Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 I agree with everyone else. She is making desperate attempts to get you to call her and she thinks by drumming up a serious illness, you'll cave. My mother did it all the time, but often followed it with how no one gave a s* & ^ about her and how she would just die and no one would care. I swear, every time I hear someone else's story, I realize how alike all these mothers with BPD truly are. Re: Flying monkeys it sounds like she has a 'staff infection'. sorry for the bad joke. i wouldn't blame you for telling her 'staff' to lay off of you, maybe you can gently suggest something like codependents anonymous to them...that usually gets people to back away slowly...my mischevious side thinks maybe you can tell them you just became a Moonie and you should all meet and pray for her and to share your new faith with them, or maybe you could get together and share some prayer and possibly sell them some Amway as it's your latest venture or something. I do think they are being infected by her drama and are playing 'run and tell' someone. > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead into my palm. > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has called, I just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want contact. > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. He just got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously been in contact with him. > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text messaged to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and don't want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was breast cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone because the humidity was making the staph worse. > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any sense in it don't worry there isn't. > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph infection there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to speak to her. > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered (which is rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's sister. She too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says she talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped her due to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada has apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past month, but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, along with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to Colorado to see a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping so this is not a surprise. > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish to be involved. > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle and talk to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text back. > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and " she hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response was she needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I turned my phone off. > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to rush in and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to have her committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like this is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations it sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > Riah > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 I agree with everyone else. She is making desperate attempts to get you to call her and she thinks by drumming up a serious illness, you'll cave. My mother did it all the time, but often followed it with how no one gave a s* & ^ about her and how she would just die and no one would care. I swear, every time I hear someone else's story, I realize how alike all these mothers with BPD truly are. Re: Flying monkeys it sounds like she has a 'staff infection'. sorry for the bad joke. i wouldn't blame you for telling her 'staff' to lay off of you, maybe you can gently suggest something like codependents anonymous to them...that usually gets people to back away slowly...my mischevious side thinks maybe you can tell them you just became a Moonie and you should all meet and pray for her and to share your new faith with them, or maybe you could get together and share some prayer and possibly sell them some Amway as it's your latest venture or something. I do think they are being infected by her drama and are playing 'run and tell' someone. > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead into my palm. > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has called, I just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want contact. > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. He just got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously been in contact with him. > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text messaged to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and don't want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was breast cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone because the humidity was making the staph worse. > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any sense in it don't worry there isn't. > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph infection there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to speak to her. > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered (which is rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's sister. She too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says she talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped her due to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada has apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past month, but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, along with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to Colorado to see a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping so this is not a surprise. > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish to be involved. > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle and talk to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text back. > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and " she hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response was she needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I turned my phone off. > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to rush in and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to have her committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like this is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations it sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > Riah > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 I also agree--don't cave in because she's likely trumping a mild illness into a huge life-threatening thing. Stay strong and stay NC--you'll feel all the better for it. Holly > > > > I agree with everyone else. She is making desperate attempts to get you to > call her and she thinks by drumming up a serious illness, you'll cave. My > mother did it all the time, but often followed it with how no one gave a > s* & ^ about her and how she would just die and no one would care. > > I swear, every time I hear someone else's story, I realize how alike all > these mothers with BPD truly are. > > Re: Flying monkeys > > it sounds like she has a 'staff infection'. sorry for the bad joke. i > wouldn't blame you for telling her 'staff' to lay off of you, maybe you can > gently suggest something like codependents anonymous to them...that usually > gets people to back away slowly...my mischevious side thinks maybe you can > tell them you just became a Moonie and you should all meet and pray for her > and to share your new faith with them, or maybe you could get together and > share some prayer and possibly sell them some Amway as it's your latest > venture or something. I do think they are being infected by her drama and > are playing 'run and tell' someone. > > > > > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead into my > palm. > > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has called, I > just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want contact. > > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. He just > got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously been in > contact with him. > > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text messaged > to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and don't > want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was breast > cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone because > the humidity was making the staph worse. > > > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any sense in it > don't worry there isn't. > > > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph infection > there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to speak to > her. > > > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered (which is > rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's sister. She > too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and > remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says she > talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped her due > to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada has > apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past month, > but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, along > with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to Colorado to see > a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping so this > is not a surprise. > > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish to be > involved. > > > > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle and talk > to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text back. > > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and " she > hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response was she > needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I turned my > phone off. > > > > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to rush in > and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to have her > committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like this > is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations it > sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > > > Riah > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 I also agree--don't cave in because she's likely trumping a mild illness into a huge life-threatening thing. Stay strong and stay NC--you'll feel all the better for it. Holly > > > > I agree with everyone else. She is making desperate attempts to get you to > call her and she thinks by drumming up a serious illness, you'll cave. My > mother did it all the time, but often followed it with how no one gave a > s* & ^ about her and how she would just die and no one would care. > > I swear, every time I hear someone else's story, I realize how alike all > these mothers with BPD truly are. > > Re: Flying monkeys > > it sounds like she has a 'staff infection'. sorry for the bad joke. i > wouldn't blame you for telling her 'staff' to lay off of you, maybe you can > gently suggest something like codependents anonymous to them...that usually > gets people to back away slowly...my mischevious side thinks maybe you can > tell them you just became a Moonie and you should all meet and