Re: Re: Rules!!!!

[Guest guest]

I've been thinking about these posts a lot. These issues have come up on this listserve many times... and it's interesting to me because it always seems to bring up strong feelings, on both sides.

I remember when I dieted in the past, books saying to eat without distractions, and i always felt like " you expect me to diet AND to give up eating with a book??? no way, that's too many sacrifices! "

but then when I started IE, using I Can Make You Thin as my entry point, I decided that since I got to eat whatever I wanted, as long as I was hungry, that I could afford to make the sacrifice. 

It was REALLY hard at first. I was actually depressed for the first week or two. Then suddenly I turned the corner and it was actually much more pleasurable, usually, than eating with distraction.

Today I eat without distraction maybe 80% of the time. I do think it's EXTREMELY useful to learn to focus on eating. When people are very resistant to this, like when the idea makes them angry, it seems to me that there is a message in that resistance, in those strong feelings.

I think SO many of us use food as a trusted, favorite escape, and when mealtime comes, we want to be lost in the experience of eating. Eating consciously takes away from the magic of the experience. Then it's just one more thing we do, pleasurable, yes, but not magical, and not the step out of reality that we crave.

And I think the reason I got depressed when I first started doing this is that I really missed that escape from reality.But reading Geneen Roth's books has shown me that it's the craving for the escape from reality that's the problem, not the eating. As we become more comfortable sitting with ourselves and our feelings, we won't need to use food to take care of us. It's a lot less magical, and a lot more healthy.

But I do think it's okay to let your mind wander from your food... it's not meant to be a spiritual exercise to eat, necessarily, unless you want that! it's supposed to be NICE for you. and also a healthy practice. but not homework.

that said, I do agree that there's no rules to IE, just suggestions, and we each have to do what feels best to us. and rebellion isn't a good way to work with IE. maybe looking at the rebellion is, though, a good place, ie " but WHY does the idea of eating without distraction make me so very uncomfortable? "

I do encourage people to try eating without distraction, perhaps starting with just one meal a day, and give it some time to see how it goes. the first few times may well be unpleasant -- boring or awkward somehow -- but that doesn't mean you aren't getting something out of it! maybe set a goal for yourself for how long you try it, and promise yourself that if you still aren't getting anything from it, you will stop. maybe a month?

on a tangent... I decided this week that I want to try to stop my ritual of eating " a treat " while watching my Hulu shows on Friday... and I was interested to observe that I feel a little sad that I don't have any magic left in food. nothing to look forward to. i can have that " treat " whenever i really want it... but I am not going to say that I have it on Fridays, as a way to celebrate the end of the week, because it's JUST FOOD, not a reward. i will miss that -- it was something I looked forward to, a reward for surviving another work week, and very comforting when i was tired from the long week (being tired is my trigger for overeating generally, for choosing foods i wouldn't normally choose (foods that " don't honor me " ), AND for times when i want to eat with distraction. YES i think this means something! 

all the best, whatever you decide to do,abbyIE since 11/08

 

Ah!  My old friend Foggy!  Hi!!!!

 

I was raised that reading at the table was BAD (per Dad) and something Mom did when he wasn't around...

 

Re: Rules!!!!

 

Eating and reading is my current nemesis!! I was raised bringing a book to the DR Table. Super-hard habit to change, and I'm VERY resistant to giving it up. The reading material should be relaxing, no? I'm moving away from daily newspaper toward health/fashion/decor mags and books, hoping to get more artsy...ButThe ugly problem is, I spill food and stain my clothes. Must slow down and take small bites. Thanks for the note about pausing. I need to hear it again and againI guess I take the large bites/portions that my mom took, at the nervous speed that my dad ate. oy!thank youFoggy> > > > > > > > > > > I just realized that I've dumped every non-diet type book when it suggested I eat without doing anything else. It makes me MAD!!!! Bah! I want to read and watch tv and play on the computer and work when I eat. I DON'T WANT TO EAT AND ONLY EAT!!!!!!! > > > > > > How do I get past this?> > > > > > Alyce> > > > > > > > >> >