my poem

[Guest guest]

It's a rough draft. I'm sure many of you can relate to this.

Deanna

i should have tried harder

i should have tried harder

to be a good daughter

to not make her angry

to swallow her rage

to look in her eyes

as her fingers dug in me

face full of disgust

i should have tried harder

i should have tried harder

to love my mother, no matter

that her gaze was not tender

that her touch made me cringe

i should have tried harder

i should have stayed longer

when she needed an ear

as she bemoaned my brother

my father

my aunt

the air glutted with rage

i should have stayed longer

i should have stayed longer

when she demanded an hour

a day on the phone

when she laughed at my problems

yet wailed we weren't close

i should have stayed longer

i should have been stronger

than to hang up on her

and never call back

should have crawled inside deeper

and keep me intact

i should have been stronger

i should have healed faster

for $110 an hour

my father's hand trembles

he can't remember my name

i should have healed faster

i should have tried harder

to be a good daughter

to be what she wanted,

not what she sowed

i tried to be stronger but

i should have tried harder