RE:So Frustrated! I'm in so much debt because of my eating

[Guest guest]

Hi Jen,

Thank you so much for your post...I still don't like this new yahoo setup GRRR!

)

I have tried IE since about June and I have reall success with it, lost al most

2 pant sizes, felt great, was journaling my food plus journaling before and

after I ate to keep track of how I felt...but then I was put on a new medication

and my doctor said the worst side effect was hunger. That was all I needed to

hear. I'm convinced that my humger is out of control and I just keepp eating. I

am a pant size bigger than I was in June. I am in so much debt because of my

nighttime binges. Yesterday was the breaking point for me, I had to talk to

someone so I posted here ( not well and was so frustrated with yahoo). My bank

card was rejected at every place I went so I finally bought nearly $50 worth of

food on my hiigh interest credit card. I have debt for other reason but, really,

adding more and more money just to feel terrible about myself everyday??? It

makes no sense. I blame the medication. I blame my job. I blame the people I

work with, but most of all I blame me and hate myself for it. I see my

nutritionist tonight. I haven't see here in 4-5 weeks. I was avoiding her and

then when I finally did make an appointment she had to cancel because this poor

woman found out her husband has cancer. My overeating must seem like nothing to

her with all she is going through. I felt terrible even contacting her to make

an appointment. And now to go and say I have failed, I am gross, I can't stop

eating. I wish my doctor never told me that this medication could cause hunger

because it's in my head now. Ugh! I'm so sorry for such a long post. I am having

such a rough time.

Does anyone else find that they are just adding to their debt by binging???

Thanks again Jen for reaching out to me, hugs!

Cort

[Guest guest]

Hi Jen,

Thank you so much for your post...I still don't like this new yahoo setup GRRR!

)

I have tried IE since about June and I have reall success with it, lost al most

2 pant sizes, felt great, was journaling my food plus journaling before and

after I ate to keep track of how I felt...but then I was put on a new medication

and my doctor said the worst side effect was hunger. That was all I needed to

hear. I'm convinced that my humger is out of control and I just keepp eating. I

am a pant size bigger than I was in June. I am in so much debt because of my

nighttime binges. Yesterday was the breaking point for me, I had to talk to

someone so I posted here ( not well and was so frustrated with yahoo). My bank

card was rejected at every place I went so I finally bought nearly $50 worth of

food on my hiigh interest credit card. I have debt for other reason but, really,

adding more and more money just to feel terrible about myself everyday??? It

makes no sense. I blame the medication. I blame my job. I blame the people I

work with, but most of all I blame me and hate myself for it. I see my

nutritionist tonight. I haven't see here in 4-5 weeks. I was avoiding her and

then when I finally did make an appointment she had to cancel because this poor

woman found out her husband has cancer. My overeating must seem like nothing to

her with all she is going through. I felt terrible even contacting her to make

an appointment. And now to go and say I have failed, I am gross, I can't stop

eating. I wish my doctor never told me that this medication could cause hunger

because it's in my head now. Ugh! I'm so sorry for such a long post. I am having

such a rough time.

Does anyone else find that they are just adding to their debt by binging???

Thanks again Jen for reaching out to me, hugs!

Cort

[Guest guest]

Hi Jen,

Thank you so much for your post...I still don't like this new yahoo setup GRRR!

)

I have tried IE since about June and I have reall success with it, lost al most

2 pant sizes, felt great, was journaling my food plus journaling before and

after I ate to keep track of how I felt...but then I was put on a new medication

and my doctor said the worst side effect was hunger. That was all I needed to

hear. I'm convinced that my humger is out of control and I just keepp eating. I

am a pant size bigger than I was in June. I am in so much debt because of my

nighttime binges. Yesterday was the breaking point for me, I had to talk to

someone so I posted here ( not well and was so frustrated with yahoo). My bank

card was rejected at every place I went so I finally bought nearly $50 worth of

food on my hiigh interest credit card. I have debt for other reason but, really,

adding more and more money just to feel terrible about myself everyday??? It

makes no sense. I blame the medication. I blame my job. I blame the people I

work with, but most of all I blame me and hate myself for it. I see my

nutritionist tonight. I haven't see here in 4-5 weeks. I was avoiding her and

then when I finally did make an appointment she had to cancel because this poor

woman found out her husband has cancer. My overeating must seem like nothing to

her with all she is going through. I felt terrible even contacting her to make

an appointment. And now to go and say I have failed, I am gross, I can't stop

eating. I wish my doctor never told me that this medication could cause hunger

because it's in my head now. Ugh! I'm so sorry for such a long post. I am having

such a rough time.

Does anyone else find that they are just adding to their debt by binging???

