh] " She is the type of person that will go

on and on and on and on, regardless of others' shifting in their seats, looking

at their watches, etc. So her voice mail was her blabbing and doing the same.

> >

> > I had already been in touch with her about the event she mentioned and she

said she couldn't go so NOW...she changed her mind and expected me to be at the

ready with my coach to escort her.

> >

> > I just feel such conflicting feelings. It triggers a lot, mainly:

> > * her message made me feel like flipping her the bird!!!

> > * and it made me feel like calling her back and EXPLAINING. Explaining what

the misunderstanding was and trying to patch things up. In other words, doing

the people pleasing sappy things I sometimes do.

> >

> > I decided NOT to call her back at all. I just feel like I already get this

crap from my mother. It's scary how easily I get drawn into it. I have to make

an effort to distance myself from it!

> >

> > Do any of you feel this pull toward needy, demanding people??

> >

>