Resisting Negative Messages from Culture or Peers? Re: New Member Introduction

[Guest guest]

Thank YOU! I'm also feeling so good knowing I know have other people to talk to

about this and there are others going through it too. I didn't realize how hard

it was to have everything I'm thinking and learning happen largely in my head.

It does me so much good to just hear " me too " from you

I'm going to add to the subject line (I read this as suggestion in the group

rules) since I want to talk more about how to resist negative messages and

wonder if others may be interested as well...

I also have a hard time with the " thin = best " cult as you call it. Its so hard

that our culture has started to march to the beat of the dieting drum and you

can't go anywhere without hearing some sort of good is good, bad, or evil

rhetoric. I have a very hard time hearing things like this. I'm trying very hard

to learn to control my reactions to these things, since I know that it will be

impossible to control the messages themselves, but some things still have the

capacity to effect me so much emotionally. I find myself muting commercials for

diet foods or those terrible " shocking amounts of calories in restaurant foods "

on the Today Show b/c I just can't handle them. My family is well is totally

obsessed with dieting, which I now realize is not b/c my genetic history has

caused my family to have to battle its weight, but that we all were raised with

a twisted relationship to food b/c of that. I've spoken to my Mom a little about

my issues with food, but so far have not gone so far as to make them aware what

I'm going through. So far I've subscribed to the idea that I can " go it alone "

and it will make me stronger in the long run. But now I'm questioning that

belief.

> >

> > Hello Everyone!

> >

> > My name is Casey. I'm very excited to get to know all of you, and hopefully

learn a lot from you too.

> >

> > I've been " trying " (not a good word, can't think of any better) Intuitive

Eating for about 2 years now, and am so glad I discovered a way to help deal

with my real issues and disordered eating problems. When I look back at my life

I'm sometimes shocked at all of the time I have wasted worrying about and

obsessive over food and my weight. But for as much as I've learned, sometimes I

feel like I haven't made any progress at all. And while I do talk to my husband

about this, there's no one in my life that can really understand or that I can

share and get help from. So I've been feeling a little desperate and downtrodden

lately, and I was searching for some help and resources on IE and came across

this group. I'm really hoping some of you may have gone through or are going

through something similar and can offer some advice (or just commiseration?) for

me.

> >

> > I say sometimes I feel like I've made no progress at all b/c I've lately

realized that I've never *really* dealt with my core issues. This winter is the

first time I've gained a significant amount of weight since I started IE. And in

feeling uncomfortable with this I think I've come up against a great wall. Like

a gauntlet has finally been thrown forcing me to really, for really really get

myself right, but I also worry that this is not possible. If I'm feeling

bothered about my weight, it really means that I've never given up the ghost.

I've always used the fact that I hadn't been gaining weight as a measure of

success of IE. Really, using my weight as a measure of how good I should feel

about myself like I have pretty much my entire life.

> >

> > And in struggling with this I now realize that I've also never really been

able to turn off the food police and given myself permission to eat anything,

and while I rarely slip in to binge behavior anymore I also rarely focus on my

food while I'm eating and have a lot of trouble calming down and eating slowly

at a meal. Sometimes I just feel so broken and like I'll never really get

better. And I can't seem to stop thinking that if I just " do this right " I'll

get to my happy weight and everything will be just great. Even though I know

that none of that is true I can't seem to help thinking it or know how to

counteract those thoughts.

> >

> > Have any of you been through something similar as well? Is there a light at

the end of the tunnel?

> >

> > Thanks for any help you can give. I look forward to getting to know all of

you.

> >

> > - Casey

> >

>