Re: new too

[Guest guest]

Its most important to get a bit out of your comfort zone in order to experience trust of yourself and your actions. Not so far out, though, that you want to retreat and never end up venturing further. Not everything will make sense at first, it is often a growing awareness over time and when you realize your own truth about it, it will become second nature to you.

Dieting is not the mindset I ever want to have again. After 30 years of being caught in the diet/binge cycles, I know the misery and imprisonment that brings me. However, I had 160 pounds to lose and need to be on a ketogenic type diet for diabetes, and this is a non-negotiable goal for me to achieve. I am not dieting for vanity. I am a little more than halfway to goal and I am finding that adding mindful principles into the mix is helping me relax and change how I think. I will need these principles for the rest of my life, as I will never diet again, nor will I binge. I want to find the middle path and find peace with eating.

If there are no pressing health issues that require a specific diet, then dropping the dieting altogether will bring a better perspective on IE. If one continues to rely on dieting as a crutch, one will just end up never learning the trust and the principles will not become second nature. I know this, and believe me, I do occasionally struggle with wanting to let go of what I am doing and move on, but deep down, I know that to stop now could mean a regain of which I am not willing to do at my age and with my health concerns.

I guess what I am trying to say, is that you need to listen to your needs and be brave enough to extend through the concepts and see where it takes you.

My blog: http://martinimouse.blogspot.com/

From: bkhanson

Sent: Saturday, November 27, 2010 9:51 AM

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Subject: Re: new too

HI ,Thanks for you post...very helpful to me as I transition from what the "diet" industry tells me I should do to learning to trust myself....I feel like I want to lose some weight before I actually embrace IE completely. I'm probably backwards with this, however.

Subject: Re: new tooTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Friday, November 26, 2010, 9:04 AM

Hi Marg and welcome to the group!

I feel the same way you do, the fear that for the obese, IE is more difficult than for moderately overweight to conceive of and to practice. It’s a different mindset that causes a person to become obese and the overall length of time within that mindset has also established a disordered eating pattern that is very difficult to break.

But it is not impossible. Not at all. IN fact....it is vital!

I can only give my personal experience and that should always be tempered with the reality check that YOUR experience may be different and this may not help you. I only hope to give a perspective. Others with far more experience in this, may have much better ideas to present to you.

I do not believe a person with more than 100 pounds of excess weight can move into IE without understanding that the years of a disordered relationship to food is going to be highly resistant to normal eating behaviors. It is one thing for someone who is tired of dieting and wanting the peace that comes with accepting a plump body to re-learn hunger cues and legalizing food in order to not let them be so powerful. It’s another thing to have been obese most of one’s life and not having a clue as to subtle cues the body makes, because the sensations of fullness have been so extreme for so long. Legalizing food for a person who binges regularly doesn’t often have the same meaning as it does for someone who regularly restricts food and sees favourite foods as bad or unhealthy.

So it is a different perspective and needs a lot of daily practice for it to even begin to feel right. It helped me to realize a couple of things when approaching mindful eating. First and foremost...what did I want the most out of it? At first, I wanted peace with eating. I wanted to dump dieting and learn to eat normally. I wanted to quit bingeing and have a balance of some kind. At that time, I was deep in the clutches of bingeing and deep in the cycles of dieting to correct the binge behaviour and IE seemed like a far away idealistic dream. I knew what I was doing wasn’t working and was so tired of it all. This was many years ago, when I was first introduced to IE. I learned a lot during that time and it did stop the bingeing. But other than an initial small weight loss, what I did was maintain my body weight, and that was a major accomplishment for someone who was on the rise past 300 pounds! I was willing at the time just to stop and smell the roses, so to speak. To get back in touch with my eating, back in touch with my body, and learning that food was not the enemy....my way of thinking was.

However, after leaving IE and going through a huge stress and life changing experiences, I began the gain again and my eating became erratic and extreme. I was miserable and it only added to my other problems. I went on a diet so that I had control over something in my life (just about the only thing! lol). I lost half of my excess weight. As I realized that I would indeed lose the rest, I knew that I had to find that peace again, because I would not be able to diet forever, nor did I want to find myself wondering what the heck to do when at goal. Been there before, and I know how scary that can be! The one thing I did do in my diet, was not to restrict or put any food off limit. nor did I set a specific calorie range. I simply counted calories and made choices based on what worked to lose weight. I could not fail this diet, as there were no set rules, except the task of counting, which was minimal work, as I used a nutritional software to record it all.

