Ahhhhhhhhhh....

[Guest guest]

Ok, after that scream I feel better now. Actually, I feel better because I just

finished emailing my Nada what I don't like how she talks to me. We've had this

huge problem where she over reacted to my disinterest in going on a vacation

with her (I'm 56!) and has been sarcastically brow beating me and finding as

many hurtful things to say to me as she can. She claims that I don't show my

teeth to her when I'm with her. Yes, it's very difficult for me to smile with

her while I'm walking on those eggshells. She doesn't get it. Verbal abuse=NC

and a very unenergetic guest when I do see her. I guess it made me feel better

to say the things I did. I was using my " I statements " , was impeccable with my

words, and very distinctly told her that I don't like her criticisms of me,

judgements, lack of respect, insults, humiliations, sarcasm, assumptions,

" mind-raping " , and hurtful things she says of me. I told her, you want teeth?

Then...and I gave her a list of behaviors that would work. I'm drained, but my

frustration is subsided.

Silly me, I want her to get it. I still can't accept that's she's " damaged " and

is not going to get it. She plagues me with her cancer guilt, expects me to

spend more time with her now that she thinks she's got cancer coming back any

minute. Blames her cancer episodes on me, her ex., etc. and doesn't think I've

done enough to care for her while she's worried about it coming back. Then she

cries and says, " I hope I've never made you feel guilt. I don't want you to ever

feel that way. " Then, she says, another day, " You don't care about me anyway.

You don't ask about my throat. " She thinks her sore throat is cancer. Doctor put

her on antibiotics.

Yes, she told me that my first words were " No " and that I've been difficult all

my life. She, too, says I always wriggled my way out of being held once I could

walk. Duh! If she was like this my entire life, she had to be trouble when I was

a toddler! Guilt...guilt...guilt...I wish she would just leave me alone. She has

no real friends and my sister lives an hour and a half away.

It feels never ending...likeher