pray for her > and to share your new faith with them, or maybe you could get together and > share some prayer and possibly sell them some Amway as it's your latest > venture or something. I do think they are being infected by her drama and > are playing 'run and tell' someone. > > > > > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead into my > palm. > > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has called, I > just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want contact. > > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. He just > got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously been in > contact with him. > > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text messaged > to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and don't > want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was breast > cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone because > the humidity was making the staph worse. > > > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any sense in it > don't worry there isn't. > > > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph infection > there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to speak to > her. > > > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered (which is > rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's sister. She > too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and > remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says she > talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped her due > to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada has > apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past month, > but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, along > with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to Colorado to see > a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping so this > is not a surprise. > > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish to be > involved. > > > > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle and talk > to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text back. > > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and " she > hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response was she > needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I turned my > phone off. > > > > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to rush in > and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to have her > committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like this > is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations it > sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > > > Riah > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 I also agree--don't cave in because she's likely trumping a mild illness into a huge life-threatening thing. Stay strong and stay NC--you'll feel all the better for it. Holly > > > > I agree with everyone else. She is making desperate attempts to get you to > call her and she thinks by drumming up a serious illness, you'll cave. My > mother did it all the time, but often followed it with how no one gave a > s* & ^ about her and how she would just die and no one would care. > > I swear, every time I hear someone else's story, I realize how alike all > these mothers with BPD truly are. > > Re: Flying monkeys > > it sounds like she has a 'staff infection'. sorry for the bad joke. i > wouldn't blame you for telling her 'staff' to lay off of you, maybe you can > gently suggest something like codependents anonymous to them...that usually > gets people to back away slowly...my mischevious side thinks maybe you can > tell them you just became a Moonie and you should all meet and pray for her > and to share your new faith with them, or maybe you could get together and > share some prayer and possibly sell them some Amway as it's your latest > venture or something. I do think they are being infected by her drama and > are playing 'run and tell' someone. > > > > > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead into my > palm. > > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has called, I > just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want contact. > > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. He just > got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously been in > contact with him. > > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text messaged > to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and don't > want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was breast > cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone because > the humidity was making the staph worse. > > > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any sense in it > don't worry there isn't. > > > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph infection > there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to speak to > her. > > > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered (which is > rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's sister. She > too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and > remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says she > talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped her due > to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada has > apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past month, > but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, along > with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to Colorado to see > a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping so this > is not a surprise. > > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish to be > involved. > > > > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle and talk > to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text back. > > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and " she > hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response was she > needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I turned my > phone off. > > > > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to rush in > and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to have her > committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like this > is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations it > sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > > > Riah > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 Wow, do these BPDs all read the same handbook or what? Is it like becoming an Eagle Scout? You just do your " project' and collect your manipulation badges, and you are in. Yeah, I love the part about " call a doctor. Am I a doctor? No, I'm not a doctor. " Total hoover manuver. If it were me, I'd let bro and aunt know not to do that again or I wouldn't be taking their calls either. The one thing that bothers me though is that you caved to your brother's repeated texts. Loved the part when you turned the phone off. Yeah, bye bye phone! On Thu, Sep 9, 2010 at 4:48 AM, Holly Byers wrote: > I also agree--don't cave in because she's likely trumping a mild illness > into a huge life-threatening thing. Stay strong and stay NC--you'll feel > all > the better for it. > > Holly > > > > > > > > > > > I agree with everyone else. She is making desperate attempts to get you > to > > call her and she thinks by drumming up a serious illness, you'll cave. My > > mother did it all the time, but often followed it with how no one gave a > > s* & ^ about her and how she would just die and no one would care. > > > > I swear, every time I hear someone else's story, I realize how alike all > > these mothers with BPD truly are. > > > > Re: Flying monkeys > > > > it sounds like she has a 'staff infection'. sorry for the bad joke. i > > wouldn't blame you for telling her 'staff' to lay off of you, maybe you > can > > gently suggest something like codependents anonymous to them...that > usually > > gets people to back away slowly...my mischevious side thinks maybe you > can > > tell them you just became a Moonie and you should all meet and pray for > her > > and to share your new faith with them, or maybe you could get together > and > > share some prayer and possibly sell them some Amway as it's your latest > > venture or something. I do think they are being infected by her drama and > > are playing 'run and tell' someone. > > > > > > > > > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead into my > > palm. > > > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has called, > I > > just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want contact. > > > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. He > just > > got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously been in > > contact with him. > > > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text > messaged > > to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > > > > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and don't > > want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was > breast > > cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone > because > > the humidity was making the staph worse. > > > > > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any sense in > it > > don't worry there isn't. > > > > > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > > > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > > > > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph infection > > there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to speak > to > > her. > > > > > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered (which > is > > rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's sister. She > > too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and > > remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says she > > talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped her > due > > to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada has > > apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past month, > > but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, > along > > with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to Colorado to > see > > a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping so > this > > is not a surprise. > > > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish to be > > involved. > > > > > > > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle and talk > > to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > > > > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text back. > > > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and " she > > hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response was she > > needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I turned my > > phone off. > > > > > > > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to rush > in > > and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to have > her > > committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like > this > > is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > > > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations it > > sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > > > > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > > > > > Riah > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 Wow, do these BPDs all read the same handbook or what? Is it like becoming an Eagle Scout? You