well, I broke down & weighed on the wii

[Guest guest]

SOMETHING was being revealed by this experience & i wanted to shaSo after

humming & hawing about whether I should weigh myself. It's bee 2 months since my

monthly weigh in & the " voice " has been telling me that I'm " getting fat again "

& that " this isn't working " & " you should go back to dieting before you gain it

all back " I took the plunge & actually weighed myself this morning (the 11th was

my usual weigh in date). I weighed exactly the SAME as I did Oct 11. My BMI was

the same so how come I feel so much heavier & my clothes SEEM to be tighter on

me. I've been doing a regular weight lifting program at the gym 3 times a week &

some additional cardio, yoga & belly dancing (for fun) but everytime I would see

my reflection in the gym mirrors I would hear that voice telling me I " look

fat " . This is so discouraging that I can't see myself as I really am. My husband

& daughter tell me that it is because before I was LOSING weight/inches so i

could see the progress but now that I'm maintaining I can't remember what it was

like " before' so I'm seeing this " false " image. I'm thinking it is something

like what happens to anorexics when they look in the mirror. That is a bit scary

but at least I'm not stopping myself from having what ever I want & I'm not

DIETING (even though I admit the " voice " told me to.

Sorry this post wound up so long it was just that it seemed like re it. I think

that it's possible that I have become AFRAID of the scale now & perhaps I need

to make friends with it (at least for a while) once a month just to keep things

" real " and see how that goes. I certainly do feel BETTER since the " voice " has

been proven WRONG. Don't know if that is good or bad. LOL.

mj