I want to try to go NC again

[Guest guest]

I'm just so tired of my nada. She's emotionally draining. Last time I tried to

go NC and my dad and brother guilted me back - " oh, she's so alone, she has no

one else " - true, but her own damn fault.

Last night I picked her up from the airport and had to listen to her raging the

whole way back. Trying to throw herself out of the car, which me and my dad

ignored (she's overly dramatic) and then complaining that we don't care about

her because we didn't try to keep her from doing it. Then she claimed I said

" just get rid of her " when she was doing that. lol.

She also has these wild conspiracy theories about me and my dad. Some of it is

sexual! she's completely disturbed.

Anyway I could probably complain about her for a million pages. I have been

having dinner with her once a week, but it's never enough for her. Once a week

for her becomes " an hour every other month " . Every time I call, she complains I

don't call, every time I visit, she complains I don't visit. What's the point??

I'm NEVER going to be what she wants, she has some fantasy of a super loving

daughter who is her best friend - she complains I don't invite her on my DATES.

Ever since I joined this board (4 or 5 years ago) and heard how some of you went

NC, I've wanted to do it. I've tried a few times, and it's so PEACEFUL getting a

break from her. And hearing how much better off those of you that are NC are...

I'm jealous. I mean, I want a mother, but she is not one.

I just can't help feeling sorry for her. I can't help feeling I'm being a

selfish daughter. I know eventually she is going to apologize, but her apologies

mean nothing to me anymore. I even know I can get her apologize and " make up " by

calling her and apologizing. Even though I'm not sorry. even though everything I

said to her I mean and is true. I'm tired of the " sorry game " . It's so

pointless.

Any tips for going NC for real this time?

Casey

[Guest guest]

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with a mother who is so very out of control,

hysterical, self-destructive, hostile and abusive. She's way beyond anything

I'd be able to deal with. The behaviors you've described would have me in knots

of stress and anxiety too.

If my nada started accusing me of having sexual designs on my dad, trying to

throw herself out of cars, and overdosing on morphine I think I'd be ready to

call a lawyer and see about having her involuntarily committed.

You realize that morphine is a powerful psychoactive drug, right? Its not just

a pain-killer, it causes a person to hallucinate, and its addictive. I know

personally how very psychoactive morphine is. I was given morphine for about 48

hours after having a major operation and I tell you, not only was I in no pain

at all I was seeing talking purple poodles in my room. We had conversations.

The mind is a fascinating and mostly unknown, unexplored continent. (After 48

hours they switched me to a milder and less effective pain killer, and the

talking poodles went away. I missed them.)

Can you get permission to talk to your mother's doctor or doctors and tell them

what's going on? Perhaps they can recommend that your mother should have a

psychiatric evaluation and treatment?

-Annie

>

> She is a Hermit, with waif attributes as well. She is low-functioning and

getting worse. (She used to be high-functioning when I was little.) When the

witch comes though, I find myself trembling like a scared little baby. I hate

how she can give me one look that makes me feel like a trapped little kid again.

That's how it was being stuck in the car with her last night.

>

> I usually make sure to NEVER be " stuck " with her anywhere. But she was coming

back from her dad's funeral, my dad was with her, they needed a ride from the

airport, my brother is in Utah... Anyway, after listening to her rage the whole

way home (she can go on for hours without anyone saying anything at all), my

anxiety just shot right up and I can't get it under control all day now. I've

been useless at work. Which sucks, because it just means I'll have to make up

for it next week. I hate that she can affect me like this.

>

> Further increasing my anxiety is that apparantly she overdosed on morphine the

day before her dad's funeral and spent most of the actual funeral day in the

hospital. (typical if a day is not about her, to redirect everyone's attention

back to her). So now I'm worried she's going to overdose in her house all alone.

>

> I'm just so tired of her. She's so miserable all the time and even when she's

not " witchy " she's just surrounded with drama. Her policy is " if something is

bad, make it worse, and then throw a temper tantrum over how awful everything

is. " I hate drama. I've structured my whole adult life around a " no drama "

policy. I figured I lived through 17 years of it and that was enough for 2 or 3

lifetimes. She is the only drama left. Even cutting her off wouldn't rid me of

all her drama, because I still have my dad staying with me to get away from it,

my brother calling me in tears when she is mean to him, etc. But at least I

wouldn't have to hear from her that I'm involved in a conspiracy with my dad to

get her to kill herself so we can be " together " . (yes she meant it sexually. she

used way more graphic terminology. and then called me disgusting.)

>

>

> Casey

[Guest guest]

Well said. I am going NC AGAIN too, it is the only way to maintain a normal

life and regain healthy self esteem again.

> >

> > I'm just so tired of my nada. She's emotionally draining. Last time I tried

to go NC and my dad and brother guilted me back - " oh, she's so alone, she has

no one else " - true, but her own damn fault.

> >

> > Last night I picked her up from the airport and had to listen to her raging

the whole way back. Trying to throw herself out of the car, which me and my dad

ignored (she's overly dramatic) and then complaining that we don't care about

her because we didn't try to keep her from doing it. Then she claimed I said

" just get rid of her " when she was doing that. lol.

