Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 Thanks. I guess I still feel sorry for the monkeys... It's the sympathy that I struggle with and then that snowballs into me dealing with the crazy again. You are very right. There is no good outcome from dealing with it on any level. I think I'm going to explain to my SO that it's a lot harder to keep my resolve when he or anyone else expresses doubt about it. What I need from him is support whether or not he believes I really can maintain NC. Again, so grateful for this group. > > > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead into my palm. > > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has called, I just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want contact. > > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. He just got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously been in contact with him. > > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text messaged to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and don't want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was breast cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone because the humidity was making the staph worse. > > > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any sense in it don't worry there isn't. > > > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph infection there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to speak to her. > > > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered (which is rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's sister. She too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says she talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped her due to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada has apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past month, but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, along with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to Colorado to see a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping so this is not a surprise. > > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish to be involved. > > > > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle and talk to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text back. > > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and " she hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response was she needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I turned my phone off. > > > > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to rush in and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to have her committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like this is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations it sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > > > Riah > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 I like Annie's idea. How about we invite them to join our religion? The Summums is a super interesting one. . . or you wouldn't believe the ties I have with Mormon Missionaries. Just send the Mormon's over (ha ha ha, my nada is mormon no offense if you are - but any religion can be used like a battering ram). > > > Thanks. > > I guess I still feel sorry for the monkeys... It's the sympathy that I > struggle with and then that snowballs into me dealing with the crazy again. > You are very right. There is no good outcome from dealing with it on any > level. > > I think I'm going to explain to my SO that it's a lot harder to keep my > resolve when he or anyone else expresses doubt about it. What I need from > him is support whether or not he believes I really can maintain NC. > > Again, so grateful for this group. > > > > > > > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead into my > palm. > > > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has called, > I just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want contact. > > > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. He > just got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously been in > contact with him. > > > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text > messaged to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > > > > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and don't > want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was breast > cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone because > the humidity was making the staph worse. > > > > > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any sense in > it don't worry there isn't. > > > > > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > > > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > > > > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph infection > there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to speak to > her. > > > > > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered (which > is rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's sister. She > too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and > remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says she > talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped her due > to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada has > apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past month, > but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, along > with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to Colorado to see > a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping so this > is not a surprise. > > > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish to be > involved. > > > > > > > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle and talk > to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > > > > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text back. > > > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and " she > hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response was she > needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I turned my > phone off. > > > > > > > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to rush > in and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to have > her committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like > this is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > > > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations it > sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > > > > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > > > > > Riah > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 I like Annie's idea. How about we invite them to join our religion? The Summums is a super interesting one. . . or you wouldn't believe the ties I have with Mormon Missionaries. Just send the Mormon's over (ha ha ha, my nada is mormon no offense if you are - but any religion can be used like a battering ram). > > > Thanks. > > I guess I still feel sorry for the monkeys... It's the sympathy that I > struggle with and then that snowballs into me dealing with the crazy again. > You are very right. There is no good outcome from dealing with it on any > level. > > I think I'm going to explain to my SO that it's a lot harder to keep my > resolve when he or anyone else expresses doubt about it. What I need from > him is support whether or not he believes I really can maintain NC. > > Again, so grateful for this group. > > > > > > > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead into my > palm. > > > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has called, > I just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want contact. > > > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. He > just got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously