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Re: Re: void of feelings

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I was just thinking about this during last week. I made a huge mistake at

work and couldn't stop laughing about it whereas normally I'm scared

sh*tless to be anything less than perfect in a professional setting. There

was another incident that I can't remember right now where I reacted very

differently than those around me which of course made me worry that I'm

still not normal (hah).

In general when it comes to sadness, I think I'm overly (inappropriately)

empathetic and identify too strongly with the plight of the people around me

to the point that I see that everything is sad and terrible and I'm never

going to be able to make it better.

In thinking about it before this thread came up, I decided it must be

because it seemed that I never knew the 'right' way to react. I'd get

reamed up and down for not being serious enough and not understanding how

TERRIBLE nada felt. On the other hand, if I was to serious I'd be laughed

at for not being any fun.

At around 12 years of age, my daily after-school activity became

volunteering at a nursing home instead of sports or hanging out with friends

(which I wasn't allowed to have). When a neighbor became terminally ill,

guess who spend half her days during her senior year of high school watching

him die because hiring a full-time nurse would have been a burden for these

neighbors I had never met before?

So she surrounded me with death and dying on a nearly daily basis AND

required me to constantly emotionally fill the hole inside her. No wonder I

have no gauge of how serious or not serious day-to-day events are, much less

how I feel about what's happening around me.

Thanks for bringing this topic up! It's great to hear others' stories and

thoughts on this issue and know I'm not alone.

On Sat, Sep 11, 2010 at 2:01 PM, Simpson wrote:

>

>

> Yes, I have a very hard time expressing emotion or when I do my external

> behavior is inappropriate to the situation. In times of great

> stress/sadness I tend to laugh. When feeling worthless I tend to project

> anger towards others. It scares me because these are nada traits but my

> therapist point out often that the difference between nada and I is that I

> can see the problem and want to fix it...nada refuses to admit her behavior

> is inappropriate.

>

>

>

>

>

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