For now (and everything is always changing, so it is not an absolute) I am continuing to count my calories to finish to goal. but I am adding a new dimension of mindful eating within that framework. This is where I am most comfortable, as I have not yet learned to trust myself and I am unwilling to go regain the weight I have lost. I already feel a difference in taking on this approach and feeling a sense of peace because I am taking the steps back to normal eating before I actually get to a normal weight. I see this as a way to transition into the way I would love to eat and nurture myself with positive energy and thoughts rather than see it all as a black and white absolute....I am either dieting or I am bingeing. I want the middle path.

Hope you find your path!

From: morriekins

Sent: Thursday, November 25, 2010 10:45 AM

To: wlmailhtml:/mc/compose?to=IntuitiveEating_Support

Subject: new too

Hi all,I'm new to the group and would like to introduce myself.I have yo-yo'd between unhealthy diets and compulsive eating for 30 years. Each time my weight would creep higher until I ended up over 300 lbs. In 2006, in desperation I elected to have lapband surgery, which is a tool that makes it easier to diet. I lost over 100 lbs and the weight loss stopped, despite stricter diet/exercise routines. It's been a long and painful battle and I want to stop the fight so I've turned to IE. Daily living with the lapband has been awful. I have had the saline withdrawn from my lapband (the lapband works by putting increasing amounts of saline in a silicone band that tightens around the upper stomach to create a "pouch"). I can eat normal amounts of foods, so that I can ingest the nutrients needed to feel full. However, I'm terrified! I'm slowly adapting to the IE guidelines but it's been challenging. I fear that having a body/brain that is tuned to be morbidly obese (>100 lbs overweight) is too powerful a force for IE to work. I'm trying to accept myself at my current weight of 200 lbs but I do not ever want to weigh more than that again. I am grateful this group exists and that there is so much kindness expressed by everyone.Marg.------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

Its most important to get a bit out of your comfort zone in order to experience trust of yourself and your actions. Not so far out, though, that you want to retreat and never end up venturing further. Not everything will make sense at first, it is often a growing awareness over time and when you realize your own truth about it, it will become second nature to you.

Dieting is not the mindset I ever want to have again. After 30 years of being caught in the diet/binge cycles, I know the misery and imprisonment that brings me. However, I had 160 pounds to lose and need to be on a ketogenic type diet for diabetes, and this is a non-negotiable goal for me to achieve. I am not dieting for vanity. I am a little more than halfway to goal and I am finding that adding mindful principles into the mix is helping me relax and change how I think. I will need these principles for the rest of my life, as I will never diet again, nor will I binge. I want to find the middle path and find peace with eating.

If there are no pressing health issues that require a specific diet, then dropping the dieting altogether will bring a better perspective on IE. If one continues to rely on dieting as a crutch, one will just end up never learning the trust and the principles will not become second nature. I know this, and believe me, I do occasionally struggle with wanting to let go of what I am doing and move on, but deep down, I know that to stop now could mean a regain of which I am not willing to do at my age and with my health concerns.

I guess what I am trying to say, is that you need to listen to your needs and be brave enough to extend through the concepts and see where it takes you.

My blog: http://martinimouse.blogspot.com/

From: bkhanson

Sent: Saturday, November 27, 2010 9:51 AM

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Subject: Re: new too

HI ,Thanks for you post...very helpful to me as I transition from what the "diet" industry tells me I should do to learning to trust myself....I feel like I want to lose some weight before I actually embrace IE completely. I'm probably backwards with this, however.

Subject: Re: new tooTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Friday, November 26, 2010, 9:04 AM

Hi Marg and welcome to the group!

I feel the same way you do, the fear that for the obese, IE is more difficult than for moderately overweight to conceive of and to practice. It’s a different mindset that causes a person to become obese and the overall length of time within that mindset has also established a disordered eating pattern that is very difficult to break.

But it is not impossible. Not at all. IN fact....it is vital!

I can only give my personal experience and that should always be tempered with the reality check that YOUR experience may be different and this may not help you. I only hope to give a perspective. Others with far more experience in this, may have much better ideas to present to you.

I do not believe a person with more than 100 pounds of excess weight can move into IE without understanding that the years of a disordered relationship to food is going to be highly resistant to normal eating behaviors. It is one thing for someone who is tired of dieting and wanting the peace that comes with accepting a plump body to re-learn hunger cues and legalizing food in order to not let them be so powerful. It’s another thing to have been obese most of one’s life and not having a clue as to subtle cues the body makes, because the sensations of fullness have been so extreme for so long. Legalizing food for a person who binges regularly doesn’t often have the same meaning as it does for someone who regularly restricts food and sees favourite foods as bad or unhealthy.

