taking time

[Guest guest]

I am a new member to the group - though not to obsessing about weight

issues. I don't know if it is okay to talk about specific foods - if

I remember right some group I was in somewhere along this journey

many years ago forbid that (OA?).

I declared this as a day to practice self-care! I called in sick to

work - something I hardly ever, ever do - and even exaggerated a

small headache to my husband as an excuse to stay home. I am ticking

things off my to-do list which feels good and catching up on the

Intuitive Eating posts.

Hunger hits! What do I want? What do I REALLY want? Sugary granola

which I hardly ever let myself eat? No, something HOT. Okay - steel

cut oats with flax seed. Into that I add about 1/8 cup of

huckleberries. For those of you who don't know what those are: they

are GOLD. Takes forever to pick about a cup - they are about 1/5th

the size of a smallish blueberry. I NEVER eat them unless I am making

something for my family (who also helps pick though not as fast as

I!). I feel a bit guilty but know I will love every tiny one. I chop

up a few walnuts and add a BIG spoonful of almond butter. Onto all

that I add milk that I have HEATED up - who ever has time for THAT on

typical mornings getting everyone, including me, out the door. For

heaven's sake: I even heat up my bowl!

My pattern is to read when eating - but NO. I sit my butt down in the

rocking chair and chew slowly as I watch the birds feed from the

feeder. I contemplate about how much I yearn for inner peace - and

enjoy this simple bowl of food. I think about how I crave inner

peace - but rarely make the time for it. How weird is that? For a

time I used to fantasize about what I would do if I won the lottery.

I would go on and on and on in my mind about all the things I would

do. I REALLY wanted that money. One time I told my husband all

about it and he said " have you ever even bought a lotto ticket? " No.

I haven't. So how could I ever really expect to win all that money

if I never bought a ticket?!!

I guess the same is true for the inner workings of the heart I want:

peace, intuition, comfort, strength, self-acceptance. I must be

still and pay attention - and not run around like a chicken with my

head cut off, ESPECIALLY AT MEAL TIME. If I really want those

virtues, and I do, then I must make time for them. And meals seem

the perfect time to practice " not running around and away. " At least

for this day!

I love everyone's posts - thank you.

I send my best,

p