Overcoming Anger and Finding Peace

[Guest guest]

Anger appears when one is confronted with frustration, unhappiness or

hurt feelings, or when plans don't turn out as desired. It also shows

up when coming against opposition or criticism.

Anger never helps anyone. It wastes your energy, and can hurt your

health, spoil your relationships, and cause you to miss

opportunities. Getting angry is acting against your best interests.

Things don't always proceed according to plans and expectations.

People not always act the way you wish them to act. You may not be

always able to be in control of external influences and conditions,

but you can certainly learn to control your attitude and reactions.

There is no sense of allowing circumstances and people to pull your

strings and affect your mind and feelings. You can choose not to let

what people say and do affect your moods. You can maintain an inner

attitude of emotional and mental detachment, and refuse to allow

every minor event play with your feelings and evoke anger.

I often see people getting angry over unimportant and insignificant

matters. Some insignificant remark or action, not getting a

satisfactory reply to a question or just moodiness are enough to set

fire and cause anger, snappy remarks, arguments and even physical

fights. This is absolutely unnecessary. Life can be happier without

this behavior.

Anger is a negative reaction, and if you wish to progress on the path

of self-improvement or spiritual growth you should avoid it as much

as possible.

Learning to calm down the restlessness of the mind and gaining peace

of mind, is one of the best and most effective methods to overcome

anger, and in fact, all negative emotions.

If you are willing to invest the time and energy, you will reap great

rewards. Peace of mind will not only help you overcome anger, but

also help you overcome anxiety and negative thinking, and enable you

to stay calm, tranquil and self possessed in difficult and trying

situations.

Peace of mind requires the development of an attitude of emotional

and mental detachment, which is of vital importance for overcoming

and avoiding anger. It protects you against being too affected by

what people think, say or do, and is therefore highly recommended.

Detachment is not an attitude of indifference and lack of

sensitivity. It is an attitude of common sense and inner strength and

leads to peace of mind.

I would like now to suggest a few simple tips to help you manifest

some inner detachment and peace of mind, so as to be in a better

position to overcome anger.

1. At least once a day, devote several minutes to thinking on how

much your life would be better without anger.

2. When you feel anger arising in you, start breathing deeply and

slowly several times.

3. You may, instead of breathing deeply, or better still, in addition

to it, count slowly from one to ten. This will delay your angry

reaction and weaken it.

4. Drinking some water has a calming effect on the body.

5. Try to be more patient, no matter how difficult it might be.

6. Be more tolerant toward people, even toward people you don't like.

7. Everyone is entitled to his/her opinion. You can disagree with

people, but still maintain tact and diplomacy.

8. Choose to react calmly and peacefully in every situation. Try

again and again, regardless of how many times you lose control and

get angry.

9. Positive thinking makes it easier to disregard remarks and

behavior that otherwise could cause anger.

10. Try to manifest at least some self-control, self-discipline and

more common sense.

11. Don't take everything too seriously. It is not worth it.

12. Find reasons to laugh more often.

Life is a journey without a beginning and without an end. It is made

up of an immense number of experiences, each one shaping the next.

And these experiences are characterized by the emotions you feel

whilst you're going through that experience. If you feel negative

feelings then don't judge them as bad. Nothing is good or bad. It

just is. You are the one who assigns the labels. What some people

might experience as sheer bliss, for others it is just utter hell. If

you love animals and nature and your friend loves motor races, how

would you feel if you were attending a 2-day motor racing event with

your friend? You would probably not be very happy, whilst your friend

would be having a ball. That is how individual our experiences and

their associated feelings are.

We can choose what we want to experience and even more so, we can

choose how we want to feel during that experience. Choosing your

experience is the same as following your truth. Listen to what you

prefer deep inside and follow this preference. And if you follow what

you prefer, then you will feel inner peace because you have chosen

your preference and therefore there is nothing to dislike, i.e. not

that can cause you to feel negative. Whilst you're in an experience

that you've chosen, you can still suddenly feel unhappy. Then again,

listen to your inner voice and check what your preference is in that

moment. When you then take the necessary steps to change your

experience in accordance with your new preference and you change your

feelings at the same time about your experience. There is no reason

for you to feel unhappy ever. It is all in your power to change your

experience in every moment and with that your feelings from negative

to positive.

