overdeveloped sense of responsibility for others?

[Guest guest]

Hello All-

Writing again about our foster child, .

I've noticed that she's extremely attuned to other's feelings, and watches my

face like a hawk.

If I ever feel sad or vexed about something, she'll come flying across the room

start rubbing my shoulders and asking if I'm okay.

I keep telling her that A) I'm COMPLETELY FINE and experiencing nothing but

life's little arrows and since she's the kid SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT

ME. Note: I don't actually shout this.

Perhaps it'll sink in some day, but I find it interesting that she considers

herself responsible for my moods and feelings.

I remember feeling the same way about my BPD dad and NPD mom.

Do you all remember doing this? Doing it still?

Also, she came here expecting to do all the housework, help with all the

cooking, carry all the groceries, etc. And I do mean ALL the groceries,

expecting me to just walk along hands-free, la-di-da while she struggled!

Was anyone else expected to do all the work while their BPD mom lounged about?

I think I've finally convinced her what an appropriate amount of work for

someone her age looks like, but I had to spell it out very clearly and take the

cooking spoon, laundry basket, broom and grocery bags right out of her hands.

Letty.