Dear friends, I need some advice..

[Guest guest]

I'll try and summarise this time! Here goes...

After two months of attempted failed boundary setting and her eventually telling

me she was divorcing me and was glad to be finally free of me, she messaged me

out of the blue last night.

It wasn't a nice message. Soon after, she knocked on my door. I was shaky and

upset from her message and I didn't answer. A while after she left I went

outside expecting to find a letter. Instead I saw pots thrown around and ripped

out plants strewn across my garden.

My partner called her to say it wasn't on (first time her has got involved) She

told him to F off in an especially nasty tone and told him to prove it. She

denied it and told him to prove it.She sent about 30 sms messages and left a few

messages on my home phone. You can imagine the nature of these- nasty, cutting,

skewed sense of reality, bizarre, unrelated things brought up from the past. In

short, absolutely crazy!

I phoned a mental health service three times across the course of the night.

They told me they would intervene if she was an immediate threat to herself or

others. I didn't know what to say. A close friend who has known me forever and

has always been an impartial observer with the odd attack aimed at her was

alarmed that her behaviour had changed. The pattern was the same- the nasty

phone calls and messages, but she has never expressed her anger towards me with

a violent act.

I eventually decided at 1.00 in the morning when the messages were still

happening that perhaps she did pose an immediate threat. This behaviour was also

new. Usually, she would have stopped by that time and taken herself off to bed.

At 1.30, the house phone called and my mobile. She wasn't happy to be contacted

by a mental health service- " You have no right " " I am being looked after by

someone higher than you " ie. God etc.

I need to do something about it. I have had enough. I have tried everything!

Today I went to the police station about getting a restraining order- prospect

is very confronting- being in a courtroom with her etc. They told me it would be

better to pursue it through a mental health avenue. I went to a local

psychiatrist who informed me it was a legal matter!! It seems the situation has

to be more severe for them to intervene- an attempted suicide attempt or a

direct intention to harm me.

The nature of the borderline deems it very hard for either the legal or the

mental health systems to deal with. As she has periods of " normal " behaviour- I

can just imagine how cool and calm she was on the phone when they called her

last night- there cannot be any intervention from the mental health system as

she more or less needs to be in a permanent state of psychosis.

Similarly, I can't imagine a restraining order working. On the contrary I can

see it triggering her further as she clearly has no sense of other's boundaries

and simply will not leave me alone after many requests.

Does anyone have an experience of getting a restraining order or intervention

from the mental health system?

Does anyone think that this new violent behaviour will be her new benchmark and

that it will escalate from here?

I have a baby to protect. I am scared and nervous and don't know what she will

do next.

I really need to act on this to stop her from contacting me.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Exhausted.

Lynda