RE: To Leap or Not to Leap

[Guest guest]

Hi, Deb:

I, too, am a relative newbie to this (almost a month in), and

feel the same scared feelings that you do. In line with what the

Intuitive Eating book emphasizes in the beginning, I have committed to giving

up dieting and giving myself permission to eat ALL foods without judgement.

For the first week I think I used it as an excuse to eat whatever I had been either

denying myself or eating with extreme guilt for most of my life. However,

I wasn't eating very mindfully and found myself overeating and questioning

whether I could stay off diets.

The second week I focused on really assessing my hunger and

fullness signals, but still giving myself permission to eat whatever I

wanted. It was really hard, but also kind of a revelation. I had my

favorite pizza one night for dinner. Normally I would not feel satisfied

unless I had at least two slices (usually more). This time, I savored the

pizza and found that my stomach felt satisfied after one slice. My mind

did not feel satisfied, however, but I gave myself permission to have more

later if I felt like it. Giving myself that permission was the revelation

part … it was still difficult not to have another piece, but I waited 20

minutes and the extreme urge subsided, I felt satisfied and didn't want any

more. Part of me feels silly that I felt such a sense of accomplishment

at this, but for me it was really eye-opening. I do think that giving up

an external eating plan (no matter how healthy) and giving myself unconditional

permission to eat whatever I wanted was important for me to focus on what my

body was telling me to eat and getting me to stop focusing on what I couldn't

have.

Since then I have made an effort to assess before I eat what it

is that I am really craving and what would be satisfying. Before IE, I

would automatically assume that my craving would be for something

" bad " because those were the foods that I didn't allow myself (unless

I was " cheating " ). Now that I have given myself permission to

have anything, there have been times when I craved pizza or ice cream, but

there have also been times when I craved fruit, or a piece of perfectly roasted

chicken, or a fresh salad. I certainly don't only crave healthy food (I

had a craving for Pop Tarts the other day:) but I'm starting to feel the first

rumblings from my body of what it wants. I am by no means all the way

there and I still find myself thinking about food and eating a lot. But

I'm trying to focus on getting in touch with what my body is telling me instead

of how many calories I've eaten. I feel encouraged that I am no longer

feeling resentful that I can't eat certain foods, and am gaining some trust

that if I do eat those foods I can trust myself with them.

I'm finding it hard to give up the scale … I still weigh

myself every morning. I guess I am afraid that if I don't, it will get

out of control and I will gain huge amounts. And I still want to lose a

significant amount of weight (60 lbs or so). I gained some the first week

or two when I overeating and wasn't eating mindfully enough, but have lost the

few pounds I gained and stabilized since then. Hopefully weight loss will

come, but the release I feel from the " food prison " I have been in

for most of my life is pretty remarkable.

You are way ahead of me on exercise. I hope to get more in

the habit of that soon, which will hopefully make me feel even better!

Thanks for sharing, and good luck!

From:

IntuitiveEating_Support

[mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ] On Behalf Of Deb King

Sent: Monday, October 11, 2010 12:05 PM

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Subject: To Leap or Not to Leap

This is the newbie logging on. Thanks for all the

great posts, everyone. I have finished the book. My " food

anthropologist " boonie hat is firmly in place and I am excited. I am

very nervous at the same time and disquieted by some of the all or nothing

concepts--like this won't work unless you vow to swear off dieting for

life. I swore off any crazy diet plans many crazy diet plans ago and the

skeptic in me says what if this is just a crazy diet in disguise--or worse just

plain wishful thinking!

I have struggled with my weight since I was a child and lost

in the neighborhood of 100 lbs twice and 70 once. Guess what.

Always gained it back eventually. Four years ago I had a catastrophic

event in my family and after three years of unbelievable stress and exhaustion,

I found myself so tired and out of shape I could barely move, stressed beyond

what I could have ever imagined and having gained 35 pounds back to my highest

weight. I made the commitment to put my health first then regardless of

what happens with weight. I began with gentle yoga and have now worked my

way up to belonging to a group at the athletic club. I do cardio, lift

weights and the program includes an eating plan from the American Diabetic

Association. One reason I read the book was because of that association

for the authors. I have lost the 35 pounds but quickly identified that I

have been pseudo-dieting more than I have been changing my life style and doing

more and more compulsive eating in the last few months.

I feel like I have jumped in the water but am hanging onto

the side for dear life. I will confess that I don't think I could

quit watching my weight. Probably not a concern as I'm not going to quit

my trainer/athletic club group for sure and that includes a weekly

weigh-in. But I am absolutely not willing to gain any weight

back!!! This feels too good! And I don't want to derail what I've

already accomplished. So the whole exploring food thing scare me to

death. I've done some of that the last few days and a little voice, says

you're just justifying eating whatever you want! That pizza and a movie

was really fun! I also am still a little fuzzy on the transition between

convincing yourself you're not dieting and embarking on intuitive eating.

