Re: Re: I just asked myself...

[Guest guest]

Styxia, don't be so hard on yourself. What your desires tell me is that, with or without food, you're still in need of some relaxation and self-love. So, try to focus on those non-food activities that you are looking forward to, and then, if there's still a desire to comfort youself with food, then explore that desire more and even just go for it and really enjoy that food.

I sense a great fear and disappointment coming from you, as if you are thinking there is something wrong with you or " non-IE " about desiring food as comfort. I think sometimes the idea of " listening to a body's hunger and fullness signals " can become warped in our minds in to a very black and white mentality, where we feel if we are " doing IE right " (and really, there is no such thing!) we'll only eat foods that nourish our bodies and not our minds. This reminded me of an article I read some time ago that I found very helpful and enlightening (from Gena at Choosing Raw): http://www.choosingraw.com/eating-with-emotion/

Here is part of the article that I'm finding most relevant to make my point here (the highlights are my own):

In the last few days, my highly intelligent friend and blog reader  and I have been having some back and forth about a post I wrote in October, entitled “What Food is Not.” At the time, I liked the post a lot. I wrote it as a response to the many readers who have emailed about overeating and binge eating, and the jist of my argument was that we can’t look to food to satisfy all of our deeper needs for love and fulfillment.

 

In context, I think I made some good points. But back when I wrote the post, pointed out that the blog may not have given enough thought to the spiritual joys of eating. And she was right: in arguing that food can’t be our be all and end all, I think I inadvertently made it sound as though I don’t believe food offers us anything but macronutrients and calories. Food is nourishment for the body, yes, but it’s also a sensual pleasure, a source of communion between people, an expression of artistry, and much more. Food bloggers know this better than most people!

 

We can’t look to food as a substitute for human love, or as a stand-in for professional fulfillment, or as our sole source of contentment. Fixating on each morsel of what we eat, rather than going into the world and seeking out good friends, interesting work, and fulfilling experience, strikes me as unwise, and it reminds me of the obsessive, socially isolated mentality that often characterizes disordered eating.

 

But my post also missed something important, which is that food is more than the sum of its vitamins and minerals. And when the food we eat is nourishing (not only nutritionally, but spiritually), it gives us the energy we need to go out looking for all that other stuff — the friends, the work, the experience. Food may not be everything, but it is a whole heck of a lot, and stripping it of importance is as foolish as obsessing over it. Like so many things, it’s a balancing act. 

Yes, the fact that you desire food along with those activities is providing you with a great signal that you are looking for some sort of fulfillment outside of what food can provide, and to go ahead and explore that more. But don't feel dissapointed in yourself for desiring food, just use this as a moment of introspection! Maybe you can take some time to explore your emotions and provide yourself the comfort you need without using food. But also, maybe you'll discover that in your desire for some self-love, you're going to crave some comforting Mac and Cheese (or whatever works for you), and to go ahead and eat that and enjoy it for dinner at that time!

Best Wishes,Casey