just do your " project' and collect your manipulation badges, and you are in. Yeah, I love the part about " call a doctor. Am I a doctor? No, I'm not a doctor. " Total hoover manuver. If it were me, I'd let bro and aunt know not to do that again or I wouldn't be taking their calls either. The one thing that bothers me though is that you caved to your brother's repeated texts. Loved the part when you turned the phone off. Yeah, bye bye phone! On Thu, Sep 9, 2010 at 4:48 AM, Holly Byers wrote: > I also agree--don't cave in because she's likely trumping a mild illness > into a huge life-threatening thing. Stay strong and stay NC--you'll feel > all > the better for it. > > Holly > > > > > > > > > > > I agree with everyone else. She is making desperate attempts to get you > to > > call her and she thinks by drumming up a serious illness, you'll cave. My > > mother did it all the time, but often followed it with how no one gave a > > s* & ^ about her and how she would just die and no one would care. > > > > I swear, every time I hear someone else's story, I realize how alike all > > these mothers with BPD truly are. > > > > Re: Flying monkeys > > > > it sounds like she has a 'staff infection'. sorry for the bad joke. i > > wouldn't blame you for telling her 'staff' to lay off of you, maybe you > can > > gently suggest something like codependents anonymous to them...that > usually > > gets people to back away slowly...my mischevious side thinks maybe you > can > > tell them you just became a Moonie and you should all meet and pray for > her > > and to share your new faith with them, or maybe you could get together > and > > share some prayer and possibly sell them some Amway as it's your latest > > venture or something. I do think they are being infected by her drama and > > are playing 'run and tell' someone. > > > > > > > > > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead into my > > palm. > > > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has called, > I > > just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want contact. > > > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. He > just > > got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously been in > > contact with him. > > > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text > messaged > > to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > > > > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and don't > > want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was > breast > > cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone > because > > the humidity was making the staph worse. > > > > > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any sense in > it > > don't worry there isn't. > > > > > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > > > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > > > > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph infection > > there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to speak > to > > her. > > > > > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered (which > is > > rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's sister. She > > too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and > > remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says she > > talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped her > due > > to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada has > > apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past month, > > but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, > along > > with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to Colorado to > see > > a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping so > this > > is not a surprise. > > > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish to be > > involved. > > > > > > > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle and talk > > to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > > > > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text back. > > > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and " she > > hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response was she > > needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I turned my > > phone off. > > > > > > > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to rush > in > > and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to have > her > > committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like > this > > is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > > > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations it > > sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > > > > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > > > > > Riah > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 Wow, do these BPDs all read the same handbook or what? Is it like becoming an Eagle Scout? You just do your " project' and collect your manipulation badges, and you are in. Yeah, I love the part about " call a doctor. Am I a doctor? No, I'm not a doctor. " Total hoover manuver. If it were me, I'd let bro and aunt know not to do that again or I wouldn't be taking their calls either. The one thing that bothers me though is that you caved to your brother's repeated texts. Loved the part when you turned the phone off. Yeah, bye bye phone! On Thu, Sep 9, 2010 at 4:48 AM, Holly Byers wrote: > I also agree--don't cave in because she's likely trumping a mild illness > into a huge life-threatening thing. Stay strong and stay NC--you'll feel > all > the better for it. > > Holly > > > > > > > > > > > I agree with everyone else. She is making desperate attempts to get you > to > > call her and she thinks by drumming up a serious illness, you'll cave. My > > mother did it all the time, but often followed it with how no one gave a > > s* & ^ about her and how she would just die and no one would care. > > > > I swear, every time I hear someone else's story, I realize how alike all > > these mothers with BPD truly are. > > > > Re: Flying monkeys > > > > it sounds like she has a 'staff infection'. sorry for the bad joke. i > > wouldn't blame you for telling her 'staff' to lay off of you, maybe you > can > > gently suggest something like codependents anonymous to them...that > usually > > gets people to back away slowly...my mischevious side thinks maybe you > can > > tell them you just became a Moonie and you should all meet and pray for > her > > and to share your new faith with them, or maybe you could get together > and > > share some prayer and possibly sell them some Amway as it's your latest > > venture or something. I do think they are being infected by her drama and > > are playing 'run and tell' someone. > > > > > > > > > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead into my > > palm. > > > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has called, > I > > just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want contact. > > > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. He > just > > got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously been in > > contact with him. > > > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text > messaged > > to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > > > > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and don't > > want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was > breast > > cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone > because > > the humidity was making the staph worse. > > > > > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any sense in > it > > don't worry there isn't. > > > > > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > > > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > > > > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph infection > > there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to speak > to > > her. > > > > > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered (which > is > > rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's sister. She > > too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and > > remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says she > > talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped her > due > > to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada has > > apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past month, > > but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, > along > > with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to Colorado to > see > > a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping so > this > > is not a surprise. > > > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish to be > > involved. > > > > > > > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle and talk > > to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > > > > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text back. > > > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and " she > > hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response was she > > needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I turned my > > phone off. > > > > > > > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to rush > in > > and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to have > her > > committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like > this > > is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > > > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations it > > sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > > > > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > > > > > Riah > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 Riah, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that most of us who are NC have been (or currently ARE) where you're at. While we all have to decide what " NC " means for ourselves, I know that for me what worked was to simply stop my relatives from discussing ANYTHING about nada with me. Well, sort of...if they want to bring up ancient crazy, that's fine. But I'm not discussing current nada events. It was hard. I went NC the day after Christmas 2007. Nada had been in the hospital since early November. She had gone in with undiagnosable symptoms (that ended up being pneumonia caused by a bacteria that rarely causes pneumonia). Three days after entering the hospital for that she " slipped and fell " , breaking her back and her wrist. So she had to be flat on her back for the breakage, but needed to be upright for her lungs...it was a disaster. At one point she was in ICU on a ventilator, comatose, and we were being asked what her final directives were. Anyway, they finally figured out the cause of her pneumonia so they could treat it, and she moved to a nursing facility for her back to heal. Without going in to the drama that caused me to go NC once and for all, the situation was that she was still pretty ill and in the nursing facility when I made that decision. Which, of course, just her being ill was cause for all sorts of drama. Lots of family members were contacting me about that...I even got an odd phone call from the facility a few weeks later from someone claiming to be a social worker. She said that I was the first emergency contact listed (which I'm sure was bs) and that nada was going to be coming home soon and she (the social worker) wanted to talk to me about how I felt about that and to make sure the home was prepared. I didn't respond to any of that, I just said " I'm not involved in this, you need to talk to her husband since he is the one responsible for her " I had to say it several times and then finally had to hang up on her. I'm pretty sure it was probably one of nada's friends and not an actual social worker. But since then, when friends or family call to ask me about her, I've had to draw explicit and clear boundaries. " How is your mother? " " You can ask her...here's her phone number. " " Have you talked to her? " " You know, that's not open for discussion " or I've had to cut them off when they start talking about her. I'm sure sometimes I was less than gracious or polite, but eventually they all get the hint and it stops happening. They either realize that I really do mean it when I say " Our relationship is about you and me, not about me and my mother or me, you, and my mother " or they decide I'm the horrific person she tells them about and they stop talking to me. Either way, the drama ends. Ninera > > Subject: Flying monkeys > To: WTOAdultChildren1 > Date: Thursday, September 9, 2010, 2:52 AM > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, > or just smack my forehead into my palm. > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She > has called, I just don't answer. I haven't specifically told > her I don't want contact. > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the > favorite. He just got out of prison for car theft 2 months > ago. I have cautiously been in contact with him. > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being > text messaged to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever > again. > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I > haven't and don't want to. He tells me she has a staph > infection that she thought was breast cancer and has moved > from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone because the > humidity was making the staph worse. > > Â Â Â If you just had to re-read that to try > to see if there is any sense in it don't worry there isn't. > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her > brain. > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a > staph infection there isn't anything I can do about it and I > still do not wish to speak to her. > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I > answered (which is rare because those are often Nada) and it > was my Aunt, Nada's sister. She too ask if I've been in > touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and remind her > that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says > she talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's > boyfriend dumped her due to her not getting a biopsy on the > suspected breast cancer. Nada has apparently told her she > has " been in a different universe the past month, but it's > ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, > along with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has > gone to Colorado to see a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada > is infamous for her bed-jumping so this is not a surprise. > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not > wish to be involved. > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will > buckle and talk to Nada. His lack of confidence is > completely irritating. > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I > text back. > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork > and " she hasn't told us because she didn't want us to > worry. " My response was she needs to see a doctor. He wanted > me to call so we can talk. I turned my phone off. > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old > responsibility to rush in and get her medical care. Part of > me wonders if this is enough to have her committed. (I know > it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like this is a > test to check my resolve on going NC. > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in > conversations it sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are > welcome. > > Riah > > > > ------------------------------------ > > **This group is based on principles in Randi Kreger's new > book The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality > Disorder: New Tips and Tools to Stop Walking on Eggshells, > available at www.BPDCentral.com.** Problems? Write @.... > DO NOT RESPOND ON THE LIST. > > To unsub from this list, send a blank email to WTOAdultChildren1-unsubscribe . > > > Recommended: " Toxic Parents, " " Surviving a Borderline > Parent, " and " Understanding the Borderline Mother " (hard to > find) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 Riah, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that most of us who are NC have been (or currently ARE) where you're at. While we all have to decide what " NC " means for ourselves, I know that for me what worked was to simply stop my relatives from discussing ANYTHING about nada with me. Well, sort of...if they want to bring up ancient crazy, that's fine. But I'm not discussing current nada events. It was hard. I went NC the day after Christmas 2007. Nada had been in the hospital since early November. She had gone in with undiagnosable symptoms (that ended up being pneumonia caused by a bacteria that rarely causes pneumonia). Three days after entering the hospital for that she " slipped and fell " , breaking her back and her wrist. So she had to be flat on her back for the breakage, but needed to be upright for her lungs...it was a disaster. At one point she was in ICU on a ventilator, comatose, and we were being asked what her final directives were. Anyway, they finally figured out the cause of her pneumonia so they could treat it, and she moved to a nursing facility for her back to heal. Without going in to the drama that caused me to go NC once and for all, the situation was that she was still pretty ill and in the nursing facility when I made that decision. Which, of course, just her being ill was cause for all sorts of drama. Lots of family members were contacting me about that...I even got an odd phone call from the facility a few weeks later from someone claiming to be a social worker. She said that I was the first emergency contact listed (which I'm sure was bs) and that nada was going to be coming home soon and she (the social worker) wanted to talk to me about how I felt about that and to make sure the home was prepared. I didn't respond to any of that, I just said " I'm not involved in this, you need to talk to her husband since he is the one responsible for her " I had to say it several times and then finally had to hang up on her. I'm pretty sure it was probably one of nada's friends and not an actual social worker. But since then, when friends or family call to ask me about her, I've had to draw explicit and clear boundaries. " How is your mother? " " You can ask her...here's her phone number. " " Have you talked to her? " " You know, that's not open for discussion " or I've had to cut them off when they start talking about her. I'm sure sometimes I was less than gracious or polite, but eventually they all get the hint and it stops happening. They either realize that I really do mean it when I say " Our relationship is about you and me, not about me and my mother or me, you, and my mother " or they decide I'm the horrific person she tells them about and they stop talking to me. Either way, the drama ends. Ninera > > Subject: Flying monkeys > To: WTOAdultChildren1 > Date: Thursday, September 9, 2010, 2:52 AM > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, > or just smack my forehead into my palm. > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She > has called, I just don't answer. I haven't specifically told > her I don't want contact. > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the > favorite. He just got out of prison for car theft 2 months > ago. I have cautiously been in contact with him. > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being > text messaged to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever > again. > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I > haven't and don't want to. He tells me she has a staph > infection that she thought was breast cancer and has moved > from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone because the > humidity was making the staph worse. > > Â Â Â If you just had to re-read that to try > to see if there is any sense in it don't worry there isn't. > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her > brain. > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a > staph infection there isn't anything I can do about it and I > still do not wish to speak to her. > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I > answered (which is rare because those are often Nada) and it > was my Aunt, Nada's sister. She too ask if I've been in > touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and remind her > that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says > she talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's > boyfriend dumped her due to her not getting a biopsy on the > suspected breast cancer. Nada has apparently told her she > has " been in a different universe the past month, but it's > ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, > along with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has > gone to Colorado to see a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada > is infamous for her bed-jumping so this is not a surprise. > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not > wish to be involved. > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will > buckle and talk to Nada. His lack of confidence is > completely irritating. > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I > text back. > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork > and " she hasn't told us because she didn't want us to > worry. " My response was she needs to see a doctor. He wanted > me to call so we can talk. I turned my phone off. > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old > responsibility to rush in and get her medical care. Part of > me wonders if this is enough to have her committed. (I know > it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like this is a > test to check my resolve on going NC. > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in > conversations it sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are > welcome. > > Riah > > > > ------------------------------------ > > **This group is based on principles in Randi Kreger's new > book The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality > Disorder: New Tips and Tools to Stop Walking on Eggshells, > available at www.BPDCentral.com.