My health and well being are absolutely my top priority and I have no time

frame or weight goal. Just to be as healthy as I can possibly be.

At the same time, losing weight is very important to my future well being.

Thanks, everyone, for your input and support. Deb

[Guest guest]

Hi Debbie,

First of all, thank you for joining us. I am a newbie here too, and I am happy

that I have discovered the book and this support group.

I definitely relate to how you feel towards IE. I have not dieted for a all of

my life, just for a year or so, but it did me enough damage that I am scared of

diets for life. Diets make us suspicious of food, and then about how we feel

about food, and then about ourselves. That's how it was for me at least, and to

think back to pre-dieting days, I didn't even have a weight problem to begin

with! So, somehow I ate mac'n'cheese and hot dogs, drank beer and ate cakes (all

just enough to kill hunger though) and I was ok, and then the dieting started

and gave me bulimia...

As for your doubts, IE is not a diet because it's not about loosing weight.

Please come to peace with this idea if you can. The authors mention many times

that you are only going to loose weight if you are overweight, but if you are at

a normal weight already and trying to fit into size XS, that's not gonna work.

So, it's not a quick fix for weight problems, it's gentle therapy in a form of a

book that is meat to bring peace into your life.

I can't say anything on top of what the authors already said in the book. I can

only tell you from my own experience that IE is about letting go and really

trusting yourself and being patient. I stopped counting calories and eating by

the clock about a week ago, and after the initial anxiety I have found out that

I am naturally not hungry most of the time, and there is *no need* to obsess

about the next snack.

Do trust yourself. We are here to offer support!

Blessings

Nastia

>

> This is the newbie logging on.� Thanks for all the great posts, everyone.�

I

> have finished the book.� My " food anthropologist " boonie hat is firmly in

place

> and I am excited.� I am very nervous at the same time and disquieted by some

of

> the all or nothing concepts--like this won't work unless you vow to swear off

> dieting for life.� I swore off any crazy diet plans many crazy diet plans

ago

> and the skeptic in me says what if this is just a crazy diet in disguise--or

> worse just plain wishful thinking!

>

> I have struggled with my weight since I was a child and lost in the

neighborhood

> of 100 lbs twice and 70 once.� Guess what.� Always gained it back

eventually.�

> Four years ago I had a catastrophic event in my family and after three years

of

> unbelievable stress and exhaustion, I found myself so tired and out of shape I

> could barely move, stressed beyond what I could have ever imagined and having

> gained 35 pounds back to my highest weight.� I made the commitment to put my

> health first then regardless of what happens with weight.� I began with

gentle

> yoga and have now worked my way up to belonging to a group at the athletic

> club.� I do cardio, lift weights and the program includes an eating plan

from

> the American Diabetic Association.� One reason I read the book was because

of

> that association for the authors.� I have lost the 35 pounds but quickly

> identified that I have been pseudo-dieting more than I have been changing my

> life style and doing more and more compulsive eating in the last few

months.�

>

>

> I feel like I have jumped in the water but am hanging onto the side for dear

> life.��I will confess that I don't think I could quit watching my

weight.�

> Probably not a concern as I'm not going to quit my trainer/athletic club group

> for sure and that includes a weekly weigh-in.� But�I am absolutely�not

willing

> to gain any weight back!!!� This feels too good!� And I don't want to

derail

> what I've already accomplished. So the whole exploring food thing scare me to

> death.� I've done some of that the last few days and a little voice, says

you're

> just justifying eating whatever you want!� That pizza and a movie was really

> fun!� I also am still a little fuzzy on the transition between convincing

> yourself you're not dieting and embarking on intuitive eating.� My health

and

> well being are absolutely my top priority and I have no time frame or weight

> goal.� Just to be as healthy as I can possibly be.� At the same time,

losing

> weight is very important to my future well being.

>

> Thanks, everyone, for your input and support.� Deb

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Debbie,

First of all, thank you for joining us. I am a newbie here too, and I am happy

that I have discovered the book and this support group.

I definitely relate to how you feel towards IE. I have not dieted for a all of

my life, just for a year or so, but it did me enough damage that I am scared of

diets for life. Diets make us suspicious of food, and then about how we feel

about food, and then about ourselves. That's how it was for me at least, and to

think back to pre-dieting days, I didn't even have a weight problem to begin

with! So, somehow I ate mac'n'cheese and hot dogs, drank beer and ate cakes (all

just enough to kill hunger though) and I was ok, and then the dieting started

and gave me bulimia...

As for your doubts, IE is not a diet because it's not about loosing weight.

Please come to peace with this idea if you can. The authors mention many times

that you are only going to loose weight if you are overweight, but if you are at

a normal weight already and trying to fit into size XS, that's not gonna work.