So it is a different perspective and needs a lot of daily practice for it to even begin to feel right. It helped me to realize a couple of things when approaching mindful eating. First and foremost...what did I want the most out of it? At first, I wanted peace with eating. I wanted to dump dieting and learn to eat normally. I wanted to quit bingeing and have a balance of some kind. At that time, I was deep in the clutches of bingeing and deep in the cycles of dieting to correct the binge behaviour and IE seemed like a far away idealistic dream. I knew what I was doing wasn’t working and was so tired of it all. This was many years ago, when I was first introduced to IE. I learned a lot during that time and it did stop the bingeing. But other than an initial small weight loss, what I did was maintain my body weight, and that was a major accomplishment for someone who was on the rise past 300 pounds! I was willing at the time just to stop and smell the roses, so to speak. To get back in touch with my eating, back in touch with my body, and learning that food was not the enemy....my way of thinking was.

However, after leaving IE and going through a huge stress and life changing experiences, I began the gain again and my eating became erratic and extreme. I was miserable and it only added to my other problems. I went on a diet so that I had control over something in my life (just about the only thing! lol). I lost half of my excess weight. As I realized that I would indeed lose the rest, I knew that I had to find that peace again, because I would not be able to diet forever, nor did I want to find myself wondering what the heck to do when at goal. Been there before, and I know how scary that can be! The one thing I did do in my diet, was not to restrict or put any food off limit. nor did I set a specific calorie range. I simply counted calories and made choices based on what worked to lose weight. I could not fail this diet, as there were no set rules, except the task of counting, which was minimal work, as I used a nutritional software to record it all.

For now (and everything is always changing, so it is not an absolute) I am continuing to count my calories to finish to goal. but I am adding a new dimension of mindful eating within that framework. This is where I am most comfortable, as I have not yet learned to trust myself and I am unwilling to go regain the weight I have lost. I already feel a difference in taking on this approach and feeling a sense of peace because I am taking the steps back to normal eating before I actually get to a normal weight. I see this as a way to transition into the way I would love to eat and nurture myself with positive energy and thoughts rather than see it all as a black and white absolute....I am either dieting or I am bingeing. I want the middle path.

Hope you find your path!

From: morriekins

Sent: Thursday, November 25, 2010 10:45 AM

To: wlmailhtml:/mc/compose?to=IntuitiveEating_Support

Subject: new too

Hi all,I'm new to the group and would like to introduce myself.I have yo-yo'd between unhealthy diets and compulsive eating for 30 years. Each time my weight would creep higher until I ended up over 300 lbs. In 2006, in desperation I elected to have lapband surgery, which is a tool that makes it easier to diet. I lost over 100 lbs and the weight loss stopped, despite stricter diet/exercise routines. It's been a long and painful battle and I want to stop the fight so I've turned to IE. Daily living with the lapband has been awful. I have had the saline withdrawn from my lapband (the lapband works by putting increasing amounts of saline in a silicone band that tightens around the upper stomach to create a "pouch"). I can eat normal amounts of foods, so that I can ingest the nutrients needed to feel full. However, I'm terrified! I'm slowly adapting to the IE guidelines but it's been challenging. I fear that having a body/brain that is tuned to be morbidly obese (>100 lbs overweight) is too powerful a force for IE to work. I'm trying to accept myself at my current weight of 200 lbs but I do not ever want to weigh more than that again. I am grateful this group exists and that there is so much kindness expressed by everyone.Marg.------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

Its most important to get a bit out of your comfort zone in order to experience trust of yourself and your actions. Not so far out, though, that you want to retreat and never end up venturing further. Not everything will make sense at first, it is often a growing awareness over time and when you realize your own truth about it, it will become second nature to you.

Dieting is not the mindset I ever want to have again. After 30 years of being caught in the diet/binge cycles, I know the misery and imprisonment that brings me. However, I had 160 pounds to lose and need to be on a ketogenic type diet for diabetes, and this is a non-negotiable goal for me to achieve. I am not dieting for vanity. I am a little more than halfway to goal and I am finding that adding mindful principles into the mix is helping me relax and change how I think. I will need these principles for the rest of my life, as I will never diet again, nor will I binge. I want to find the middle path and find peace with eating.

If there are no pressing health issues that require a specific diet, then dropping the dieting altogether will bring a better perspective on IE. If one continues to rely on dieting as a crutch, one will just end up never learning the trust and the principles will not become second nature. I know this, and believe me, I do occasionally struggle with wanting to let go of what I am doing and move on, but deep down, I know that to stop now could mean a regain of which I am not willing to do at my age and with my health concerns.

I guess what I am trying to say, is that you need to listen to your needs and be brave enough to extend through the concepts and see where it takes you.

My blog: http://martinimouse.blogspot.com/

From: bkhanson

Sent: Saturday, November 27, 2010 9:51 AM

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Subject: Re: new too

HI ,Thanks for you post...very helpful to me as I transition from what the "diet" industry tells me I should do to learning to trust myself....I feel like I want to lose some weight before I actually embrace IE completely. I'm probably backwards with this, however.