Your thoughts are very much part of you and who you are. Your

thoughts guide you throughout your life and they are at the very

beginning of what you create. Every step, every action, every

creation, every experience starts with a thought. And that thought

triggers another thought and so on. And when your thoughts - that are

largely influenced by your experiences – are negative then it is very

difficult to choose a positive experience to make the next thought a

positive one.

Thoughts are immensely powerful but they are also hard to control one-

by-one. Your emotions are therefore your best guidance system to

follow because they always reflect the type of thoughts you have. If

you tell yourself over and over again that your life is miserable and

that you're unhappy (as an example of a negative thought), then your

emotions will reflect these thoughts and you will feel miserable.

When you choose to think happy thoughts instead, then you will feel

happy and empowered and you will experience inner peace. Therefore

inner peace is a reflection of the emotions you have and at the root

of this, which thoughts you chose.

It is important to understand that you choose your thoughts and your

emotions. They do not enter you through some mysterious process. No,

you are responsible for your thoughts and emotions and not the outer

circumstances in your life. You experience certain circumstances

because of your emotions and thoughts, not the other way round. The

Universe sends us whatever matches our thoughts and feelings. If we

feel lack, we will experience more lack. If we feel happy, we will

attract more happiness. Once you accept this responsibility and

really fully understand all its implications, then you can start to

choose the thoughts that are in alignment with who you want to be.

Imagine some of the world's top class athletes. They train to think

success and winning. Part of their success is due to physical

training, no doubt about that! But equally important is training the

mind to see themselves winning. Do you think they never have moment

of doubt? Of course they do but they have learned how to refocus

their thoughts in a positive way. And just like athletes manage to

break world records through physical and mental training, so can you

refocus your thoughts and emotions on who you want to be in every

moment of your life.

And the final step to be who you want to be is to follow through on

your actions. Once you've ascertained what your truth is, you need to

follow through with your actions. For example, if your preference is

to go to the cinema, or start writing a book, or spend an evening

with a dear friend, you need to take the appropriate action.

Otherwise you're creating an image in your subconscious of not being

true to yourself. It is similar to promising a friend to do them a

favor, e.g. invite them for dinner, and never actually following

through on that. After some time the friend won't believe in the

invitation any longer. It's the same with your subconscious. If you

only follow through on the surface by acknowledging your preference

but never living it, never following through on it, then some part of

you will feel cheated and you stop believing in yourself. And that is

very damaging indeed to achieving the life you've dreamt of. You

can't tap into the abundant potential of this Universe and at the

same time send yourself the message that you don't believe in

yourself. It's as if you're trying to drive a car with the handbrake

on. It won't work!

So when you become aware of your thoughts and feelings and when you

ascertain what your truth is in every moment and when you then follow

through with you actions, then you have a recipe for inner peace and

happiness. Monitor your emotions and your thoughts and guide them

towards peace and happiness success, love – whatever it is you desire

in your heart.

Remember that this is a continuing process there will be many

occasions during which you will feel challenged. Just focus on what

is in the moment and don't worry about what will be tomorrow or next

year. Stay positive and stay in the moment at all times. Trust from

the bottom of your heart that this is the way to achieve happiness

and inner peace at all times. And trust that this is the only way to

truly create the life you want. You need to understand on every level

that thoughts creating negative emotions create negativeness in your

life. Positive thoughts create positive emotions, which creates

anything you've dreamt of. There are no limits in this Universe. You

can achieve anything you want. Everybody can, look at the world's

greatest inventors and their creations, e.g. Henry Ford,

Edison. All these people believed in themselves and continued to

think positive through setbacks they experienced. They are no

different from you. Everyone has the same creative potential because

we all come from the same Source, the same Universe. God doesn't give

some people 10% potential and others 90%. Everyone has the same

potential to create the life they seek. It is up to you to decide

which path you choose and what you want to create in your life. It

doesn't have to be the great next big invention. It can be having a

family, a job you love, a web site, helping others, travelling the

world, whatever your heart desires. Just focus on your truth and

ignore those niggling doubtful thoughts. Instead change your thoughts

to powerful positive ones that allow you to tap into this vast

universal source of creation.