Re: the 5 year old. inside....

September 9, 2010

,

Thank you for your advice and insight. I am sorry to hear nada's sister turned

out to be not heatlhy. I do have many other family members I can " bond " with. I

truly just feel sorry for my aunt- but I know she has her own set of issues.

Yes, said to say the environment my mother and her sister grew up in was toxic.

SoI will implement a boundary with my aunt. It does make me sad- but I can't and

won't handle 2 nadas in my life.

Thanks again,

malinda

> > I invited my nada's sister- who does have her own set of issues- and

this aunt and I are getting closer again. Nada was on the phone today telling me

how evil this aunt is and how she has hurt her in the past and still today. She

doesn't understand how I can want to be with her. My aunt is a widower her-

whose grown sons are not around- and I know my aunt is lonely- but nada doesn't

want me to have a relationship with this woman- so I said nothing to nada's

comments.

>

> Malinda, please be careful in getting closer to your aunt. I say this not as

your nada's flying monkey (LOL), but because during the time that I was NC with

my nada I became closer to my aunt than I'd been in my whole life. She had

always appeared to me to be the more adult saner sister and in hindsight I was

longing still for a mother figure and she has no children. Turns out she was

only better than my nada when she wasn't close to me - she has turned out to be

equally as dangerous to my emotional well-being with a different MO. And once

you've become close and let them in it's not so easy to back out. And boom,

you've got two nadas instead of one. I'm not saying this is how your situation

will go down, it may be different in many important ways but felt you should

know my story as a cautionary tale.

>

> If a nada's mental illlness is caused by genetics or environment there's a

very real chance that a sibling, particularly a sister may have been affected in

the same way. I'm sure there are exceptions out there - I hope there are! But

it just seems a cruel trick of nature that it is natural to try to bond with

whatever other family you have left that appears sane, but the probability is

real that they may be unsafe at any speed also.

>

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