Re: I must have a sign on my forehead!!!

[Guest guest]

Yep, I can relate. I agree with others who've said that these people are

testing everyone and since KO's just happen to have more tolerance for crazy

behavior we (well, some of us) don't run away fast or soon enough. I give a lot

of benefit of the doubt too early but then by the time I realize it's too late.

>

> It says, " if you have BPD...or really ANY PD that requires me to lose my

identity and be available to you 24/7, inquire here! "

>

> UGGGRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH! It's like I attract needy people.

>

> She's from my church.

> I don't mind giving people rides once in a while.

> I don't mind listening to others' problems once in a while.

>

> But this woman from my church left me the most presumptuous message that

displayed her sense of entitlement loud and clear. GGGRRRRRR!!!

>

> She said, " I've already left other messages regarding tomorrow's event and I

haven't heard back! [exasperated sigh] " She is the type of person that will go

on and on and on and on, regardless of others' shifting in their seats, looking

at their watches, etc. So her voice mail was her blabbing and doing the same.

>

> I had already been in touch with her about the event she mentioned and she

said she couldn't go so NOW...she changed her mind and expected me to be at the

ready with my coach to escort her.

>

> I just feel such conflicting feelings. It triggers a lot, mainly:

> * her message made me feel like flipping her the bird!!!

> * and it made me feel like calling her back and EXPLAINING. Explaining what

the misunderstanding was and trying to patch things up. In other words, doing

the people pleasing sappy things I sometimes do.

>

> I decided NOT to call her back at all. I just feel like I already get this

crap from my mother. It's scary how easily I get drawn into it. I have to make

an effort to distance myself from it!

>

> Do any of you feel this pull toward needy, demanding people??

>

[Guest guest]

Yep, I can relate. I agree with others who've said that these people are

testing everyone and since KO's just happen to have more tolerance for crazy

behavior we (well, some of us) don't run away fast or soon enough. I give a lot

of benefit of the doubt too early but then by the time I realize it's too late.

>

> It says, " if you have BPD...or really ANY PD that requires me to lose my

identity and be available to you 24/7, inquire here! "

>

> UGGGRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH! It's like I attract needy people.

>

> She's from my church.

> I don't mind giving people rides once in a while.

> I don't mind listening to others' problems once in a while.

>

> But this woman from my church left me the most presumptuous message that

displayed her sense of entitlement loud and clear. GGGRRRRRR!!!

>

> She said, " I've already left other messages regarding tomorrow's event and I

haven't heard back! [exasperated sigh] " She is the type of person that will go

on and on and on and on, regardless of others' shifting in their seats, looking

at their watches, etc. So her voice mail was her blabbing and doing the same.

>

> I had already been in touch with her about the event she mentioned and she

said she couldn't go so NOW...she changed her mind and expected me to be at the

ready with my coach to escort her.

>

> I just feel such conflicting feelings. It triggers a lot, mainly:

> * her message made me feel like flipping her the bird!!!

> * and it made me feel like calling her back and EXPLAINING. Explaining what

the misunderstanding was and trying to patch things up. In other words, doing

the people pleasing sappy things I sometimes do.

>

> I decided NOT to call her back at all. I just feel like I already get this

crap from my mother. It's scary how easily I get drawn into it. I have to make

an effort to distance myself from it!

>

> Do any of you feel this pull toward needy, demanding people??

>

[Guest guest]

Yep, I can relate. I agree with others who've said that these people are

testing everyone and since KO's just happen to have more tolerance for crazy

behavior we (well, some of us) don't run away fast or soon enough. I give a lot

of benefit of the doubt too early but then by the time I realize it's too late.

>

> It says, " if you have BPD...or really ANY PD that requires me to lose my

identity and be available to you 24/7, inquire here! "

>

> UGGGRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH! It's like I attract needy people.

>

> She's from my church.

> I don't mind giving people rides once in a while.

> I don't mind listening to others' problems once in a while.

>

> But this woman from my church left me the most presumptuous message that

displayed her sense of entitlement loud and clear. GGGRRRRRR!!!

