Re: Re: Rules!!!!

[Guest guest]

Thank you, !!! It's nice to know I'm not alone. And getting some *laughter* at my post makes me realize that there is a lot I can do without doing it ALL. I have been checking in with my tummy. And I do feel less bingey.... Baby steps...right?

Good luck to you too!!!

Re: Rules!!!!

lol too I LOVE to read when I eat and at least for now, am not willing to give it up. But, I AM willing to take my first couple bites before I start reading, to pause often during the meal to make sure I'm chewing, tasting, etc. So I feel like I'm integrating some IE in, even tho' I know I'm eating with distraction.I'm also feeling willing to soon look at, why the reading is so important to me.Good luck!> > > > > > > I just realized that I've dumped every non-diet type book when it suggested I eat without doing anything else. It makes me MAD!!!! Bah! I want to read and watch tv and play on the computer and work when I eat. I DON'T WANT TO EAT AND ONLY EAT!!!!!!! > > > > How do I get past this?> > > > Alyce> > > > > >>

[Guest guest]

Thank you, Katcha!

I do need to be mindful...and I have been. I just always feel like a failure when I don't follow THE RULES.

And THANK YOU for saying it's IE for me to listen to ME. I really can't smile enough.

I'm going to start RIGHT NOW listening to my heart/head/body even if that means reading while I eat.

Re: Rules!!!!

The key word here is SUGGESTED. No bold of lightning will strike you dead if you eat while . . . TV, computer, reading etc. And if you doubt me, I can say with confidence that I've thoroughly tested that notion and can report no lightning at my end (so far - lol). What I think the reason behind that suggestion is to assist in mindfulness awareness. I found it near torture to just sit with my plate of food. But if one does it a time or two, I found it helps to bring up how mindless I have been about my eating. Sorta of an 'ah duh!' moment for me. The bad news is that I'm not as mindful as I need to be but the good news is that I'm not beating myself up over being mindless. Baby steps, I take them when and where I can. Good for you to know what you want! That's IE to me (your not listening to everyone else and their shoulds).KatchaIEing since March 2007 >> I just realized that I've dumped every non-diet type book when it suggested I eat without doing anything else. It makes me MAD!!!! Bah! I want to read and watch tv and play on the computer and work when I eat. I DON'T WANT TO EAT AND ONLY EAT!!!!!!! > > How do I get past this?> > Alyce>

[Guest guest]

Thank you, Katcha!

I do need to be mindful...and I have been. I just always feel like a failure when I don't follow THE RULES.

And THANK YOU for saying it's IE for me to listen to ME. I really can't smile enough.

I'm going to start RIGHT NOW listening to my heart/head/body even if that means reading while I eat.

Re: Rules!!!!

The key word here is SUGGESTED. No bold of lightning will strike you dead if you eat while . . . TV, computer, reading etc. And if you doubt me, I can say with confidence that I've thoroughly tested that notion and can report no lightning at my end (so far - lol). What I think the reason behind that suggestion is to assist in mindfulness awareness. I found it near torture to just sit with my plate of food. But if one does it a time or two, I found it helps to bring up how mindless I have been about my eating. Sorta of an 'ah duh!' moment for me. The bad news is that I'm not as mindful as I need to be but the good news is that I'm not beating myself up over being mindless. Baby steps, I take them when and where I can. Good for you to know what you want! That's IE to me (your not listening to everyone else and their shoulds).KatchaIEing since March 2007 >> I just realized that I've dumped every non-diet type book when it suggested I eat without doing anything else. It makes me MAD!!!! Bah! I want to read and watch tv and play on the computer and work when I eat. I DON'T WANT TO EAT AND ONLY EAT!!!!!!! > > How do I get past this?> > Alyce>

[Guest guest]

I've been thinking about these posts a lot. These issues have come up on this listserve many times... and it's interesting to me because it always seems to bring up strong feelings, on both sides.

I remember when I dieted in the past, books saying to eat without distractions, and i always felt like " you expect me to diet AND to give up eating with a book??? no way, that's too many sacrifices! "

but then when I started IE, using I Can Make You Thin as my entry point, I decided that since I got to eat whatever I wanted, as long as I was hungry, that I could afford to make the sacrifice. 

It was REALLY hard at first. I was actually depressed for the first week or two. Then suddenly I turned the corner and it was actually much more pleasurable, usually, than eating with distraction.

Today I eat without distraction maybe 80% of the time. I do think it's EXTREMELY useful to learn to focus on eating. When people are very resistant to this, like when the idea makes them angry, it seems to me that there is a message in that resistance, in those strong feelings.

I think SO many of us use food as a trusted, favorite escape, and when mealtime comes, we want to be lost in the experience of eating. Eating consciously takes away from the magic of the experience. Then it's just one more thing we do, pleasurable, yes, but not magical, and not the step out of reality that we crave.

And I think the reason I got depressed when I first started doing this is that I really missed that escape from reality.But reading Geneen Roth's books has shown me that it's the craving for the escape from reality that's the problem, not the eating. As we become more comfortable sitting with ourselves and our feelings, we won't need to use food to take care of us. It's a lot less magical, and a lot more healthy.

But I do think it's okay to let your mind wander from your food... it's not meant to be a spiritual exercise to eat, necessarily, unless you want that! it's supposed to be NICE for you. and also a healthy practice. but not homework.

that said, I do agree that there's no rules to IE, just suggestions, and we each have to do what feels best to us. and rebellion isn't a good way to work with IE. maybe looking at the rebellion is, though, a good place, ie " but WHY does the idea of eating without distraction make me so very uncomfortable? "

I do encourage people to try eating without distraction, perhaps starting with just one meal a day, and give it some time to see how it goes. the first few times may well be unpleasant -- boring or awkward somehow -- but that doesn't mean you aren't getting something out of it! maybe set a goal for yourself for how long you try it, and promise yourself that if you still aren't getting anything from it, you will stop. maybe a month?

on a tangent... I decided this week that I want to try to stop my ritual of eating " a treat " while watching my Hulu shows on Friday... and I was interested to observe that I feel a little sad that I don't have any magic left in food. nothing to look forward to. i can have that " treat " whenever i really want it... but I am not going to say that I have it on Fridays, as a way to celebrate the end of the week, because it's JUST FOOD, not a reward. i will miss that -- it was something I looked forward to, a reward for surviving another work week, and very comforting when i was tired from the long week (being tired is my trigger for overeating generally, for choosing foods i wouldn't normally choose (foods that " don't honor me " ), AND for times when i want to eat with distraction. YES i think this means something! 

all the best, whatever you decide to do,abbyIE since 11/08

 

Ah!  My old friend Foggy!  Hi!!!!

 

I was raised that reading at the table was BAD (per Dad) and something Mom did when he wasn't around...

 

Re: Rules!!!!

 

Eating and reading is my current nemesis!! I was raised bringing a book to the DR Table. Super-hard habit to change, and I'm VERY resistant to giving it up. The reading material should be relaxing, no? I'm moving away from daily newspaper toward health/fashion/decor mags and books, hoping to get more artsy...ButThe ugly problem is, I spill food and stain my clothes. Must slow down and take small bites. Thanks for the note about pausing. I need to hear it again and againI guess I take the large bites/portions that my mom took, at the nervous speed that my dad ate. oy!thank youFoggy> > > > > > > > > > > I just realized that I've dumped every non-diet type book when it suggested I eat without doing anything else. It makes me MAD!!!! Bah! I want to read and watch tv and play on the computer and work when I eat. I DON'T WANT TO EAT AND ONLY EAT!!!!!!! > > > > > > How do I get past this?> > > > > > Alyce> > > > > > > > >> >