Thanks again Jen for reaching out to me, hugs!

Cort

[Guest guest]

Cort,

I can really " hear " how much you are hurting, and my heart hurts for you!

I suggest, first and foremost, that you talk to yourself as if you were your friend instead of yourself, or better yet, your own child. Anything that would be too mean to say about anyone else... don't say it, or even think it! That mean-ness is out there in the universe where it can only have negative repercussions for you and those around you. Even though I am very glad that you are honest in sharing with us what you are thinking (i am sure you are not the only one feeling this, but maybe the only one right now who is being this honest) ... i hope we can help to change some of those thought!

Please don't ever forget that your self worth as a person has NOTHING to do with your weight. As someone on here (I think) recently remarked, your weight will not be on your gravestone! It matters little to the people around you. No matter what they say, ie if they worry about your health, no one else can't sleep at night because they are obsessing about YOUR thighs. So keep this in perspective. Your weight only speaks to your physical appearance, not to the you in you. Not to who you are as a person. 

It sounds like maybe you had a lot invested in your weight loss last spring? When you say that you had a lot of success with IE last spring, and that you lost 2 pant sizes... it makes me wonder if you defined your success by your weight loss? And thus, when the weight loss reversed... you were left feeling like a failure. 

What if you take a giant step back and throw the weight issue overboard - just agree to not think about it, at least for now - and focus on the INTERNAL work of IE. This will allow you to feel good about you, no matter what your weight, because you are much more in control of the results. And I would set the bar low in terms of your definition of success, at least to start. Pick one thing to work on at a time. For example, today I am going to try to eat consciously. I may overeat, but I will observe myself making that decision, even while I continue to eat without judgement. In other words, go back to basics. 

No medication can take away from the real work of IE, because the real work of IE is not weight loss, but GAINING you as a person. You may or may not find that following the steps of IE causes weight loss. But even if you DO lose weight, I encourage you to not focus on that as the ultimate indicator of success. Because as you can see now, external factors can take that weight loss away from you. And also, the more pressure you put on your weight, I think the more likely you are to gain! Many of us, even while thrilled to lose weight, are also scared by it, and tend to self sabotage. IE often backfires as a diet, even without this self sabotage, because once you are focusing on your weight you are not focusing on understanding you and your internal environment. Focus on the tenets of IE and leave the weight alone.  I hope you can feel good about yourself whatever your weight. 

I definitely agree, too, with the suggestion to get Women, Food, and God!warmly,abby

 

Hello Cort,

if you have the women, food & god book, there is a really good chapter about using " food " (or alcohol, shopping, sex, internet, cocaine etc etc) to " numb " ourselves, to shut ourselves down, to avoid facing the pain of any current life crisis, old hurts, fears of future etc, etc, etc. On p 39 she writes, " There is madness in obsession, yes, but it's value is that it drowns out the madness of life. "

If you don't have the book yet, I highly recommend it. It was one of those " life changing " books for me.

best regards

mj

[Guest guest]

Cort,

I can really " hear " how much you are hurting, and my heart hurts for you!

I suggest, first and foremost, that you talk to yourself as if you were your friend instead of yourself, or better yet, your own child. Anything that would be too mean to say about anyone else... don't say it, or even think it! That mean-ness is out there in the universe where it can only have negative repercussions for you and those around you. Even though I am very glad that you are honest in sharing with us what you are thinking (i am sure you are not the only one feeling this, but maybe the only one right now who is being this honest) ... i hope we can help to change some of those thought!

Please don't ever forget that your self worth as a person has NOTHING to do with your weight. As someone on here (I think) recently remarked, your weight will not be on your gravestone! It matters little to the people around you. No matter what they say, ie if they worry about your health, no one else can't sleep at night because they are obsessing about YOUR thighs. So keep this in perspective. Your weight only speaks to your physical appearance, not to the you in you. Not to who you are as a person. 

It sounds like maybe you had a lot invested in your weight loss last spring? When you say that you had a lot of success with IE last spring, and that you lost 2 pant sizes... it makes me wonder if you defined your success by your weight loss? And thus, when the weight loss reversed... you were left feeling like a failure. 

What if you take a giant step back and throw the weight issue overboard - just agree to not think about it, at least for now - and focus on the INTERNAL work of IE. This will allow you to feel good about you, no matter what your weight, because you are much more in control of the results. And I would set the bar low in terms of your definition of success, at least to start. Pick one thing to work on at a time. For example, today I am going to try to eat consciously. I may overeat, but I will observe myself making that decision, even while I continue to eat without judgement. In other words, go back to basics. 