been in > contact with him. > > > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text > messaged to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > > > > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and don't > want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was breast > cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone because > the humidity was making the staph worse. > > > > > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any sense in > it don't worry there isn't. > > > > > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > > > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > > > > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph infection > there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to speak to > her. > > > > > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered (which > is rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's sister. She > too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and > remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says she > talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped her due > to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada has > apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past month, > but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, along > with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to Colorado to see > a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping so this > is not a surprise. > > > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish to be > involved. > > > > > > > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle and talk > to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > > > > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text back. > > > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and " she > hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response was she > needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I turned my > phone off. > > > > > > > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to rush > in and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to have > her committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like > this is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > > > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations it > sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > > > > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > > > > > Riah > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 I like Annie's idea. How about we invite them to join our religion? The Summums is a super interesting one. . . or you wouldn't believe the ties I have with Mormon Missionaries. Just send the Mormon's over (ha ha ha, my nada is mormon no offense if you are - but any religion can be used like a battering ram). > > > Thanks. > > I guess I still feel sorry for the monkeys... It's the sympathy that I > struggle with and then that snowballs into me dealing with the crazy again. > You are very right. There is no good outcome from dealing with it on any > level. > > I think I'm going to explain to my SO that it's a lot harder to keep my > resolve when he or anyone else expresses doubt about it. What I need from > him is support whether or not he believes I really can maintain NC. > > Again, so grateful for this group. > > > > > > > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead into my > palm. > > > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has called, > I just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want contact. > > > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. He > just got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously been in > contact with him. > > > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text > messaged to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > > > > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and don't > want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was breast > cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone because > the humidity was making the staph worse. > > > > > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any sense in > it don't worry there isn't. > > > > > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > > > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > > > > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph infection > there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to speak to > her. > > > > > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered (which > is rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's sister. She > too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and > remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says she > talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped her due > to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada has > apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past month, > but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, along > with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to Colorado to see > a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping so this > is not a surprise. > > > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish to be > involved. > > > > > > > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle and talk > to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > > > > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text back. > > > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and " she > hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response was she > needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I turned my > phone off. > > > > > > > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to rush > in and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to have > her committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like > this is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > > > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations it > sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > > > > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > > > > > Riah > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 Ouch! Ahem. Don't be dissing the Eagle Scouts. It takes years of real work, and at every stage of advancement you are interrogated by adults who try to make sure you're not some slob who's just skating by on the requirements. And the project requires that you be able to lead other people in an act of service to the community. There's no shortcut to the process - at least, not in our troop. My son's an Eagle. His dad and I have spent years making sure he is competent and will act ethically, that he can work well with people of all ages and backgrounds, and that he has a strong commitment to improving his world rather than sitting around complaining about it. In other words, we've bent over backwards to ensure he is NOTHING like my BPD mother, who whines and manipulates, pretends to have NO life skills so people will do her bidding, has " situational ethics " at best and disregards right from wrong at worst, and throws groups of people into a dysfunctional frenzy to serve her own whims. I guess if nothing else, she's been a useful cautionary tale. Okay, I'm done with that particular tangent... RIAH - Other than that, the advice you already have is excellent. I would only add that in addition to your crazy mother and her monkeys, you now have another problem - your just-released brother. Not only is he hassling you on your mom's behalf, he's sending you filthy images over the phone, and seems to be unashamed and unrepentent about it. I smell trouble. Whatever your relationship with him was before, it might be time to consider a double-NC