Subject: Re: new tooTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Friday, November 26, 2010, 9:04 AM

Hi Marg and welcome to the group!

I feel the same way you do, the fear that for the obese, IE is more difficult than for moderately overweight to conceive of and to practice. It’s a different mindset that causes a person to become obese and the overall length of time within that mindset has also established a disordered eating pattern that is very difficult to break.

But it is not impossible. Not at all. IN fact....it is vital!

I can only give my personal experience and that should always be tempered with the reality check that YOUR experience may be different and this may not help you. I only hope to give a perspective. Others with far more experience in this, may have much better ideas to present to you.

I do not believe a person with more than 100 pounds of excess weight can move into IE without understanding that the years of a disordered relationship to food is going to be highly resistant to normal eating behaviors. It is one thing for someone who is tired of dieting and wanting the peace that comes with accepting a plump body to re-learn hunger cues and legalizing food in order to not let them be so powerful. It’s another thing to have been obese most of one’s life and not having a clue as to subtle cues the body makes, because the sensations of fullness have been so extreme for so long. Legalizing food for a person who binges regularly doesn’t often have the same meaning as it does for someone who regularly restricts food and sees favourite foods as bad or unhealthy.

So it is a different perspective and needs a lot of daily practice for it to even begin to feel right. It helped me to realize a couple of things when approaching mindful eating. First and foremost...what did I want the most out of it? At first, I wanted peace with eating. I wanted to dump dieting and learn to eat normally. I wanted to quit bingeing and have a balance of some kind. At that time, I was deep in the clutches of bingeing and deep in the cycles of dieting to correct the binge behaviour and IE seemed like a far away idealistic dream. I knew what I was doing wasn’t working and was so tired of it all. This was many years ago, when I was first introduced to IE. I learned a lot during that time and it did stop the bingeing. But other than an initial small weight loss, what I did was maintain my body weight, and that was a major accomplishment for someone who was on the rise past 300 pounds! I was willing at the time just to stop and smell the roses, so to speak. To get back in touch with my eating, back in touch with my body, and learning that food was not the enemy....my way of thinking was.

However, after leaving IE and going through a huge stress and life changing experiences, I began the gain again and my eating became erratic and extreme. I was miserable and it only added to my other problems. I went on a diet so that I had control over something in my life (just about the only thing! lol). I lost half of my excess weight. As I realized that I would indeed lose the rest, I knew that I had to find that peace again, because I would not be able to diet forever, nor did I want to find myself wondering what the heck to do when at goal. Been there before, and I know how scary that can be! The one thing I did do in my diet, was not to restrict or put any food off limit. nor did I set a specific calorie range. I simply counted calories and made choices based on what worked to lose weight. I could not fail this diet, as there were no set rules, except the task of counting, which was minimal work, as I used a nutritional software to record it all.

For now (and everything is always changing, so it is not an absolute) I am continuing to count my calories to finish to goal. but I am adding a new dimension of mindful eating within that framework. This is where I am most comfortable, as I have not yet learned to trust myself and I am unwilling to go regain the weight I have lost. I already feel a difference in taking on this approach and feeling a sense of peace because I am taking the steps back to normal eating before I actually get to a normal weight. I see this as a way to transition into the way I would love to eat and nurture myself with positive energy and thoughts rather than see it all as a black and white absolute....I am either dieting or I am bingeing. I want the middle path.

Hope you find your path!

From: morriekins

Sent: Thursday, November 25, 2010 10:45 AM

To: wlmailhtml:/mc/compose?to=IntuitiveEating_Support

Subject: new too

Hi all,I'm new to the group and would like to introduce myself.I have yo-yo'd between unhealthy diets and compulsive eating for 30 years. Each time my weight would creep higher until I ended up over 300 lbs. In 2006, in desperation I elected to have lapband surgery, which is a tool that makes it easier to diet. I lost over 100 lbs and the weight loss stopped, despite stricter diet/exercise routines. It's been a long and painful battle and I want to stop the fight so I've turned to IE. Daily living with the lapband has been awful. I have had the saline withdrawn from my lapband (the lapband works by putting increasing amounts of saline in a silicone band that tightens around the upper stomach to create a "pouch"). I can eat normal amounts of foods, so that I can ingest the nutrients needed to feel full. However, I'm terrified! I'm slowly adapting to the IE guidelines but it's been challenging. I fear that having a body/brain that is tuned to be morbidly obese (>100 lbs overweight) is too powerful a force for IE to work. I'm trying to accept myself at my current weight of 200 lbs but I do not ever want to weigh more than that again. I am grateful this group exists and that there is so much kindness expressed by everyone.Marg.------------------------------------