Guilt

[Guest guest]

I have gone NC again! with both my parents. This time I want it to stick. It is

the guilt that drives me nuts. My therapist says the guilt is the result of

deep seeded messages replaying in my subconscious. Which I totally understand,

and was very helpful. But, still how do I get rid of the guilt, clearly their

weapon of choice was emotional blackmail. I know I am right to walk away from

this distructive relationship, but can't help but feel like I am the one to

blame, I am the one hurting them, I am the one destroying them. Logically I

know this is not true, but my head keeps making me feel something different. It

is best to stay NC and I will. But how do I stop thinking about them and how I

am huring them....even though as you know, they are to blame and bring on their

own problems. Ugh!!

[Guest guest]

What helped me was finally being able to access my long-repressed and deeply

buried anger. I was never allowed to acknowledge or express my anger or outrage

at the abuse I suffered, it was forbidden to me to express any negative

emotions. I suggest that if you are somehow able to finally tap into your own

repressed, forbidden anger it can help you overcome the misplaced, inappropriate

feelings of guilt.

The trick is that once you unleash your righteous anger and outrage, you have to

be its master and be able to control it and not let it become excessive and

inappropriate.

Maybe you can discuss this with your therapist, the concept that the guilt you

feel is misplaced and inappropriate, and it is masking the very real and natural

anger that you are not allowing yourself to feel. We have been brainwashed to

believe that it is " forbidden " to feel angry at our parents even when they

mistreat, neglect and abuse us.

I'm not saying go out and beat up your parents or burn down their house or

revile them, I'm just saying that your repressed anger can help you overcome the

programming/brainwashing/conditioning that they installed in you to feel guilty

and responsible for their well-being.

Talk to your therapist about it, see what he or she has to say about this. All

I can say is that accessing my own repressed, forbidden anger helped me to not

feel so hideously guilty any more for just distancing myself and protecting

myself from further emotional abuse.

-Annie

>

> I have gone NC again! with both my parents. This time I want it to stick. It

is the guilt that drives me nuts. My therapist says the guilt is the result of

deep seeded messages replaying in my subconscious. Which I totally understand,

and was very helpful. But, still how do I get rid of the guilt, clearly their

weapon of choice was emotional blackmail. I know I am right to walk away from

this distructive relationship, but can't help but feel like I am the one to

blame, I am the one hurting them, I am the one destroying them. Logically I

know this is not true, but my head keeps making me feel something different. It

is best to stay NC and I will. But how do I stop thinking about them and how I

am huring them....even though as you know, they are to blame and bring on their

own problems. Ugh!!

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you that is helpfull.

> >

> > I have gone NC again! with both my parents. This time I want it to stick.

It is the guilt that drives me nuts. My therapist says the guilt is the result

of deep seeded messages replaying in my subconscious. Which I totally

understand, and was very helpful. But, still how do I get rid of the guilt,

clearly their weapon of choice was emotional blackmail. I know I am right to

walk away from this distructive relationship, but can't help but feel like I am

the one to blame, I am the one hurting them, I am the one destroying them.

Logically I know this is not true, but my head keeps making me feel something

different. It is best to stay NC and I will. But how do I stop thinking about

them and how I am huring them....even though as you know, they are to blame and

bring on their own problems. Ugh!!

> >

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