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Reminding myself that this is a journey

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This is feeling very " two steps forward, one step back " for me. I have been

really focusing on embracing and loving my body as it is, changing my negative

internal monologue, and adjusting my view of skinny=beautiful. I feel like I

have been doing well, progressing slowly toward body acceptance and starting to

see a kinder self view emerge.

And then, out of the blue, a coworker asks me if I am pregnant. And, though I

feigned nonchalance, I wanted to run back to my office and hide under my desk

for the rest of the day. This person is often blunt and English is her second

language, so her comments generally lack tact and subtlety. Also, she has never

been welcoming to me and regularly criticizes me in public. I know in my head

that she is a negative, difficult person, and when she makes comments that

attack me on professional merit, I can quickly come back with a polite but firm

response that diffuses her inappropriate criticism. So why, when she criticizes

my body, can't I come back with an equally strong response? Why does that still

reduce me to a teary adolescent?

I know that this is not a linear path and that I will have peaks and valleys in

my progress towards intuitive eating and self acceptance, but it sure is hard to

take comfort in that when you are plopped unceremoniously into a valley.

Just for fun, here are some responses that I wish I had said to her:

-You think I look pregnant? How wonderful! My husband always thought I looked

the most beautiful when I was pregnant!

-No, I'm not pregnant, but I am still proud of this belly that produced my two

amazing boys! (while rubbing said belly)

-Well, you know you're never supposed to ask someone if they are pregnant so you

don't hurt their feelings if they aren't really pregnant. I guess it's a good

thing I am not easily offended. I am just grateful for this healthy body I have

been given.

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