Guest guest Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 I too am single, have been for 16 years. Believe me, I know where you are coming from. I have been there where I felt sorry for myself because no one wanted to be with me because of my size. But we HAVE to learn to find the love inside of ourselves and from a higher power. We do not need a man to love us!!!!! Fill your life with lots of family, friends, pets and the love from a devine being that loves us no matter what. And treat yourself the way you would want a man to. Buy yourself flowers, treat yourself to a nice dinner, take yourself to a movie, buy yourself chocolate or jewelry, light candles and be romantic to yourself. And by the way, there are tons of men out there that do like a bigger woman. They may not want to admit it because society says they shouldn't, but they are out there and they can be hard to find. I know because I've met them. But in order for them to love us, we have to first love ourselves. Then if we love ourselves and we do end up being alone, it won't really matter because we have the best lover, friend and companion ever - ourselves! Alana > > > " I am really working on teaching my son > that everyone is of value and worthy of love and acceptance regardless of size, > ethnicity, challenges, differences, etc... I don't know how to do this > adequately, but I'm learning... ' > > I really wish you great success with teaching your son that. I wish we could teach it to men. The main reason I can't accept my body as it is (I need to lose 100-110 pounds just to wear a size 12) is because I've been single for 10 years now. I keep hearing from the guys that interest me, " Sorry, you're really sweet but you're just a little too big for me " and at 55 years old, I truly don't want to be alone forever. So while I'd love to convince myself that my weight doesn't matter, it does matter to others and I can't pretend it doesn't as much as I'd love to. > > Sunny > > > > > > > > > Re: Re-introducing myself > > > Wow... Thanks for your kind words. I do believe I am one of those rare people > or so it seems) who lives in the present and doesn't dwell on the past unless > t's intentional (like when I'm working on issues). I have the ability to walk > way from toxic people in my life and move on. > I am so grateful that I'm not prone to depression. I really believe in working a > ob that you love, and working towards the things in life that make you feel > live and happy. It's not just about accepting where you are in life. It's > inding the things that bring you joy. Yes, you have to be content in the > oment, but there's no harm in pursuing the things that make you truly happy. > or me it's writing, gardening, reading, my family, learning new things, the > cean and nature, and the salon and spa business my dh and I have. > You know, when I look in the mirror, I'm not repulsed (except when I'm PMSing... > ol). I actually really truly LIKE myself. What I hate is the perceived PRESSURE > rom external sources - the media, the nipped and tucked botoxed aging women I > ee on TV, the slim chic beautiful young women I encounter in my line of work - > o be something I can't achieve and maintain. I hate that my son is so body > onscious and when he says " mom, I love you EVEN THOUGH you are fat " (he's only > and is just being honest), something dies inside. I wish I could eliminate > hose " voices " from my life and just BE. I am hoping that intuitive eating will > rown out those voices. > When I ditched the diet a few weeks ago I also deleted all the weight loss shows > had dvr'd - Biggest Loser, Village on a Diet, You are What you Eat (and more I > an't remember the name of right now). I am really working on teaching my son > hat everyone is of value and worthy of love and acceptance regardless of size, > thnicity, challenges, differences, etc... I don't know how to do this > dequately, but I'm learning... > April G > --- In IntuitiveEating_Support , Casey Anne <ruddenca@> > rote: > > Hi April - > > You have made ME love your life too! Not that I would classify myself as > unhappy, but I do envy you your abundant contentment. This may come as a > surprise to you since you started your message seeking help, but you have > inspired me to view my own life through such a grateful lens, to be happy > about where I am in my life right now and not dwell on where I would like to > be. But as for the need for a " perfect " body, I have found when dealing with > my own fixation on my appearance that its important for me to value things > about myself and my life that do not have to do with my appearance (like my > smarts, sense of humor, loving husband), along with things about my > appearance that don't have to do with my weight (like my eyes, smile, hair, > etc.). Perhaps you could focus more on really appreciating your inner gifts > that have obviously brought you such joy and contentment in your life? There > are obviously wonderful things about you, both inside and out, that have > brought such love and richness to your life. Celebrate these things, along > with your imperfect body that houses everything your husband and son love. > > - Casey > > > > ----------------------------------- > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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