Re: Re: I want to try to go NC again

[Guest guest]

My nada found out we were NC when I stopped answering (and returning her calls)

and when all her emails bounced back to her as " undeliverable " because I had her

(and her husband) blocked.

While I was sorely tempted to exorcise some of my own anger by detailing for her

what I was doing and why, I have to admit that I got (and still get) a little

bit of passive agressive pleasure out of knowing that not only am *I* finally in

charge of what drama she puts into my existence, but that I deprived her of any

kind of " story " or incident for her to play victim about. And, I deprived her of

the chance to lash out at me.

Advantage: me!

I think sometimes with these parents of ours, the best way to " tell " them is

simply to BEHAVE the boundary, rather than forewarn them.

Ninera

>

> Subject: Re: I want to try to go NC again

> To: WTOAdultChildren1

> Date: Friday, September 10, 2010, 10:56 PM

> That is a great idea, I like it!

>

> I'm not sure how to TELL her, though...

>

> Casey

>

>

>

> > >

> > > I'm just so tired of my nada. She's emotionally

> draining. Last time I tried to go NC and my dad and brother

> guilted me back - " oh, she's so alone, she has no one else "

> - true, but her own damn fault.

> > >

> > > Last night I picked her up from the airport and

> had to listen to her raging the whole way back. Trying to

> throw herself out of the car, which me and my dad ignored

> (she's overly dramatic) and then complaining that we don't

> care about her because we didn't try to keep her from doing

> it. Then she claimed I said " just get rid of her " when she

> was doing that. lol.

> > >

> > > She also has these wild conspiracy theories about

> me and my dad. Some of it is sexual! she's completely

> disturbed.

> > >

> > > Anyway I could probably complain about her for a

> million pages. I have been having dinner with her once a

> week, but it's never enough for her. Once a week for her

> becomes " an hour every other month " . Every time I call, she

> complains I don't call, every time I visit, she complains I

> don't visit. What's the point?? I'm NEVER going to be what

> she wants, she has some fantasy of a super loving daughter

> who is her best friend - she complains I don't invite her on

> my DATES.

> > >

> > > Ever since I joined this board (4 or 5 years ago)

> and heard how some of you went NC, I've wanted to do it.

> I've tried a few times, and it's so PEACEFUL getting a break

> from her. And hearing how much better off those of you that

> are NC are... I'm jealous. I mean, I want a mother, but she

> is not one.

> > >

> > > I just can't help feeling sorry for her. I can't

> help feeling I'm being a selfish daughter. I know eventually

> she is going to apologize, but her apologies mean nothing to

> me anymore. I even know I can get her apologize and " make

> up " by calling her and apologizing. Even though I'm not

> sorry. even though everything I said to her I mean and is

> true. I'm tired of the " sorry game " . It's so pointless.

> > >

> > > Any tips for going NC for real this time?

> > >

> > > Casey

> > >

> >

>

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------

>

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