No medication can take away from the real work of IE, because the real work of IE is not weight loss, but GAINING you as a person. You may or may not find that following the steps of IE causes weight loss. But even if you DO lose weight, I encourage you to not focus on that as the ultimate indicator of success. Because as you can see now, external factors can take that weight loss away from you. And also, the more pressure you put on your weight, I think the more likely you are to gain! Many of us, even while thrilled to lose weight, are also scared by it, and tend to self sabotage. IE often backfires as a diet, even without this self sabotage, because once you are focusing on your weight you are not focusing on understanding you and your internal environment. Focus on the tenets of IE and leave the weight alone.  I hope you can feel good about yourself whatever your weight. 

I definitely agree, too, with the suggestion to get Women, Food, and God!warmly,abby

 

Hello Cort,

if you have the women, food & god book, there is a really good chapter about using " food " (or alcohol, shopping, sex, internet, cocaine etc etc) to " numb " ourselves, to shut ourselves down, to avoid facing the pain of any current life crisis, old hurts, fears of future etc, etc, etc. On p 39 she writes, " There is madness in obsession, yes, but it's value is that it drowns out the madness of life. "

If you don't have the book yet, I highly recommend it. It was one of those " life changing " books for me.

best regards

mj

[Guest guest]

Cort,

I can really " hear " how much you are hurting, and my heart hurts for you!

I suggest, first and foremost, that you talk to yourself as if you were your friend instead of yourself, or better yet, your own child. Anything that would be too mean to say about anyone else... don't say it, or even think it! That mean-ness is out there in the universe where it can only have negative repercussions for you and those around you. Even though I am very glad that you are honest in sharing with us what you are thinking (i am sure you are not the only one feeling this, but maybe the only one right now who is being this honest) ... i hope we can help to change some of those thought!

Please don't ever forget that your self worth as a person has NOTHING to do with your weight. As someone on here (I think) recently remarked, your weight will not be on your gravestone! It matters little to the people around you. No matter what they say, ie if they worry about your health, no one else can't sleep at night because they are obsessing about YOUR thighs. So keep this in perspective. Your weight only speaks to your physical appearance, not to the you in you. Not to who you are as a person. 

It sounds like maybe you had a lot invested in your weight loss last spring? When you say that you had a lot of success with IE last spring, and that you lost 2 pant sizes... it makes me wonder if you defined your success by your weight loss? And thus, when the weight loss reversed... you were left feeling like a failure. 

What if you take a giant step back and throw the weight issue overboard - just agree to not think about it, at least for now - and focus on the INTERNAL work of IE. This will allow you to feel good about you, no matter what your weight, because you are much more in control of the results. And I would set the bar low in terms of your definition of success, at least to start. Pick one thing to work on at a time. For example, today I am going to try to eat consciously. I may overeat, but I will observe myself making that decision, even while I continue to eat without judgement. In other words, go back to basics. 

No medication can take away from the real work of IE, because the real work of IE is not weight loss, but GAINING you as a person. You may or may not find that following the steps of IE causes weight loss. But even if you DO lose weight, I encourage you to not focus on that as the ultimate indicator of success. Because as you can see now, external factors can take that weight loss away from you. And also, the more pressure you put on your weight, I think the more likely you are to gain! Many of us, even while thrilled to lose weight, are also scared by it, and tend to self sabotage. IE often backfires as a diet, even without this self sabotage, because once you are focusing on your weight you are not focusing on understanding you and your internal environment. Focus on the tenets of IE and leave the weight alone.  I hope you can feel good about yourself whatever your weight. 

I definitely agree, too, with the suggestion to get Women, Food, and God!warmly,abby

 

Hello Cort,

if you have the women, food & god book, there is a really good chapter about using " food " (or alcohol, shopping, sex, internet, cocaine etc etc) to " numb " ourselves, to shut ourselves down, to avoid facing the pain of any current life crisis, old hurts, fears of future etc, etc, etc. On p 39 she writes, " There is madness in obsession, yes, but it's value is that it drowns out the madness of life. "

If you don't have the book yet, I highly recommend it. It was one of those " life changing " books for me.

best regards

mj

[Guest guest]

@, Cort,

I feel for you so much. I do hope your appt with your nutritionist goes well

tonight and that she can offer you some good advice. And you shouldn't feel

badly at all about even calling her for the appt with what she is going through-

it's most likely that she's relieved to have you come because it will distract

her from her situation.

I am also on quite a few meds and I am concerned about the weight gain side

effects. I know I need to add more meds to my " cocktail " and most of the options

I have are those that cause weight gain. Is the med that you started on the

only one you can take? Can your doctor switch you to a different one that works

as well?

Hugs,

Jen