Re: Pls don't judge me about this cat story

[Guest guest]

Hi Mozz,

I can tell that you are and have been a good, responsible, caring cat-mom. I've

been a cat-mom too, I had two that lived for quite a long time for pure-breds.

My little girl cat was 17 and the little boy cat was 15; he was 5 years younger

than the girl and lived almost as long as she did. They were almost like the

kids I never had; they were sweet, dear little companions and friends and yet so

different in personality from each other. The girl was fearless, but she hated

everyone but me. The boy liked people but was scared of them until he got to

know them.

I personally believe that part of being a good pet-mom is knowing, sensing when

their quality of life is deteriorating. When I sensed that each one was

beginning to have daily pain, I asked the vet to come to my home and put each

one to sleep in my arms. It took me longer to make the decision the first time.

My little girl cat was so amazingly intelligent, more like a dog than a cat.

She knew many words, could do tricks, and we " communicated " with each other

really well. My grief at the thought of losing her kept me from having her put

down longer than I should have. I was being selfish. She was in pain. I

finally made the call, and she died peacefully in my arms, in her home, on her

spot on the sofa, not at the terrifying vets after a terrifying ride in the car.

The little boy went peacefully too, a few years later.

You have tried very hard to find a good place for your chronically ill cat where

she will be well taken care of, but there is apparently just not any place

available that is financially feasible. I would not judge you to be a bad

cat-mom or a bad human being if you had her put to sleep in your home, where she

could die peacefully in your arms. I think its the kindest, most responsible,

but hardest thing to do.

But each person has to decide for himself or herself what she can tolerate, and

what feels right to you.

Best of luck,

-Annie

>

> I want to first aplogize because I feel like lately I have only been taking

from the board and not really giving back. I read a lot of posts and just feel

like I don't have anything helpful to say right now. I want to thank all that

respond to my posts because they help SO much, and right now I feel a little

crazy and could use it.

>

> I wonder what kind of person I am becoming. I say that because since nada

died, I have gone NC with all my " family " . I think that is a good, healthy move

for me. But I am also seeing myself do it with people that have hurt me or I

don't want to complicate my life. Recently my 1/2 sister, who I have met once

when she was around 8 (I am about 11 years older and this is the dtr of my

deadbeat dad) facebooked me and I didn't even respond. I know this girl was

rasied my a meth addict and has a slew of problems and I just don't want to go

there. I just don't have it in me. Similarly, a so-called family friend also

found me on FB and I ignored her as well. Once nada told her she had cancer we

never heard from her again. What kind of friend is that? My question is, is this

a healthy thing for me to do or just rude and mean? I am finally free of nada,

why invite other toxic people in? Before you answer, pls let me tell you about

my cat, and pls don't judge me about this- I feel like an a-hole.

>

> I have this cat who is 9. I have had her since she was a kitten. I have spent

literally thousands of dollars on this cat and all her issues. She has

inflammatory bowel disease and so vomits and has diarrhea frequently. She's on a

daily steroid which has made her fat and given her arthritis- she limps now and

I give her glucosamine chondroitin with her steroid. Right when my dtr was born,

our other cat died due to kidney issues. So she went from getting a ton of

attention and having a companion to no companion and us basically ignoring her

because we were so engrossed with the new baby. Fast-forward a year. We are

moving to a new house. I am so sick of the poop and vomit- she is really unclean

and does not try to clean herself. We have to wipe her butt with a baby wipe and

periodically shave her butt to keep her 1/2 way sanitary. I just feel like I am

not in a clean home and am sick of the litter box. Her quality of life is fine

but I know she is lonely. I work full time, have a 19m old and am pregnant, I

just don't have anything left for the cat. She's also not good with kids, but my

dtr has been pretty mellow about her so it hasn't been an issue. What bothers me

most of all, is that my best friend's 3 yo is severely allergic to cats. He was

in the hospital 2x before they figured out what it was. It kills me that they

can never come over and she is my dtr's godmother too. She has another little

girl who is the same age as mine. I want our kids to be close and she is like a

sister to me. With no FOO this is important you know? So we are moving and I

don't want to bring the cat for those reasons. I can't find anyone to take her.

I have tried every no-kill shelter in the state and no one will take an aging

special needs cat. I called a cat retirement place and they would take her for

5K. Yeah right! So I called the vet to talk about putting her down, which shocks

me that I would even consider that. I mean I was pre-vet in college! She won't

do it. I don't know what to do. Taking her to the pound seems too cruel and

horrible. But in my heart of hearts I don't want her anymore and that makes me

wonder- when did I get so cold? I am actually considering doing it.

>