>

> She said, " I've already left other messages regarding tomorrow's event and I

haven't heard back! [exasperated sigh] " She is the type of person that will go

on and on and on and on, regardless of others' shifting in their seats, looking

at their watches, etc. So her voice mail was her blabbing and doing the same.

>

> I had already been in touch with her about the event she mentioned and she

said she couldn't go so NOW...she changed her mind and expected me to be at the

ready with my coach to escort her.

>

> I just feel such conflicting feelings. It triggers a lot, mainly:

> * her message made me feel like flipping her the bird!!!

> * and it made me feel like calling her back and EXPLAINING. Explaining what

the misunderstanding was and trying to patch things up. In other words, doing

the people pleasing sappy things I sometimes do.

>

> I decided NOT to call her back at all. I just feel like I already get this

crap from my mother. It's scary how easily I get drawn into it. I have to make

an effort to distance myself from it!

>

> Do any of you feel this pull toward needy, demanding people??

>

[Guest guest]

,

these are great ideas to gain more insight into why I draw these people. I am so

going to do them!!

Something you said really made me think. You said, " Then I just scrambled for

needy people so I would have a safe haven when nada dropped by all the time and

let herself into my place. "

It stopped me b/c it made me wonder if the reason I've done some of the bigger

things in my life: got married, had 2 kids, got involved in church---were,

naturally, partly for the pleasure of these things, because they were things I

wanted in my life---BUT at another level, I wonder if I did them to put a

barrier between myself and her.

Or, maybe they just naturally worked out that way. Even if I'd decided to become

a circus performer--anything that took me out of her reach--would have been a

barrier I guess!

As I got into my 20s, my mother got more and more desperate to cling to me, to

not let me leave home or do things unless she knew why/when/how/what I was

doing. It just became unbearable.

I remember when I told my parents I was pregnant with my 2nd child. It's so

painful to even write this and to remember it. Both of them reacted as though

I'd told them I was leaving to live on a leper colony.

They both literally said I was f***ing up my life, that I would regret it. I

wrote my mother a long letter after that " conversation " with them, letting her

know what a loser she was as a mother. My father intercepted it and said my

mother was a mentally sick woman and that he would not let her see my letter.

ANYway, all of that to say--my parents almost seemed angry that my having a 2nd

child would keep me from being there for THEM, from helping THEM.

Ugh, that horrid woman from church just dredged all this up. Maybe that's good!

thanks again, .

Fiona

> >

> > It says, " if you have BPD...or really ANY PD that requires me to lose my

identity and be available to you 24/7, inquire here! "

> >

> > UGGGRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH! It's like I attract needy people.

> >

> > She's from my church.

> > I don't mind giving people rides once in a while.

> > I don't mind listening to others' problems once in a while.

> >

> > But this woman from my church left me the most presumptuous message that

displayed her sense of entitlement loud and clear. GGGRRRRRR!!!

> >

> > She said, " I've already left other messages regarding tomorrow's event and I

haven't heard back! [exasperated sigh] " She is the type of person that will go

on and on and on and on, regardless of others' shifting in their seats, looking

at their watches, etc. So her voice mail was her blabbing and doing the same.

> >

> > I had already been in touch with her about the event she mentioned and she

said she couldn't go so NOW...she changed her mind and expected me to be at the

ready with my coach to escort her.

> >

> > I just feel such conflicting feelings. It triggers a lot, mainly:

> > * her message made me feel like flipping her the bird!!!

> > * and it made me feel like calling her back and EXPLAINING. Explaining what

the misunderstanding was and trying to patch things up. In other words, doing

the people pleasing sappy things I sometimes do.

> >

> > I decided NOT to call her back at all. I just feel like I already get this

crap from my mother. It's scary how easily I get drawn into it. I have to make

an effort to distance myself from it!

> >

> > Do any of you feel this pull toward needy, demanding people??

> >

>

[Guest guest]

,

these are great ideas to gain more insight into why I draw these people. I am so

going to do them!!

