Re: I'm comfused and need some logic

[Guest guest]

Stefanie, sexism is massive in IT. Massive. The question is can you make peace

with it and still enjoy your work? If you can't, you are better off switching

fields because over time the stress can really wear on you. At the same time

it's worth a fight because some of the best jobs are in IT and in these economic

times that is valuable. Yet medical is good too. Your perceptions and

feelings are valid - honor them whether you stay or go.

Computers are the new cars. Back in olden times, a macho man knew all about

cars and tools. The new macho man knows all about technology and it is hard for

them to accept a woman knows more than them. A lot of it occurs subconsciously

in them too so most are not deliberate. But when a guy's manhood is at stake

watch out!

Casey, good on you for sticking with it and doing so well....I like the idea of

your neutral name helping out. Maybe I should go by my first two initials on

resumes? Loved you setting the guy straight about the coffee!

[Guest guest]

Haha, that sounds like it'd be a fun place to work!

Good luck with your interview... be confident!

Casey

> > >

> > > I was just on the phone with my friend she called me to tell me she

> > > got locked out of her computer and if I had changed it when I fixed it

> > > last.(I have been in IT for over 13 year)...In the back ground her

> > > husband is saying " don't worry about it I'll fix it later " ..Over and

> > > over again.every time this guy asks me an IT related question I answer

> > > him and he argues with me..He is not in the it field..far far from it.

> > > And he doesn't ease up until he's right...usually I just stop arguing.

> > >

> > > This is a huge trigger for me..It pisses me off and I don't know if

> > > it's a really thing I sense or if it's just my BPD upbringing that I'm

> > > " just a Girl " and that's a Man thing..I get so frustrated in my field

> > > when people automatically assume a guy would know more. I work

> > > probably twice as hard as any man because I feel I have to prove

> > > myself . Usually it goes like this...they call ask for the guy to

> > > call them or visit them..If he is not around and I go and I fix there

> > > problem too (imagine that!) then people are ok and usually very

> > > willing to have me help them. My coworkers are great and they teat me

> > > normal. But the thing that pisses me off is that at first people don't

> > > think I know much....I'm not very Geeky I don't talk in acronyms and I

> > > don't fit the stereo type. Once the CEO came in the office and asked

> > > me where are the IT guys I said they were busy.and If I could help

> > > him with anything ..and he sat down and then said how about

> > > coffee...And I smiled and said...thank you I like cream and suger...he

> > > got me coffee. Then apologies because he thought I was a

> > > sectary...This man and I formed a very good professional relationship

> > > after and we laugh about that first day. It just confirms for me that

> > > there is a problem. I just like helping people and solving problems.

> > > But Lately I wonder if I really like it any more.

> > >

> > > I was laid-off 2 years ago this October. I worked a 6 month contract

> > > job that ended in May so I'm back job hunting..and I'm really thinking

> > > of just chaging fields like to Nursing..something good and female-ish

> > > and I liked that too..I love medical anything. I believe employers

> > > are picking men over me..I know they are " not suppose " to But I

> > > believe that maybe if two of us are qualified and have the same

> > > experience they will pick a man over me.

> > >

> > > So what do you think..am I being Logical or am experiencing Fleas?.

> > > Are my thoughts valid?

> > > Some times I don't know whats real or what Nada telling me how no good I

> > am

> > >

> > > Could someone honestly set me straigh?

> > >

> > > Stefanie

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Stefanie, the pussycat dolls geeksquad, lol, it would be a revolution! Good

luck on your interview - remember you must be *really* good at what you do to

even be doing it given how many barriers there are. Give yourself full credit

and let that shine through!

And , excellent point about the condescension. It isn't just male IT

workers to female, it's also to the customers they serve particularly women. I

can't count how many times I've heard from a woman how much she hates buying a

computer because of how the store salesman treat her! Even salesmen feel they

have the right to the macho man IT persona.

