Re: Re: spoiling for a fight

[Guest guest]

I was labeled hard headed when I spoke my mind and was told the same

thing about arguing with a stop sign

Re: spoiling for a fight

Joe and Felicia, thanks for your responses. Nice to know I'm not the only one.

You know the funny part is that I hardly ever win or convince anyone of anything

- ever. I'm stepping away though nothing good comes from it.

A memory spark here...Joe what they said about you arguing with a stop sign, my

FOO would say that I was very argumentative when I was a kid. But really I was

just pointing out reality when they said crazy untrue things...they found this

" argumentative " and rude. Maybe that's where it all started. Hmmmm.

>

> I used to be on political sites alot. I would argue and argue for hours. It

was nothing but a waste of time. My family always told me I loved to argue and

would argue with a stop sign...I didn't realize then that the reason was I was

the painted black child and was blamed for everything and always had to defend

myself. One thing that occurred to me was that I wasn't paying attention to how

I felt about myself when i did that and what it did to me emotionally. It took

several years of doing that before I realized it was messing me up arguing on

the internet because it is so addictive and there is always someone out there to

argue with. After a break from that I now am aware of my feelings when I do it

and I don't really like myself when I do it.

>

> --- In WTOAdultChildren1@yah

[The entire original message is not included]

[Guest guest]

I was labeled hard headed when I spoke my mind and was told the same

thing about arguing with a stop sign

Re: spoiling for a fight

Joe and Felicia, thanks for your responses. Nice to know I'm not the only one.

You know the funny part is that I hardly ever win or convince anyone of anything

- ever. I'm stepping away though nothing good comes from it.

A memory spark here...Joe what they said about you arguing with a stop sign, my

FOO would say that I was very argumentative when I was a kid. But really I was

just pointing out reality when they said crazy untrue things...they found this

" argumentative " and rude. Maybe that's where it all started. Hmmmm.

>

> I used to be on political sites alot. I would argue and argue for hours. It

was nothing but a waste of time. My family always told me I loved to argue and

would argue with a stop sign...I didn't realize then that the reason was I was

the painted black child and was blamed for everything and always had to defend

myself. One thing that occurred to me was that I wasn't paying attention to how

I felt about myself when i did that and what it did to me emotionally. It took

several years of doing that before I realized it was messing me up arguing on

the internet because it is so addictive and there is always someone out there to

argue with. After a break from that I now am aware of my feelings when I do it

and I don't really like myself when I do it.

>

> --- In WTOAdultChildren1@yah

[The entire original message is not included]

[Guest guest]

I was labeled hard headed when I spoke my mind and was told the same

thing about arguing with a stop sign

Re: spoiling for a fight

Joe and Felicia, thanks for your responses. Nice to know I'm not the only one.

You know the funny part is that I hardly ever win or convince anyone of anything

- ever. I'm stepping away though nothing good comes from it.

A memory spark here...Joe what they said about you arguing with a stop sign, my

FOO would say that I was very argumentative when I was a kid. But really I was

just pointing out reality when they said crazy untrue things...they found this

" argumentative " and rude. Maybe that's where it all started. Hmmmm.

>

> I used to be on political sites alot. I would argue and argue for hours. It

was nothing but a waste of time. My family always told me I loved to argue and

would argue with a stop sign...I didn't realize then that the reason was I was

the painted black child and was blamed for everything and always had to defend

myself. One thing that occurred to me was that I wasn't paying attention to how

I felt about myself when i did that and what it did to me emotionally. It took

several years of doing that before I realized it was messing me up arguing on

the internet because it is so addictive and there is always someone out there to

argue with. After a break from that I now am aware of my feelings when I do it

and I don't really like myself when I do it.

>

> --- In WTOAdultChildren1@yah

[The entire original message is not included]

[Guest guest]

Goodness, , same here on that pointing out reality thing! My family will

swear up and down that I just love a good fight, when in reality arguments and

fights tear me up internally.

That's not to say I don't still get in them...much more so in the past,

especially online. Since my profession involves childrearing, there's a lot of

debates that happen.

I think at the heart it is repetition compulsion...we want so badly to " do it

right " that we seek out (sometimes unconsciously) situations (even people) to

retry the argument with.

Heck, even when I try to avoid it I manage to end up with people who (literally)

stalk my comments (esp on facebook) to try and pick a fight. It's tough,

especially when I care deeply about the issue!

Ninera

>

> Subject: Re: spoiling for a fight

> To: WTOAdultChildren1

> Date: Tuesday, September 14, 2010, 10:17 AM

> Joe and Felicia, thanks for your

> responses.  Nice to know I'm not the only one. 

> You know the funny part is that I hardly ever win or

> convince anyone of anything - ever.  I'm stepping away

> though nothing good comes from it.

>

> A memory spark here...Joe what they said about you arguing

> with a stop sign, my FOO would say that I was very

> argumentative when I was a kid.  But really I was just

> pointing out reality when they said crazy untrue

> things...they found this " argumentative " and rude. 

> Maybe that's where it all started.  Hmmmm.

>

>

>