** Problems? Write @.... > DO NOT RESPOND ON THE LIST. > > To unsub from this list, send a blank email to WTOAdultChildren1-unsubscribe . > > > Recommended: " Toxic Parents, " " Surviving a Borderline > Parent, " and " Understanding the Borderline Mother " (hard to > find) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 Riah, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that most of us who are NC have been (or currently ARE) where you're at. While we all have to decide what " NC " means for ourselves, I know that for me what worked was to simply stop my relatives from discussing ANYTHING about nada with me. Well, sort of...if they want to bring up ancient crazy, that's fine. But I'm not discussing current nada events. It was hard. I went NC the day after Christmas 2007. Nada had been in the hospital since early November. She had gone in with undiagnosable symptoms (that ended up being pneumonia caused by a bacteria that rarely causes pneumonia). Three days after entering the hospital for that she " slipped and fell " , breaking her back and her wrist. So she had to be flat on her back for the breakage, but needed to be upright for her lungs...it was a disaster. At one point she was in ICU on a ventilator, comatose, and we were being asked what her final directives were. Anyway, they finally figured out the cause of her pneumonia so they could treat it, and she moved to a nursing facility for her back to heal. Without going in to the drama that caused me to go NC once and for all, the situation was that she was still pretty ill and in the nursing facility when I made that decision. Which, of course, just her being ill was cause for all sorts of drama. Lots of family members were contacting me about that...I even got an odd phone call from the facility a few weeks later from someone claiming to be a social worker. She said that I was the first emergency contact listed (which I'm sure was bs) and that nada was going to be coming home soon and she (the social worker) wanted to talk to me about how I felt about that and to make sure the home was prepared. I didn't respond to any of that, I just said " I'm not involved in this, you need to talk to her husband since he is the one responsible for her " I had to say it several times and then finally had to hang up on her. I'm pretty sure it was probably one of nada's friends and not an actual social worker. But since then, when friends or family call to ask me about her, I've had to draw explicit and clear boundaries. " How is your mother? " " You can ask her...here's her phone number. " " Have you talked to her? " " You know, that's not open for discussion " or I've had to cut them off when they start talking about her. I'm sure sometimes I was less than gracious or polite, but eventually they all get the hint and it stops happening. They either realize that I really do mean it when I say " Our relationship is about you and me, not about me and my mother or me, you, and my mother " or they decide I'm the horrific person she tells them about and they stop talking to me. Either way, the drama ends. Ninera > > Subject: Flying monkeys > To: WTOAdultChildren1 > Date: Thursday, September 9, 2010, 2:52 AM > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, > or just smack my forehead into my palm. > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She > has called, I just don't answer. I haven't specifically told > her I don't want contact. > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the > favorite. He just got out of prison for car theft 2 months > ago. I have cautiously been in contact with him. > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being > text messaged to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever > again. > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I > haven't and don't want to. He tells me she has a staph > infection that she thought was breast cancer and has moved > from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone because the > humidity was making the staph worse. > > Â Â Â If you just had to re-read that to try > to see if there is any sense in it don't worry there isn't. > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her > brain. > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a > staph infection there isn't anything I can do about it and I > still do not wish to speak to her. > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I > answered (which is rare because those are often Nada) and it > was my Aunt, Nada's sister. She too ask if I've been in > touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and remind her > that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says > she talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's > boyfriend dumped her due to her not getting a biopsy on the > suspected breast cancer. Nada has apparently told her she > has " been in a different universe the past month, but it's > ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, > along with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has > gone to Colorado to see a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada > is infamous for her bed-jumping so this is not a surprise. > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not > wish to be involved. > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will > buckle and talk to Nada. His lack of confidence is > completely irritating. > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I > text back. > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork > and " she hasn't told us because she didn't want us to > worry. " My response was she needs to see a doctor. He wanted > me to call so we can talk. I turned my phone off. > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old > responsibility to rush in and get her medical care. Part of > me wonders if this is enough to have her committed. (I know > it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like this is a > test to check my resolve on going NC. > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in > conversations it sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are > welcome. > > Riah > > > > ------------------------------------ > > **This group is based on principles in Randi Kreger's new > book The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality > Disorder: New Tips and Tools to Stop Walking on Eggshells, > available at www.BPDCentral.com.** Problems? Write @.... > DO NOT RESPOND ON THE LIST. > > To unsub from this list, send a blank email to WTOAdultChildren1-unsubscribe . > > > Recommended: " Toxic Parents, " " Surviving a Borderline > Parent, " and " Understanding the Borderline Mother " (hard to > find) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 Fight the power. Bat away the monkeys. They are ugly, creepy little things anyway--actors (pretenders) in a ugly green costumes. I respectfully disagree with your SO. You've got this. You clearly have the resolve it takes to keep NC. I also think it's hard NOT to feel some of those old things come back up. You've been bombarded!! I do know one thing, though: you really can't impact that level of insanity. Either let them spin away (alone) with their crazy, or go down with them. No other options, here. Hope this passes quickly!! Blessings, Karla > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead into my palm. > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has called, I just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want contact. > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. He just got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously been in contact with him. > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text messaged to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and don't want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was breast cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone because the humidity was making the staph worse. > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any sense in it don't worry there isn't. > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph infection there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to speak to her. > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered (which is rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's sister. She too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says she talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped her due to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada has apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past month, but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, along with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to Colorado to see a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping so this is not a surprise. > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish to be involved. > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle and talk to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text back. > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and " she hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response was she needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I turned my phone off. > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to rush in and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to have her committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like this is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations it sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > Riah > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 Fight the power. Bat away the monkeys. They are ugly, creepy little things anyway--actors (pretenders) in a ugly green costumes. I respectfully disagree with your SO. You've got this. You clearly have the resolve it takes to keep NC. I also think it's hard NOT to feel some of those old things come back up. You've been bombarded!! I do know one thing, though: you really can't impact that level of insanity. Either let them spin away (alone) with their crazy, or go down with them. No other options, here. Hope this passes quickly!! Blessings, Karla > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead into my palm. > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has called, I just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want contact. > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. He just got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously been in contact with him. > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text messaged to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and don't want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was breast cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone because the humidity was making the staph worse. > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any sense in it don't worry there isn't. > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph infection there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to speak to her. > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered (which is rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's sister. She too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says she talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped her due to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada has apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past month, but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, along with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to Colorado to see a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping so this is not a surprise. > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish to be involved. > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle and talk to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text back. > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and " she hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response was she needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I turned my phone off. > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to rush in and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to have her committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like