in your family - both mom and brother. Otherwise, he's going to show up on your doorstep with some tale of woe, and then there you'll be, with him sacked out on your couch because he can't get a job due to the car theft record - AND it will be so convenient for Mom to come visit the both of you! Run, Riah, Run! > > > > > > > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead into my > > > palm. > > > > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has called, > > I > > > just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want contact. > > > > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. He > > just > > > got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously been in > > > contact with him. > > > > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text > > messaged > > > to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > > > > > > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and don't > > > want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was > > breast > > > cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone > > because > > > the humidity was making the staph worse. > > > > > > > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any sense in > > it > > > don't worry there isn't. > > > > > > > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > > > > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > > > > > > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph infection > > > there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to speak > > to > > > her. > > > > > > > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered (which > > is > > > rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's sister. She > > > too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and > > > remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says she > > > talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped her > > due > > > to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada has > > > apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past month, > > > but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, > > along > > > with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to Colorado to > > see > > > a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping so > > this > > > is not a surprise. > > > > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish to be > > > involved. > > > > > > > > > > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle and talk > > > to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > > > > > > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text back. > > > > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and " she > > > hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response was she > > > needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I turned my > > > phone off. > > > > > > > > > > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to rush > > in > > > and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to have > > her > > > committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like > > this > > > is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > > > > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations it > > > sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > > > > > > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > > > > > > > Riah > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 Ouch! Ahem. Don't be dissing the Eagle Scouts. It takes years of real work, and at every stage of advancement you are interrogated by adults who try to make sure you're not some slob who's just skating by on the requirements. And the project requires that you be able to lead other people in an act of service to the community. There's no shortcut to the process - at least, not in our troop. My son's an Eagle. His dad and I have spent years making sure he is competent and will act ethically, that he can work well with people of all ages and backgrounds, and that he has a strong commitment to improving his world rather than sitting around complaining about it. In other words, we've bent over backwards to ensure he is NOTHING like my BPD mother, who whines and manipulates, pretends to have NO life skills so people will do her bidding, has " situational ethics " at best and disregards right from wrong at worst, and throws groups of people into a dysfunctional frenzy to serve her own whims. I guess if nothing else, she's been a useful cautionary tale. Okay, I'm done with that particular tangent... RIAH - Other than that, the advice you already have is excellent. I would only add that in addition to your crazy mother and her monkeys, you now have another problem - your just-released brother. Not only is he hassling you on your mom's behalf, he's sending you filthy images over the phone, and seems to be unashamed and unrepentent about it. I smell trouble. Whatever your relationship with him was before, it might be time to consider a double-NC in your family - both mom and brother. Otherwise, he's going to show up on your doorstep with some tale of woe, and then there you'll be, with him sacked out on your couch because he can't get a job due to the car theft record - AND it will be so convenient for Mom to come visit the both of you! Run, Riah, Run! > > > > > > > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead into my > > > palm. > > > > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has called, > > I > > > just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want contact. > > > > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. He > > just > > > got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously been in > > > contact with him. > > > > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text > > messaged > > > to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > > > > > > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and don't > > > want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was > > breast > > > cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone > > because > > > the humidity was making the staph worse. > > > > > > > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any sense in > > it > > > don't worry there isn't. > > > > > > > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > > > > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > > > > > > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph infection > > > there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to speak > > to > > > her. > > > > > > > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered (which > > is > > > rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's sister. She > > > too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and > > > remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says she > > > talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped her > > due > > > to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada has > > > apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past month, > > > but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, > > along > > > with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to Colorado to > > see > > > a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping so > > this > > > is not a surprise. > > > > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish to be > > > involved. > > > > > > > > > > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle and talk > > > to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > > > > > > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text back. > > > > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and " she > > > hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response was she > > > needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I turned my > > > phone off. > > > > > > > > > > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to rush > > in > > > and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to have > > her > > > committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like > > this > > > is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > > > > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations it > > > sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > > > > > > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > > > > > > > Riah > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 Ouch! Ahem. Don't be dissing the Eagle Scouts. It takes years of real work, and at every stage of advancement you are interrogated by adults who try to make sure you're not some slob who's just skating by on the requirements. And the project requires that you be able to lead other people in an act of service to the community. There's no shortcut to the process - at least, not in our troop. My son's an Eagle. His dad and I have spent years making sure he is competent and will act ethically, that he can work well with people of all ages and backgrounds, and that he has a strong commitment to improving his world rather than sitting around complaining about it. In other words, we've bent over backwards to ensure he is NOTHING like my BPD mother, who whines and manipulates, pretends to have NO life skills so people will do her bidding, has " situational ethics " at best and disregards right from wrong at worst, and throws groups of people into a dysfunctional frenzy to serve her own whims. I guess if nothing else, she's been a useful cautionary tale. Okay, I'm done with that particular tangent... RIAH - Other than that, the advice you already have is excellent. I would only add that in addition to your crazy mother and her monkeys, you now have another problem - your just-released brother. Not only is he hassling you on your mom's behalf, he's sending you filthy images over the phone, and seems to be unashamed and unrepentent about it. I smell trouble. Whatever your relationship with him was before, it might be time to consider a double-NC in your family - both mom and brother. Otherwise, he's going to show up on your doorstep with some tale of woe, and then there you'll be, with him sacked out on your couch because he can't get a job due to the car theft record - AND it will be so convenient for Mom to come visit the both of you! Run, Riah, Run! > > > > > > > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead into my > > > palm. > > > > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has called, > > I > > > just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want contact. > > > > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. He > > just > > > got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously been in > > > contact with him. > > > > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text > > messaged > > > to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > > > > > > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and don't > > > want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was > > breast > > > cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone > > because > > > the humidity was making the staph worse. > > > > > > > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any sense in > > it > > > don't worry there isn't. > > > > > > > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > > > > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > > > > > > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph infection > > > there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to speak > > to > > > her. > > > > > > > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered (which > > is > > > rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's sister. She > > > too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and > > > remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says she > > > talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped her > > due > > > to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada has > > > apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past month, > > > but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, > > along > > > with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to Colorado to > > see > > > a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping so > > this > > > is not a surprise. > > > > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish to be > > > involved. > > > > > > > > > > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle and talk > > > to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > > > > > > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text back. > > > > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and " she > > > hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response was she > > > needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I turned my > > > phone off. > > > > > > > > > > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to rush > > in > > > and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to have > > her > > > committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like > > this > > > is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > > > > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations it > > > sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > > > > > > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > > > > > > > Riah > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 My nephew was a Scout; I have a lot of respect for what the organization teaches young people about becoming self-reliant, responsible, and service-oriented. I think perhaps what Girlscout may have meant in a tongue-in-cheek way is that IF those with bpd/npd/aspd formed a " club " in which honorary awards could be earned for mastering specific tasks ( " Basic Guilt " , " Intermediate Triangulating " , " Advanced Emotional Manipulation " , etc.) the pd people would figure out a way to cheat or to foist the work onto someone else and then claim the honorary reward as though they'd done the work themselves. Sort of the " Anti-Scouts. " I too got a weird vibe from the idea that Riah's brother feels that its OK to send Riah unsolicited pornographic images. If that was happening to me, I'd think I'd consider blocking calls from his number. Ew. -Annie > > > > > > > > > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead into my > > > > palm. > > > > > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has called, > > > I > > > > just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want contact. > > > > > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. He > > > just > > > > got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously been in > > > > contact with him. > > > > > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text > > > messaged > > > > to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > > > > > > > > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and don't > > > > want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was > > > breast > > > > cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone > > > because > > > > the humidity was making the staph worse. > > > > > > > > > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any sense in > > > it > > > > don't worry there isn't. > > > > > > > > > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > > > > > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > > > > > > > > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph infection > > > > there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to speak > > > to > > > > her. > > > > > > > > > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered (which > > > is > > > > rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's sister. She > > > > too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no and > > > > remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She says she > > > > talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped her > > > due > > > > to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada has > > > > apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past month, > > > > but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt greatly, > > > along > > > > with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to Colorado to > > > see > > > > a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping so > > > this > > > > is not a surprise. > > > > > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish to be > > > > involved. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle and talk > > > > to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > > > > > > > > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text back. > > > > > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and " she > > > > hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response was she > > > > needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I turned my > > > > phone off. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to rush > > > in > > > > and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to have > > > her > > > > committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel like > > > this > > > > is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > > > > > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations it > > > > sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > > > > > > > > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > > > > > > > > > Riah > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 Ha ha, yeah that's what I meant. An organized teired system! On Thu, Sep 9, 2010 at 5:54 PM, anuria67854 wrote: > > > My nephew was a Scout; I have a lot of respect for what the organization > teaches young people about becoming self-reliant, responsible, and > service-oriented. I think perhaps what Girlscout may have meant in a > tongue-in-cheek way is that IF those with bpd/npd/aspd formed a " club " in > which honorary awards could be earned for mastering specific tasks ( " Basic > Guilt " , " Intermediate Triangulating " , " Advanced Emotional Manipulation " , > etc.) the pd people would figure out a way to cheat or to foist the work > onto someone else and then claim the honorary reward as though they'd done > the work themselves. Sort of the " Anti-Scouts. " > > I too got a weird vibe from the idea that Riah's brother feels that its OK > to send Riah unsolicited pornographic images. If that was happening to me, > I'd think I'd consider blocking calls from his number. Ew. > > -Annie > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead > into my > > > > > palm. > > > > > > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has > called, > > > > I > > > > > just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want > contact. > > > > > > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. > He > > > > just > > > > > got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously > been in > > > > > contact with him. > > > > > > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text > > > > messaged > > > > > to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > > > > > > > > > > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and > don't > > > > > want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was > > > > breast > > > > > cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone > > > > because > > > > > the humidity was making the staph worse. > > > > > > > > > > > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any > sense in > > > > it > > > > > don't worry there isn't. > > > > > > > > > > > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > > > > > > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > > > > > > > > > > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph > infection > > > > > there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to > speak > > > > to > > > > > her. > > > > > > > > > > > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered > (which > > > > is > > > > > rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's > sister. She > > > > > too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no > and > > > > > remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She > says she > > > > > talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped > her > > > > due > > > > > to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada > has > > > > > apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past > month, > > > > > but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt > greatly, > > > > along > > > > > with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to > Colorado to > > > > see > > > > > a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping > so > > > > this > > > > > is not a surprise. > > > > > > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish > to be > > > > > involved. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle > and talk > > > > > to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > > > > > > > > > > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text > back. > > > > > > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and > " she > > > > > hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response > was she > > > > > needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I > turned my > > > > > phone off. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to > rush > > > > in > > > > > and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to > have > > > > her > > > > > committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel > like > > > > this > > > > > is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > > > > > > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations > it > > > > > sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > > > > > > > > > > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > > > > > > > > > > > Riah > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 Ha ha, yeah that's what I meant. An organized teired system! On Thu, Sep 9, 2010 at 5:54 PM, anuria67854 wrote: > > > My nephew was a Scout; I have a lot of respect for what the organization > teaches young people about becoming self-reliant, responsible, and > service-oriented. I think perhaps what Girlscout may have meant in a > tongue-in-cheek way is that IF those with bpd/npd/aspd formed a " club " in > which honorary awards could be earned for mastering specific tasks ( " Basic > Guilt " , " Intermediate Triangulating " , " Advanced Emotional Manipulation " , > etc.) the pd people would figure out a way to cheat or to foist the work > onto someone else and then claim the honorary reward as though they'd done > the work themselves. Sort of the " Anti-Scouts. " > > I too got a weird vibe from the idea that Riah's brother feels that its OK > to send Riah unsolicited pornographic images. If that was happening to me, > I'd think I'd consider blocking calls from his number. Ew. > > -Annie > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead > into my > > > > > palm. > > > > > > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has > called, > > > > I > > > > > just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want > contact. > > > > > > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. > He > > > > just > > > > > got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously > been in > > > > > contact