So, it's not a quick fix for weight problems, it's gentle therapy in a form of a

book that is meat to bring peace into your life.

I can't say anything on top of what the authors already said in the book. I can

only tell you from my own experience that IE is about letting go and really

trusting yourself and being patient. I stopped counting calories and eating by

the clock about a week ago, and after the initial anxiety I have found out that

I am naturally not hungry most of the time, and there is *no need* to obsess

about the next snack.

Do trust yourself. We are here to offer support!

Blessings

Nastia

>

> This is the newbie logging on.� Thanks for all the great posts, everyone.�

I

> have finished the book.� My " food anthropologist " boonie hat is firmly in

place

> and I am excited.� I am very nervous at the same time and disquieted by some

of

> the all or nothing concepts--like this won't work unless you vow to swear off

> dieting for life.� I swore off any crazy diet plans many crazy diet plans

ago

> and the skeptic in me says what if this is just a crazy diet in disguise--or

> worse just plain wishful thinking!

>

> I have struggled with my weight since I was a child and lost in the

neighborhood

> of 100 lbs twice and 70 once.� Guess what.� Always gained it back

eventually.�

> Four years ago I had a catastrophic event in my family and after three years

of

> unbelievable stress and exhaustion, I found myself so tired and out of shape I

> could barely move, stressed beyond what I could have ever imagined and having

> gained 35 pounds back to my highest weight.� I made the commitment to put my

> health first then regardless of what happens with weight.� I began with

gentle

> yoga and have now worked my way up to belonging to a group at the athletic

> club.� I do cardio, lift weights and the program includes an eating plan

from

> the American Diabetic Association.� One reason I read the book was because

of

> that association for the authors.� I have lost the 35 pounds but quickly

> identified that I have been pseudo-dieting more than I have been changing my

> life style and doing more and more compulsive eating in the last few

months.�

>

>

> I feel like I have jumped in the water but am hanging onto the side for dear

> life.��I will confess that I don't think I could quit watching my

weight.�

> Probably not a concern as I'm not going to quit my trainer/athletic club group

> for sure and that includes a weekly weigh-in.� But�I am absolutely�not

willing

> to gain any weight back!!!� This feels too good!� And I don't want to

derail

> what I've already accomplished. So the whole exploring food thing scare me to

> death.� I've done some of that the last few days and a little voice, says

you're

> just justifying eating whatever you want!� That pizza and a movie was really

> fun!� I also am still a little fuzzy on the transition between convincing

> yourself you're not dieting and embarking on intuitive eating.� My health

and

> well being are absolutely my top priority and I have no time frame or weight

> goal.� Just to be as healthy as I can possibly be.� At the same time,

losing

> weight is very important to my future well being.

>

> Thanks, everyone, for your input and support.� Deb

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Deb,

Welcome! If I were you, I would definitely leap!

I can really relate with the part of your email where you said that you were

committing to putting your health first regardless of your weight. I know how

great it feels to eat nourishing foods that give you energy and to gain the

comfort in your body and vitality that exercise provides. But work towards not

linking the benefits of an active lifestyle and conscious eating with losing

weight. You say that you are absolutely not willing to gain any weight back!!!

But as you said, you have lost weight before on diets (and as you identified

strictly following the eating plan from the American Diabetic Association is

dieting and likely encouraging your overeating) and always gained it back

eventually. I'm not saying this to discourage you from starting IE, but I know

my weight fluctuated quite a bit during my journey (but if it is any comfort,

overall it is trending downward and maintaining my losses - not rapidly downward

like when I was dieting but not shooting back up out of my control either).

I know for me, not weighing has been a struggle (and there have been times when

I have starting weighing again) but overall, I recommend trying to wean yourself

off of the scale. It really takes the focus off health (and for me I know just

seeing a number can trigger discouragement, binges, compulsive overeating, or

dangerous levels of restriction). You could take it in steps. If you currently

weigh yourself at home and also at your athletic club, try reducing the

frequency of your home weigh ins until you are just keeping track at your gym.

Then try to reduce how often you weigh in with your trainer and club. You will

still be able to gauge your health on how you feel, how your clothes fit, or

perhaps your measurements if you feel you need a number. If you want to keep

track of your weight over time, consider asking to be weighed backwards and

having them record the number but not tell you directly. It may be awkward at

first but remember that you are paying them and they are working for you. This

is also true for the doctor's office as well. It is rare that they actually

need to know your weight (certain medication levels but not much else) and if

you don't feel comfortable asking them not to weigh you, try the being weighed

backwards thing (I swear, it is awkward the first time, but it is also

empowering). You said " it feels too good " to gain weight. You don't need a

scale to tell you how you " feel " !

Best of luck!

~