this is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations it sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > Riah > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 Fight the power. Bat away the monkeys. They are ugly, creepy little things anyway--actors (pretenders) in a ugly green costumes. I respectfully disagree with your SO. You've got this. You clearly have the resolve it takes to keep NC. I also think it's hard NOT to feel some of those old things come back up. You've been bombarded!! I do know one thing, though: you really can't impact that level of insanity. Either let them spin away (alone) with their crazy, or go down with them. No other options, here. Hope this passes quickly!! Blessings, Karla > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead into my palm. > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has called, I just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want contact. > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. He just got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously been in contact with him. > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text messaged to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and don't want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was breast cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone because the humidity was making the staph worse. > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any sense in it don't worry there isn't. > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph infection there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to speak to her. > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered (which is rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's sister. She too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says she talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped her due to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada has apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past month, but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, along with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to Colorado to see a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping so this is not a surprise. > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish to be involved. > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle and talk to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text back. > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and " she hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response was she needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I turned my phone off. > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to rush in and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to have her committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like this is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations it sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > Riah > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 Lolol! Turning every call from the flying monkeys into a (fake) opportunity to pitch them some product (pretend to solicit money from them) should stop the calls cold. I like the way you think! -Annie > > > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead into my palm. > > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has called, I just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want contact. > > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. He just got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously been in contact with him. > > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text messaged to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and don't want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was breast cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone because the humidity was making the staph worse. > > > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any sense in it don't worry there isn't. > > > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph infection there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to speak to her. > > > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered (which is rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's sister. She too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says she talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped her due to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada has apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past month, but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, along with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to Colorado to see a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping so this is not a surprise. > > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish to be involved. > > > > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle and talk to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text back. > > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and " she hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response was she needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I turned my phone off. > > > > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to rush in and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to have her committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like this is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations it sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > > > Riah > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 Lolol! Turning every call from the flying monkeys into a (fake) opportunity to pitch them some product (pretend to solicit money from them) should stop the calls cold. I like the way you think! -Annie > > > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead into my palm. > > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has called, I just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want contact. > > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. He just got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously been in contact with him. > > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text messaged to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and don't want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was breast cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone because the humidity was making the staph worse. > > > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any sense in it don't worry there isn't. > > > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph infection there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to speak to her. > > > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered (which is rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's sister. She too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says she talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped her due to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada has apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past month, but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, along with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to Colorado to see a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping so this is not a surprise. > > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish to be involved. > > > > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle and talk to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text back. > > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and " she hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response was she needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I turned my phone off. > > > > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to rush in and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to have her committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like this is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations it sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > > > Riah > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 Lolol! Turning every call from the flying monkeys into a (fake) opportunity to pitch them some product (pretend to solicit money from them) should stop the calls cold. I like the way you think! -Annie > > > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead into my palm. > > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has called, I just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want contact. > > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. He just got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously been in contact with him. > > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text messaged to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and don't want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was breast cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone because the humidity was making the staph worse. > > > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any sense in it don't worry there isn't. > > > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph infection there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to speak to her. > > > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered (which is rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's sister. She too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says she talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped her due to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada has apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past month, but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, along with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to Colorado to see a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping so this is not a surprise. > > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish to be involved. > > > > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle and talk to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text back. > > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and " she hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response was she needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I turned my phone off. > > > > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to rush in and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to have her committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like this is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations it sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > > > Riah > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 It is kind of eerie, isn't it. How alike the behaviors can be. -Annie > > > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead into my palm. > > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has called, I just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want contact. > > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. He just got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously been in contact with him. > > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text messaged to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and don't want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was breast cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone because the humidity was making