Something you said really made me think. You said, " Then I just scrambled for

needy people so I would have a safe haven when nada dropped by all the time and

let herself into my place. "

It stopped me b/c it made me wonder if the reason I've done some of the bigger

things in my life: got married, had 2 kids, got involved in church---were,

naturally, partly for the pleasure of these things, because they were things I

wanted in my life---BUT at another level, I wonder if I did them to put a

barrier between myself and her.

Or, maybe they just naturally worked out that way. Even if I'd decided to become

a circus performer--anything that took me out of her reach--would have been a

barrier I guess!

As I got into my 20s, my mother got more and more desperate to cling to me, to

not let me leave home or do things unless she knew why/when/how/what I was

doing. It just became unbearable.

I remember when I told my parents I was pregnant with my 2nd child. It's so

painful to even write this and to remember it. Both of them reacted as though

I'd told them I was leaving to live on a leper colony.

They both literally said I was f***ing up my life, that I would regret it. I

wrote my mother a long letter after that " conversation " with them, letting her

know what a loser she was as a mother. My father intercepted it and said my

mother was a mentally sick woman and that he would not let her see my letter.

ANYway, all of that to say--my parents almost seemed angry that my having a 2nd

child would keep me from being there for THEM, from helping THEM.

Ugh, that horrid woman from church just dredged all this up. Maybe that's good!

thanks again, .

Fiona

> >

> > It says, " if you have BPD...or really ANY PD that requires me to lose my

identity and be available to you 24/7, inquire here! "

> >

> > UGGGRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH! It's like I attract needy people.

> >

> > She's from my church.

> > I don't mind giving people rides once in a while.

> > I don't mind listening to others' problems once in a while.

> >

> > But this woman from my church left me the most presumptuous message that

displayed her sense of entitlement loud and clear. GGGRRRRRR!!!

> >

> > She said, " I've already left other messages regarding tomorrow's event and I

haven't heard back! [exasperated sigh] " She is the type of person that will go

on and on and on and on, regardless of others' shifting in their seats, looking

at their watches, etc. So her voice mail was her blabbing and doing the same.

> >

> > I had already been in touch with her about the event she mentioned and she

said she couldn't go so NOW...she changed her mind and expected me to be at the

ready with my coach to escort her.

> >

> > I just feel such conflicting feelings. It triggers a lot, mainly:

> > * her message made me feel like flipping her the bird!!!

> > * and it made me feel like calling her back and EXPLAINING. Explaining what

the misunderstanding was and trying to patch things up. In other words, doing

the people pleasing sappy things I sometimes do.

> >

> > I decided NOT to call her back at all. I just feel like I already get this

crap from my mother. It's scary how easily I get drawn into it. I have to make

an effort to distance myself from it!

> >

> > Do any of you feel this pull toward needy, demanding people??

> >

>

[Guest guest]

,

these are great ideas to gain more insight into why I draw these people. I am so

going to do them!!

Something you said really made me think. You said, " Then I just scrambled for

needy people so I would have a safe haven when nada dropped by all the time and

let herself into my place. "

It stopped me b/c it made me wonder if the reason I've done some of the bigger

things in my life: got married, had 2 kids, got involved in church---were,

naturally, partly for the pleasure of these things, because they were things I

wanted in my life---BUT at another level, I wonder if I did them to put a

barrier between myself and her.

Or, maybe they just naturally worked out that way. Even if I'd decided to become

a circus performer--anything that took me out of her reach--would have been a

barrier I guess!

As I got into my 20s, my mother got more and more desperate to cling to me, to

not let me leave home or do things unless she knew why/when/how/what I was

doing. It just became unbearable.

I remember when I told my parents I was pregnant with my 2nd child. It's so

painful to even write this and to remember it. Both of them reacted as though

I'd told them I was leaving to live on a leper colony.

They both literally said I was f***ing up my life, that I would regret it. I

wrote my mother a long letter after that " conversation " with them, letting her

know what a loser she was as a mother. My father intercepted it and said my

mother was a mentally sick woman and that he would not let her see my letter.

