Re: Relapse

[Guest guest]

Dawn -- that's awesome! unconditional permission is an amazing thing, isn't it??? abby

 

Tricia-My freezer is stocked with orange hostess cupcakes.  I'd been having a craving for about a month, but hadn't been able to find any.  Finally, we stumbled upon the right gas station so my husband bought me 4 packs and told me they even had more.  I ate one pack that day/evening, and froze the rest.  It feels comforting to have them in there, and more comforting to know that next time I want some, I even know where to go buy fresh ones.  Permission is a wonderful thing isn't it.

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Sent: Sun, March 6, 2011 8:02:49 AMSubject: Re: Relapse

 

I agree - I had to tell myself " It's okay that i am eating because I am really stressed out and don't feel good.  I can have these hostess cupcakes because they " feel " good to me right now.  I can stop and have more if I still feel I " need " them. "   This was just yesterday. I didn't even feel guilty about eating those cupcakes (which I never buy because they were always on the forbidden list).  I ate 2 of them and I felt better (emotionally) and that was that.  I've still got the rest of the cupcakes.  I found that if I throw out any formerly forbidden food so I won't eat it - then I'm back in the diet mentality and going backwards instead of forwards.  It was a huge step for me yesterday to be able to give myself permission to eat those cupcakes.  It

was such a relief to me. This little relapse really helped me truly feel how the intuitive eating program works.

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 2:05:09 PM

Subject: Re: Relapse 

Hi, .

  I feel very sympathetic - you're having a rough time.

It does sound a bit like IE feels depriving to you, so here's my best suggestion for the moment: could you try saying to yourself something like, " I'm eating now to soothe myself because I'm having a hard time in my life and so far I haven't figured out some better ways of easing my distress, but as long as I'm eating to soothe myself, I'm going to make sure I give myself full permission to do it, and also that I do it in such a way that gets me the maximum satisfaction from the food. "

   What that would mean is overeating only on the foods you really want at that moment, and deciding for yourself what level of fullness feels good in your body, and perhaps even eating in the most pleasant atmosphere and pace you can manage - not to make yourself eat LESS, just to make it more pleasurable so that it has the maximum soothing value. Meanwhile, you might think about whether there are some ways you can get some help with the difficult things in your life.

   Hope this is helpful. Best of luck to you.

April

 

Hello!   My name is .   Last spring I discovered Intuitive Eating and joined this group.  I haven't posted for a long time, but I always read the recent posts here.

I want to say that the concept of Intuitive Eating radically has changed my life.   I was struggling so much from depression over my recent divorce and the stress of being a single mom and the binge/self hatred/starve cycle had become just another hopeless part of my life.   I realized that this cycle was actually making my depression worse and keeping me from getting to better places emotionally.  

It took a few months but by the end of summer IE was helping me be happier where I was and who I was - which is the goal of this in my opinion.  Food lost its power over me.  I kept

chocolate bars in my freezer and actually forgot they were there!  Best of all, for the first time in my life I got into an exercise routine that I stuck to.  I did yoga nearly daily not to lose weight but because it made me feel amazing.  I focused on how things made me feel and I learned to stop eating when I was full. I did lose weight but didn't know it since I had thrown out my scale, but I shouldn't have been surprised since the weekly (or more) nights of my massive binging had stopped.  It kinda felt like a miracle since I had struggled with eating disorders my whole life.    I absolutely believe in IE.

However....Past few months, I've lost my focus.   It's like I've had a relapse.  Not sure the reason - my dad being hospitalized repeatedly since December, losing a friend, serious money stress, being snowed in, just the Winter blues.  My yoga stopped.  My binging returned.  I've

spiraled down.  This week, I've had drama with my ex husband and numbed the emotions with large and I mean LARGE amounts of food.  I feel the panic that " better eat while you can because soon I'll be doing that IE thing again "   As if IE is a diet!!!!    My pants are getting tight.  I just want to eat and sleep.  I am back to my depressive tendencies.  I am criticizing myself...

Can any of you relate to relapsing like this?  I even have reread the IE main points.  Should I read the whole thing again?  Read other books?  Should I just focus on getting back into yoga and the food will follow?  I can't seem to stop when I am full now.   I simply do not want to stop eating.  I've become a rebel.

I know I believe in IE what I am lacking now is my resolve.   Like I need to hit that " wall " of being done with these destructive habits all over again... but I

want to correct this now!   Any help would be appreciated!!!Wishing you all the best ~  ------------------------------------