the staph worse. > > > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any sense in it don't worry there isn't. > > > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph infection there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to speak to her. > > > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered (which is rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's sister. She too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says she talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped her due to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada has apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past month, but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, along with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to Colorado to see a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping so this is not a surprise. > > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish to be involved. > > > > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle and talk to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text back. > > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and " she hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response was she needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I turned my phone off. > > > > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to rush in and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to have her committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like this is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations it sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > > > Riah > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 It is kind of eerie, isn't it. How alike the behaviors can be. -Annie > > > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead into my palm. > > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has called, I just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want contact. > > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. He just got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously been in contact with him. > > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text messaged to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and don't want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was breast cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone because the humidity was making the staph worse. > > > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any sense in it don't worry there isn't. > > > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph infection there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to speak to her. > > > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered (which is rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's sister. She too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says she talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped her due to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada has apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past month, but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, along with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to Colorado to see a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping so this is not a surprise. > > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish to be involved. > > > > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle and talk to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text back. > > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and " she hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response was she needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I turned my phone off. > > > > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to rush in and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to have her committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like this is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations it sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > > > Riah > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 It is kind of eerie, isn't it. How alike the behaviors can be. -Annie > > > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead into my palm. > > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has called, I just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want contact. > > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. He just got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously been in contact with him. > > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text messaged to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and don't want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was breast cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone because the humidity was making the staph worse. > > > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any sense in it don't worry there isn't. > > > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph infection there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to speak to her. > > > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered (which is rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's sister. She too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says she talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped her due to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada has apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past month, but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, along with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to Colorado to see a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping so this is not a surprise. > > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish to be involved. > > > > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle and talk to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text back. > > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and " she hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response was she needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I turned my phone off. > > > > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to rush in and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to have her committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like this is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations it sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > > > Riah > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 I love the idea of a BPD scout group. " Lets see how accomplished we can become in our refusal to live in reality. " In a way its very comforting to think that they all pull similar things. It makes me feel less crazy to hear from everyone here that this has happened to them. I'm so grateful to this group for being here. I think unless you've lived with someone who has BPD there is no way to know how it feels. I'm really glad I am back. > > > > > > > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead into my > > > palm. > > > > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has called, > > I > > > just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want contact. > > > > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. He > > just > > > got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously been in > > > contact with him. > > > > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text > > messaged > > > to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > > > > > > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and don't > > > want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was > > breast > > > cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone > > because > > > the humidity was making the staph worse. > > > > > > > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any sense in > > it > > > don't worry there isn't. > > > > > > > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > > > > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > > > > > > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph infection > > > there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to speak > > to > > > her. > > > > > > > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered (which > > is > > > rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's sister. She > > > too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and > > > remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says she > > > talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped her > > due > > > to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada has > > > apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past month, > > > but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, > > along > > > with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to Colorado to > > see > > > a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping so > > this > > > is not a surprise. > > > > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish to be > > > involved. > > > > > > > > > > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle and talk > > > to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > > > > > > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text back. > > > > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and " she > > > hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response was she > > > needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I turned my > > > phone off. > > > > > > > > > > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to rush > > in > > > and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to have > > her > > > committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like > > this > > > is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > > > > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations it > > > sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > > > > > > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > > > > > > > Riah > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 I love the idea of a BPD scout group. " Lets see how accomplished we can become in our refusal to live in reality. " In a way its very comforting to think that they all pull similar things. It makes me feel less crazy to hear from everyone here that this has happened to them. I'm so grateful to this group for being here. I think unless you've lived with someone who has BPD there is no way to know how it feels. I'm really glad I am back. > > > > > > > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead into my > > > palm. > > > > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has called, > > I > > > just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want contact. > > > > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. He > > just > > > got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously been in > > > contact with him. > > > > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text > > messaged > > > to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > > > > > > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and don't > > > want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was > > breast > > > cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone > > because > > > the humidity was making the staph worse. > > > > > > > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any sense in > > it > > > don't