with him. > > > > > > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text > > > > messaged > > > > > to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > > > > > > > > > > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and > don't > > > > > want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was > > > > breast > > > > > cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone > > > > because > > > > > the humidity was making the staph worse. > > > > > > > > > > > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any > sense in > > > > it > > > > > don't worry there isn't. > > > > > > > > > > > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > > > > > > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > > > > > > > > > > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph > infection > > > > > there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to > speak > > > > to > > > > > her. > > > > > > > > > > > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered > (which > > > > is > > > > > rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's > sister. She > > > > > too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no > and > > > > > remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She > says she > > > > > talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped > her > > > > due > > > > > to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada > has > > > > > apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past > month, > > > > > but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt > greatly, > > > > along > > > > > with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to > Colorado to > > > > see > > > > > a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping > so > > > > this > > > > > is not a surprise. > > > > > > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish > to be > > > > > involved. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle > and talk > > > > > to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > > > > > > > > > > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text > back. > > > > > > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and > " she > > > > > hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response > was she > > > > > needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I > turned my > > > > > phone off. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to > rush > > > > in > > > > > and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to > have > > > > her > > > > > committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel > like > > > > this > > > > > is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > > > > > > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations > it > > > > > sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > > > > > > > > > > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > > > > > > > > > > > Riah > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 Ha ha, yeah that's what I meant. An organized teired system! On Thu, Sep 9, 2010 at 5:54 PM, anuria67854 wrote: > > > My nephew was a Scout; I have a lot of respect for what the organization > teaches young people about becoming self-reliant, responsible, and > service-oriented. I think perhaps what Girlscout may have meant in a > tongue-in-cheek way is that IF those with bpd/npd/aspd formed a " club " in > which honorary awards could be earned for mastering specific tasks ( " Basic > Guilt " , " Intermediate Triangulating " , " Advanced Emotional Manipulation " , > etc.) the pd people would figure out a way to cheat or to foist the work > onto someone else and then claim the honorary reward as though they'd done > the work themselves. Sort of the " Anti-Scouts. " > > I too got a weird vibe from the idea that Riah's brother feels that its OK > to send Riah unsolicited pornographic images. If that was happening to me, > I'd think I'd consider blocking calls from his number. Ew. > > -Annie > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just smack my forehead > into my > > > > > palm. > > > > > > As I mentioned I haven't spoken to Nada since mid-June. She has > called, > > > > I > > > > > just don't answer. I haven't specifically told her I don't want > contact. > > > > > > My brother, who is the middle child and a male, is the favorite. > He > > > > just > > > > > got out of prison for car theft 2 months ago. I have cautiously > been in > > > > > contact with him. > > > > > > I called him yesterday in response to a filthy image being text > > > > messaged > > > > > to me, in order to ask him not to do that ever again. > > > > > > > > > > > > His response was " have you talked to mom? " He knows I haven't and > don't > > > > > want to. He tells me she has a staph infection that she thought was > > > > breast > > > > > cancer and has moved from Texas to Colorado without telling anyone > > > > because > > > > > the humidity was making the staph worse. > > > > > > > > > > > > If you just had to re-read that to try to see if there is any > sense in > > > > it > > > > > don't worry there isn't. > > > > > > > > > > > > Ok he then says she believes the staph has infected her brain. > > > > > > He is very concerned and wants me to be too. > > > > > > > > > > > > At this point I decided if she does or does not have a staph > infection > > > > > there isn't anything I can do about it and I still do not wish to > speak > > > > to > > > > > her. > > > > > > > > > > > > This afternoon I got a call from an unknown number. I answered > (which > > > > is > > > > > rare because those are often Nada) and it was my Aunt, Nada's > sister. She > > > > > too ask if I've been in touch with my mother. I gently tell her no > and > > > > > remind her that we had had that discussion a few months ago. She > says she > > > > > talked to her and she is concerned because Nada's boyfriend dumped > her > > > > due > > > > > to her not getting a biopsy on the suspected breast cancer. Nada > has > > > > > apparently told her she has " been in a different universe the past > month, > > > > > but it's ok because it's a happy one " This concerns my aunt > greatly, > > > > along > > > > > with the medical concern. My Aunt also says Nada has gone to > Colorado to > > > > see > > > > > a boyfriend from 25 years ago. Nada is infamous for her bed-jumping > so > > > > this > > > > > is not a surprise. > > > > > > I again tell my Aunt that while this is troubling I do not wish > to be > > > > > involved. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I explained this to my SO who tells me he thinks I will buckle > and talk > > > > > to Nada. His lack of confidence is completely irritating. > > > > > > > > > > > > Then tonight AGAIN my brother calls/ texts/ calls until I text > back. > > > > > > He says now Nada thinks she has a parasite from eating pork and > " she > > > > > hasn't told us because she didn't want us to worry. " My response > was she > > > > > needs to see a doctor. He wanted me to call so we can talk. I > turned my > > > > > phone off. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > My head is spinning. Part of me feels that old responsibility to > rush > > > > in > > > > > and get her medical care. Part of me wonders if this is enough to > have > > > > her > > > > > committed. (I know it's not) Most of all, I'm just angry. I feel > like > > > > this > > > > > is a test to check my resolve on going NC. > > > > > > I hate that my SO said I will talk to her, when in conversations > it > > > > > sounds like he believes I shouldn't. > > > > > > > > > > > > I'm not really sure what to do here. Any thoughts are welcome. > > > > > > > > > > > > Riah > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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