ANYway, all of that to say--my parents almost seemed angry that my having a 2nd

child would keep me from being there for THEM, from helping THEM.

Ugh, that horrid woman from church just dredged all this up. Maybe that's good!

thanks again, .

Fiona

> >

> > It says, " if you have BPD...or really ANY PD that requires me to lose my

identity and be available to you 24/7, inquire here! "

> >

> > UGGGRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH! It's like I attract needy people.

> >

> > She's from my church.

> > I don't mind giving people rides once in a while.

> > I don't mind listening to others' problems once in a while.

> >

> > But this woman from my church left me the most presumptuous message that

displayed her sense of entitlement loud and clear. GGGRRRRRR!!!

> >

> > She said, " I've already left other messages regarding tomorrow's event and I

haven't heard back! [exasperated sigh] " She is the type of person that will go

on and on and on and on, regardless of others' shifting in their seats, looking

at their watches, etc. So her voice mail was her blabbing and doing the same.

> >

> > I had already been in touch with her about the event she mentioned and she

said she couldn't go so NOW...she changed her mind and expected me to be at the

ready with my coach to escort her.

> >

> > I just feel such conflicting feelings. It triggers a lot, mainly:

> > * her message made me feel like flipping her the bird!!!

> > * and it made me feel like calling her back and EXPLAINING. Explaining what

the misunderstanding was and trying to patch things up. In other words, doing

the people pleasing sappy things I sometimes do.

> >

> > I decided NOT to call her back at all. I just feel like I already get this

crap from my mother. It's scary how easily I get drawn into it. I have to make

an effort to distance myself from it!

> >

> > Do any of you feel this pull toward needy, demanding people??

> >

>

[Guest guest]

phine,

you know, I wonder if that's why I feel that need to explain myself all the

time. My parents were like that, too. They would say I was a liar if I snuck a

donut (oy, I remember that once. I ate an extra donut and I could hear them

laughing about me in the next room) or did anything without them knowing. I

tried to explain why I wanted it and that I was sorry.

(Interesting about that; to this day, if I do something without telling mother,

I feel SUCH guilt. My brother is like this, too. I've posted about how I'm

trying to avoid telling my mother about a trip my husband and daughter are

taking to a national park and my brother said to me the other day, " you're not

telling her???? do you think that's a good idea? " We're so conditioned. I

mean, we're adults!!!)

Yup, I blew her off. No call back. SO glad I didn't give in to that!!!

Thank you for helping me through that!

> >

> > It says, " if you have BPD...or really ANY PD that requires me to lose my

identity and be available to you 24/7, inquire here! "

> >

> > UGGGRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH! It's like I attract needy people.

> >

> > She's from my church.

> > I don't mind giving people rides once in a while.

> > I don't mind listening to others' problems once in a while.

> >

> > But this woman from my church left me the most presumptuous message that

displayed her sense of entitlement loud and clear. GGGRRRRRR!!!

> >

> > She said, " I've already left other messages regarding tomorrow's event and I

haven't heard back! [exasperated sigh] " She is the type of person that will go

on and on and on and on, regardless of others' shifting in their seats, looking

at their watches, etc. So her voice mail was her blabbing and doing the same.

> >

> > I had already been in touch with her about the event she mentioned and she

said she couldn't go so NOW...she changed her mind and expected me to be at the

ready with my coach to escort her.

> >

> > I just feel such conflicting feelings. It triggers a lot, mainly:

> > * her message made me feel like flipping her the bird!!!

> > * and it made me feel like calling her back and EXPLAINING. Explaining what

the misunderstanding was and trying to patch things up. In other words, doing

the people pleasing sappy things I sometimes do.

> >

> > I decided NOT to call her back at all. I just feel like I already get this

crap from my mother. It's scary how easily I get drawn into it. I have to make

an effort to distance myself from it!

> >

> > Do any of you feel this pull toward needy, demanding people??

> >

>