worry there isn't. > > > > > > > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > > > > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > > > > > > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph infection > > > there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to speak > > to > > > her. > > > > > > > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered (which > > is > > > rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's sister. She > > > too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and > > > remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says she > > > talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped her > > due > > > to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada has > > > apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past month, > > > but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, > > along > > > with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to Colorado to > > see > > > a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping so > > this > > > is not a surprise. > > > > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish to be > > > involved. > > > > > > > > > > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle and talk > > > to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > > > > > > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text back. > > > > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and " she > > > hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response was she > > > needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I turned my > > > phone off. > > > > > > > > > > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to rush > > in > > > and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to have > > her > > > committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like > > this > > > is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > > > > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations it > > > sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > > > > > > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > > > > > > > Riah > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 I love the idea of a BPD scout group. " Lets see how accomplished we can become in our refusal to live in reality. " In a way its very comforting to think that they all pull similar things. It makes me feel less crazy to hear from everyone here that this has happened to them. I'm so grateful to this group for being here. I think unless you've lived with someone who has BPD there is no way to know how it feels. I'm really glad I am back. > > > > > > > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead into my > > > palm. > > > > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has called, > > I > > > just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want contact. > > > > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. He > > just > > > got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously been in > > > contact with him. > > > > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text > > messaged > > > to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > > > > > > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and don't > > > want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was > > breast > > > cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone > > because > > > the humidity was making the staph worse. > > > > > > > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any sense in > > it > > > don't worry there isn't. > > > > > > > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > > > > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > > > > > > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph infection > > > there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to speak > > to > > > her. > > > > > > > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered (which > > is > > > rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's sister. She > > > too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and > > > remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says she > > > talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped her > > due > > > to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada has > > > apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past month, > > > but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, > > along > > > with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to Colorado to > > see > > > a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping so > > this > > > is not a surprise. > > > > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish to be > > > involved. > > > > > > > > > > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle and talk > > > to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > > > > > > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text back. > > > > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and " she > > > hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response was she > > > needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I turned my > > > phone off. > > > > > > > > > > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to rush > > in > > > and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to have > > her > > > committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like > > this > > > is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > > > > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations it > > > sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > > > > > > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > > > > > > > Riah > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 Thanks. I guess I still feel sorry for the monkeys... It's the sympathy that I struggle with and then that snowballs into me dealing with the crazy again. You are very right. There is no good outcome from dealing with it on any level. I think I'm going to explain to my SO that it's a lot harder to keep my resolve when he or anyone else expresses doubt about it. What I need from him is support whether or not he believes I really can maintain NC. Again, so grateful for this group. > > > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead into my palm. > > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has called, I just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want contact. > > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. He just got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously been in contact with him. > > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text messaged to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and don't want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was breast cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone because the humidity was making the staph worse. > > > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any sense in it don't worry there isn't. > > > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph infection there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to speak to her. > > > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered (which is rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's sister. She too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says she talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped her due to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada has apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past month, but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, along with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to Colorado to see a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping so this is not a surprise. > > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish to be involved. > > > > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle and talk to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text back. > > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and " she hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response was she needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I turned my phone off. > > > > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to rush in and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to have her committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like this is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations it sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > > > Riah > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 Thanks. I guess I still feel sorry for the monkeys... It's the sympathy that I struggle with and then that snowballs into me dealing with the crazy again. You are very right. There is no good outcome from dealing with it on any level. I think I'm going to explain to my SO that it's a lot harder to keep my resolve when he or anyone else expresses doubt about it. What I need from him is support whether or not he believes I really can maintain NC. Again, so grateful for this group. > > > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead into my palm. > > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has called, I just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want contact. > > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. He just got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously been in contact with him. > > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text messaged to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and don't want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was breast cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone because the humidity was making the staph worse. > > > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any sense in it don't worry there isn't. > > > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph infection there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to speak to her. > > > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered (which is rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's sister. She too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says she talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped her due to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada has apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past month, but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, along with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to Colorado to see a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping so this is not a surprise. > > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish to be involved. > > > > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle and talk to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text back. > > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and " she hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response was she needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I turned my phone off. > > > > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to rush in and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to have her committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like this is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations it sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > > > Riah > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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