> >

> > She also has these wild conspiracy theories about me and my dad. Some of it

is sexual! she's completely disturbed.

> >

> > Anyway I could probably complain about her for a million pages. I have been

having dinner with her once a week, but it's never enough for her. Once a week

for her becomes " an hour every other month " . Every time I call, she complains I

don't call, every time I visit, she complains I don't visit. What's the point??

I'm NEVER going to be what she wants, she has some fantasy of a super loving

daughter who is her best friend - she complains I don't invite her on my DATES.

> >

> > Ever since I joined this board (4 or 5 years ago) and heard how some of you

went NC, I've wanted to do it. I've tried a few times, and it's so PEACEFUL

getting a break from her. And hearing how much better off those of you that are

NC are... I'm jealous. I mean, I want a mother, but she is not one.

> >

> > I just can't help feeling sorry for her. I can't help feeling I'm being a

selfish daughter. I know eventually she is going to apologize, but her apologies

mean nothing to me anymore. I even know I can get her apologize and " make up " by

calling her and apologizing. Even though I'm not sorry. even though everything I

said to her I mean and is true. I'm tired of the " sorry game " . It's so

pointless.

> >

> > Any tips for going NC for real this time?

> >

> > Casey

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Well said. I am going NC AGAIN too, it is the only way to maintain a normal

life and regain healthy self esteem again.

> >

> > I'm just so tired of my nada. She's emotionally draining. Last time I tried

to go NC and my dad and brother guilted me back - " oh, she's so alone, she has

no one else " - true, but her own damn fault.

> >

> > Last night I picked her up from the airport and had to listen to her raging

the whole way back. Trying to throw herself out of the car, which me and my dad

ignored (she's overly dramatic) and then complaining that we don't care about

her because we didn't try to keep her from doing it. Then she claimed I said

" just get rid of her " when she was doing that. lol.

> >

> > She also has these wild conspiracy theories about me and my dad. Some of it

is sexual! she's completely disturbed.

> >

> > Anyway I could probably complain about her for a million pages. I have been

having dinner with her once a week, but it's never enough for her. Once a week

for her becomes " an hour every other month " . Every time I call, she complains I

don't call, every time I visit, she complains I don't visit. What's the point??

I'm NEVER going to be what she wants, she has some fantasy of a super loving

daughter who is her best friend - she complains I don't invite her on my DATES.

> >

> > Ever since I joined this board (4 or 5 years ago) and heard how some of you

went NC, I've wanted to do it. I've tried a few times, and it's so PEACEFUL

getting a break from her. And hearing how much better off those of you that are

NC are... I'm jealous. I mean, I want a mother, but she is not one.

> >

> > I just can't help feeling sorry for her. I can't help feeling I'm being a

selfish daughter. I know eventually she is going to apologize, but her apologies

mean nothing to me anymore. I even know I can get her apologize and " make up " by

calling her and apologizing. Even though I'm not sorry. even though everything I

said to her I mean and is true. I'm tired of the " sorry game " . It's so

pointless.

> >

> > Any tips for going NC for real this time?

> >

> > Casey

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Well said. I am going NC AGAIN too, it is the only way to maintain a normal

life and regain healthy self esteem again.

> >

> > I'm just so tired of my nada. She's emotionally draining. Last time I tried

to go NC and my dad and brother guilted me back - " oh, she's so alone, she has

no one else " - true, but her own damn fault.

> >

> > Last night I picked her up from the airport and had to listen to her raging

the whole way back. Trying to throw herself out of the car, which me and my dad

ignored (she's overly dramatic) and then complaining that we don't care about

her because we didn't try to keep her from doing it. Then she claimed I said

" just get rid of her " when she was doing that. lol.

> >

> > She also has these wild conspiracy theories about me and my dad. Some of it

is sexual! she's completely disturbed.

> >

> > Anyway I could probably complain about her for a million pages. I have been

having dinner with her once a week, but it's never enough for her. Once a week

for her becomes " an hour every other month " . Every time I call, she complains I

don't call, every time I visit, she complains I don't visit. What's the point??

I'm NEVER going to be what she wants, she has some fantasy of a super loving

daughter who is her best friend - she complains I don't invite her on my DATES.

> >

> > Ever since I joined this board (4 or 5 years ago) and heard how some of you

went NC, I've wanted to do it. I've tried a few times, and it's so PEACEFUL

getting a break from her. And hearing how much better off those of you that are

NC are... I'm jealous. I mean, I want a mother, but she is not one.

> >

> > I just can't help feeling sorry for her. I can't help feeling I'm being a

selfish daughter. I know eventually she is going to apologize, but her apologies

mean nothing to me anymore. I even know I can get her apologize and " make up " by

calling her and apologizing. Even though I'm not sorry. even though everything I

said to her I mean and is true. I'm tired of the " sorry game " . It's so

pointless.

> >

> > Any tips for going NC for real this time?

> >

> > Casey

> >

>