Thinking back about KO issues...it is a hard legacy I struggle with too that if

someone treats me badly I always have this doubt - is it me? did I do something

wrong? what must I change so they will treat me better? This type of thinking

has been pretty harmful to me when dealing with people who are actually acting

nasty - like in a sexist workplace. Sometimes the best thing is to fight back

or get out. But at least for me, my KO conditioning is stay, put up with it,

find a way to accommodate. The cost of that strategy is high. Thanks for the

great life lessons nada.

>

> Thank you very much for validating what I feel. Sometimes I just don't know

> what is real and what is my own insecurities and old programing. I'm not

> sue what I want to do..Part of me says you invested so much time and effort

> and you are good at what you do so why stop doining it just beouse you have

> boobes. Then an other part of me things..It's such ano win siuation..I'm

> not a guru looking for the latest gadjet and have to know how it works and

> what it can do. I'd rather build networks and make them secure..Plus help

> everyday people understand computers.

>

> Which leads me to what you said . I often envision a commersial

> (simular to geek squad) for an all Female IT company. With beautiful smart

> woman drivng sportcars. Showing up to solve your problems. Can you image

> that..all looking like the pussycat dolls LOL...we could charge 2 times the

> amout..Heck I think people (mostly men) would be breaking there systems

> daily LOL.

>

> No I'm not serious....though sex sells I would stick to what I'm really

> trying to potray. We work just as hard and we can do what you guys can do.

> As a matter of fact the momens brain works diffrently then a man..in some

> cases it may be benifical to the problem you are trying to diagnose.

>

> So what do you think and Casey? Should we open up an all girl IT

> company and we can change the perception of women in the IT world:)

>

> Bye the way I have an interview Thursday with the distric court in my state

> for an IT job..wish me luck!

>

> Stefanie

>

>

[Guest guest]

Stefanie, the pussycat dolls geeksquad, lol, it would be a revolution! Good

luck on your interview - remember you must be *really* good at what you do to

even be doing it given how many barriers there are. Give yourself full credit

and let that shine through!

And , excellent point about the condescension. It isn't just male IT

workers to female, it's also to the customers they serve particularly women. I

can't count how many times I've heard from a woman how much she hates buying a

computer because of how the store salesman treat her! Even salesmen feel they

have the right to the macho man IT persona.

Thinking back about KO issues...it is a hard legacy I struggle with too that if

someone treats me badly I always have this doubt - is it me? did I do something

wrong? what must I change so they will treat me better? This type of thinking

has been pretty harmful to me when dealing with people who are actually acting

nasty - like in a sexist workplace. Sometimes the best thing is to fight back

or get out. But at least for me, my KO conditioning is stay, put up with it,

find a way to accommodate. The cost of that strategy is high. Thanks for the

great life lessons nada.

>

> Thank you very much for validating what I feel. Sometimes I just don't know

> what is real and what is my own insecurities and old programing. I'm not

> sue what I want to do..Part of me says you invested so much time and effort

> and you are good at what you do so why stop doining it just beouse you have

> boobes. Then an other part of me things..It's such ano win siuation..I'm

> not a guru looking for the latest gadjet and have to know how it works and

> what it can do. I'd rather build networks and make them secure..Plus help

> everyday people understand computers.

>

> Which leads me to what you said . I often envision a commersial

> (simular to geek squad) for an all Female IT company. With beautiful smart

> woman drivng sportcars. Showing up to solve your problems. Can you image

> that..all looking like the pussycat dolls LOL...we could charge 2 times the

> amout..Heck I think people (mostly men) would be breaking there systems

> daily LOL.

>

> No I'm not serious....though sex sells I would stick to what I'm really

> trying to potray. We work just as hard and we can do what you guys can do.

> As a matter of fact the momens brain works diffrently then a man..in some

> cases it may be benifical to the problem you are trying to diagnose.

>

> So what do you think and Casey? Should we open up an all girl IT

> company and we can change the perception of women in the IT world:)

>

> Bye the way I have an interview Thursday with the distric court in my state

> for an IT job..wish me luck!

>

> Stefanie

>

>